GOODNIGHT FAMILY PILLOW TALK

  Our brother that is my Hubs brother, my in law, is off to Australia to emigrate at the end of January. Tonight he asked us by text to go to have dinner with the full family. Well, my brother in law who is emigrating is great, we love him to bits. His twin the same but as for his and I say his, as my Husband refuses to call her sister, would be at the dinner, so there is no way he or I would attend. As far as my Husband is concerned, his brother’s sister made his Mothers last few months on earth hell. We loved her and feel robbed of her life and what hell she has put our Dad through to see that poor man suffer with the loss of his wife and all because of the deep sadness that awful person put my Mother in law through. OK she died of cancer and that isn’t helped by stress. So as much as we love our brothers and Dad, how could we be expected to sit at the same table as her? It’s a shame really, as when I first met her; I thought we could get on OK. I had heard stories about her, but I never believe them until it’s proven to me, and oh boy, it was proven alright. Mind you, she isn’t half as bad as my old blister in law when I was with my ex. She was on another level.

 

So I only hope that we can see our brothers with Dad before the big guy goes off to Australia? Gosh we will miss him. I doubt he will ever see Hubs and his Dad again. It’s so sad. But he has to do or follow his dream. I really wish him luck but I am going to miss him. He has been so good and so much fun. I kept hoping it would be all a daft dream and he would wake up, but now that dream is a reality. He does everything for his Dad I guess he deserves a break and now we have to do what we can and that is going to be challenging. I know my other brother in law won’t be sitting at the same table as his sister either, so we are not alone. I can only pray that my big bro in law will understand and allow us to say goodbye to him without her.

 

It was written that it would be his Dads last time to have a family meal, well that to me is totally depressing and I’m not sure how my Father in law would cope with that! My Husband is agonising over the whole situation right now. He doesn’t want to let his brother down but his brother does know how we all, feel about her.

 

My mad aunt phoned today. Well, I didn’t get to talk with her I was busy with my friend. We are just about talking after she made her demands to see me on a Tuesday weeks and weeks ahead and I said to her I wasn’t sure what I was doing that far, to give me a few days to check out my diary but oh no, it all went wrong. I asked my aunt if she would come on a Saturday but no, out of the question. Well it’s kind of a good thing that she can’t come at a weekend either now as I think from next weekend, we will be rather busy.  More on that later.

 

I almost have everyone’s Christmas gift now. Thanks to my friend coming through and for on line shopping. It’s been the most difficult year for sure. Gosh I do miss our Long Chops. It’s been eight weeks since we went to the bank. Thank goodness for cash points.

 

Poor teen is up tomorrow again at five for work. Then long hours’ drive to get there and its icy roads out there tonight. With his breaks being dreadful, I feel totally sick. He has put in for a holiday but looks like he won’t be given it. Not good at all. He has not had a break since July. Too long for a kid of his age. He is doing seven days this week before his first day off. I don’t like that for his health, though he is doing so well and I’m totally proud of him.

 

I still have my cough and I’m still feeling dizzy but slowly getting better. My breathlessness is shallow but again improving. Almost three and a half weeks this has gone on for now.

 

I can’t remember the last time I saw my neighbour Diann. I have been so busy or ill. Tomorrow I have to find the strength to do all what has been asked of me. Bless the office they have been so sweet and understanding but I’m punishing myself as I want the best job done.

 

This week I have been asked to write seven poems. These are personal poems for people rather than to be published here so not to share sadly.

 

Whilst the world is going crazy and families seem to be striking matches near cables, I want calm in my life and calm in the world. How to get this? I would say sleep. But then I have nightmares. So I guess I need to write some poetry on here and poems from my heart but not soul as I don’t want dark poems. I want chocolate and fairies.

 

I hope wherever you are, your family are all smiling at each other and you all have sweet dreams. I’m off to bed now so I shall bid you a good night’s sleep and I hope outside of your place of slumber, it is silent. There is no fear in your hearts and your minds are full of happiness. Goodnight. X