THE CHANCER
BY FIONA CUMMINGS
She was my life
My best friend
As well as my wife
We were to be together forever
What changed her mind?
Words said now are so unkind
It’s as if she’s not the same person anymore
Coldly she just walked out of the door
She didn’t look back
My sunny days are black
As for Christmas what will I do?
No one to hug at nights
No words like I love you
Why did she do it
Why did she go
How did she change so much?
I miss her every touch
Words and routine
She was my queen
The most beautiful lady I have ever seen
We were just so comfortable together
Like a hand in glove
How can I carry on?
When it’s only her I want to love
She won’t come back to me
My tears she can’t see
My pain she can’t feel
I feel like I’ve been given the rough deal
No explanation
End of devotion
She was so cold
No emotion
How can someone change so much?
I keep asking the same question
Over and over again
What is the point of going on
Each time I put on the radio for some kind of sound
They are playing our song
Every day and night is the same
Time just ticks as the clock goes around and around
It’s some kind of sick game
And I don’t want to play
I have no words to say
Apart from I will do anything it takes
I am sorry for all of my mistakes
As obviously I have made many
I will work harder for extra money
I will be your slave
I will do all you ask of me
Nod and wave
Bow and beg
Hang me out on the washing line
Using a loose peg
Let me fall
Names you can call
I will be your doormat
Smile like the Cheshire cat
Hang on a minute
Let me catch my breath
I feel as if I’m facing my death
But if I do all the above
What respect must I have for myself
I’m actually fine on reflection
I shall stay for now on the shelf
So, I have no affection
No one to talk to
The person I want is only you
But if you come back home
Things are already broken
Though words haven’t been spoken
I’m totally choking
But I’m not your token
I need to brush myself off
Hold my head up high
Look at the stars in the sky
And ask myself why?
Why did you leave me?
That answer I may never hold
But I know I have been a good Husband
I swear that with the bible in my hand
It’s not what I have done but what we have done together or
you alone
So, I shall stop calling you on the phone
I shall change the locks on my door
I actually don’t need you any more
These words have been
a lesson
Some would say a blessing
Why should I feel so bad?
When I was the best friend you ever had
Time to move on now
More lines on my brow
But I quit asking when and how
As no one has the real answers
As you have risked everything,
I guess you are the chancer
© Fiona Cummings
for a friend who’s just split with his wife. You will be OK,
don’t give up and try something new in life, you are not old you have a
lifetime in front of you. Don’t look back in anger or regret, but look back
with pride.
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