I have spent the day dusting. Oh, my, I have too many ornaments
but the thing is, I love them all and can’t imagine parting with any of them. I
really don’t know what is wrong with me possibly it is some kind of disease?
Every time I hold a precious ornament, I feel the thoughts of when I received
it or bought it. I can almost recall every second of the purchase or memory of
a gift. I have things that were my Mums, my Mum bought me some of the ornaments
and I bought some in Russia and for me those are memories I can never forget. Such
mixed emotions. There are things that my Son bought me as a child and I’m not
talking inexpensive ornaments either, bless him, he never had much money he
used to get it for his birthday from my friend and he always kept it and used
it for me when it came to Christmas or birthday as he knew as a small boy, my
parents weren’t there and my ex didn’t bother, so in his mind he took on such a
responsibility for such young shoulders.
I do envy those who don’t have many as life must be easier, I
don’t envy those who have none as to me that is a cold house, and lacks soul. Ornaments
are like old clocks they have history and live on after others have past. So,
this can be sad, I’m not saying it’s a good thing, but surely if you have
memories of good people, kind people, and something physical that represents
them, that live on in your house?
But then it comes to dusting and when you can’t see, it’s more
of a challenge than I often like. But because I know where every single one is
I manage. But, I really do have too many. I mean, 37 elephants in one room?
Eleven bears. So, many angels and fairies as well as Pegasus and all of my blue
and white china, bronze and lacquered hand painted boxes from Russia and Japan.
And that is just in my sitting room!
Onwards to the conservatory. Oh, my, goodness…. My conservatory
is 17 feet long. 5.2 metres roughly. All one long windowsill as the door is on
the side. All that windowsill of ornaments. Oh, that’s a daunting prospect.
I’m determined to get it all finished for tomorrow. Yes,
tomorrow, not a day I’m looking forward to… and then a busy day Tuesday when we
have friends coming and the visits continue throughout the week as our friend
from London is coming on Thursday that will be a day of planning something for
my Son’s birthday this year. I need him a special gift and getting it may prove
to be of some difficulty, but hopefully with my imagination and my friend’s eyesight,
we can be a team. Having said that, she may be too tired as it’s going to be a
long day for her. Dropping her Grandchildren off at Newcastle and then on to
see us. What I have in mind for my Son, my Husband isn’t so keen. He wants me
to get something else… it will be his 21st, and that is a special
birthday. So, deserves something that he will keep forever. Hub wanted also to
hand down a tankard he received when he was 21. Such a lovely thought. Kind of
Father to Son. Bless him. It’s a big birthday for Hub this year and me too… so,
three in a row. All of us are of an age…
I said this year will be big and some event will change
everything, and this year so far has proven that to be true. And I believe
there is even bigger to come.
Personally, speaking so far 2018 has been one of truths and Facing
reality and beyond. Shocks have tried to shake me into action but I have handed
this over to fate. As far as my beliefs, they also have had some challenges and
I’m struggling with what is there and what has been some kind of allusion, I can
still recall years gone by when I needed help, when life was impossible, when I
received the answers I needed, and those answers for all kinds of different
questions are not getting answered these days, but still at least some weeks
ago I witnessed once again old Father Fait and was given hope, only for that
hope to stagnate and for a shock to be delivered to me last week that I’m
finding rather difficult to face.
It’s thanks to a very close friend who I have only known for
two years, but that lady means so much to me and I have spoken with her and
with her wisdom I will get through this. My answer for this situation will be
known I hope well, at least it will become clearer by next Monday. When I tell
you the story, I doubt you will understand the full depth of the pain it’s
caused me, but I shall try to get you to understand a little just what the
outcome may I hope not the outcome that has been predicted, but whatever, will
be explained and I hope with a happy ending.
Confused? This is why I haven’t written much of late, but
hey, such is life.
My love has taken all week off. So, for my birthday firstly
then our friends coming. He may have to go away for a day to support a friend,
but we shall see, our friend may be OK, but if not, then Hub will help out.
Sham has just come and gone upstairs to BW’s room normally
she stops for a chat, but they are planning something. Possibly a holiday for
the two of them.
It’s bitter cold today in fact it snowed a little. Thankfully
I’m fortunate to be in a warm house. I thank God every day for that luxury.
Oh, let me tell you we sold our exercise bike today. Well, I
would love to tell you that story in full, but the politically correct Police
will be on patrol if I did. But stay in touch, and I may give you sneaky
snippets throughout the next few days!
As a lot of my Bloggets have commented on, there is a lot of
reading in between the lines on my blogs. And more to come.
Throughout the past four years, you and I have laughed,
cried, had to think about life, decide and look forward to whatever. My blog is titled Inspirational Diary, and to
inspire, I must be inspired and for now, I’m trying to find that needle in the
haystack!
Life right now, this moment, my clocks are Newley wound up
today, all ticking and chiming. I have a candle burning the house smells
lovely. Hub is watching a program/drama on BBC 1 called McMafia, for me it’s
too close to when I spent time in Russia, too close to the dark days of the old
Soviet Union, but Hub loves it. In between writing and chatting with you, I’m
also on messenger talking with a friend who is going through a really bad, sad
time right now and my phone rang a couple of moments ago another pal wanted
some advice and serious advice, but I, still write smile… in between. Everything
right now is, in between. And I hope to enlighten you about fifty per cent of
everything soon. If I’m gifted the chance to do so.
Until later, hang in there and if you are in between, well, I
hope you find the answer soon and the strength to go either one side or, the
other.
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