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Saturday, 8 September 2018

CHILDREN OF BLIND PARENTS BY FIONA CUMMINGS


It’s raining and cold. We have all had beans on toast for breakfast. A real comfort food. It was nice to share a table with our Son for a change. With his work it’s rare these days.

 

I was saying to Hub I feel so sad and bad that we can’t just drop him off near where he works outside the door and pick him up tonight. As he has to park up and walk for fifteen minutes. This is when parents who are blind feel so hopeless. I know we are good parents in fact I feel I have been a better parent than most of my sighted friends have been to their children, but at the same time, I hear of how they have taken the kids somewhere they needed to go picked them up and so on. Hub and I have had to watch our Son when he was younger before he could drive struggle to get somewhere or if he goes out for a meal and is going to have a couple of drinks, then he gets a taxi. If I could see, I could take him.

 

When he was learning to drive, again, I couldn’t teach him to do that. Thank God for our friend Di who gave him the best crash course for want of a better word the day before his test. And Hub who paid for lessons for him as he felt bad that he couldn’t take him out.

 

Some say it makes him a better person, more independent and that is true, but sometimes we can get exhausted in life by having too many lessons.

 

I have written before about how at school he was punished because on the board in his class was his name saying it was his turn to bring in biscuits.  All the parents checked when it was their turn. My son was three. It was nursery school. I asked the teachers so many times to please just tell me? Or email me? No, they didn’t. so, because of this, my Son was told off and forbidden from having his biscuit and juice that day. He would come home and tell me and my heart would break for him. He was tiny a baby. And as he got older, all the parents in the class on parent day would be looking through their children’s work, my Son had to turn the pages telling me of all his work. Bless him he used to take my finger and push it on the paper. Some years later I asked him why he did that, he told me it was because he thought I saw through my fingers.  Teaching him to write? Oh, that was hell for me. I mean, I knew what letters looked like, as I had sight, but none at that point and now, so how does one do this? I used to have to tell him only by saying things like for a capital A, a triangle with a stick through the middle. Or, up down and across. I mean, how difficult and confusing must that have been for a four-year-old? I so badly needed my Mum at that point to help, but sadly long by then she was dancing with the angels.

 

And when he would come home from school and tell me he needed to wear yellow the next day if he had nothing yellow? How where would I get it? And he had to make a robot for the next day too. Just awful and it didn’t help that the teachers were so very unhelpful or understanding. I pray it’s changed now I know one friend who still has trouble even getting letters sent to her via email. They still send out print to her about her daughter. I think if you have a child who is blind then life is OK but for a parent who is blind, horrid.

 

But we can love our children spend so much time with them and even show them things in life that no other child may see because we as blind people have learned that you need to live for today and appreciate everything taking nothing for granted. Thankfully Hub and I have been able to do a lot for our Son we are fortunate. But the simple things, sadly not. I just hope to goodness that by the time our Grand children come along, there is a cure and no such thing as blindness. Retinitis Pigmentosa has a lot of research going on but it’s so very slow. They say it’s down to money, but is it all to do with that?  I just wish I knew of who is doing the research and see how passionate they really are. I hope they are and I hope one day my blogs are telling you just what I have seen that day and what I think of it.

 

RP really does affect an immediate family. Our Son for sure. Having said that, looking at his life and his girlfriends, he has had a much more privileged life and her parents can see.

 

     

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