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Thursday, 24 April 2014

PART OF MY LIFE


Good morning Bloggets. Week three now with Hub not working. I think we can start winding down now, and relaxing as everything is now official, we have all paperwork in place for starting the new job. So far his starting date has been confirmed the 5th of May, but we know that date is a bank holiday in England, so doubt it will be that date, perhaps, the day after, the 6th? But at least it will be there or there about.

Surviving that long with no wage is rather challenging, but I’m sure we will be OK. Teen has a driving lesson today, so hopefully this will be a good day for him? We had a lovely night yesterday watching a great drama called  Jamaican Inn! Pretty gruesome, but really interesting to see how it was like for smugglers back in our history. God we were not nice people and the drama for sure went into such detail how we killed poor people coming into our shores. I guessed the ending from the start though, but the boys didn’t. I won’t spoil it for you, as I know you can get this on DVD also book format in Braille so I guess kindle too.

It was great though.

 Starting to prepare for my friends coming from Russia. They come over in May.   

So a bed to buy for the little man and sort out a company who will bring them from Manchester airport to here and make sure that the place they will be staying will be ready as well as trying to find out what there is to do for them as a family as there will be four of them. Really can’t wait to see them as specially my friend and her Son who is my little sweetie, he is not so little now, much taller than me and a man, but when I first met him, he was a boy of eight. And the most wonderful child ever. My x and I loved him so much I was ready to adopt him from day one. Gosh, what a life he has been through and if only he liked writing, he would make a great autobiography, but he is my Sons carbon copy. In so many ways. I think Teen is the soul of my friends Son though my friends soul still is alive and thank God well, but perhaps he should have been a twin, as so much in the two boys lives are so similar, down to the fact that they are both so bright and hate doing work that involves writing or concentrating. Haha. Both handsome and can be very charming but also quite cruel to their Mums. My friends Son gave me away at mine and Hubs wedding and the day would not be the same without him. It was the most wonderful gift having him to hand me to Hub. I just didn’t want anyone else. I’m sure my brother was offended, but the fact is, my brother as a child was my brother, sadly from him getting married, he drifted from our family and we lost our close connection and I hated the way he treat my parents. Having said that, I still think of him every single day and miss him so much but I know if we were to meet again, I would be left feeling week and very dark as that is how  he used to always make me feel.

I also have a niece who I loved so much and have to forget the idea I have a brother, also means I have to forget I have her. My heart does miss and hurt though.

She had a beautiful Husband and baby. I met the child once, then a couple of years later, I hadn’t seen her or my brother, and we moved house and that was that. They don’t know where we live. A new start without any family apart from my adorable mad aunt G.

So my friends are my family and my closest family are only two people. My Hub and Son. Those two are the most important people in the world to me. In fact I’m too close to them.

I don’t know if this is because I don’t have any family left, or perhaps my past, which if you have read my earlier blogs, is not a good background.

Or because I was born with a very sad and negative gene.

I think this is the answer. From the age of one, I remember being very protective over my brother. I recalled to my Mum many years ago an incident what happened to my brother and she said when we lived at that house, I was one year old. I remember from the age of three being very caring towards animals and children and to see a child playing in a park or street, even if they towered above me, I would have a painful lump in my throat thinking they were lost and as I have written about before when I asked a boy about five when I was four, if he had lost his Mummy? I asked him to get on his bike and I would push him home? Haha! Home? Where was that? Well, I walked and walked until the little boy started to cry. I was so upset as the child was obviously crying as his mum was lost? Em, no. His blooming Mummy was walking behind us. With my stupid sight, I saw only him. Perfectly clearly, but nothing around him. So not his Mum who was with him in the park. I turned as I heard her voice calling his name, asking him to stop and turn around now as they were getting too far from home?

I looked at this lady so tall and was so embarrassed. I ran back home myself. Home? Where was that? I got totally lost. I fell over a scooter that was lying across the path. Split my eye open and from then on, not sure how I got home, with my limited sight, but I did. My Mum took me to the local town hospital and it was there where they refused to treat me because of whom I was.

At last my Mum found a nurse who helped me but that was not the ending of nightmares with the medics in the UK.

Two years later when I got sand in my eye, I went to our local hospital again they wouldn’t see me we went to the next town hospital and the same. I was Fiona Cummings. I went to Russia against all medics’ advice in the UK. How could Russia treat me when no other country could? So my Mum ended up writing to the Queen and a response back with the words that a hospital in London would see me every six months. Well that was fine, but my parents lived in Northumberland. So a six hour journey in those days by train. And it turned out we had to go there four times a year. Before and after every trip to Russia. I went to Moscow twice a year so six visits for my eyes to hospitals for my sight in a year. Killed my education and life to be honest. As I have said before, gave me a totally different life than what I would have had but at the same time, in reflection, if I were to live my life over again, and it was my choice, would I pick that path?

I really don’t know, but I do know that if I had let nature take its route, I would have ended up going to the school in Coventry. This was a grammar school and the most amazing one at that. It was the partially sighted school equivalent to Hubs school for the blind.

I had to take an exam to pass for this school. I did but when I went to visit, I was accepted given my date for starting and then my Mum told them I would be in Russia on that date. They were shocked at my visits to the former Soviet Union and said they could only accept me if I was committed to education and couldn’t be if I was away from school most of the year. See, in those days you would be talking about three months for Moscow and London in one year.

If only I went there, I would be someone now. Just like my Husband. I wouldn’t have married my ex and committed my life to him at seventeen. I would have still been at school then university then with luck, a job for life.

A feeling of belonging in society. For those who are blind or with poor sight, and are able to study now, I would say if you are able to have an education, please go for it, as without it you are so disadvantaged

   If I hadn’t gone to Russia for treatment, I would not be able to see my baby when he was born. But I would be more independent. This sounds silly I am sure to those who are sighted, but if you are taught as a blind person, you learn so much more than those like me who live as a sighted person to fool the world. As in the end, you are fooling yourself. Things are so much more difficult.

OK. I’m off on one so must end this hear as it will become a novel. I just hope for those who have my eye condition, you all prepare for the worst to happen, don’t be like me with head in sand. Prepare. Learn Braille. The white cane. Routes and more. I was reading small print in a book one night. Woke up the next day blind. Lost trapped. Didn’t know what to do.

Don’t visit that world please? Be prepared and then just wait for our cure. I pray this will happen to set me free.

 

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