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Monday, 20 October 2014

FIFI FIGHTING THROUGH THE FOG


Good morning to our Bloggets today from Slovakia, China, Australia, Germany, Canada, UK and US, Belgium and more. It’s great to see you all here. When I first started this blog page two years ago, I really thought perhaps a few of my friends would take a look and not return. Bless them they looked and came back and I’m pleased to say, they are still my faithful Bloggets and joining them are all of you and how proud I am to say that we have reached well over 60,000 views. It’s almost crazy? I keep thinking how? Why? But it’s great and as I keep saying, God only knows why this blog is still going? I mean you have seen my life turn upside down whether in words of a story/blog or a poem and you have been to the shops with me, church, and Doctors concerts and even in my garden not to mention when we got decorated? Oh remember back then? I was so anxious what the heck we were putting on our walls, but I picked our wallpaper and I am delighted with it. Now the cream with gold embossment looks in my mind and according to my friends, really well as specially as I have now stained the fireplace shiny black to match our piano and black leather sofa’s. I have two alcoves and they are so slim, but I got a great joiner to make really lovely shelves in there so I can put all of my Beatrix Potter ornaments, fairies, angels and elephants on there. I love them. I also have a black Ceiling light fitting too, and a wall light, oh heck, the wall light? Well, em, that was a kind of blind moment, or should I say blonde moment. I just didn’t think. Basically there was a wall light on the fire breast wall when we moved in. Oh it was hideous. It was rusty, not joking, it was a picture light. So Fifi thought, OK, take it off, not me personally, but my electrician. OK, I’m not that daft to mess with wires… So take it off and I was happy with the one I bought to replace the old one. I handed it over with pride as I managed to find a wall light shaped like a candle, but it was cream, with gold? Get me? To match my wallpaper. Well, forgetting that it was a picture light I had before. My new wall paper, so no knew holes could be put on my walls, Have you either guessed or remembered? Well the electrician told me if he put it up the right way, the bulb would be kissing the Ceiling. So I had to have the candle looking drunk. Well, upside down, oh it looks in my mind stupid. But it was so difficult to get this one on line; I really dare not do it again, also what a waste of money? The rest of the room looks lovely though. Thank God I used to be able to see enough to remember things in my mind. So it’s odd, I look to my fireplace and see the black glossy frame around the white marble and I see the cushions on my sofa looking really lovely, cream against the black… Now what I may not see is the blooming dog hairs on the cream cushions, as naughty Wagga climbs on the sofa when I am not in the room.  Oh well, I guess her black hair matches the sofa? Hehehe.

All of my pictures but one is gold frames and the one that isn’t is my tiger huge picture that is a black shiny frame, really thick and has my beautiful white tiger looking at our huge wedding photo on the opposite wall, the fire breast wall. That was the happiest day of my life.

Oh though I would give anything to just wake up in the morning and see a different view? My eyes hurt as I stare and really think that there is a block and if I really believe that I can see, I will? The most promising future we have so far is to see day and night and shadows as well as shapes. Well, of course that will help, but still no colour, no features, no reading letters/birthday greetings or just being able to go out of the house and shop for things like home goods?

But I still have to live in hope that the shadows will lead to shapes and therefor features and small print. I wonder if it’s money or brain power that is stopping the process from being a little speedier.

Still my mind’s eye goes on, though sometimes I do get it wrong. But when I get it right and my friends tell me in disbelief how good my house looks, I feel so proud and pride is something of late I have been struggling with.

 

Oh Heck, my canary is making it really difficult to hear my computer. He is Irish you know? Haha. I love him.

We are forecast storms today in the UK.

The calm before the storm as at the weekend, well Saturday, it was so mild and warm. As for yesterday? Oh God. I went to the shop with Wagga. A total nightmare. It was really windy. Never again will I go out on a Sunday or when it’s windy. As three times now when Wags and I have had our worst adventures, it’s either been so windy I can’t see/hear/blind persons fog I call the wind. Or, Sunday, no people around to ask for help.

So yesterday a double up. Wind and Sunday. We got totally lost. Just by not turning right when she should have. All because she is a sniffer. I tell you she should have been a police dog. Though she is soft, gentle and timid, she sniffs for England. So when I thought we should have turned right, I told her, she sniffed so much. I couldn’t move her, so I thought she isn’t moving because it’s not time to turn yet and she sniffs when she gets anxious too. Haha, imagine humans, if when we get anxious we just stop, and sniff the ground? Oh heck, that’s another story for another blog, though I’m sure I have written about it before. I have written almost eighteen hundred blogs, so if I repeat just give me a nudge?

So Ok, I got it wrong so I said the words hop hop … Meaning move on a bit faster, though faster than stop?

We walked, and then I couldn’t feel any trees on my right. I thought heck there is nothing but air to my right. Normally the air is muffled by trees. Oh I was scared as on my left is a huge step onto our really busy road, where the traffic stops for no one.

 

So, I kept saying to Wags, turn right. She did and as I walked down the track, I really thought there were too many leaves beneath my feet. Also the path was thinner? I told her to turn left as that would be the way we went to the shop? She did. We walked up a steep tactile path and she led me to a door. Oh God, where were we? Not our shops for sure. I stopped. Tried to hear. Tried to see. I mean, I have been blind for 16 years, and I still believe/hope I can really still see? Well, there was nothing in front of me but dirty brown and grey. No shadows to give me a clue or nothing.

 

My heart was pounding and I began to talk to myself in my head…

 Don’t worry Bloggets, not out allowed.

“OK Fiona, where are you? Try to think? Obviously you have gone past your turn. So what’s after that? What can I hear? The road is still where I could get to, so should I go back to that and reverse my steps?”

Well, I possibly should have done, but I was so terrified to go onto the main road. The cars and lorry’s are never ending there is never a break through the day.

I had told myself that this was the doctors, but a totally different route to what I have been taught, Hmm. A better way in so many ways, half the time for sure. Interesting, very interesting and one for thought.

But what to do now? Well I went back down the tactile path, thank God for that so I knew where I had to go. Then where though? Oh God it was awful. I heard cars, so that would be the cars in the car park. I followed the sound walking so slowly. Then I realised I was in the middle of a really big car park. No people just a few cars in the distance. The roaring from the cars on my right from the road was deafening. So I had the cars from the car park that was a kind of silent murmur in the distance, the banging roaring clunking sounds from the road and the wild wind. My long hair was covering my face and the bag I took to the shops was ready for take off. Making my dog nervous

I found myself in the middle of concrete. It was set though, so I was OK, right? So I had to find a path. When I asked Wagga to do so, she went reluctantly to a leafy pathway it was soil basically, so not a path, so I stuck to that kerb and followed it around as far as it went. Then I told Wagga to find the door. OK, we were miles away from any door, but she is a great door finder, perhaps because she is a “Labrador?”

OK, be sensible Fifi

Well next thing, we were on a road. Oh heck I now felt sick. I can’t even imagine what my features were like? I just wanted to cry. I was so afraid. When I get like this, I don’t think straight.

I kept telling her to find the door. She felt in her harness as though she had seen a door. Oh thank God, I felt warmth from a building line. Now someone’s house? Who knows? Then the best thing happened. Wagga walked me into Louis’s restaurant. Oh quick, get out before he comes running, I’m not in the mood to be happy Fi. So, I knew where to go from then on. Back home and no biscuit for Wagga, though that punishment didn’t last long, as we did get back and I am alive. If I had a stick, no way I could have done that, OK I may not have got lost in the first place, but if I had, then my cane can’t find doors and whilst it can’t sniff, it can get stuck in mud or drains, then you look like you are fighting with spaghetti. As the elastic gets longer and longer between the plastic sections of the cane.

 

So back home. Few double few. That was enough for one weekend thank you?

P.S. My friend Terry reminded me I didn’t tell you what the almond breeze was in my shopping? I thought it was an air freshener. No, it was artificial milk. Made from almonds and like I said to her, no, I didn’t spray it around my room… x

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