Good evening Bloggets. This blog is in two parts. The first
my diary, the second, gosh, just shows how my mind changes. How are you all
today? My beautiful guide dog is becoming so loving and very attached. Today when
I was sitting in the garden, I put my hand out as I felt something near me. It was
my beautiful little silky black lab. I spoke to her carried on writing and
about 12 minutes later, put my hand out, she was still sitting there, looking
at me. As if she was reading my mind. She never used to be like that, she was
always too hyper. Couldn’t sit still for more than two minutes. And she kisses
her Daddy all the time too. She is like a human, she kisses him when he comes
home or just before she takes herself off to bed. I love her so much. She is a
total miracle.
Hub home from a
couple of nights overnight with work and we are out with friends, not sure
where we are going yet, but I think it will be a pub. So, lime and lemon again
for me. It’s a real shame I can’t drive it is such a waist that I don’t drink
an yet I can’t drive.
That was written last night I totally forgot to publish
well, finish the blog. So, we did go out with friends. We went to our normal
lovely country pub. It was an interesting night.
Gosh the past few weeks so much to think about in life and
decide upon. Decisions have been made. I had lots to think about to get to where
we are now. But pen on paper it’s all done. stamp on and off we go…
Waiting hurts,
putting to the back of your mind hurts, but not knowing what to do when it
comes to deciding can be the most painful. I am a strong believer if something
feels right, go for it no matter what, if something feels bad, stay still but
what if you don’t feel good or bad about something? But you are being asked to
decide? Then what?
They say trust your instincts and follow your heart, but
what if both are not talking to you? I have no answers no advice but I am being
asked and pressured to decide. It’s tough. So, I just have been burying my head
not to make that decision. Walking away from the questions. But at the end of
the day I was cornered and there was no escape.
To make certain decisions in life one needs guidance, either
from your soul which talks sense or your heart, if you are guided by God or
angels, perhaps a close family member or clos friend. But what if you don’t get
answers from anything or anyone or if you do, and you just don’t feel it? Then what?
Are you ever pressured to conform? But what if you don’t
want to be part of life’s big picture? And that is where the pressure comes
into life.
I don’t think I have ever had such a tough decision to make
before where I have not known what to do and the past few weeks it seems as if
there has not been just one thing to think about but multi decisions to be
made. And when I don’t know how emotions will run, where I will be in life, in
my mind!
We talk about a flash
thought or a bolt from the sky, but what if everything is as simple and just as
infinitely complex as the processes particular rain drop or leaf fall from the
sky and tree, at any moment!
You can overthink something can’t you, or like
me, have no thoughts. It’s so not like me to be like that. And that has what
has made me panic. When you can see in your mind the road ahead, that’s fine,
or if you don’t know where to go but are open for a big adventure, great, but
what if you are exhausted with the journey of life and you just want to sit
down take a breath and close all doors to the world. But then someone keeps
opening the doors and coming in to pull you out and once again, ask questions
and they are so hungry for an answer. You pull away running to the door and
trying hard to close it but you are being pushed back out pulled out and
trapped. It’s time now, no escape, an answer is required!
Auliq Ice wrote. “If you care about what people think about
you, you will end up being their slave. Reject and pull your own rope.”” I love
that ideology.
Something else that was written, but I can’t remember by
whom? “Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs!””
“if you think you are
too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito!”” Dalai Lama
I personally translate that as we are much bigger than a
mosquito, but boy, can those small things bite? At the end of the day, we are
not small after all.
Whatever your plans for the weekend I hope they go well. X
No comments:
Post a Comment