I Have been reading lately about people still living in fear
of blindness. Going blind. I can tell you I have been there and I’m far from a
super blindie as I call them. These are people who say, they are not afraid of
going blind and being blind. Something I have never believed is when these
people say they don’t mind being blind and even saying they are happier being
blind than sighted. Firstly, I believe they tell themselves this as it’s a
coping strategy. Secondly, I think these people have support from family, so
they are not on their own. And thirdly, I am sure that these people may be
happier now they are blind as the thought of going blind is definitely the
worst place to be. It was worse for me knowing I could go blind than actually
being blind. Also, I am happier now I’m blind than I was when I was sighted. Nothing
at all to do with being blind but life’s circumstances.
I actually hate being blind. I live to see, but I have a
life!
When I first went blind I lived with grief and deep sadness
every day of my life masking it to the outside world. From the day I went
blind, life couldn’t get any worse. So much happened to me over the years and I
had no one to talk with about well, life. or at least how I can continue to
live.
Fast forward ten years, my life changed. And now I am in a
better place with better people and I exist with the odd day of joy but every
day love.
Don’t get me wrong we have enormous challenges my Husband
and myself, but together we get through them. We have to, what choice is there
for us other than to cope? Sink or swim. And I have never been good at swimming.
Or, sinking. I hate water over my head. So, I’m stuck in between and this is
why I can see it pardon the pun from both sides.
If only I can tell those of you who have recently been
diagnosed with an eye disease that will lead to blindness you are going to be
OK, also just live for the day. Appreciate the fact you can wake up in the
mornings and see the sun. look in the mirror and remember every single feature
on your face. Take in the loved ones around you. Enjoy every moment of the gift
of vision as when you don’t have it, it will be then time to move on. And you
can.
When I went blind, the fear that ran through my body was
like nothing I have ever experienced in my life or never would want to go
through again. But this was because of many reasons. Mainly all of my life, the
only reason I existed is to fight for sight. So, when there was none, what was
the point of living?
I had a baby, that’s the main and only reason. But for my
future, I will one day if I am blessed, have Grandchildren. The joys they will
bring. I have friends who I love dearly and my Husband and Son, who are my
life. my Son was the reason for staying alive, and my Son and Husband are the
reason for living now.
So, you say now you have no children or family not even
friends. But you might next week, month, year. And remember families are not
the answer. If you will never have children, think of the stress you will miss
out on. The sleepless nights and I’m not talking about when they are babies,
but when they are teenagers and young adults. The hurt they can cause. When I hear
of other people’s stories about their kids, I thank God for our Son. But still it hasn’t been an easy journey.
Your friends could be your family in the future. As far as
we know life as we know it only happens once. So just hang in there and wait
and see your potentials. You may not work now, but if you do go blind you may
end up with a job. Blind people do work though because of ignorance we do
struggle in finding that employer who will give us a chance, and I can guarantee
if we find a good one, they will never want to let us go.
Talking of jobs, try to think of a job that you still will
be able to do if you do go blind. Focus on future employment or stay in the
company you are with but look at how they can transfer you.
I get loads of emails asking “What can I do for a job if I go
blind?””
Not a surgeon or driver that’s for sure. But a teacher, Psychologist,
work in a bank. A mobility trainer, blind trainers are the best as they speak
our language. A transcriber print into Braille. Machines do the hard bit in a
lot of cases. Just be prepared. Educate yourself as much as you can. Get as
much experience as you can.
I read so many stories about people who drive for a living
or even drive for personal reasons and yesterday they have just been diagnosed,
been told they may, and that is the important word, may, go blind. Already they
talk about how they will be able to receive benefits. This always intrigues me
as their vision just hasn’t suddenly deteriorated, in most cases it will go
slowly, giving you the chance to look for other jobs whilst you can see. Get your
foot in the door.
It’s all about learning a new skill.
I understand if you are devastated now and so depressed you
can’t think about moving let alone looking for a new job, but think of the
waisted years you have left with vision that you could be spending time grieving
for something that hasn’t and may never happen?
Firstly, learn to touch type I say this every few months in
my blogs as every few months, we have another few hundred new Bloggets/readers.
So, this is new to them.
Of course, most of my readers are fully sighted, but you
never know if one day, my words may resonate inside of your head and your
heart.
I don’t want anyone to be half as scared as I was. Not even
half. It’s perfectly normal to be afraid though you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t
afraid who isn’t of the unknown, this is why, make it known to you, please. Learn
your new skills and if you never need them, someone else may and if you don’t ever
use them, what have you lost? Occupying your mind with something other than fear.
© Fiona Cummings
No comments:
Post a Comment