TILLI’S TALES
BY FIONA CUMMINGS
(THE FAIRIES HOUSE)
Tilli asked me to take her for a walk in our local woods.
Well, it is the school holidays and what else to do even though it’s wet, in
fact soaking outside. Though my little girl can’t see, she loves the rain. I
guess it’s a kind of weather that she can feel as the drops fall against her forever
smiling face.
So, waterproofs on and wellington boots. I took my umbrella
but it didn’t get as far as the front gate before I ran back to the cottage and
put it back in the hall with a spoke broken in half with the wind.
As soon as our gate closed, the rain stopped and the sun
came out. But still we were prepared if the water was to fall from the sky
again.
Tilli has just started to use a white cane. Though still we
go hand in hand. She laughs as her cane finds the puddles and followed by her
tiny dancing feet.
“Look Mummy, listen to the sounds of the water as it
splashes?” Yep, nice one Tilli, I tell her. I don’t go mad these days never
mind how dirty she will get and if we are on our way to school, well, what
difference will it make if in her school bag are a spare pair of socks and
shoes.
We walk along and she tells me with such pride of the leaves
on the ground, she now knows the difference between leaves and paper. How proud
she is. How proud I am of her.
“There’s a step here Mummy”” she warns me. I smile to myself
as I of course saw it well before she found it with her cane, but I thank her
for telling me and again she is happy as she can learn what is in front of her
without me telling her. We have words like that step is huge or the path is rugged
here. There is a metal fence there and watch out for the car parked on the
path. It’s a whole new way for me to see my daughter telling me just what she
sees what she is able to locate with her white cane.
It wasn’t all happy days though it took a lot for her to be
persuaded to train with a white cane. She was so afraid how her school pals
would react. I explained to her that they would look at her if she bumped into
something or fell. With her cane, there is much less chance of that happening.
Thankfully she got over the shame of being different to her school friends and
even more thankful that her school friends were really excepting to their new
way of life for their little friend. And I think they were so intrigued just
how now Tilli who always had hold of a hand or arm, was able to get around her
school on her own. It may take a bit longer, but she was so independent now.
We get to the gate where you have to climb over. As Tilli
tells me how she can now smell the woods. I ask her what does she mean?
“Especially when it rains Mummy. I love that smell of soil
and green ferns. I love the droplets coming off the trees and wooden seats and
the smell of the wooden picnic table and chairs.
I also love coming here when it rains as there are not so
many people and I can run. It’s really exciting when I run as I feel like a
free horse running away from the stable.””
Tilli stops, she listens to the birds she says they are
singing to her, for her. She goes into a daydream. Another world. She tells me
she wants to visit the fairy garden. I smile an let her go ahead. Her tiny hand
left go of mine and I watch with such thought and care. She finds a gap in the shrubbery
and starts to talk. Not to me. And then she pops out and tells me the story of
the fairies who have told her how clever she is. I asked her to tell me about
the fairies and the place where they live.
“Well it’s always under a bush and the cottage is made from
wood. It has a tiny door they say it’s red. Their garden has mushrooms for
seats and fruits cut in half for plant pots. There are always bluebells around
the garden. I’m far too big Mummy to fit into the fairy house, but the fairies come
out to talk to me.
Oh, they are tiny, they fit in my hand. They are so trusting
as I could squash them, couldn’t I Mummy? But they are so special. You should
see their wings? They feel like foil and they point to the sky. Their clothes
are funny not like ours. They do wear boots and pointy ones too. They have
pointy ears and a pointy nose with round cheeks. Their clothes are as if they
have been blown up like a balloon. Look at the flower they gave me today?””
Tilli gave me a flower that I have never seen before. The
colour was as if from another world. I had never seen the colour it was orange
but not orange as we know it. Each time she visits the fairy house, she brings
a flower that never have I seen, but as soon as we leave the forest, the flower
crumbles and evaporates.
There is a part of me that wants to follow her but another
silly part of me that thinks this is her time and her vision. What if I go to
follow her and her fairies stop coming to her? She is filled with such hope
after a visit to them.
Today they told her she was going to be a very important
person and the world would learn so much from her. She believes them, every
word they say. I have asked her do they speak English? She said no not really,
not like we talk, there isn’t much of a sound comes from them. But she still
hears what they say as if whispers whistling in the wind.
Sometimes I do wonder if the sighted just see what is in
front of them and not beyond. As we walked by the lake the ducklings were out
and wanting food. Tilli told me she would feed the duckling on the right s that
one gets left out. Well, she was right, this particular duckling was on its
own. Gosh, wow, my little girl. She is learning every day, how to live without
sight, but I’m, learning more.
© Fiona Cummings
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