Good day Bloggets. Right now, my heart is in my mouth. Why? Laters. It was a lovely weekend. As I wrote in an earlier blog, we went out with friends and it wasn’t planned. Just kind of a random request our friends called us and off we went. What is planned though, is our trip to see our friends in Northumberland. Once I’m there I’m fine, getting there is a bit challenging. But coming back? I’m dreading. The station we are travelling from is unmanned. So, this means we are on the platform waiting for our train, the trains to London fly by at such speed. I have a huge fear of falling onto the track. Then the train pulls in, is it ours? Where’s the door? Once on, finding our seats that are booked? There will be four of us, all blind and we have done this before, but I’m like a scared kitten. The other three are, our besties and my Hub, who take it in their stride. Of course, they won’t be totally relaxed about it, but nothing like me. Already I have palpitations. Making sure Waggatail and the Little Fella are safe too and don’t fall down the gap between the platform and the train. In Japan, their trains are amazing, there is no gap and there is a fence all the way apart from where the doors are. For people who are blind, Japan is amazing. They have tactile paths leading to different helpful things like for example bank card machines and their crossings have different sounds, so you can learn where you are by listening. So much is in Braille too. I can’t wait for us to have things like that. I know there are paving slabs out but not in the UK yet, where when you walk on them, they tell you what shop you are outside. There is work going on where you where an earpiece and it’s somehow linked up with your iPhone and that will give you instructions where you are. But again, we are waiting for that to be approved or paid for… Better still, let’s find a cure for blindness? Please?
After doing lots of research, I really am getting more and more disillusioned with our eye care. Everything is so very slow. I do wonder if I will ever see in my life time. I think if you are in your twenties, perhaps but not forties, or am I just having a down day?
Each night I look in the mirror in our bathroom and see nothing. I feel so sad. After twenty years of being blind, I still look, hope it’s all been a dreadful misunderstanding and I did go blind, but it’s my mind that now can’t see. My sight is there, but my brain is telling my eyes I can’t see. After all, our eyes are just windows to our soul, our brain is the battery that activates sight, hearing walking talking and so on!
Last night I had a meltdown. Everything just got on top of me. I’m so tired now of the kitchen and not being able to get everything done. The furniture is still in the middle of the floor in our conservatory waiting for the skirting boards to be fitted. We still have a few boxes upstairs and all our crystal is all over the office I need to get the house right, so I can walk without being in fear of breaking something.
I have an object in my hand, firstly, what is it? Secondly, where does it go? Finding cupboards to accommodate everything and then remembering where they are and what is in them. I know I will learn and I know it’s so much better more organised and we have electrics now that we can work without stress. Oh, a funny thing, I took a Braille sheet of Hubs and on it, I knew it had the instructions for the kitchen appliances. Well I can read basic Braille, but not contracted Braille, that’s like in sighted terms, joint up/cursive writing. I have no chance in reading that, so I decided so it wouldn’t get lost, I would tape it to the door of our cleaning cupboard. Great idea, right? Until Hub comes along as I show him my latest brainstorm. He said in his serious way.
“Right, yes, that would be fine love. If you didn’t stick it upside down!””
Oh well. What’s wrong with him, where’s his sense of adventure? Has he never done handstands?
Today our kitchen was to be finished. But it’s not.
My joiner was due this morning and he isn’t here and it’s after mid-day. It’s so not like him not to turn up and his phone is switched off too. I fear something awful has happened to him.
It’s Boy Wonders first day at work for a week. He is kind of looking forward to it. He is sad that his old boss has been moved onto another area. He got on so well with him, but he received a lovely message from him, saying so many nice things about BW.
Not long now before BW goes on his course, hopefully will lead to better things. He went to his girlfriend’s Mothers surprise birthday party at the weekend. They got there for half seven and came back at half two in the morning. Shamrocks Mother stayed way beyond that time. Gosh, where did she get that energy from? We were so proud of our Son, as he only had two drinks all night and as Shams family are Irish, they like their drink. So, pleased he didn’t go with the flow and do the same as the majority.
The next day, Hub took BW to buy a new bed. BW’s bed is only a year old, but it was a cheap one and really, it’s awful. The springs are sticking right out. So, now we need to get rid of the bed and mattress as well as so much more rubbish we have accumulated over the past few months. I can’t even get into our garage now. It’s so bad. I’m really fed up with it all.
Our joiner has been taking loads away with him but there are things he can’t take.
Well, I shall go and lock the gate and doors now, as it looks like there won’t be any work done today. Sad and grumpy. I have loads of ironing to do and some dusting also going to make a chicken dinner for the family tonight, though my Son won’t be in until rather late.
Have you heard of the saying turn a setback into a comeback? Well, my question is, how? I guess every problem has a solution. Turn those obstacles into stepping stones, to get to where we need to be. We learn from our mistakes I guess. We perceive problems as another vital lesson. Just I’m tired of being educated. Kids get holidays a break from school. My teacher will not relent.
Cicero said. “Where there is hope, there is life.””
Time to live. Smile.
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