Good afternoon Bloggets. Before I start, a group that was suggested
for me today, wait for this one. Chilliwack creep catchers
I didn’t join.
Well, here I am at
last, it seems as if I have not written much for my blog page today ironically
just after a lovely author wrote to me and said what a prolific writer I am. Haha,
well sadly not this week, well not for my page. I have been writing for so many
others but I have thought about you all.
Yesterday I was out
with my friend and today my Son kindly took me too the pet shop to buy yet
another bed for my dogs. In the shop, it looked enormous. As if for a pony. Got
it home, Waggatail sampled it and it’s huge for her but no way the not so
Little Fella will fit in there too. They have had two different beds so many
times but end up in the same one, so I thought if I buy a massive one, they
will be fine, and I know the LittleFella, curls up into a ball, and I am sure
they will both fit in, but there won’t be much room so I have kept their old
bed too. I would have bought two if there were two. A huge shop with one of these
kinds of beds. I bought them a new toy too. Almost £70 later, I walked out
excited to bring my baby’s things home.
Passing the bank machine,
a lady was panicking because the machine had swallowed her card up. My Boy
Wonder went to her rescue. Thankfully she wasn’t bothered by him pushing
buttons for her, haha, I would be if it were my card, but she was in a right
state. Jumping up and down saying.
“It’s got it, it’s got it.”” BW calmly spoke to her and
thankfully the card reappeared. She was so grateful and relieved. I said that
was nice Son helping that old lady. He replied. No Mum, she was in her
twenties. Oh, my word? No, never. Her voice was as if she had smoked since she
was six months old. My Son said he thought she may have got that voice with
drugs. No wonder she was in a state if she couldn’t get her money?
Out walking yesterday with Waggs, she completely passed the
turn we were meant to take. She hasn’t done that for a year. There was a dog
there though with a man and I wonder if it was because of that she was distracted.
She didn’t go to the dog, just I always wonder if they are biters and I guess
it takes two for a guide dog and partner to work well as my heart was pounding
as we passed this vocal dog, I simply lost track of where I was. Not a good day
for that. But on the way home she was perfect.
My Husband left our home today at half six. He won’t be in
until almost eight tonight. At least he is meeting with a colleague half way
there today. He is going to work by train, quite a distance from home. His colleague
will get on the train after an hour or so and I think Hub was pleased to be
meeting with this guy as they get on well. They are a team for sure. He’s a
really nice person. Hubs not bad too. Smile.
One of the ladies I worked for last year has left and gone
for a new job. She is going to marry too very soon so a big year for her. As
for my Son, guess what my stupid ex suggested today? For him to join the T. A.
For goodness sake. If I had stayed with my ex how would my Son have turned out?
He wouldn’t have done so well at school that is for sure. And he wouldn’t have
had the vocabulary he has now. Though from a tiny baby he could talk and for
his age he has always been years ahead of his class mates, but Hubs influence I’m
sure has made him the man he is today as far as education. I think my Son
wouldn’t be half as independent though and we would have been as close as we
were years ago before Hub and myself got together. Sadly, we have made him so
independent that he never comes for advice now and everything I say is of
course wrong. He knows best. I still love him as much now as I did when he was
one, two three and older. He has this assumption that because he is twenty, I can
stop caring for him and he has his own life. Of course, he does, God help
anyone who gets in the way of that, but I would love to bring the days back
when we could have time together laughing talking about things in a pleasant
way and just being a family. My friends say that will come when he meets with
the girl he will marry and he is fully grown up. I guess I didn’t really feel
totally grown up until I had my baby and that was when I was in my late
twenties.
I tell you what though, this parenting is tough. When my Son
is half an hour away telling me via text he is leaving and will be home in
thirty minutes, and two hours later he isn’t home, I text him and his reaction
when he gets home is Mum, why did you text, you knew I was coming home? I just
say, yes Son, but you had a busy day, you were travelling on motorways you said
in thirty you would be home and of course I was concerned especially as I had
his dinner ready for him as I knew he was going straight back out after being
home for a shower.
He was ill for a couple of days. I cared for him as a mother
would. Because I love him. Not because he is a certain number, age. As a good
parent, you never stop loving or caring for your child and when you have had
the life I have had, you care more.
I do think though, if I hadn’t have had my child, I would
look still in my twenties. I swear I only have aged because of fighting against
a determined person every day for the past five years.
I tried to send my friend a birthday card via Moonpig.
Their website is totally inaccessible. So, my Son did it for
me. Six days later the card that we paid £10.00 for, to my shock, has not
arrived. You know the card that promised to be there next day? After five days,
it’s not. So, be careful using them as the cards may say £3.50 but to post
them, they charge the earth and if it doesn’t get there? Not good.
Perhaps the pig took it to the moon?
Or was that the cow that jumped over the moon? I loved that
nursery rhyme when I was a child. Someone on FaceBook reminded me of that the
other day. Whoever wrote that must have been on drugs. Perhaps their card got
stuck too?
Published in 1765
Hey Diddle Diddle
The cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
The little dog laughed
To see such fun
As the dish ran away with the spoon
The rhyme may date back as far as the 16th century
The cat and the fiddle were names of popular Inns. There was
one called that in London way back in 1587
Oh, my blogs are just full of random rubbish. Haha.
There was something so very special about a nursery rhyme
book for children don’t you think? I looked all over for my Son one when he was
a baby. One just like the one I had. Sadly, all my books went when I was small.
I guess my mum thought I would never see them to read, I can’t remember my Mum
ever reading me a story before bed or anytime to be honest. I was so devastated
when my Son couldn’t have one read to him too. My ex just didn’t bother and
obviously I had just lost my vision when he was a year old and stupidly I was
prevented to learn Braille when a child and like a lot of people who are
partially sighted, they think they may never need Braille.
If my now Husband was the father of my child, he would have
read my boy stories, whereas he had to put up with his mad Mum doing puppet
shows with his cuddly toys and as I have written before, each of them had
different voices, all coming from Mummy bear though and one day I was
exhausted. I had a really bad day and my heart wasn’t in the adaptation of bed
time bears, bouncing on blankets of baby’s beds.
Rodger, the naughty golden fluffy dog with the floppiest
ears, his voice suddenly became Sarah’s, the malty coloured teddy with the pretty
pink bow
My two-year-old said which such concern.
“Mummy, you are silly, that’s not Rodger, that’s Sarah!””
It was at that point that I realised that my madness before
dreams, had sunk into the mindset of my beautiful darling Son.
Whilst conversations between me, my baby and all the soft
colourful toys around his bed, lots of laughter, little did he know just how
much sadness I had in my life. How alone I was. Talking of loneliness, I heard
yesterday that being lonely was the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes per
day. Being alone is very bad for your health. I suppose I can agree with the
scientists if you hurt when you are on your own. And we are talking about
people who never get out of the house or have anyone visit them. My heart kills
for those people. I was that person many years ago. My ex was a very hard
worker and player and I was on my own for up to seventeen hours per day and
when I lost my sight my parents died just after then so I had no one.
Boarding school removed any friends I may have had at home
as I was hardly there and because my school had kids from all over the country,
we never saw each other in holidays or after school. Shame really as they were
great kids. Thanks to technology, I have been reunited now with some school
pals and we will be now forever friends.
I married so very young I was a teenager and I wanted to be
the best wife so I was dedicated to my ex-husband. My young life was spent
constantly cleaning and cooking. It was only when I had my baby and he had to
go to school, I eventually after parents learned I wasn’t the alcoholic but the
blind Mum, with a name oddly enough, I met friends, after they saw one Mum come
to talk with me and realise that I didn’t bite and I didn’t cling onto them
begging them to help this poor defensive woman. In fact, after a couple of
years, I was known as the popular Mum that everyone wanted to be with but to
get there, took a lot of grief and sorting out the rubbish as a lot of rubbish
got stuck to me as I was just happy to cling onto anything or anyone that
wanted to say hello to me. Desperate was the word. After sorting out who were
users, I learned actually, I am me, if you don’t want to be with me, tough, if
you want to be with me, there is a reason why, I evaluated that why, and worked
on it.
Once you are comfortable with yourself and learn who you
really are, your life becomes so much easier.
Gosh, where did this blog come from today?
Well right now I am off to eat. It’s almost three in the
afternoon and I haven’t even had a cup of tea yet. Then I am going to check my
work email and see if I have a message from my favourite Blogget in South
Africa. I hope I have as her emails are sunshine on a rainy day. If it’s
raining where you are, I hope rainbows will follow. X
No comments:
Post a Comment