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Monday, 30 November 2015

DIARY OF THE DARK MAN IN RED


Good afternoon Bloggets. Wow, it’s wild here in this part of the UK. The wind is so strong and it’s raining too. Sounds from my house, first the roar of the wind, then the bels of my chimes in the garden, a gate slamming open and closed then the odd plastic bin rolling down the street but very little activity of people out chatting to each other in our friendly neighbourhood as normal. I can’t blame them.

 

Our house is nice and warm, and after me unplugging our heating HIVE yesterday, that is a miracle or is it Hubs technical skills of getting it back to work. It’s all on line. Why did I unplug the heating? Because we were putting up our Christmas lights and decorations, so I was using the plugs.

 

 

Hub and teen in the loft bringing down box after box of what? How they or Hub knows they are decorations, I will never know, I guess it’s because they are put in the same place in the loft each year.

 

Teen asked us if we needed help but Mrs Independent likes to do it herself. Why? Well, if I do it, then I know what it looks like, I know where each decoration goes. I love to unwrap each bauble and toy and tell Hub every year the story behind the toys. I’m sure he will think not this story again, but he never complains and lets me get it out of my system smile.

 

I love the smell of our tree it’s artificial but I sprayed it some years ago and the cinnamon and tangerine still lingers. I have gold and silver tinsel and I would love to be able to put the silver then the gold, but that requires sight and that is something teen won’t have much   patience in helping me with. Everything with him has to be done now in two seconds and he complains about everything I ask him to do. Kids are dam selfish creatures.

 

I have a garland along my mantelpiece and lit up twigs in the vase on the window. Teddies hanging from the ceiling and candles are all in their places.

 

Today Hub and I ventured outside to do the outside decorations    oh gosh that was so difficult. I’m sure I have hung the angel upside down again. I flipping hate being blind.

 

We asked our son to help to take in the garden furniture for the winter, been asking him for five weeks now. It’s still out there. We can do it but to lift heavy stuff requires two hands and how then do we know where we are going?  Well, if it breaks it breaks. I’m so fed up of stressing over my garden. There are more important things in life.

 

So there I was, up the blooming ladders in the howling wind with rain beating against my head whilst Jack Frost bit at my fingers. I couldn’t feel them to tie up the decorations. We have a star a snowflake and an angel. My lovely neighbour and friend sent me a text to say our decorations look lovely so that made me so happy. As a blind person you just never know.

 

So to all those of you who are facing the darkness. Please listen. I was you at one stage and the fear of blindness is the most terrifying time of your life. It was for me for sure. When I first went blind, I wanted to die. I couldn’t breathe my heart pounded in absolute terror. I was not grieving, it was even worse than that pain. How could I laugh, even smile again? Now I’m laughing with Hub putting up our Christmas lights. Looking forward to the big man in red coming down my chimney…. Though I haven’t got a chimney, but hey, I can improvise? Heheheheheh.

 

Don’t get me wrong, being blind is awful, I hate it. But we do laugh. We do live, we talk about colours again. We match our clothes and household soft furnishings. We plan a head. And, my Husband thinks I’m beautiful….. Also, I can ask him when I’m getting ready to go out. “Does my bum look big in this?” he will always say no. I smile as in his head; I’m a leggy blonde babe. In my head I’m a tall bleb. With a butt that almost would take two aeroplane seats on the way to Benidorm... But My Hub sees me for my voice and personality, for the sweet perfume I wear and he says my brain….. He loves my hair as for my figure; I guess it looks worse than what it feels like?

 

OK, Hub is blasting the oddest music. It is organ music. No, not my heart beating or my lungs rattling, but organs from Cathedrals. But they have a bit of kick in them… They sound more like a funfair. I can’t hear or concentrate, so I shall go for now but be back as I have loads to tell you. So much you won’t believe some of the stories coming your way near a Blogget page near you.

 

Until later with love. Some words before I close.

“Blind people can’t see a candle, but they can feel the heat from it and smell it when it’s blown out. We don’t see the light, we feel it, we can’t see when there is no light on, but we sense it when it’s off.”  

Fiona Cummings

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