Hello Bloggets. A lovely reader has asked me to write about
the subject that I am ending my blog on today, so, that to come!
Right now, I’m sitting in my back garden. It’s the strangest
day with regards to the weather. It’s meant to get to end 20’s in temperature
today, and it is really warm. But it’s so very windy. And seems to be dull. I’m
sitting here at my table in our garden and the wind is quite boisterous. My hair
is blowing everywhere all over my face, it’s a good job I don’t need to see to
type. It’s like a storm brewing. But the
heat in the wind is really odd. I almost love it. I love the difference in how
it feels. Normally when it’s hot, it’s really warm sometimes uncomfortable but
this breeze is so refreshing in a really odd way. I say odd because it feels as
if we are on another planet. This doesn’t feel like any other summer day I have
experienced in England!
The birds that are normally muffled by the traffic are
silenced. Of course, the traffic isn’t. unfortunately. It will be weird to
think in a few years’ time, what our busy road will sound like once the cars
are electric? Hub wants to look at another house soon, only because of the road
outside our back garden. But what if we move and the road becomes
silenced? I must say yesterday when we
were sitting in our garden, we couldn’t hardly hear each other talk it was that
bad. On a Sunday? But we raised our voices and did manage to have some lovely
conversations.
The fragrances in my garden are so nice the roses my Mum in
law planted for us are delightfully in bloom. They have a sweet smell and there
is another shrub that smells of pepper but in a nice way. And there are shrubs
that smell of lemon. My lavender hasn’t come out this year but it may be too
early for it. What would I know, I’m so far from gardener friendly? Well, I am
friends with gardeners, but I’m not the gardens friend as I am totally useless
when it comes to slugs, worms, spiders and wasps. Oh, sorry, apple trees,
shrubs and beautiful flowers….
Though my in door plants are coming on so well. Mind you, my
tomato plants should run in competitions. No, not run away, but run to the
finish line for best well, em, height? Regards to tomatoes well, let’s say,
thank goodness for grocery stores!
And now onto the subject I have been asked to write about by
my lovely lady from America. Judgement. Not in the biblical way, but in life
today. What is judgement? And are you judgemental? If you are then do you mind
when others are being judgemental towards you? Are there any people who have
never or are not judgemental? Surely everyone is to a certain extent? Isn’t
being judgmental just having an opinion? As long as you are not nasty about it
or what I call snooty. I know of people who forget their roots and look down at
people just because they can’t afford things but those people who look down
towards others, should remember when they were in that situation.
When we make judgements towards others that is in a negative
way that have consequences that will make other people feel really sad, low or
make them lack in confidence. That isn’t a good way to be judgemental, or, are
there no ways to put the words good and judgemental together?
I judge people who take drugs. I try to have an open mind
and ask why they got into that situation, but in most cases I try to avoid
those people, but I do have friends who are so lovely, who I care about, who do
dabble. I have had to put their habits to the back of my mind as to lose them
as a friend would be a negative thing, but if I knew they used drugs before I got
to know them, I would have ran, avoided them. I judge people who swear in every
situation no matter who is there to listen. I class them as uneducated. To swear
among friends who share the language, fine, but to swear in front of children
or respectable people who obviously don’t swear, well that to me is just ignorant
and bad manners. I feel if you don’t know how to talk without using bad words,
then you are not clever enough for me to spend time chatting to you. So, I’m
judgemental, but rather than cause a fuss, I will just walk away or blank their
words and make up my own opinion.
If you were talking
to a fifteen-year-old who confided in you they had lost their virginity to a
much older person, personally I wouldn’t want to scare them away. If they have
been braved enough if they have trusted me enough to confide in me, then I wouldn’t
want to scare them away, so, how would I handle that situation? What words
would I use and try to avoid?
“It seems your impulsivity may have got the better of you,
do you think a part of you will regret that later?”” that is kind of letting
that person know that you personally don’t agree with what they did. So, how
could we put this in a better way?
“And how did that make you feel?”” and then you have to be
ready for the answer. Be prepared to be shocked and then not to move your face….
that is the tough task not showing any emotion. Oh, my reminds me of when I studied,
we were put in situations where by we were in a room with other students. I was
told things that repulsed me. But my face had to remain still. Sadly, I can’t
do that with my Son, the slightest movement of my eyes or mouth, can let him
into my mind. Or could that be we are so close he reads me? For those who are
blind, how do we know about facial expressions? How do we learn them? It’s very
easy for a person who has never had sight to look so sad. Because we know what
faces look like, to quotes look normal, people who have or had, sight, act
without realising. Because I guess we don’t want to be judged.
At a basic semantic level, making judgements is being
judgemental! How do we know how to make constructive as opposed to problematic judgements?
The empathy dynamic approach to each personality, is
important. It’s crucial you know where they are coming from, their perspective,
history and experiences that went into their current situation. We are told to
judge the sin, and not the sinner. Gosh, for me this is difficult. I admire
those who can do that, but to create a sin, you have to be a sinner and to be a
sinner, surely that makes you them, a bad person? To be sinful isn’t a good feature.
And to say not to blame the sinner is to me an impossible act. It’s like a car
that crashes into someone and kills them, of course the car was the reason that
person died but it was the driver who directed the car. It is the sinner who
directs the act of the sin!
I was also asked are people who are blind able to be
judgemental? Well I think I have answered that one and are we as people who are
blind judged? Gosh yes. We are judged by everyone. Family friends well, who we
thought and think are friends, not true friends. Colleagues and strangers.
How do we as people without vision judge? We can’t see
people. But we hear them. We learn of their lifestyle. We can’t see what they
area wearing or their hairstyle but somehow, we feel what they wear, their
shoes, as they pass us their long hair or not so long hair may touch our arm
for example. What perfume aftershave they wear and always there are sighted
people who will tell us what people look like and for those who have never been
able to see, we judge others words descriptions of others by the language we know.
But words don’t paint visual pictures to people who have never had sight, but
our brains know negative words.
To live in a world where people who judge in a negative way
don’t exist well in a way that hurt others, would be lovely. Sometimes to judge
is to have an opinion. But sometimes we need to keep our judgements to ourselves,
I think. But there again, wouldn’t life be boring if we were all sweetness and
light?
For me personally, I love and I’m kind to those who deserve
it. I would do anything for those good people. So, am I judgemental? Heck, yes.
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