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Tuesday, 4 December 2018

I CAN SEE YOU BY FIONA CUMMINGS


 Good afternoon Bloggets. I was up early today had loads of things to post. The morning had damp in the air and that definite December chill. The smoke smell from the log fires filled the air. It was so quiet going to the post. Waggatail did so well. We were out on Saturday with family and both our dogs were so well behaved. My Waggs had never been where there was loud music before it was different for her and she coped but both dogs slept most of yesterday. They did go for a real good run on the field though in the morning of yesterday. It was lovely to see our family and hope to see them soon again.

 

Well our Son is in week two of his new job… will he make it to the end of the week? I really hope so. He will learn at the end of the week how long he has before he is on his own, though somehow, he will still be training. Right now, it is too classroomy for him. I hope he sticks it out for a few months at least, but I totally understand if he leaves for another job. He has to sit still for eight hours and he hates that. He is too active.

 

Here I sit with the knowledge that my outside garden at the front is all decorated. It’s all lit up. Inside I have my lights on and the fireplace is all lit up too and has decorations on the hearth as well! Later on, I shall light a candle. I have apple and cinnamon fragrance.

 

I haven’t sorted out dinner and Hub will be home in a couple of hours, BW in less than an hour. What to make tonight? I really really don’t know. It’s exhausting deciding what to cook.

 

I was furious as our recycle bins have got taken again. Hub went out looking for them on the day they were emptied, Not there. I went thinking he has missed them. A couple of days later, BW looked. No bins again. Well today my friend bless her went looking, she did notice one bin in someone’s garden, but without going to have a closer look, she couldn’t tell if it was ours. But she did retrieve one out of three of them. Its obvious they are ours as they have our door number on them and they have Braille on them. BW said he will have a look again for us. This has happened three times and they cost £18 to replace them. Who would stoop so low though to pinch someone’s bins? And I’m sure they do it because they know we can’t see.

 

Hub has a really dreadful week at work. He’s not in until really late at nights. One day next week he won’t be home until after eight but at least he’s not staying overnight anywhere before Christmas.

 

Our news is so full of Brexit. I’m sick to death of it. The crazy thing is, people who are in our PM’s party don’t seem to realise if they go against her, they will vote in Labour and that man is dangerous. He is lacking in intelligent too and trust me, he has a real mean side of him that is only detected by his voice as I can’t see his face, I hear his words and they are what they are, but his voice is so untrusting. Ted Baker, the clothing designer has seen shares fall after hugging allegations… So, in a wide similarity, we don’t stand together over Brexit, a fool will lead the UK. If prices fall with Ted Baker, who knows, will jobs be at risk? There is a saying going around the UK right now an oldie but goodie. Be careful what you wish for.

 

In the UK a woman has been killed after leaning out of the train window she was travelling in. Why would you do that? Her poor family.

 

Apparently, we are going to have a snowfall this week. Great, but I hope it comes back for Christmas day, I would love a white Christmas.

 

I think next year Hub has a plan. All four of us are going on a great holiday for a few days. It’s my dream to stay in a log cabin in some kind of Scandinavian country. He was looking at things to do there like Husky experiences sleigh rides seeing reindeers and snowboarding. Of course, Hub would be up for all of that as would BW. Some I will do but other than that, I think I shall be in the cosy cabin with Shamrock toasting marshmallows. It’s a dream, let’s see if it comes true?

 

Paris riots. Oh, it’s so sad I hope for peace soon. At least the French PM is calling to stop fuel hikes. I read the prices went up by 23%, not too sure how true that is, but the reason given was because there are too many drivers on the roads. Well there are other ways to change that by making public transport more attractive less money for example and more busses etc. car sharing, give incentives to drivers?

 

There are too many drivers on the roads and people are not half as polite as what they were especially where I live now. I also think there should be so much more into looking at driver’s eyesight. Its scary people driving out there who can’t see properly. I can tell you, when I had vision, I could sit in a car and if an instructor asked me to read a licence plate and that is all you need now, in the UK, to prove you can see enough to drive, I would be able to read it. And I had 27 per cent in one eye and 35% vision in the other eye. So, no way I could see to drive, but I would have passed the eyesight test. My neighbour was at his front door talking to me across the gardens the other day. I held something up to him. He didn’t respond. I asked him could he see what I was holding? He said no, so he came over. Seriously he had to stand the length of two tall people away before he saw what was in my hand. And he drives. It’s frightening. When driving with friends last week, our lady friend had to ask was it clear on the left our guy friend answered yes. Why can’t she see for herself?

 

I’m starting to understand less and less about vision now days. Like if I have a lamp and a wall light on in my sitting room, why does BW need the big ceiling lights on too?

My heart stops every time that happens. I wish I knew if it was because of the new stupid tiny lightbulbs we have to buy now days. I wish I could have a sighted friend in my house at the time BW puts on a bigger light, then I could say to my friend afterwards, could you see in that already provided lighting? If the answer would be yes, then my forever fears of him having the early signs of my eye disease would really start. But the other night when we came back from our family, it was so dark and foggy. Surely if BW had RP, he wouldn’t be able to see? And his driving was really good, only once he had to put on his breaks hard and that was, he said because the fog was so bad, we drove into a blanket. Shamrock said that she couldn’t really see either. And I didn’t go into details with them. At least he’s working in an office now, so if God forbid, something happens to his sight, I would hope he would be able to be transferred to doing a job where by his brain would be used rather than his brain mainly followed with his vision.

 

It was a huge mistake not getting his sight tested when he was a child. I regret that but at the same time, I wasn’t in a good place in life to have that done. So, this is my punishment, to forever worry about his sight as he won’t go and get his eyes tested. I fear, it’s because of his, fear. Kind of burying your head in the sand. I know all about that.

 

Hub and I are 85% sure his sight is fine, but with a hereditary disease on my side, then yes, it’s on my mind.

 

If you have anything like this, please get your children checked out as when they are older, they just won’t go… also if you learn they have something like RP when they are young, you can then get them to study for a job in a field where they would be able to work if their sight did fail later on. It’s no good learning to be a train driver if you are going to end up blind or at the least partially sighted. Or go to University to study to be a brain surgeon if in time, you will have to put away your scalpel!

 

And on that cutting edge, I shall go for now, but before I do, some words.

“Even though I’m blind, I can still see your love and know when you are being sly, cruel and condescending. I can’t see your face, but I know when you are smirking! I can’t see your fingers pointing to your eyes to alert people warning, blind person on arm alert, but I know you are doing it. Don’t ask why or how, that is for me to know and you to realise…””

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

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