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Tuesday, 14 November 2017

WAITING FOR THE DARKNESS TO SEE THE LIGHT BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Good afternoon Bloggets. The weather today is weird. It says it should be really cold but it’s not, it’s mild in a spooky kind of way. Calm, no wind/breeze at all and the air feels warm. Is it the calm before the storm? As it’s supposed to be bitter cold for the next few weeks.

 

I have just sat down for the first time today and it’s speeding towards five in the afternoon.

 

My Son has gone shopping and I’m scared of what is to come home with him.

Sometimes if I need something I just can’t get and I ask him, he either says no, or, another day Mum which results in not at all, but this morning in passing as we are like ships in the night, I just happened to say that his Dad is going to buy a Christmas jumper for work this year. Oh, my, what did I do?

 

He went to see Shamrock and sent me a text saying that he has bought Hub a Christmas jumper that will make me howl. It’s a term to say laugh… I’m not hopefully going to turn into a werewolf.

I don’t think I am.

Having said that.

Em!

 

I’m not sure Hub will be pleased with our boys enthusiasm to buy him a jumper. Especially if only Hub knew just what kind of jumper he was planning this morning until I intervened saying no Son, your Dad is a manager and he can’t be too naughty… Well, on that note, I thought I kind of put Boy Wonder off buying anything without Hub being there… Obviously not, so what on earth is coming home in a bag tonight? My Son is such a prankster.

 

Tomorrow I’m off to buy paint. Should be interesting after when I went to buy it for my new kitchen and the guy in the shop said he wasn’t allowed to advise me. I was so annoyed about that. So, I would have put my signature on a paper to say if my walls come out a really bad colour, I wouldn’t sue them, but that wasn’t an option.

 

I’m going to get the landing painted. What colour? Not sure as my curtains are red. I have a vase on my windowsill on the landing as it’s a large window with red silk roses in it and a couple of glass ornaments with red in them. So, something to go with red. Not grey though, because my carpet is kind of a caramel colour and that is the colour I am thinking about putting on the walls. Right now, I have a milky cup of tea. Smile. Those of you who remember when I got my kitchen paint I said I was after the colour of a dish of canned oranges in a dish with cream poured over the top. So, a hint of orange. What did I get? Well, some say peach, some say apricot, some say a yellow nectarine. And one person has said orange. I have had all kinds of fruit on my walls I always describe the paint in food colours, that is the way I remember colours. For example, in my bathroom, I have the colour of Granny Smith apples. Haha. My bedroom is dark apricot on the bottom the top is light apricot. I wanted mushroom for my office but it turned out beige with a hint of pink. Odd? I thought so.

 

So, my friend and our Blogget, from America who had open heart surgery a month ago is still recovering. Bless her I can’t wait until she is fit again and I bet she can’t either. She is walking on a frame right now.

 

 my lady who walks our dogs fell very ill whilst out the other day. Not with our dogs but her own. Bless her it was awful. She called me she sounded really bad and she was trying to walk to the carpark where her friend was on her way to pick her up. I spent five minutes trying to persuade her to go straight to the hospital when her friend came for her as that wasn’t the intention of her or, her friend. She said she couldn’t walk properly she was bent double and her heart was going crazy. She said she felt so odd and wasn’t sure where she was now. oh my, I was so worried. I kept on the phone until she reached the carpark. Then she called me that night saying her friend did take her to the hospital. She was given medicine had tests too. And was out the next day. Shocking as she lives on her own, she is in her mid-seventies too. But that is our hospitals. It was a blood clot to her hart I hope she will still be able to spend Christmas with her Son in New Zeeland? She will know in two weeks. And finally, my lovely friend and our wonderful Blogget from South Africa, has her birthday tomorrow. She emails me and I love her words. I’m hungry for them all the time. Gosh, she writes so well, she is so intelligent. She paints pictures with her words and my insides race when I know I have an email from her as in her words, I’m transported to another world. She could write the telephone book and I wouldn’t be able to put it down.

 

A very happy birthday my Dear much loved Louise.

 

Inspired by my friends and again our Bloggets, from a blog I wrote a few days ago, I would like to talk about those of us who were diagnosed with an eye disease and was told we would end up blind. I have written before how in my world blindness wasn’t an option, but each night my pillow would tell that story differently.

 

 So, you have sight, enough even to drive, you can see small print and for sure your loved one’s face, at least the outline of them. How will you feel knowing that one day, you won’t be able to see?

Anything, nothing at all.

 

Well most people I know of spend the next three years, ten years even forty, dwelling on this and mourning the loss of something that you haven’t lost yet.

 

I wish when I could see I took every day and embraced it rather than spending my time worrying about how I would cope in a world without sight.

 

Every person copes with sight loss differently. Most go into a very deep depression and can never get out of it totally. It’s a cutting sadness and fear that I personally felt and still do whenever I’m out walking just me and my beautiful little guide dog, I go through the motions of knowing where I am to go it’s that map in my head that my mobility instructor taught me. Or, what my Husband and I have taught ourselves. It’s a time when I hope, my dog will remember her map as she too has been taught the same route. But, then I think, oh, my what on earth am I doing out here, among traffic, steps things to bump into if me or my dog gets one small movement wrong? Then panic hits me like a hammer to the head and a kick from a heavy horse to my stomach, then my insides sink, I shake, I have to recover. I have to control my breathing. And I do, I sometimes ask for my angels to walk with me and do you know what, they do. I get home safely most times, and few. A huge sigh. I did it, we did it little girl, a treat for Waggatail and a coffee and something sweet for me. And the rest of the day, I’m physically pooped. But we did it. All those years that was an impossible thought. Never ever would I be able to walk without a human. Never. But I do. If only all those years I knew this information, gosh, who knows, I may have more life in me and less chance of developing ulcers. More time to live, rather than worrying, crying, stressing.

 

When I first went blind remember without much notice other than the Doctors cruel callas way I was diagnosed at four, telling me  I could have months with sight or a few years, my world changed. I didn’t really at that point understand blindness. All I knew was, my Mum started to cry and she phoned relatives to say she had the worst news to tell them. There was a coolness in the air that day that never left me. This is why I encourage parents with children who have been given such news to not show them how afraid of what may happen to them. Once your children know they have such a condition, even if it is killing you, please keep those thoughts away from your child just long enough for them to learn to live with their news and get strong enough to be able to handle your grief on their little shoulders.

 

So Bloggets, if you have sight, prepare yourselves for if, you ever become blind. But please live every day as you may have so many years of the sight you have now or, you may have a few months, if you have years, and you grieve and stress until that dreaded day comes, all those years could have been spend enjoying what you have to the full. Be grateful for what you have. But if you only have a few months with vision, still obviously prepare yourself but still spend the next few months taking in everything, the face of your love and your children, flowers, your pets colours remember them as they will come in handy later on. For example, when you want to match clothes or decorate your house. You may be thinking, what is the point of colour in a blind world, wow, there is so much point. How depressing for your children, Grandchildren, friends Husband if you marry a sighted person like I did with my first Husband, just because you can’t see, doesn’t mean your family should live in a grey world or brown. Get those scatter cushions out and make sure they are bright and make your house a happy looking home. If you know you have pretty colours around you, I promise it will make you feel better.

 

 At first when you lose your vision, you will I am sure go into a dreadful place but I promise you will be alright. Most people I know it took them a year, some a few years, me,, it took me so many years but I wasn’t prepared I didn’t expect to lose my sight overnight not from having really good sight I thought it would go slowly. No, it went so fast I couldn’t catch it but when I had it, I blocked it out. I put it on a shelf and gave my attention to the days when I wouldn’t have it. Crazy, right? I have been blind now for twenty years. I hate it, but I laugh, I really do and I have a life though it’s so different to what I used to have in the respect I can’t see from my eyes but I see from my heart I take no rubbish from anyone now I know my stuff and I get further now than I did back then as back then no way I would go out at night time as  I couldn’t see very well if at all in the dark, now if I need to go out at night? It’s the same as during the day for me only colder and colder as in temperature not in my heart. It’s the best feeling to walk somewhere in the dark you know, I smile as I am walking thinking to myself, I can do this now, I couldn’t before.

 

You will be afraid you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t. but it can be less scary if you prepare yourself and know that blindness is just a different way of living. There are things you can’t do, like my Son tonight is going to a Christmas market. Oh, I would love to do that, but Hub and I can’t sadly. This does hurt me every year at this time, but hey, there is always on-line shopping and OK, it’s not half as good as you can’t enjoy the Christmas atmosphere, but you may have family or friends who will take you to the markets for example. Hub and I love shopping and if I could see we would love to browse in the shops, but again we can’t but it may be different for you, you may have family who will be kind enough to want to be with you whilst you shop, not as a duty but because it’s your company that they may enjoy.

    

If you are reading this blog without a screen reader, be happy, if you have to use some kind of magnifier but still can see enough to see your face in the mirror, enjoy every wrinkle, smile. You have a gift that I can only dream of, but you know what? The happiest day of my life was the day I married my now and forever Husband. And, both of us are blind. It was the most perfect day a dream that came true. My first love from school was about to be my Husband. I had waited for him for 28 years. He melted my heart as he said I did his, so our melted hearts are as one and were remoulded and now we share the same love and my Husband and I see the world in a totally different way together.

 

I have written before about how you can prepare yourself for if the day may come and you do lose your sight, but I shall write another blog on this subject within the next few days. And remember, it may never happen, but if it does, be prepared. If it never happens, and you never need to use your skills, then what have you lost? Not your sight that’s for sure. Wake up tomorrow, appreciate everything don’t waist your time by worrying about something that may never happen and if it does, you will be ready to own it.

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

  

 

 

 

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