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Friday, 17 November 2017

A MESSY DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Hello Bloggets. I know this blog is going to get interrupted. Oh, what a month. Firstly, our washing machine started to make dreadful sounds but after we tried to put the round wire back inside of it, and failed, our Son managed to kind of fix it though it’s totally not right. Then, oven stopped working, Hub was convinced that it was broke for good, took its final breath of hot air but I was equally convinced that we had just knocked the timer button. Well we switched it off put it back on, twiddled and pushed. Still nothing the flat screen syndrome. Means nothing to us. It was a long wait until our boy came home from work.  at last, he did and he pushed the buttons and read what it said then pushed another button and the oven came on. It was on lock. Then to get it off lock? He asked Hub to bring the manual down. Well, poor Hub disorganised as me, went to where we keep all of our paperwork for the kitchen, but fifty four bits of paper are a bit of a challenge. Now, he should have Brailed on them or used our fantastic Penfriend, which records and talks when you put the end on the paper provided. But no, he just collected all the paperwork from everything to do with our new kitchen and put it all in a drawer. Thank goodness that Boy Wonder managed to fix it before Hub presented him with the papers.

 

Everything can talk so designers, why not get ovens to talk? I know we can pay an absolute fortune and get talking microwaves, so why not ovens?

 

Then today we noticed the freezer was totally defrosted and we have over £200 worth of food in there. Long and short of it, I got into trouble. All my fault because I over shop. So, I blocked the ice. Now Hub is removing everything putting all the food in different bags so we know what is what, as long as we remember where we put the bags and in what order?

Totally defrosting it and start again. This is what is suggested on line.

 

As for the food? Well I am going to have to cook most of it as I can’t refreeze it. The rest will have to go in the bin. We are not claiming on insurance because our premium would go up a huge amount.

 

So, a washing machine, oven and now freezer. Two out of three sight was required I wish it was that easy for our freezer, but so far not so good. Hub is in there right now trying to fix it… I’m keeping out of the way, it won’t be pretty. Haha.

 

I started this blog saying it’s going to be interrupted, oh, it has been firstly by the men coming to fit our internet. A company who I must say so far have been first class. We can’t fault them. But there’s time. I only have experience from twenty years ago when my Mum died I tried to stop her phone line and this company were a nightmare. They kept saying they needed to talk with her… I kept saying she has died, and many other ways of saying she wasn’t here any longer. But they didn’t understand English well and after four months and so many different people eventually we got it stopped. But it’s half the price to what we are paying now so we have to give them a chance and so far, as I say, they have been brilliant.

 

I have had delivery men at the door and stopped writing to make dinner, then serve it and eat. Smile.

Phone calls and tonight the broken freezer. Since I wrote the above, I braved it and went to help my love who was totally stressed out over this freezer. Reluctantly I went into the kitchen. Long and short of it is, firstly I’m so cross with myself as I have broken the inside of the door. A couple of weeks ago I lifted the top flap up walked away to fill the ice tray totally forgot to close the flap closed the door and thought I had snapped the corner of the flap off. Nope, only tonight I realised Ide actually put a hole in the door. Not the outside thanks God.

 

Long and short of it again, I think I have fixed the freezer.    

 How Fifi? I hear you shouting…

Goodness knows, I pressed some buttons, and turned a dial then told Hub to put the drawers back in as there was no sound of the motor at all and I just thought, maybe you won’t hear it until the drawers are all in.

 At least I can hear the motor now. But, will it freeze to the top? As this morning it was frozen until the top flap. So, tomorrow, it may be the same, but I guess it’s better than what it was before without any sound what so ever. I fear we have to get someone out. It’s under guarantee but you are supposed to fill in something on line that is impossible if you are using a screen reader.

Sham has come around and they ordered a Pizza. They are now watching TV but BW is up early tomorrow again so I hope he will be able to get some sort of sleep. Sham has worked all day again she has put in so many hours this week.

 

At this point I’m thinking, should I publish this very messy blog? It’s so all over the place, I’m getting loads of texts coming in on my iPhone and messages from social media groups, and hungry people as well as the dogs, there must be something in the air as everyone but Hub seems to be hungry tonight… Hub is eating like a sparrow.

 

He keeps talking about growing a beard. I keep telling him he will look like a skunk. As he is very dark but he is going grey so, his beard will be black and grey, yack, no thank you.

 

Oh, what was I going to tell you? Remember I asked you to remind me? Well, you haven’t so far… so let me think?

 

Oh, yes, letting people down. Well, it’s not that exciting really, but it’s not nice. My Husband wanted me to do something. He sent me a link via email and I was to contact these people and arrange for me to hopefully have an interview and pass all that was necessary and start this place working through the nights. Not every night just one per week and may be a day job too. Well, if it was a case where I went for the interview one to one or even two talking with me that is fine, but there were a lot of people and it would end up where there would be group activity to see who would be most suitable. I just couldn’t bring myself to do this. I know I can do what the end result was and do it so well, Hub and our friend have been trying to get me to do this for a couple of years, but I just don’t mix with people too well and couldn’t face group activities. The thought of that made me feel sick. So, Hub was working in Scotland and I was to call these people and Hub hoped that I would be asked to go along for the first stages. That was the plan. For Hub…

 

 I wanted to do it, I have wanted to do this for years. But when I learned of the people performances, nope. I can stand up and give talks to so many people full schools, prisons, offices, dinner parties and huge groups of people, but that is me doing me. Not me interacting with others letting them try to take control of my driving wheel. Am I making sense?

 

It’s late now again near the pumpkin hour I have been awake since six this morning and didn’t get to sleep until after half two. So, I’m tired.

 

Anyway, when Hub learned that I hadn’t applied myself, he was furious. So, I let him down but moreover I guess I let myself down. I just don’t want to step out of my comfort zone, not really. Though I know if I had done it, I would be so proud of myself and be really happy, but I didn’t I failed again.

 

It made me feel so bad. And worthless. I felt ashamed, hurt and hated myself so much. But it’s done. I just wish I had a bit more get up and go. I just don’t like the idea that I will have to explain that I can’t see and I may need some tech to help me do what I do. And last year I had a real blow to my confidence so it didn’t take much to send it back where it has been for so many years to remember, and I feel if I don’t put myself out there, I won’t get damaged. Again, I’m making no sense, so shall I quit whilst I’m ahead? Or shall I delete every word I have written?

 

I guess if you have read this far, I published it.

 

I am asking again as it’s this time of year once more, for you to email me or contact me through Google plus or through my blog in whatever way you know of, to let me know which has been your favourite blog of 2017?  Like last year which ever blogs get the most votes, I shall re publish and possibly give reasons why you wanted that particular blog to be shown again. So, a poem, some facts or just a diary entry. If there is a blog that touched you, made you laugh or you found informative, please let me know I won’t use your names of course, but contact me either by the ways I suggested or email me at


 

 

if I were to do one of my worst blogs I think it would be this one. My head is spinning right now like water going down a bath drain!

 

So, I conclude my blog by asking you how do you feel now if you have let someone down, but more so, yourself?

 

And I shall go for now, try to sleep and hopefully wake up tomorrow with a head full of inspiration… oh, and a frozen freezer.

 

 

 

 

 

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