It’s well after the pumpkin hour. I have just written a
poem. It’s on my blog page. I have touched on the subject of my poem many
times. Also written poems about the same subject. Angels. Do you believe in
angels? I do, but my brain is telling me that angels are as real as God and
Jesus. And? Are they real? I guess as real as angels. It’s a circle. My heart
is telling me that angels exist. Even my
head is telling me this. As today I was visited by my Mother in law, no, sorry,
yesterday. I was brushing my hair sitting on my bed when the most amazing fragrance
came flowing towards me. But coming from a direction to my left. The same smell
as I always smell when I say she has visited me. I have told you before, my
Husband and I were in his office at this house when he asked me to come closer
to him as the smell was right in the corner next to him. I didn’t have to get
close to him, I could smell it from the door where I was standing. It is always
the same smell. She stayed for ages. He kept saying, can you smell that? I calmly
said. It’s your Mum, you know it is. Of course, he knew, but no way he was
going to admit to that.
She came for both of our dogs and I joke when I smell the
roses now, saying she can go I am not losing any more dogs to her not for
years. But I feel in my heart, and part of my brain, she has our Hannah and Suki.
Black Beauty and Long Chops as they were known in my blogs. She came when Hub
left his last job, when he was stressing looking for work. He was at his desk
searching through the job pages. She came when we first moved here. She used to
come a lot at our last house, I am so glad she has followed us here, sometimes I
fear when we move, do our past over love ones know where we have gone?
So, how do I know its her? It’s two things, firstly she
planted loads of roses in our last garden for us. That was a very special day. And
we were determined to bring those roses with us to our new house. And they have
survived. Goodness knows how as we are no good in our garden. In fact, I’m
known to kill things, me and the slugs.
The roses have bloomed every year. And they smell nice, but
not half as strong as she does when she comes. When I smell smoke, I know it’s
my Mum and chocolate, my Dad. Sounds crazy, yep, it really does, and if I were
you, I would have stopped reading a while back, but this is when my brain comes
into this story/blog. I’m the kind of person who has to know answers or it
drives me crazy and I have had too many experiences in my life not to believe
in angels. But, they can’t be real. Why? Because they are not obvious enough. I
guess I’m not making sense. Angels isn’t a case of yes or no, black or white. Why
do they not come to us and tell us what we need to know? Some would say that is
not their job, but, if we need to know something so badly, why not help us make
life easier? Only they can tell us that or their maker. Our maker.
Why is there a need for angels? If they don’t answer our
questions? I guess to look out for us and if we believe, then we get some kind
of comfort. I feel things, smell them and even hear in a very odd way, but I still
have a part of my mind that doesn’t believe, but I have to. Why? Because they
are as real as a human standing next to me just in a different format.
So many times, I call upon my angels. I even call on my
Mother in law. She doesn’t always come, but something does. As there is an odd
feeling in the air. Again, I can’t explain myself.
I wish I could write words that made sense to you. No, to
me, that would be good. If I ask myself, do I believe in angels and I can only
say yes or no, what would I say? Answer? Yes. Categorically. But why? It’s just
too strong to be in my mind and I wasn’t thinking about my Mum in law the other
day when she just came and her fragrance was coming from my bedroom bathroom. Odd.
Why in there? Too many questions. But if you are in doubt, just ask for your
angel to show themselves and don’t be afraid as seriously, I’m a real wimp but
when I’m near an angel, I feel so at one with the stars the world myself and
earth. Heaven? Perhaps, but I’m not convinced my Mother in law has reached
heaven yet as I believe when they do, we don’t see/hear/feel them as much. Why?
Not sure, perhaps they have earned their wings and can fly as high as they want
to a land of perfection. But if they loved us on earth, why would they leave
us? And that is my question!
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