Good morning Bloggets. Week three now with Hub not working.
I think we can start winding down now, and relaxing as everything is now
official, we have all paperwork in place for starting the new job. So far his
starting date has been confirmed the 5th of May, but we know that
date is a bank holiday in England, so doubt it will be that date, perhaps, the
day after, the 6th? But at least it will be there or there about.
Surviving that long with no wage is rather challenging, but
I’m sure we will be OK. Teen has a driving lesson today, so hopefully this will
be a good day for him? We had a lovely night yesterday watching a great drama
called Jamaican Inn! Pretty gruesome,
but really interesting to see how it was like for smugglers back in our
history. God we were not nice people and the drama for sure went into such
detail how we killed poor people coming into our shores. I guessed the ending
from the start though, but the boys didn’t. I won’t spoil it for you, as I know
you can get this on DVD also book format in Braille so I guess kindle too.
It was great though.
Starting to prepare for
my friends coming from Russia. They come over in May.
So a bed to buy for the little man and sort out a company
who will bring them from Manchester airport to here and make sure that the
place they will be staying will be ready as well as trying to find out what
there is to do for them as a family as there will be four of them. Really can’t
wait to see them as specially my friend and her Son who is my little sweetie,
he is not so little now, much taller than me and a man, but when I first met
him, he was a boy of eight. And the most wonderful child ever. My x and I loved
him so much I was ready to adopt him from day one. Gosh, what a life he has
been through and if only he liked writing, he would make a great autobiography,
but he is my Sons carbon copy. In so many ways. I think Teen is the soul of my
friends Son though my friends soul still is alive and thank God well, but
perhaps he should have been a twin, as so much in the two boys lives are so
similar, down to the fact that they are both so bright and hate doing work that
involves writing or concentrating. Haha. Both handsome and can be very charming
but also quite cruel to their Mums. My friends Son gave me away at mine and
Hubs wedding and the day would not be the same without him. It was the most
wonderful gift having him to hand me to Hub. I just didn’t want anyone else. I’m
sure my brother was offended, but the fact is, my brother as a child was my
brother, sadly from him getting married, he drifted from our family and we lost
our close connection and I hated the way he treat my parents. Having said that,
I still think of him every single day and miss him so much but I know if we were
to meet again, I would be left feeling week and very dark as that is how he used to always make me feel.
I also have a niece who I loved so much and have to forget
the idea I have a brother, also means I have to forget I have her. My heart
does miss and hurt though.
She had a beautiful Husband and baby. I met the child once,
then a couple of years later, I hadn’t seen her or my brother, and we moved
house and that was that. They don’t know where we live. A new start without any
family apart from my adorable mad aunt G.
So my friends are my family and my closest family are only
two people. My Hub and Son. Those two are the most important people in the
world to me. In fact I’m too close to them.
I don’t know if this is because I don’t have any family
left, or perhaps my past, which if you have read my earlier blogs, is not a good
background.
Or because I was born with a very sad and negative gene.
I think this is the answer. From the age of one, I remember
being very protective over my brother. I recalled to my Mum many years ago an incident
what happened to my brother and she said when we lived at that house, I was one
year old. I remember from the age of three being very caring towards animals
and children and to see a child playing in a park or street, even if they towered
above me, I would have a painful lump in my throat thinking they were lost and
as I have written about before when I asked a boy about five when I was four,
if he had lost his Mummy? I asked him to get on his bike and I would push him
home? Haha! Home? Where was that? Well, I walked and walked until the little
boy started to cry. I was so upset as the child was obviously crying as his mum
was lost? Em, no. His blooming Mummy was walking behind us. With my stupid
sight, I saw only him. Perfectly clearly, but nothing around him. So not his
Mum who was with him in the park. I turned as I heard her voice calling his
name, asking him to stop and turn around now as they were getting too far from
home?
I looked at this lady so tall and was so embarrassed. I ran
back home myself. Home? Where was that? I got totally lost. I fell over a scooter
that was lying across the path. Split my eye open and from then on, not sure
how I got home, with my limited sight, but I did. My Mum took me to the local
town hospital and it was there where they refused to treat me because of whom I
was.
At last my Mum found a nurse who helped me but that was not
the ending of nightmares with the medics in the UK.
Two years later when I got sand in my eye, I went to our
local hospital again they wouldn’t see me we went to the next town hospital and
the same. I was Fiona Cummings. I went to Russia against all medics’ advice in
the UK. How could Russia treat me when no other country could? So my Mum ended
up writing to the Queen and a response back with the words that a hospital in
London would see me every six months. Well that was fine, but my parents lived
in Northumberland. So a six hour journey in those days by train. And it turned
out we had to go there four times a year. Before and after every trip to
Russia. I went to Moscow twice a year so six visits for my eyes to hospitals
for my sight in a year. Killed my education and life to be honest. As I have said
before, gave me a totally different life than what I would have had but at the
same time, in reflection, if I were to live my life over again, and it was my
choice, would I pick that path?
I really don’t know, but I do know that if I had let nature
take its route, I would have ended up going to the school in Coventry. This was
a grammar school and the most amazing one at that. It was the partially sighted
school equivalent to Hubs school for the blind.
I had to take an exam to pass for this school. I did but
when I went to visit, I was accepted given my date for starting and then my Mum
told them I would be in Russia on that date. They were shocked at my visits to
the former Soviet Union and said they could only accept me if I was committed
to education and couldn’t be if I was away from school most of the year. See,
in those days you would be talking about three months for Moscow and London in
one year.
If only I went there, I would be someone now. Just like my
Husband. I wouldn’t have married my ex and committed my life to him at seventeen.
I would have still been at school then university then with luck, a job for
life.
A feeling of belonging in society. For those who are blind
or with poor sight, and are able to study now, I would say if you are able to
have an education, please go for it, as without it you are so disadvantaged
If I
hadn’t gone to Russia for treatment, I would not be able to see my baby when he
was born. But I would be more independent. This sounds silly I am sure to those
who are sighted, but if you are taught as a blind person, you learn so much
more than those like me who live as a sighted person to fool the world. As in
the end, you are fooling yourself. Things are so much more difficult.
OK. I’m off on one so must end this hear as it will become a
novel. I just hope for those who have my eye condition, you all prepare for the
worst to happen, don’t be like me with head in sand. Prepare. Learn Braille.
The white cane. Routes and more. I was reading small print in a book one night.
Woke up the next day blind. Lost trapped. Didn’t know what to do.
Don’t visit that world please? Be prepared and then just
wait for our cure. I pray this will happen to set me free.
X
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