Dearest Bloggets
Thank God for my hearing. As a blind person, my hearing is vital. I just can’t comprehend those who can’t hear or see anything at all. I know of people though who are deaf and blind who work and live their lives as best and successfully as they can. Better than me for sure. We are faced with challenges in our life, so for someone to say things like I couldn’t do that, it really makes me mad. Well, what choice do we have? If I had been born deaf and blind, what would I to do? End my life with an overdose of tablets with my formula? No, we just have to adapt. I have heard people who say if I went deaf I would kill myself. Well, firstly, I don’t think they would but I would imagine those people would have a very unhappy depressing life. If they were blind too. Sometimes when we are in our awful busy city, I walk around, heart in mouth, and I am in wonder just how those of you do this who can’t see or hear. Because I use my hearing to navigate. Especially where we live now, where it’s not quite so noisy. I can tell if I am next to a building or a tree. Hub taught me this it’s taken a lot of years but I’m getting there. I can tell if I am coming up to a car if it’s not too busy, in our town that is a different story. Lamp posts, bins, sign posts, totally different. And, I can tell you first hand, they blooming hurt.
As I sit here in my conservatory, I am blessed to have my loving Husband who provides for me and gives me the best life he can. I have never had such a wonderful kind Husband, well, I have only had two, haha, but you know what I mean, I can’t imagine having a man as good as my love. Sometimes I feel I am not good enough for him, he tells me if not for me he wouldn’t be here now, as in living, well, I really hope that wouldn’t be true. Though he tells me he loves me every single day, I still don’t feel worthy of him or anyone to be honest.
I have been invited to a school reunion. I really want to go as there are at least four people who are going who are close to my heart, but I just can’t face it. It’s not my first school reunion, it’s my high school. We all know about what happened at my first school reunion? Hmm. The best thing ever. Hub and I were reunited. My life started from the beginning. I felt alive for the first time in so long, I say first time in a long time, in fact, I do wonder if my life started that reunion? As I said to a friend who I really get on so well with, my heart wants to go but my stupid head can’t do it.
I am so grateful to the first school reunion I went to as I met three people apart from my love, who are life time friends. JB, Tracey and Trix. Because of Trix, Hub has become best friends with her Husband Like. I think I will meet up with the high school gang some time, just perhaps not this year.
So, back to my conservatory. I can hear sadly, the dreadful traffic on the motorway near our house. Gosh, the traffic is so bad. The innocent birds are singing I can just about hear them. There are birds messing as I write, they are on my glass roof and other birds pecking at the drain where the little creatures sleep, sadly bate for the birds, but, they have to eat. Every now and then, the sound of a grass cutter or a strimmer. The fragrance’s coming in are of roses and some lovely plants in a tub of mine that my friends Mum kindly did for me. Then there is a smell of burning wood. Perhaps from a log burner or a garden heater or just from someone burning their fence or something, possibly the farmers field in the distance.
There is no chocolate from the chocolate factory today the wind mustn’t be blowing in the right direction. Oh, I love it in the winter, when the frost hits the air and it’s slightly windy enough to tease me with the chocolate. Gosh, it’s like a moulting bath of chocolate is waiting for me, this is where I got the idea of my chocolate poems I wrote for children. Mind you, more adults appreciated them as the requests I received from adults without children were heart warming.
So, our senses, touch, well I know Hub reads Braille, all of our bills come in Braille. Tablets are also in Braille thankfully. Hub is allergic to aspirin; our aspirin is next to our paracetamol in the medicine box. So, for me if I were allergic, they would have to be well out of the way, as I can’t read Braille. Well, the odd letter, but not enough to trust myself with pills.
You would have laughed yesterday, Hub fed The Little Fella his dinner. I then went to feed Waggatail. We don’t feed our dogs together. So, leading to touch again, I felt her collar. She has one bell and LF has two. We have bells so we can hear them in the garden. Even in the house to be honest, it’s helpful. Not that they lay around waiting for us to stand on them. Thank God. Otherwise there would have been two squashed dogs a long time ago. But, we charge around our house, as if we can see. In confidence. One bell, One Wagga. She ate her dinner, and afterwards, I opened the living room door to put Waggs in next to LF. Hmm. Footsteps started to walk backwards. Hang, on, Wagga does that, it’s her talent. Haha. She can walk backwards for ages. LF can’t. So, why is Waggatail in front of me, when I have just fed her, behind me?
Oh
No
Behind me was a very happy dog with the biggest smile upon his face. Yep, LF, had been fed twice.
But, one bell? He has two?
Well, when I looked again, one of his bells was tucked under his collar.
Oops.
I hope it’s nice tomorrow we may take our dogs for a walk around where we live. Today Hub is working hard. I have seen him for less than ten minutes. Boy Wonder gone out with Shamrock. He looks so handsome. So, tall and smells so lovely he is wearing his new shirt. It’s silk white he says with blue stripes. I haven’t nagged him about his course work. But I pray he will get on with it. He is relying on his boss to bounce the ball to be kicked. His boss is new and is sorting out teething problems right now with his office. As all new starters do. He used to be something high up in London, something to do with finance. He’s a high flyer or was as a young man, he is now in his thirties. I hope he can remember those days to help BW out.
Shamrock is doing well with her driving, thankfully she hasn’t had a crash yet. I hope she doesn’t. The roads are getting worse. Far too many cars on them. There is one goes past our garden with such speed every three quarters of a second. On stop all day until half six then one every one and a half seconds till eleven at night then one every half a minute until two in the morning then for about five hours, about one every twenty minutes. Not that I have counted. I’m not that, sad…..
I have to dash to make dinner for just two tonight not three or four. So, something simple. Then there is loads of ironing. Oh, dread dot com.
Words before I go.
“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Author, The Brothers Karamazov)
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