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Monday 3 September 2018

THE CHANCER #PoetryByFionaCummings


THE CHANCER

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

She was my life

My best friend

As well as my wife

We were to be together forever

What changed her mind?

Words said now are so unkind

It’s as if she’s not the same person anymore

Coldly she just walked out of the door

She didn’t look back

My sunny days are black

As for Christmas what will I do?

No one to hug at nights

No words like I love you

Why did she do it

Why did she go

How did she change so much?

I miss her every touch

Words and routine

She was my queen

The most beautiful lady I have ever seen

We were just so comfortable together

Like a hand in glove

How can I carry on?

When it’s only her I want to love

She won’t come back to me

My tears she can’t see

My pain she can’t feel

I feel like I’ve been given the rough deal

No explanation

End of devotion

She was so cold

No emotion

How can someone change so much?

I keep asking the same question

 Over and over again

What is the point of going on

Each time I put on the radio for some kind of sound

They are playing our song

Every day and night is the same

Time just ticks as the clock goes around and around

It’s some kind of sick game

And I don’t want to play

I have no words to say

Apart from I will do anything it takes

I am sorry for all of my mistakes

As obviously I have made many

I will work harder for extra money

I will be your slave

I will do all you ask of me

Nod and wave

Bow and beg

Hang me out on the washing line

Using a loose peg

Let me fall

Names you can call

I will be your doormat

Smile like the Cheshire cat

Hang on a minute

Let me catch my breath

I feel as if I’m facing my death

But if I do all the above

What respect must I have for myself

I’m actually fine on reflection

I shall stay for now on the shelf

So, I have no affection

No one to talk to

The person I want is only you

But if you come back home

Things are already broken

Though words haven’t been spoken

I’m totally choking

But I’m not your token

I need to brush myself off

Hold my head up high

Look at the stars in the sky

And ask myself why?

Why did you leave me?

That answer I may never hold

But I know I have been a good Husband

I swear that with the bible in my hand

It’s not what I have done but what we have done together or you alone

So, I shall stop calling you on the phone

I shall change the locks on my door

I actually don’t need you any more

 These words have been a lesson

Some would say a blessing

Why should I feel so bad?

When I was the best friend you ever had

Time to move on now

More lines on my brow

But I quit asking when and how

As no one has the real answers

As you have risked everything,

I guess you are the chancer

 

© Fiona Cummings

for a friend who’s just split with his wife. You will be OK, don’t give up and try something new in life, you are not old you have a lifetime in front of you. Don’t look back in anger or regret, but look back with pride.

 

 

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