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Monday 12 September 2016

HOLIDAY DIARY 2016 BY FIONA CUMMINGS (PART TWO)


Part two

Teen looked across the carpark as we got our cases and said.

“Mum. There is a lady with a sign which reads Toni and our sir name. Are we sharing?””

I said no, that wasn’t the plan. As we went to the sign, a really rude French person with breasts, really I’m not totally sure if it was a he or a she, and after our journey, I still wasn’t sure. There was a girl speaking in a Liverpool accent and at this point I wish I could do a video and do her accent. It was really strong and I can’t put across in writing just how it was, but she was going crazy on the phone to the taxi company because she said she had paid for a taxi back home and she went with that company because they spoke English and she was not told she was sharing. I agreed with her, but her tone was not very nice. We stood there like fools. It was really embarrassing. She knew we were there too. She said.

“No way am I sharing with another family. You said it was a taxi with an English speaking person and this driver doesn’t speak a word of English. I have two small children and this isn’t on. I don’t know these people and no way I’m paying almost £50 to share.”” I agreed again, but because she knew we were there, it just was uncomfortable. I thought, it’s a mini bus love. Get in we will pay half each mind you she had already paid. Well, long and short of it, Hub and I understood enough to know that the English speaking driver, car had broken down and she sub contracted another driver from another company. We piled in the large vehicle that was a 12 seater. Leather seats with air conditioning. Lovely, and the entertainment on the way was really awkward. So, those who know the Liverpudlian accent, imagine this?

The little boy in the back called on loud speaker his father. His Dad sounded absolutely drunk as a skunk. Oh no, in a mini bus there was no escape from the conversation. I was waiting for the man to swear or say something to the Mother as it was obvious by then that they were not together. As the two children told their Father about their dreadful taxi situation, it got worse. The little girl Teen said she was so cute, she had no teeth at the front so I guess about six, and long blonde hair. She took the phone, still on loud speaker, and she said.

“Dad. They swabbed me teddy for drugs! What happened if he had drugs on him? They would have kept him?

 

Then they swabbed me to see if I was a real Liverpool fan?””

 

Obviously that is what the Mother would have told the little girl. Bless her. Then the Mother said to her little girl. “Well you got teddy back, but you know how people from Liverpool speak? I love it, everything has an odd sound at the end. She went on to say, he got his little passport stamped and all was fine.  Then the classic. The little girl told her Dad. “They even took me bat and ball off me saying it was a weapon?”” The little boy chipped in and said. “Yeah, in me Mum got through wir er perfume bottle, and she could have murdered someone wir that?”

 

The children were so funny, but it was the fact that the sweet little six year old knew all about drugs and the word swab? No way I would have known that at her age? Her Mum was singing to the music on the radio. Teen said she looked about 23. Well the eldest boy was about nine. He was so serious. As for the girl she will grow to be a really moody lass, as her face spoke more to the window rather than her Dad. You could tell they didn’t have time for the person on the other end. They kept cutting him off but the Dad phoned back. It was the way he spoke? Like he had been drugged himself. Then the Mum started again saying it was disgraceful that she had to share. Then she asked the kids if they wanted to go and live in Australia with her? Hahahaha. They both said no. I got the impression that the kids lived with their grandparents as they did have manners and just a little thing like the little girl passed me my seat belt, oh but that one had loads of spare strap haha. I just got a feeling that these children had old values, OK they knew the drug terminology, but they were old fashioned. We asked the lady where she was staying. She told us a campsite. She saw where we were going as we pulled into the avenue and she turned to the children and said next year she may book one of these houses. She said to us, if the driver got lost, she would come to our house for the night…. Hahahhahaa. We got out of the bus. The driver told us it was 33 Euros. We said no way, or I said no way. Hub had already handed over the money. I was furious. I said you only are taking the lady across there pointing in what direction? I didn’t know, hahahaha. But we went to the campsite last year by accident and it is five minutes across the canal and we  were quoted to get to the house but first stop at the shop to stock up on food. We had not got to the shop with all of the hassle.

 

She didn’t even drop us off at the house, she pointed and told us to walk the rest of the way. She was so aggressive. She kept swearing in French and in English the only words she used. “Jesus Christ.”” Hub told me to leave it as the children had enough stress without me arguing in very poor French. I probably was telling the driver her Mother was a donkey or something. As she handed me my case, she pushed her rather ample chest against my elbow. Yep, they were that low. Hahahaha. But hu’uu’uu’ge. Rather resembled swinging cricket bats!

 

I asked Teen if it was a he or a she. He said he didn’t know, but the person was wearing a dress. Hahahaha. Her voice was deeper than Hubs and sounded as if she had swallowed sandpaper. Boy, she was rough.

 

Well, what happened to the poor family next, was a total nightmare and for that my heart hurts for them. More on that later.

 

So Should I phone our man who was to meet us at the house, or should we be adventurous and look ourselves for the house.  All of the back gardens had security gates and that is a laugh and a half, oh my wait for that story. Hahaha. Seriously, it is a hoot!!!

 

One intercom I was speaking in French asking if they were number 12? When I realised what I was saying, it translated as “What is it, number 12?”” oh well, she understood as she then started to tell us in French, just where number 12 was. Hahaha. Em. Help?

 

Long and short, we pushed a button and a familiar voice answered. Thank goodness, it was Andre and Joss in the background.

 

Electric gates opened and we were welcomed in the grounds by the family. And what a welcome. Oh my. Imagine. Never been to this house before and all I can hear is the sound of the gates closing, the sea in the background but that amazing tone of silence. Wow. No cars, busses tractors and so on. No pollution. The fragrances were spectacular. Like lily’s, there were lemon oils and other herbs. Palm trees swayed as we passed and crunched along the gravelled drive. Drive? Car park. Seriously, you could park nine cars. There were fragrances I had never smelled before. Oh gosh, wow. We just kept walking, I asked Teen was this their grounds, or were were sharing that too? Haha. He replied. Mum. This is their garden, wow, Mum Dad, this is stunning. I can’t breathe it’s so stunning.”” Then as we climbed loads of steps, Teen went quiet. So did I, but it wasn’t for the same reason that Teen was quiet. For me, every breath had left my body, the heat and exertion took everything I had. Thank God for the treadmill leading to our holiday? As for Teen, he was stunned. The doors opened. I can only say it was like walking into a movie scene. Teen turned to me and said. “Mum. I can’t believe this place.””

 

Andre and  Jos filled the fridge with cool drinks as well as red, rose and white wine. They bought us delicious ice cream and there was a cupboard full of flavoured teabags as well as ordinary bags and so many coffee pods for the machine there was also a juice machine. The kitchen was so modern an yet small but the dining room was huge as well as the sitting room. Teens room was on the ground floor along with his bathroom. As for ours? Heck, upstairs that was so dangerous. Gosh, this house was not blind friendly. And I was to learn more later about just how dangerous it really was.

 

Our bedroom had two balconies which had seating which looked over the sea and sands. We had an open plan bathroom in our room. It was massive, the whole room was the length of our downstairs back home in England.

 

Have you heard the children’s nursery rhyme, ten in the bed? Well you couldn’t get ten in our bed, but five for sure.

 

There were low beams on the ceiling and Teen had to bend down. I was a tiny bit off them and Hub just scraped by without touching them. As for the shower, we were to find out that washing our hair was a challenge. Haha. Teens bathroom had a sink in it like a double his and hers. It was the shape of a wave. In our room we had a huge sailing boat and it was all a nautical theme.

 

Andrei and family made us feel very welcome. They are lovely people and they even offered to take us to the shop to buy goods. Hub and Teen left with the family and I sat on the veranda next to the pool which looked over the sands and onto the sea. Oh the smells were simply brilliant. Refreshing and I wanted to bottle them up. I could feel all of my stress leaving my body. The heat was out for show but I was under a shady area on a comfortable sofa big enough for at least five people. Everything was huge, all of the furniture. Bought for me coming? Haha. No, even I sat on the dining chair and there was room at each side.

 

Ages later Teen and Hub arrived home and said they bought the ladies flowers that was so sweet. Hub is really a kind man. Then the fun began. Discovering the house and grounds.

 

The house was not square or oblong. It was like a zig zag. Gosh, trying to learn your way around when you can’t see a thing was really a challenge and by the end of the night, we were both exhausted. We got lost but we just shouted on each other. Haha. Silly Hub made the sounds of a vehicle reversing so I would find him. Good job the neighbours were far.

 

We decided to get changed for dinner and go and look for the village. We were out of it this visit and were not really sure which way to go.

 

It took a good six minutes to leave the house and grounds. Turned left and just walked. Teen did so well. He found the place where all the shops and restaurants are and we ate for the boys a lovely meal. As for me? Apart from the UK, I’m sure there are no other countries oh, apart from India as well, who do vegetarian food. So I had a green salad and chips where as Teen and the Hubster ate three courses. Fish soup with crusty bread and cheese to sprinkle on then fish for mains. Hub had his main and said it was in the top ten food for most delicious meal ever and he has travelled all over the world with his work. Teen had a fish lasagne. He loved it. Then they had desert and I had fresh fruit salad. The atmosphere was wonderful. All French speaking that is why I love that aria because there are mainly French people who holiday there.  I don’t like going abroad and listening to people speaking English it’s too close to home When in Rome do as the Romans do. Or in our case, French.  

 

The ducks swam in the canal beside us and fish jumped out of the water flopping back in again. A bit higher and one would be already on the plate. The awful thing was, especially as a vegetarian, there was also duck on the menu. I don’t get meat eaters… I couldn’t, not even when I ate meat could I eat something sat or swimming next to me… Hub was fine and Teen struggled a little but once he tasted the food, he was Okay too!!

 

The thought of the long walk home and now it was dark, would we find the house? All the houses along there are the same? I was a little anxious as of course we depended on Teen to remember the way back. In my mind I had a map so together we walked along passing the open bar with a singer on the microphone and happy holiday folk clapping in time with the beat. The air felt warm and welcoming as the locals passed us saying bonsoir! I was delighted that Teen really was getting into trying to speak the lingo. I was really good at languages as a child and wanted so badly for my Son to continue with that ability, but sadly he disliked languages at school, but on this holiday, he was brilliant.

 

Low hanging trees stroked our head as we passed under the moonlight. Teen said he could see the stars so clearly. The sea was rather excited as it passed by in a hurry. There were people playing grass games to the left and so many dog walkers. I thought of our dogs, but it would be so hot for them and they would not be able to work as they had not been taught the route.

 

Question was, had we remembered the route? Well by this point, gosh I was shattered. Teen doesn’t walk, he runs. He said he was walking slowly, really? I held his arm and Hub mine. The street narrowed and exquisite flowers and shrubs were close by.

 

Teen took a key and pressed the button. Wow, gates opened and we entered the grounds. He found our house and in the dark too. We looked around the back of the gardens. There was lights along the paths. A beautiful pond and a huge palm with a leather bed to lounge on in the sun. Around another corner and there was an outside kitchen with a table with a lovely cloth on it and four chairs. A proper sink cooker and cupboards. In the cupboards were all the crockery you wanted and there was a candle in the shape of an elephant, similar to what I have at home.

 

Then the sitting aria. It was under a slate roof with open sides. A really comfortable sofa. Gosh it was amazing, there were tall lamps to read under and really nice high back seats with coffee tables scattered some with lamps on. The garden went off all over to the sides. It was like a secret garden. It was ten at night and as still and warm as the warmest day imaginable. It was so peaceful and I took in the French lavender. Then a look at the out houses. There was another building with three further bedrooms in and a sitting room as well as two bathrooms and another part with a forth bedroom and the washing house with cupboards of supplies that Andrei told us to use if we ran out. There was a very scary cellar that went under the pool. I didn’t venture there….

 

As we entered the narrow staircase lights came on Teen said from the top balcony facing the back garden, the sight was stunning.

 

Into the house, sat out the front listening to the sea for a while and then to find our bedroom. Hahaha. Teen asked if we needed help, we said no it was fine, I locked up all the doors, as there were many and seriously trying to find them all was a challenge. Got to our room up the two flights of stairs without a rail to hold and a drop to the tiled downstairs was not a thought that I enjoyed. The bedroom was so lovely. Towels and bedding so posh and the place was immaculately clean, this is my main thing. I hate staying at dirty places and I have been very lucky that only twice in my life I have stayed in holiday places that were not clean. This was as if brand new. Oh I was so going to enjoy this week. It would be some kind of freedom for me. I found a marble dressing table in our room it was beautiful. There was a huge sailing ship made from wood there and angels and Buddha’s as well as elephants so home from home for me.

 

Now, were the lights on or off? Good question that I didn’t think about until I was totally in the suit that I was born in.

Happy campers…

 

Some people had tents on the beach, but they were so quiet and well behaved. So unlike England shamefully. I’m really not sure where our social behaviour has gone wrong, but there in France it was so perfect, I really do think it is that area too.

 

The next day Hub and Teen went to the bakers they found one fifteen minutes away. Came back with French bread and delicious pastries and cheese. We drank French coffee outside on the veranda and planned a gentle day of chilling. Pool time.

 

Oh my, the pool. Again, no rail to hold as I went down into the welcoming cool water and gosh, it was so deep? Good job we are all tall. I am five feet nine and had to stand doing an impression of a ballerina. Hahaha. No comments please Bloggets?

 

It was perfect loved it. As people played on the beach we enjoyed our very own pool.

 

Then after we dried out we took a walk on the beach, oh boy, oh my…. Em. Okay, what was separating us from the twenty foot drop onto the sand? A thin wire… Not wanting to spoil the view, Andre doesn’t want to put anything there. There was nothing to say where the drop was and open the gate not safe, there were fifteen steps or so onto the sand. One false move and you were off the steps as there was an open gap. I held onto the rope for my life. Hahaha. At the bottom of the steps was a basket full of kid’s toys, not sure I would take kids there, but you know what? No one took the toys. There was a boat too that you stand on and paddle. So whilst Hub and I walked along the edge of the sea, Teen went hunting for shells on a near by island. It was funny to see him try to ride his boat. Then Hub had a try. A beautiful afternoon and then time to eat again, but time for that awful long hot walk. Or in Teens case. Run.

 

We did the markets where I bought some lovely items. A suede handbag and a folding wooden bread basket as well as the gift shops where I bought some very unusual pottery. Teen bought Shamrock some earrings that are really pretty, made from shell. And on night three, oh my goodness. That is where I could start to write a very scary novel. It’s been a while since I was so afraid

To be continued.

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