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Saturday, 25 November 2017

MY CHRISTMAS DIARY (TOO FUNNY) BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Good evening Bloggets. I hope you are all well?  I’ve just got in it’s dark out there freezing cold and a cup of hot coffee has gone down a treat. I went with Wagga out a little scared in case it was icy we don’t know if it’s icy until sometimes it’s too late.  Sometimes there is no ice in our drive but once on the path especially when we are walking under shady areas it’s not had any sun so stays Icey all day. I hate that. Though I love the winter. I put on my warm long coat it’s not attractive it’s a proper coat for if it rains and it’s so warm. But it was dark and no one could see me, haha, right? Wagga just loves going out and she wagged her way around to the shops. Hub stayed at home as we are waiting again for parcels for Christmas.

 

This afternoon we put up most of our outside decorations. Our darling neighbours came out and in his lovely Indian accent he told me everything looked very pretty. They are the sweetest neighbours. I wish if we moved we could move them with us.

 

Well the large penguin I bought? My old Bloggets who have been reading my blogs for some Christmases now will know every year I have a story to tell about our decorations. Last year took some beating just for those who haven’t read it, in short, He was my teen at the time, now Boy Wonder as he’s now twenty, came home from work. It was late dark and Icey cold again. There was me with the biggest smile on my face as seriously Hub is the grumpiest person when we are putting outdoor stuff out, though this year he has been OK. So far… More later on that… anyway, as our Son pulled in the drive, we just heard him say.

“Oh guys, oh, my God, oh, no’oo’oo’oo!!! You can’t? “We just said, we can and we have.

 

As Hub was on the ground with an inflatable nut cracker towering above him, trying to stuff it with a large empty milk bottle filled now with water, let’s just say it looked, well, inappropriate…

Whilst our boy was cringing with embarrassment, at the same time he was taking photographs I just imagined the scene. The nut cracker had a big cheesy smile on his face with a moustache painted on his face… And Hub shoving a large bottle up his derriere!

The nutcrackers bottom, not Hubs…

Well to on lookers, the nutcracker looked as if he was happy…

 

One of the young lads went by when we came in the house I was at the window putting our lights on our indoor tree and all I heard was a laughter coming from outside. When I went out to look, the moustache wearing guy was on his back looking as if he had a sherry too many.

 

Well this year we have a Santa climbing up a rope ladder and he looks as if he has had too much of life and had to end it all… He’s just hanging there. Swinging in the wind… but, his hat keeps coming off and obviously it’s not meant to so you should see his head? Hahahahahahhahaha.

 Well, how can I describe it? Tacky? Yep, that’s what it is. Oh, but it gets better… My Son and I went out to buy a large decoration and he told me there were some great penguins. So, I bought one in its box. Brought it home and Hub and I fixed it together today… I kept saying as Hub was dealing with things on the ground level, (No bottle in sight this year.)

“Gosh, it’s beak is a bit on the long side?”” Hub asked what did I mean? I said, well it’s huge and floppy just hanging there… As we positioned it with long beak facing the front of the garden, I then realised that he had in fact two beaks?

Surely not, penguins don’t have two beaks… hahahaha. Nope, well this is BW’s fault as our penguin let’s say, isn’t a penguin… I am guessing he’s a snowman. As he has a scarf and a hat. No beak in sight. So, what I thought was a beak, in fact is his arms.

I think? I’m slightly worried.

Boy Wonder isn’t home for hours.

 

 We put up our bells that light up, hopefully this year we haven’t got the dongs dingging upside down like we did a couple of years ago…

 

We try. Let’s see what Boy  Wonder thinks when he comes home. Goodness knows what the heckers we have done out there but we laughed and that is what life should involve, plenty of laughter… I have a rounded shrub at the side of my house with red lights in and a red wire going around the trunk of my apple tree that lights up in the same colour.

  Our neighbours have said before, it’s very strange that two blind people do so many lights… I simply love it.

 

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