I was married to my ex for 23 years. I could see when we
met. I had 35 % sight in one eye and 27% in the other.
I’m sure others outside our house thought my ex did
everything for me. Well, I’m about to tell the story of marriage with a sighted
husband and life with my now blind husband.
Not going into the personal life with either man, I can tell
you my ex worked dam hard for a living. Harder than any of his six brothers and
certainly harder than his sister.
There was a time when he had three jobs. His family I
am sure thought his three jobs was to
keep me in a lifestyle I was accustom to, but the truth is, his family were
happy with a simple life of living in a rough area, as I was never used to living
in such a way, why should I have started when I married?
My ex worked hard because of many reasons, apart from being
a work a holic, he liked his money and he also enjoyed living in a nice house
and again, why shouldn’t he? He had rubbish all of his life before me, povity should have been his middle
name, and not because his family had no choice, as his Mother had seven
children, you don’t do that if you can’t afford kids, well, you shouldn’t in my
opinion.
They were all happy never going on nice holidays and having
cars that you needed to push home or even to jump start before going places.
They were happy with second hand clothes and thieving for life.
My ex was the most honest out of all of them.
He liked his five star holidays and his lovely houses we had
together.
Everything we had we paid for with honest money.
My ex was so different to the rest of them.
My role in our life?
To cook from seventeen and clean, and when I say clean, I
mean everything.
Yes I had little sight, but my house was cleaner than any of
my sighted friends.
I never went out on my own, I adapted to the cowardly
lifestyle I was shown and learned to have
My ex didn’t come in once to an empty plate and I even used
to run his bath for him. I never minded as this was my job, but the job that
was never seen by others who were rather too quick to comment on how hard my ex
had for a life.
I ironed and did all the washing as well as dealt
with the bills like home insurance as well as car insurance. I was my ex’s
teacher, lover wife best friend confidant nurse cook and cleaner and when my
Son came along, I was a full time Mum and nanny
Of course as well as all of the rest of the jobs I silently
did.
Then when our beautiful and much wanted and loved Son was
born, death happened.
My ex loved my parents as his own and they loved him too.
We were a very close family.
My ex did so much for my parents and was the best Son in law
ever.
Despite our personal life, this was how it was. My parents
both died just months after I woke up totally blind.
My ex was devastated. I was at the end of life. All within
six months, I lost my sight and both my parents died.
I had a one year old baby to care for and my Husband. He had
me to care for as I was suicidal.
Though we suffered, my ex continued working and I continued
living a hell of a life.
Times changed so very much. I found it almost impossible to
prepare the formula for my baby and change his nappy’s as well as teach play
and be a Mother.
But I did. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.
What did my ex do? He worked; he read every letter and bill,
paying the bills with some help financially from me.
I received benefits and it all went on my Son and heating
electric bills and gifts for my ex’s family. I bought Christmas and birthday
gifts.
If we went on holiday, I paid for a lot of it too.
As did he.
The letter box would clatter and I would know there was a
letter, I would pick it up, it was invisible to me and leave it on the table
for my ex to read at night when he got in.
He would read the food to me so I could prepare for him
coming in on the morning or the night before actually cooking it.
If I needed to wash windows, I would ask him before work,
what the right bottle was?
Clothes, he would help me to sort out colours.
He was fantastic taking me shopping.
He could drive too.
He would say if there was a mark on the wall or carpet.
He could see. I lived without sight in a sighted world.
Perfect almost right?
Not quite, as he and I divorced.
Then my dream man walked into my life
The 12th of February 2009, my now Husband walked
through my front door right into my heart.
He as you may know is blind and my life now with a Husband
who is blind is totally different, again, forgetting the personal side of it
all, a letter comes through our door now if it’s in print; we are helpless
until my Husband can set up his equipment on his scanner to read the mail. It’s
not at all like someone sighted reading, you get half of the information and it’s
of course not immediate. Can take ten minutes per letter. If we receive five
letters in one morning, it takes an hour to read them all to find out that only
one is of any good. If we could see, it would be a three minute job.
We can’t read the gas meter or electric so have to rely on
others or like what we actually do, pay over until someone from the company
comes out to read the numbers.
What’s in the packaging or tins? Hmm. A guessing game.
Sometimes we get it right and other times? Well, there’s always a stew the next
day!
Unless of course one of the tins is custard?
We are not sure when lights are on or off unless we feel the
heat from them but sometimes table lamps can fool us or the light above the
cooker or bathroom lights, they are too high to reach.
They may be a cobweb
high up, or a mark on the carpet, our glass may have fingerprints on,
but he and I are as one. We are a team and we are in the same zone. Still in a
sighted world, that world is a hard and cold one, but together we are and
forever we will be unless there is a cure? I pray. Then I can go out and be
free from these dam chains which forbid me from living the life I want and
would love to have and experience for the first time in my life, as forever I
have been in this prison, but this time my warden is my disability, and my
Husband is kind and we are very happy together and we understand each other.
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