Well, a week ago today,
I was dreading. Today, I’m half way there. But somehow that thought, doesn’t
seem to help!
Last night our clocks went back. Does that mean it will come
one hour earlier? I’m out with some friends this week, will that speed time up?
Why do I want my life to go faster? It’s crazy. I need to take a chill pill. My
chill pills were a talk of let’s say, em, not quite a discussion, as that is
normally more than one person, as is a debate, the talking that went on last
night, was a lecture I would say. I was to listen, obviously.
As I was about to order some delicious Saturday night treat,
to eat in front of watching the X Factor, my loving Husband spat his dummy out
and had a mini radgie!
Needless to say, I didn’t order my bags of lolly’s. He just
knocked all the fun out of life. Making my time without my baby worse. After he
calmed down, he explained that he loves me more than anything else in the world
and he wants to spend all the years he was without me, now, with me. Em, I’m
not intending going anywhere!
So, half way through my Sons holiday. Today he spent time on
a catamaran and had a lobster lunch on a private beach. Tomorrow he is swimming
with stingray and sharks. Shamrock reassured me the sharks have had their teeth
removed. Poor sharks. Cruel. I will be grateful for a text to say I’m fine Mum,
tomorrow after that.
So, a week ago today I was dreading. My Son was last minute
packing to leave for his holiday, now, we are half way through, half way there.
At least this week I have a schedule that I am looking forward to doing and I
have a lot of things planned to keep me occupied. I wouldn’t care, when he’s
home I only see him for ten minutes a day, but it’s per day. I often wonder if I
had two children would I be like this? I think it’s because for so long it was
just me and my baby. He was there when I had no one in the world and he’s my
only blood. He and I have been through so much together, we have a very special
bond. I guess I simply worship my Son. I don’t care what people say he’s my
child and a Mother should love their child more than anything else in the
world. The oven that gave birth to me didn’t want me and that has had a lasting
affect even though the Mum who adopted me loved me all the world, the fact is, I
can’t get it out of my system that I was rejected and that has made me closer
to my Son.
If only those who are about to adopt a child knew what they
were doing to their child for the future, the pain they are about to cause, and
there is no need to get pregnant please. Please protect yourself don’t treat
your body like a Library renting out, putting babies on loan.
Just saying!
Half way. Half to go!
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