JANE AUSTEN

My Son had the television on yesterday before he left for work and after his wildlife program ended, he went to work and the TV continued, I went on to watching it. It was a program dedicated to the author Jane Austen. Oh, my it was so good. To live in those days of course was hard if you weren’t rich, but if you were well off, wow, what a life. Jane however, was far from wealthy, but in my opinion, was full of class!  

 

Jane Austen lived with her parents until she was in her mid-twenties and she had 7 siblings. They lived in a rectory because of her father’s job and though it was a large house, it was also home to a boys boarding school. So, a lot of people under one roof.

 

They kept chickens and cows. She wrote from the age of eleven. She wrote satires, poems, plays and stories! Her father bought her a beautiful mahogany desk to write on.

 

She spent a lot of time walking so you would think she would be fit? An yet she died quite young.

 

She played the piano it’s interesting as I grew up a lot of my time was spent in Moscow and the higher-class families spent much time talking about reading, as they did so much of it and, music as they played instruments, normally piano. Just as Jane did. It’s a way I would love all children to be brought up. Just perhaps not so serious as my friends brought up their children in Russia.

 

One of Janes brothers was sold to a childless couple and when he grew up, he ended up receiving £15,000 per year in his occupation that was a fortune in those days even Janes Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice only earned £10,000 per year. Still a fortune. Can you imagine selling your child? What will go through that child’s mind knowing out of eight children, he was the one to be sent away, or were they put on show for the couple to pick? Oh, how dreadful.

 

I think there are only three of Janes manuscripts left.

 

I loved the descriptions of the luxurious plush furnishings in those days, of plush ruby red velvet cushions which popped through the vast banisters of the gallery landing.

 

Jane couldn’t swim. The ostons went on holiday to the beach but had basic ones and where they stayed was the ground floor as in those days, the poor people stayed on the ground floor of buildings and her family were poor. Though Jane was obviously very intelligent and in my opinion, promoted high class, words that are for sure dying in our country, now some may say good, but what has replaced high class is uglier than what was back then.

 

Age 25, in 1801, Jane left home forever as her father had to leave their home as he retired. They moved to Bath. When she first heard she was moving to Bath, she fainted. Where you lived in Bath, reflected your status. But Mr. Oston couldn’t walk the steep hills and they needed greenery as that is what they came from but Bath was noisy and not desirable.

 

4 Sidney places in Bath is where they ended up living. £150 per year is what they paid to live there. A quarter of what the father earned on his retirement. Now days, it’s a holiday home. They had a view of the park. They didn’t live in Bath for long. Jane did get proposed to though she did struggle in finding love. She was considered unattractive. Also, she was Whitty and that wasn’t an attractive feature in those days. The man who proposed to Jane was refused. She refused because she wanted to be an author and if she married she would have to give birth.

 

 Her first novel was sold in 1803 but didn’t get published in her life time.

 

Janes father died in 1805. They ended up living in a very damp house full of mosquitos. Jane ended up living in South Hampton. It was the lowest point in Janes life. it was considered the dirty town. Though you could see dolphins in the sea back then, now it’s built up no sea where it used to be. The house they lived in had a lovely garden with city walls. The castle back then is now a tower block and Janes garden a pub.

 

Jane received a legacy from a little old lady who she met years ago. Also, a piano that was worth £2. My, imagine buying a piano now for that much? But it lets you see just how much money her brother earned.

 

When Edwards wife died, remember the brother who was adopted? He bought his family a property but Jane didn’t want to move there. Why would he do that when he was given away?

 

Jane would wake early to play the piano and then make the tea. She was very good at housework apparently.

 

 She re wrote the novels she wrote earlier. In 1811 she had her book published sense and sense ability. And received £140 and published Pride and prejudice in 1813.   

 

Gosh making her ink in those days was a recipe in itself. You should read what went into the recipe?

 

Mansfield park was another book that was published.

Her other brother Henry went to London to be a banker. Obviously, the book Emma was inspired by London.

 

Jane got her new publisher she was strong and stood her ground. She was offered £450 for the publisher to have the copy right but she refused their offer and decided to what we call now self-publish.

 

 In her life time she earned £600

 

A year after Emma was published, she fell very ill oh it’s so sad. She was only 41. Her sister and sister in law cared for her she died in 1817

Oh, her death was so sad and ladies couldn’t attend funerals in those days. There was her three living brothers and nephew that’s all. But there was a very long procession walking to where she would rest.

 

So, she never married and previously, her name was not even published in her books. But now she is world famous.

 

I always feel so sad when people struggle in life and are not recognised until their death. Appreciate people what you have. Love and care for those who love you. It’s too late when they are gone to the forever garden.

 

BLOGS OF THE YEAR BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Well it’s the last day of 2017. For me it’s the end of a year I didn’t expect to turn out the way it has, as for next year? I can only say I’m dreading it. I so hope it will

 surprise me and this time next year even before, I’m actually writing about such happiness.

 

My Husband and I are very much in love and together and I thank God for that. But talking of God, I’m praying with every bone in my body and I’m just not getting answered.  I’m so tired now of begging. I’m also sad and afraid my faith is being tested.

 

Old Bloggets / readers will know my religion is not the normal. But one of a difference. I for sure believe in a man called Jesus but I think he came from another planet.  And beyond that is a totally new blog which I have written about many times before.

 

I believe in a deep connection and right now the phone line to our maker is permanently engaged.

 

All I want is a New Year with peace in my heart, and soul, and with constant tension, that isn’t going to happen.

 

Tonight, we are going out to see the New Year in. it’s the night when we are meant to be happy and full of smiles… Possibly tonight I shall deserve an Oscar.

 

Well my blogs are true and with me you will go through so much including laughs… honestly. Haha. See, I did smile then. I’m sure I will be fixed with a snowball with a cherry on the top…. And if that doesn’t work, perhaps my maker will take my call.

 

Sometimes life is like a combination lock and it’s getting the right numbers in the right order before I will be able to open the safe.

 

Are we closer to treatment for our sight loss? I wish I could just ask someone who would give me a straight answer. Who actually knows. But then people say, no one knows. And what will make next year any different? Or, the year after or in five years.  

  

I guess we are doing more research now than ever and that is a good sign. And I have to try to keep positive with hope. Just it’s getting tiring. I’m sometimes exhausted with the constant wishing to see. Life really is challenging especially this time of year.

 

I’m listening to a choir called Libera, and they are really lovely. We have a program on TV in the house called Songs of Praise. It’s the big choir sing off with so many choirs from all over the world. Oh, it’s so lovely. All the cathedrals from everywhere just for New Year the songs they are singing are really lovely.

 

I loved my days in the choir. That was the best thing about our schools. An escape and into words of another life. my Husband has the most amazing voice, not sure what ever happened to mine… at school Hub and I used to get the main roles in our singing at my last school the choir was very different our first school taught us so much about how one should sing where as the second school was more relaxed. We only learned our old choir master from our first school, who was ancient back then, is still alive. If only he knew what an influence he was in my Husbands life. bless him, he must be well in his 90’s now.

 

So, dearest Bloggets. Here are  the top three blogs of what you have voted as the best blogs of 2017 in order of how many of you have voted for each one. And that leaves me to say have a happy New Year. Tomorrow is another day and another year. Who knows what will happen in the New Year, but whatever it is, I hope for all you need in your life to fall at your knees and for you to be able to pick up what you want, need and desire. With love.

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WALKING HOME IN WINTER

 

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

I shiver as the night turns into a tunnel of darkness

 

As the witch’s bleed madness

 

Offering drinks that make you feel horrendous

 

As the night turns cloudless

 

The stars jump on carpets

 

 The navy wool comes closer to the earth

 

As if the moon is giving birth

 

The inky sky kneels to the ground

 

As the finger like branches grip all around

 

Everything seems so far away

 

It’s not safe

 

I wish it was daylight

 

I don’t like the winter nights

 

Especially at this time of year

 

When spooks tell you they are here

 

Potions are created

 

All new and shiny seem to be dated

 

Spiders and sparklers give fear

 

Wizards cheer

 

Another anniversary

 

Putting people in misery

 

But it shall pass

 

And alas

 

No more walking home in winter

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

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Good afternoon Bloggets. The weather today is weird. It says it should be really cold but it’s not, it’s mild in a spooky kind of way. Calm, no wind/breeze at all and the air feels warm. Is it the calm before the storm? As it’s supposed to be bitter cold for the next few weeks.

 

 

 

I have just sat down for the first time today and it’s speeding towards five in the afternoon.

 

 

 

My Son has gone shopping and I’m scared of what is to come home with him.

 

Sometimes if I need something I just can’t get and I ask him, he either says no, or, another day Mum which results in not at all, but this morning in passing as we are like ships in the night, I just happened to say that his Dad is going to buy a Christmas jumper for work this year. Oh, my, what did I do?

 

 

 

He went to see Shamrock and sent me a text saying that he has bought Hub a Christmas jumper that will make me howl. It’s a term to say laugh… I’m not hopefully going to turn into a werewolf.

 

I don’t think I am.

 

Having said that.

 

Em!

 

 

 

I’m not sure Hub will be pleased with our boys enthusiasm to buy him a jumper. Especially if only Hub knew just what kind of jumper he was planning this morning until I intervened saying no Son, your Dad is a manager and he can’t be too naughty… Well, on that note, I thought I kind of put Boy Wonder off buying anything without Hub being there… Obviously not, so what on earth is coming home in a bag tonight? My Son is such a prankster.

 

 

 

Tomorrow I’m off to buy paint. Should be interesting after when I went to buy it for my new kitchen and the guy in the shop said he wasn’t allowed to advise me. I was so annoyed about that. So, I would have put my signature on a paper to say if my walls come out a really bad colour, I wouldn’t sue them, but that wasn’t an option.

 

 

 

I’m going to get the landing painted. What colour? Not sure as my curtains are red. I have a vase on my windowsill on the landing as it’s a large window with red silk roses in it and a couple of glass ornaments with red in them. So, something to go with red. Not grey though, because my carpet is kind of a caramel colour and that is the colour I am thinking about putting on the walls. Right now, I have a milky cup of tea. Smile. Those of you who remember when I got my kitchen paint I said I was after the colour of a dish of canned oranges in a dish with cream poured over the top. So, a hint of orange. What did I get? Well, some say peach, some say apricot, some say a yellow nectarine. And one person has said orange. I have had all kinds of fruit on my walls I always describe the paint in food colours, that is the way I remember colours. For example, in my bathroom, I have the colour of Granny Smith apples. Haha. My bedroom is dark apricot on the bottom the top is light apricot. I wanted mushroom for my office but it turned out beige with a hint of pink. Odd? I thought so.

 

 

 

So, my friend and our Blogget, from America who had open heart surgery a month ago is still recovering. Bless her I can’t wait until she is fit again and I bet she can’t either. She is walking on a frame right now.

 

 

 

 my lady who walks our dogs fell very ill whilst out the other day. Not with our dogs but her own. Bless her it was awful. She called me she sounded really bad and she was trying to walk to the carpark where her friend was on her way to pick her up. I spent five minutes trying to persuade her to go straight to the hospital when her friend came for her as that wasn’t the intention of her or, her friend. She said she couldn’t walk properly she was bent double and her heart was going crazy. She said she felt so odd and wasn’t sure where she was now. oh my, I was so worried. I kept on the phone until she reached the carpark. Then she called me that night saying her friend did take her to the hospital. She was given medicine had tests too. And was out the next day. Shocking as she lives on her own, she is in her mid-seventies too. But that is our hospitals. It was a blood clot to her hart I hope she will still be able to spend Christmas with her Son in New Zeeland? She will know in two weeks. And finally, my lovely friend and our wonderful Blogget from South Africa, has her birthday tomorrow. She emails me and I love her words. I’m hungry for them all the time. Gosh, she writes so well, she is so intelligent. She paints pictures with her words and my insides race when I know I have an email from her as in her words, I’m transported to another world. She could write the telephone book and I wouldn’t be able to put it down.

 

 

 

A very happy birthday my Dear much loved Louise.

 

 

 

Inspired by my friends and again our Bloggets, from a blog I wrote a few days ago, I would like to talk about those of us who were diagnosed with an eye disease and  were told we would end up blind. I have written before how in my world blindness wasn’t an option, but each night my pillow would tell that story differently.

So, you have sight, enough even to drive, you can see small print and for sure your loved one’s face, at least the outline of them. How will you feel knowing that one day, you won’t be able to see?

 

Anything, nothing at all.

 

 

 

Well most people I know of spend the next three years, ten years even forty, dwelling on this and mourning the loss of something that you haven’t lost yet.

 

 

 

I wish when I could see I took every day and embraced it rather than spending my time worrying about how I would cope in a world without sight.

 

 

 

Every person copes with sight loss differently. Most go into a very deep depression and can never get out of it totally. It’s a cutting sadness and fear that I personally felt and still do whenever I’m out walking just me and my beautiful little guide dog, I go through the motions of knowing where I am to go it’s that map in my head that my mobility instructor taught me. Or, what my Husband and I have taught ourselves. It’s a time when I hope, my dog will remember her map as she too has been taught the same route. But, then I think, oh, my what on earth am I doing out here, among traffic, steps things to bump into if me or my dog gets one small movement wrong? Then panic hits me like a hammer to the head and a kick from a heavy horse to my stomach, then my insides sink, I shake, I have to recover. I have to control my breathing. And I do, I sometimes ask for my angels to walk with me and do you know what, they do. I get home safely most times, and few. A huge sigh. I did it, we did it little girl, a treat for Waggatail and a coffee and something sweet for me. And the rest of the day, I’m physically pooped. But we did it. All those years that was an impossible thought. Never ever would I be able to walk without a human. Never. But I do. If only all those years I knew this information, gosh, who knows, I may have more life in me and less chance of developing ulcers. More time to live, rather than worrying, crying, stressing.

 

 

 

When I first went blind remember without much notice other than the Doctors cruel callas way I was diagnosed at four, telling me  I could have months with sight or a few years, my world changed. I didn’t really at that point understand blindness. All I knew was, my Mum started to cry and she phoned relatives to say she had the worst news to tell them. There was a coolness in the air that day that never left me. This is why I encourage parents with children who have been given such news to not show them how afraid of what may happen to them. Once your children know they have such a condition, even if it is killing you, please keep those thoughts away from your child just long enough for them to learn to live with their news and get strong enough to be able to handle your grief on their little shoulders.

 

 

 

So Bloggets, if you have sight, prepare yourselves for if, you ever become blind. But please live every day as you may have so many years of the sight you have now or, you may have a few months, if you have years, and you grieve and stress until that dreaded day comes, all those years could have been spend enjoying what you have to the full. Be grateful for what you have. But if you only have a few months with vision, still obviously prepare yourself but still spend the next few months taking in everything, the face of your love and your children, flowers, your pets colours remember them as they will come in handy later on. For example, when you want to match clothes or decorate your house. You may be thinking, what is the point of colour in a blind world, wow, there is so much point. How depressing for your children, Grandchildren, friends Husband if you marry a sighted person like I did with my first Husband, just because you can’t see, doesn’t mean your family should live in a grey world or brown. Get those scatter cushions out and make sure they are bright and make your house a happy looking home. If you know you have pretty colours around you, I promise it will make you feel better.

 

 

 

 At first when you lose your vision, you will I am sure go into a dreadful place but I promise you will be alright. Most people I know it took them a year, some a few years, me,, it took me so many years but I wasn’t prepared I didn’t expect to lose my sight overnight not from having really good sight I thought it would go slowly. No, it went so fast I couldn’t catch it but when I had it, I blocked it out. I put it on a shelf and gave my attention to the days when I wouldn’t have it. Crazy, right? I have been blind now for twenty years. I hate it, but I laugh, I really do and I have a life though it’s so different to what I used to have in the respect I can’t see from my eyes but I see from my heart I take no rubbish from anyone now I know my stuff and I get further now than I did back then as back then no way I would go out at night time as  I couldn’t see very well if at all in the dark, now if I need to go out at night? It’s the same as during the day for me only colder and colder as in temperature not in my heart. It’s the best feeling to walk somewhere in the dark you know, I smile as I am walking thinking to myself, I can do this now, I couldn’t before.

 

 

 

You will be afraid you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t. but it can be less scary if you prepare yourself and know that blindness is just a different way of living. There are things you can’t do, like my Son tonight is going to a Christmas market. Oh, I would love to do that, but Hub and I can’t sadly. This does hurt me every year at this time, but hey, there is always on-line shopping and OK, it’s not half as good as you can’t enjoy the Christmas atmosphere, but you may have family or friends who will take you to the markets for example. Hub and I love shopping and if I could see we would love to browse in the shops, but again we can’t but it may be different for you, you may have family who will be kind enough to want to be with you whilst you shop, not as a duty but because it’s your company that they may enjoy.

 

   

 

If you are reading this blog without a screen reader, be happy, if you have to use some kind of magnifier but still can see enough to see your face in the mirror, enjoy every wrinkle, smile. You have a gift that I can only dream of, but you know what? The happiest day of my life was the day I married my now and forever Husband. And, both of us are blind. It was the most perfect day a dream that came true. My first love from school was about to be my Husband. I had waited for him for 28 years. He melted my heart as he said I did his, so our melted hearts are as one and were remoulded and now we share the same love and my Husband and I see the world in a totally different way together.

 

 

 

I have written before about how you can prepare yourself for if the day may come and you do lose your sight, but I shall write another blog on this subject within the next few days. And remember, it may never happen, but if it does, be prepared. If it never happens, and you never need to use your skills, then what have you lost? Not your sight that’s for sure. Wake up tomorrow, appreciate everything don’t waist your time by worrying about something that may never happen and if it does, you will be ready to own it.

 

© Fiona Cummings

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I’m not sure why, but this blog received 18 votes.

My Husband asked me to write this blog. I must say, it’s a subject that I’m slightly uncomfortable with! I’m not even sure how to start this.

Bear with?
So, growing up, I had some sight. When I stood still I saw chrystal clear. I could read tiny print. As soon as I moved my head, my sight made me dizzy. As in everything was like a broken jigsaw puzzle.
What I could see clearly was only when I kept my head still, and it was in small sections. So, a face, I would look at someone’s eye, see the eye perfectly, move to the other eye, though sometimes pointless, because it was the same as the other one, I wonder if I saw so well what I did see was like sighted people? Then to the nose, remembering the eye, then the mouth, cheek bones and hair. In my mind working overtime to remember all parts of the face. Then my imagination would do the rest for me. I would see colours perfectly well. A car would come towards me passing on the road and I would see a wheel just the one, but it would be clear enough for me to know it was a car. Because I had such good sight, I would not need my hearing or other senses.

At nights, the sky would be dark blue. I would see shadows. I wouldn’t be able to see steps whilst out, or get by in a restaurant, on my own, but I didn’t need to worry. As a child, I was in the protection of boarding school where we were prisoners to the outside world. At home, I had my parents to see for me. When I was in Russia, I had friends and my Mum. I had vision all around me. I read magazines to see what was in fashion. What people had in their houses, I knew what looked good and what didn’t. I was taught by my Mum what colours matched and what didn’t though her fashion style really was dated. But I knew this, because I saw what other girls wore, who were my age.

Then I married. My ex was fully sighted. There was nothing around the house I didn’t do. I could see everything in tiny portions. It took me longer, but I just learned to think faster and remember quicker. My memory was my best friend. I didn’t go out the house really that much only to my parents house and back home. So, I didn’t need to really live in the real world as someone partially sighted. I was in my head I had to be for the past I was living in. I was fully sighted. I had the cushion of sight all around me.

I splashed out in the world of modelling for some time. Working as a teenager. From 13 till 17, my last job was a teen magazine and that was the only job I was told to wear my own clothes. Thank goodness, I had a rough idea what to wear, clothing always was important to me I loved matching colours, it was almost an obsession.

Fashion changed and people started dressing their houses in creams, carpets, walls and furniture all the same. I found this a boring style. Plain to the eyes and lacking in imagination. Where was the fun? The spark of existence. The wow factor? Walking from one cream room to another? Yawn? Each of my rooms at my house had a different theme. A new story to tell, a different chapter spoke to me.

Then the dreaded day came and I had to wake up to the world of forever darkness. That morning occurred where I never wanted to be. I had gone blind, colours, fashion, style, interior decorating was to me to become a part of my life that would never return.

Fast forward many hard years and into the next stage of my life. The next stage which rather than scared me, woke me up to live in a world where I never wanted to go, an yet once there, I was as if born again. There were wires inside of me which came alive. A new spark I still get a sense of thrill inside my stomach as I entered the world of acceptance. At last, I belonged. All of my life, I wasn’t blind, I was not sighted, I was partially sighted but not really allowed to be. It was my Mums ambition to get me sight, to find a cure so I wouldn’t live in a world she couldn’t comprehend and she got told by medics who were trying to fight for my sight to be restored that I had to forget about ever going blind, that sight was the only option. So, nothing prepared me for the blind world. Ten years passed. Feeling very alone, knowing no one at all who could help me or talk to me about what life is like as a blind person, but hang on, was I ready to hear what life was like as a person without sight? Answer, no, as my sight would return, one day soon.

Well, that day never came, but what did, was a new world in the shape of my now Husband.

I divorced my ex and entered into a world with my new Husband, who was totally blind and he had never ever seen. He was born without sight. So, he came from a totally different perspective

He spent most of his childhood at boarding school, his secondary school was for blind children too. Whereas mine was for partially sighted. He lived in the blind world and when he had to enter the big bad sighted world, he had the tools to work with and more importantly the mind set!

He married a woman who was also in the blind world, he has told me that when they did anything like decorate their house, they took advice from sighted people, they never had to think about what looked good, their house and garden was other people’s ideas. What they wore, was what felt nice, like the materials, fashion never played a part in their clothing. Hair styles? Very basic. How do you know what you look like? My Husband has good genes, so he has the base to look good no matter, but I just can’t imagine what it must be like to not know what a face any face, looks like? To someone who has never seen, a face means nothing really, just what one feels like, colours are nothing. It’s like saying to a sighted person, my dress is Shmerlica and my shoes to match are clupick, I have painted my nails blerbin, to compliment the blerbin highlights in my hair. Colour, Shmolour.

When my Husband met, me it was a totally different world. I tried to still look my best, taking some pride in my clothing, I passed that bug onto my Husband, and it did course some conversations as I tried to let him know that certain colours didn’t match. He stressed over this, as before whatever went. I guess it would have been an easier life, but rightly or wrongly, my life has always been in the public and what the people think was, important to me and my Husband is very important to me and has always worked in some sort of management role, so to me, he should look important especially as he works with people who will look and judge. Sighted people do, even if they don’t know it, this is why I get told I don’t look blind, to me it is just people being not very intelligent, as I wouldn’t say to someone, you don’t look like you have a heart problem, or your legs don’t look as if you should have a wheelchair. It’s called insensitive. You may think it, but really guys? There are blind people out there who’s eyes don’t shake, we don’t all wear dark glasses and we do try some of us, to still fit in. It’s so much easier for me to relax my eyes, but because of my past, I try to look like you and look around a room, I catch myself doing this all the time, how stupid am I? I can’t see what is over there, but I don’t want to sit with my head down or straight ahead. Because I had sight, I know how to sit in a way you do.

What I don’t understand is when children are home with their parents and they do start to put their heads down, should the parents say to their children, hold your head up? And why should that child do that, just to fit in with the sighted world? My Husband does sit in a way that is quotes normal, I guess by luck, as he has never been told to do so. He doesn’t look around the room, because he is comfortable in the blind world and since I have met my Husband, I have learned more than I ever thought possible.

We have done things in the eight years we have been together than I did in the forty years before as someone in the sighted world. We are a team. Life is a challenge it’s difficult and can be depressing, but also can be so uplifting. We have a sense of achievement. My friend told me the other day we have a stylish house, now to me this is a compliment as her house is so posh so beautiful. I am glad I do have a memory, but how up to date is my memory? I guess if it’s stylish, it’s doing OK? My Husbands clothes are lovely, and he is aware now of what is to go with what, to me this must give him some kind of sense of pride? I hope so. He has pride in our house, for the first time in his life, we decide what goes in our house, what colour our walls are and what we buy to complement each other. He talks about where to put furniture now, he never used to show interest. I hope I have given him a spark because I know he has brought me to life. I was dead for so long my heart mind and soul. I am alive now with a want and need to see what is out there. I dream to see, it’s my hope, but no longer is it my life, I have learned to live, I go out and my senses have all come to life now, my sight isn’t there, but I hear things I have never heard before. I smell things I never knew had a fragrance. This isn’t always good. My brain is full of plans, and my house has gadgets that make living easier. I know and moreover my husband knows he is smart not only in his mind, but in his dress sense. I hope he is proud, as I am very proud of him.

A friend was asking me yesterday, how I cope with certain things? She has my eye disease and is afraid because her sight is going the same way mine did. Right now, she sees colours, she reads print and cooks as if sighted. The step into the blind world can be the most difficult thing that anyone has ever done, unless they are prepared. She is having a dinner party today, she hates telling her family about her sight. Hmm. I know that feeling, she is in denial. Don’t be ashamed. So, you are not like them as far as sight, but you have a brain. You could even be more intelligent than any one you know that is sighted. Your eyesight is broken. But there is room in your brain that wouldn’t normally be awake if sighted, that space in your mind has so much knowledge to share with you, for you to store information. You will be amazed at your achievements. So, tell those around you that you are struggling, until you learn how to do it the blind way. When you except yourself then others around you will feel your vibes, and feel more relaxed with you. My friend asked how we know what dinner dishes matched? Well, try to get different sets in different shapes or with embossed patents on so you can feel them. The worst thing to do is buy different dinner sets that all feel the same.

Clothes, buy different fabrics. Learn how to feel. You think you can feel? No, you really can’t properly until you lost your safety blanket of sight. Why would you need to feel in a way that blind people do? You don’t need to. How do we manage? We have no choice. There are only two options, one get a full-time carer, no thanks, and two do what we do, learn from mistakes and listening to others who are blind, but, you are not different, they are. And different is good. All the same is boring.

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