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Saturday, 12 August 2017

ELVIS DAD AND ME BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Gosh, we have just watched the top twenty of Elvis Presley’s songs. I was doing well, until the song Dixieland came on. Oh, my goodness. The pain, the emotions the feelings just burst out. I was in America with some special friends and we went to a wonderful place where some amazing men were singing and one song they sang I had to beg my husband to try to take my mind off the song, the tune, the words, the memories. I asked Hub to please please talk to me and distract me from the absolute agony I was going through, that was seven years ago, the same pain agony hurt burning feeling lump in my throat that I thought was going to split my neck open all those years ago as I was a little girl. Same feeling then as tonight. Same song, why?

 

My Darling Dad who I worshipped he was is, my hero. He was working as a coalminer cutting the coal on his stomach with old fashioned cutters when the pit caved in on him. He was for dead. It was during the night. I was eleven. It was just before I went to my new boarding school far away from home. The irony was, I went to boarding school when I was six, my Mum fought for me to come home at nights and it took until I was ten before we got our dream. The head master of my first boarding school was a mean man. Little did I know was, I had only a year and a half before I would be sent away again to my second school. So only eighteen months as a normalish child that could go to school in the morning and home to my parents at night. Right through my life I couldn’t seem to go long without sadness hitting me. This night I will never forget. I heard my Mum and big brother talking in our living room I had to learn what was going on, I sneaked out of bed stood on our freezing landing and listened to words I just didn’t want to believe to be true. It turned out, the pit caved in on my Dad they eventually got him out and he was rushed to hospital. They didn’t think my Dad would survive.

 

Months later he was allowed to come home after so much rehab but he was still in bed in our living room downstairs. He was too ill to climb the stairs as for our bathroom was downstairs. We lived in a miner’s cottage which was simple house two bedrooms upstairs, downstairs a sitting room, kitchen and small bathroom. No front garden garage or drive and a back yard with a coal bunker and high walls around it that had a gate which lead onto a back lane, where the coal lorries would drive down leaving us our sacks of coal to keep our fire burning. We had no central heating back then.

 

My beautiful Dad who worked all his life, since the age of 14, and later in life, seventeen hours every day six sometimes seven days a week for me to get to Russia. The guilt I feel for the lives my parents lived, will never leave me.

 

My Dad lay still ill in his bed. I never thought he would walk again. My Dad was so sweet. Would do anything for anyone, even total strangers. He never had a bad word to say about anyone. I never heard him curse when I was a child. He took my hand. He still looked pitiful. I overheard him talking that day to my Mum saying he was worried sick as now who would work to get the money to take me to Russia for my eye treatment? As a child, I felt so sad. So sad. I sat with my little hand in his and he started to sing that song, Dixieland and the words broke my heart, oh God, the pain. I couldn’t cry in front of my parents. I learned from a tiny girl not to show them my feelings. When we came home from boarding school on a Friday, we even had to recite the words to go home but come back Sunday, cheerful, not tearful. We had to chant this in assembly every Friday. Almost like browbeating. Brainwashing us.

 

Since then, that song has brought back all of those feelings. My Dad has been dead 19 years and the pain I feel now is the same pain as I felt 38 years ago. It hasn’t got any better . So, that came on tonight and my poor Husband asked if I wanted it turned off. I said no. Oh but really one hour later, I still am so very much in such dreadful distress. Gosh, if only I could turn back time and beg my parents not to have taken me to Russia all those times, in fact the trauma I went through on my first visit there as a six-year-old child, I wish I had never gone at all. Then my parents would have had a better life. So, I would have been blind at a young age, I would have coped. I would have coped better then losing my vision as I did many years later as an adult who was in total denial that my vision would ever go. Better than I did with a one-year old baby to care for because the shock of blindness would have been long ago in my life. Like a play I guess. Actors who rehearse for the big night. I had no time to rehearse. If I had not have gone to Russia, my life would have been so different but most of all, my parents would have had a life, because of my stupid vision, my parents existed. They never lived.

 

Elvis to me was the best singer ever to have lived. As a young girl, I thought he was the best-looking man ever to have existed and I loved his films but moreover, he had the ability to be able to sing a song from not only his heart, but his soul. And as for his soul, he was subnormal to me. He was as if from another world. I have never seen anyone who looks like him, even the lookalikes, are nowhere near to what he looked like as a young man.

 

I have always been able to feel compassion and empathy for others. From a tiny little girl. I always could read people. And Elvis’s eyes told a very sad story. I felt so sad whenever I saw him on our TV. It was as if my heart was his and his pain was given to me.    

 

     How can songs leave someone in such a devastated state of mind? Memories, people say we are what we are because of our past so to remove memories would leave a soulless state, but surely why do we need to hurt? Because of pain, does that really make us nicer people? Those who don’t have a problem in the world, those who go through lives smoothly, I guess they are not as nice as those who have known sadness and tragedy, but why punish people in such a way, and others seem to get away with everything. I think I would rather be that hard-uncaring person rather than to have to go through this every time I have a memory of something from my past.

 

I’m rambling I guess. So back to a short Diary. sorry I have not been around for ages, it’s been a strange week. I have had numb words. And, lots of them. My head is all over the place. I have been really busy what I have achieved is almost invisible though.

 

Here we are again, another weekend. A couple of nights ago, we went out with our friends to the local pub quiz. It was great. I absolutely loved it. Great company and wonderful punters. I actually had alcohol. Yep, peach snaps with lemonade. Ha-ha. Two I will have you know. That is not like me, but peach snaps tastes like pop/soda, doesn’t it, my Husband said that I was tipsy, but I wasn’t I was just relaxed and happy, I think he said what he said because of the questions I was answering at the quiz. Well, get this one, one of the questions I must say, it was the easiest question of the night as they were so difficult, was what group had the song yellow out in 2000? I knew the answer. Hub who loves this group by the way, said no, not a chance. I said it was and my friend luckily wrote the answer down and I was right. They are an English super group. I just cannot believe it has been 17 years since this was out? The group?

Coldplay!

 

I love going to the quiz with our friends. I’m totally rubbish at answering the questions. In fact, I think I answered five right. But Hub with all of his degrees, about seven. Smile. Thank God, our two friends managed the other fourteen between them to get us to 26, out of 40. But the team who came first only got thirty, the questions were really difficult this week.

 

Our boy came home from a very early start to his place of work. Him and Shamrock took our two dogs out for a walk for the second time today they have been out. Firstly, with June our lovely lady who walks them and then the kids. So, tonight they will sleep

 

Ok, off for now, I appreciate you all. Take care. X

   

 

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