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Friday 26 July 2019

GODS NEW BULBS AND FEATHER DUSTER BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Good day Bloggets. Gosh it’s been beautifully boiling hot here. But during the nights have been impossible. Not too many people in the UK have air conditioning. A, it’s expensive B, there really isn’t enough heat to justify and C, we are all getting environmentally friendly now! so, I have been breathing through open windows which provide no air and a fan that eventually gives off hot air as it projects the air in the room!

 

It’s been after four each morning before I have managed to sleep and that is pure exhaustion. But last night/this morning was different.

 

We went out with our friends. Well we drove the same amount of time but it wasn’t until we got there, I opened the car door when I realised, we weren’t at our lovely regular pub. Sounds I heard were loads of children. Never we hear that at our normal lovely country pub. But I guess its school summer holidays, so may be? Not as much traffic. Our pub is really noisy of traffic. Open spaces only people who are blind will know what that means. The air has an open feel rather than muffled if the building is far away. This was an open sound and our normal pub has loads of buildings close together so getting out of the car there, I hear the building. This place we didn’t. so, I asked, where are we? Oh my…. well I was delighted we sat outside as it was boiling hot as I said. I was told we were at a new pub, new to us. Oh gosh, it was not nice. Full of men not like our other pub where they are sophisticated business normally men and snooty couples. These guys were rough…. Their kids were out of control. Wild. Hub and I just kept saying how we wouldn’t allow our children to be like that. Haha. Oh, we are such kill joys. Well this person, I think lady came out and growled what did we want to eat? Em, nothing? But our friends decided to eat there. Going by her voice, I was put off even if I wanted something to eat. She sounded like she had smoked from the back of her throat for the past seventy three and a half years.

 

  Well friends ate, they said it was nice. I had my normal lime and lemon aid. And bag of salted nuts. They were safe, they were in a sealed bag….

 

There must have been fifteen men and their small children. This was nine at night. Children don’t have bedtimes obviously.

 

We decided to leave there. In the car, my friend told me they were all soldiers as we were near the barracks. But you know, bless them, they never once swore. I think our friends weren’t too impressed because of a visual thing rather than audio. For me it was the children that were wild. And playing in the car park where cars were pulling in and out.

 

We drove to another village. This pub sounded nice. Well the garden was lovely. Really comfortable seats. The air by now was warm and blowing as if we were in Spain. Just perfect. Another lime and lemon, I’m such a party animal, and a lovely night was had, but boy, that place was really expensive. The pub apparently was quite simple inside. It gave the audio impression like a pub in Spain those kinds you pass by on your way home it seemed to be open inside to the outside you could hear the voices just like you do when passing a taverna. The distant clinking of glasses the voices that sounded like they were coming from a tent… no cars though only the night birds. The moon and the peace. It was lovely.

 

We came home and our friends ended up in our back garden. We had a lovely night that went on to half past midnight. Hub and I enjoyed the night but the funny thing was, we have decided to throw away our corkscrew as Hub battled with it for the last time to open a bottle. It was really funny to watch him. He was grumbling away. Haha. I provided the snacks, ten minutes later, I shouted from our yard, love, our snacks are almost gone and we haven’t drank yet? I expect the extremities that were mumbled under the Hubsters breath weren’t very nice…

 

It was a lovely night though and Hub and I spoke until after one then he said he was going to sleep outside… I told him the mice and night time creepy crawlies would get him. He said he wasn’t bothered it was too hot. Oh, I had a plan, I would wait until he fell a sleep and take outside my feather duster and tickle his face ever so gently. He would poop himself…. Then I had another thought, how the heckers would I find his face without feeling for it then waking him up depleting the purpose of scaring him with the feather duster…. It would be like closing the gate after the horse got out!

 

It was after half five this morning before I got to sleep. Far too hot but tonight is back to normal and tomorrow rain and cooler, so we have had our three days of summer, this is the thing we are getting extreme weather conditions. From freezing to boiling, no in between. And the other night we had a really bad storm of thunder and lightning and, hailstones. They were like bullets coming from the sky. For those who have sight, apparently the sky was lit up like a real light show. New bulbs for Gods home may be?

 

 

 

 

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