PARIS

How can I begin my tribute which in earnest I suppose means nothing to those who have gone through absolute hell on earth this past week? Though I’m sure my words are lacking in helpful thoughts I hope those reading will know how deeply saddened I am by what disgraceful behaviour has took place in Paris on Friday the 13^th of November this year of 2015.

 

The monsters that carried out attacks throughout Paris I know will be rotting slowly in hell right now. That doesn’t help the poor families who are now in total agony because of the loss of their family member or friend. Not only the loss, but in which way the pure evil cowards took the lives of these people who have nothing to do with Government decisions or matters of war. These people are quotes normal people who were going about their own business.

 

It’s a tragedy as the last murders on the beach in Tunisia, killing almost forty people shot someone I know of, and as for Paris murders? I know personally one of the men who were shot; he is a lovely friend and colleague. He is a Frenchman but with Muslim origins. He is a guy I met when on a business trip with my husband when we went to Norway. He was one of the brilliant intelligent people I felt honoured to meet with. Thankfully, his life was spared, as he was shot in the arm as he visited the concert sat in the balcony and the evil shot at him. This guy is blind and I can’t imagine the fear which surrounded him at the time and I’m sure will go on for a long time if not forever.

 

This guy speaks five languages with absolute brilliance and to think that that is how close we are to the evil murders, firstly to know of someone and then to be able to say that you have had dinner and spent time with such a good guy, makes me feel sick. This is not anonymous anymore these are people who have touched our hearts in more than one way. Not just because we feel pain for their loss but because we hear their voice in our head still as I recall his words to my Husband and myself during a meal.  

 

I have no words left to say on this matter. There is no language that can be spoken to such people. They are all beyond communicating with. I just wish that the Muslim community would all come out in force and condone such people. I really do. So those who have gone too far down the road of destruction. It’s too late for them but for those who are just starting the journey I’m sure it would help? We need people on the Television newspapers and so on to voice their abhorrence over such matters.

 

  

DIARY OF PAIN HURT AND BEAUTY

Good day Bloggets. This is the first day in I can’t even remember when I have lifted the lid of my lap top. I can’t even begin to tell you just how ill I have been. I’m still pretty much in a bad way but nothing like I was. I seem to be able to do something and then I am exhausted. Little things like eat some breakfast. Afterwards I’m totally out of breath. Ok my Husband has been amazing and I feel blessed to have him. Though the guilt of me knowing he has been doing everything in the house of late is almost unbearable. I know I should go to the Doctors. Yesterday the thought of doing that long walk in this wind scared me. I can’t hear a thing in the wind and get much disoriented. Anyway, today I had woken to a lesser cough my voice was made to be understood for the first time in a while I could talk without coughing. I decided to call our Doctors to make an appointment. I tried to phone from half eight until eleven. Just engaged all of the time. To be honest, I’m one hundred per cent sure if I had have got through, I would be told just to come and sit and wait. I hate that as you can sit for up to three hours. And then nine out of ten times, they tell you there is nothing wrong and to go home. Well this time I know there is something wrong. I know I had the flu and now I think I have something off the back of that. I’m wheezing like you wouldn’t imagine. My stomach feels torn and my rib cage is bruised. At least this week my throat doesn’t hurt and I’m not deaf in one ear like last week. It’s been two weeks now and the part that I don’t like is how weak I am left feeling.

 

My poor Husband hasn’t had much sleep at all as I have coughed all night every night for the past two weeks. It’s a cough like nothing on this earth. So powerful leaving me with a head ache. I should have gone to the Doctors and sat and waited on Friday then I bet I would be feeling human again. But me and Doctors? I hate them I’m totally allergic towards them and they have an immediate dislike towards me.

 

Thankfully my Hub and Son are OK and haven’t caught what I have this did make me a little anxious, thinking could it be something more sinister? I have been burning up and my legs have been left with what feels like bruises. This is another reason I have been worried. Not worried enough to sit in the surgery for three hours though. I will keep trying to call the Drs and if they bother to answer which they will soon as then it’s too late for an appointment for today so they tell you to call in the morning and you call and then it’s engaged all day again until it’s too late for those days’ appointments. I can’t stand our system.

 

So for the next part of my diary. Two weeks ago Hub brought home the most beautiful guide dog in the world. In fact, he is the most beautiful dog in the world. I have never seen such beauty. He is like a big bear. He came to us as his previous owner couldn’t look after him anymore... So he was a sad little or big boy. Hub wanted to make sure he came into a home full of love as that is what the big lad needed. And oh boy he got it. Hub is on the Guide Dog list to board. I’m not sure how much more of that we can do. The first dog was fine as that was for one night, but two weeks? No. Now big lad is part of our family Teen loves him I’m sure more than he has any of our dogs and that includes BB, AKA Hannah, my first dog I got when he was five. And little Wagga as well as our darling Suki, AKA LC. This lad is enormous. He is like a bear. He has hair longer than mine. And when it’s brushed, it is like silk. He is so gentle and loving. He wraps himself around your arm or leg to cuddle you. He is so playful. Wagga has had the best time of late. And you know Waggs. She is so silent. Well not when it comes to the big lad. The noises of delight she has been making, she is such a tart?

 

Big lad has learned how to open the dog cupboard where his treats are, and he knows how to open door handles into the Livingroom. He also has learned that he isn’t allowed in the kitchen so will sit at the door. He brings me my slippers and carries his bed around with him. Oh he is adorable. I so badly wish he could be Hubs new Guide dog, but sadly not.

 

Big lad leaves us on Friday. He is going to a new guide dog owner. I pray she will love him half as much as we love him. Hub absolutely adores him. I must say, I haven’t been too kind to Hub about him as I really wanted Hub to train with him but sadly this big fella isn’t a  town worker the work load Hub has, wouldn’t suit him.

 

I just wish I could sit him down and tell him he will be leaving us, but will be going to a person who will have him I hope all of his life and love him forever. I break my heart each time I think about the dog leaving us and what will go through his head?  First he leaves his owner and is all confused then he comes to us and now he will leave us.  Hub has promised me the person he is going to is a lovely person very sweet and loving. Oh I hope so. This just brings it all back to me, how on earth anyone can be a guide dog puppy walker. Have a dog for a year then give it up? Two weeks and I’m done. Thank goodness the puppy walkers can do this as without them we couldn’t have our guide dogs.

 

Hubs Mum and Dad used to puppy walk and they had I think fourteen dogs in total. All of them passed. But each time they gave a dog away, they hurt. Hurt? I’m blooming devastated. It’s the fact he looks so like Long Chops without the long chops. His face is more rounded like a bear. A teddy bear. He walks like LC his tail is like hers too long like a fox tail. I give him a cuddle before bed and he wraps his huge top part of his body around my neck. He is a darling loving baby. I feel like my heart again is being punished. Sometimes I wish I was born with a heart of ice.

 

To try and cheer myself up I am going to visit the chocolate factory in my mind and write later about it.

 

I hope you all are OK? Fit and well? With love till later. X

EVENING DIARY OF TEARS

Good evening Bloggets. Why or why did I say this was the first year I didn’t cry for my Dad? I have never stopped all day. There is a reason for that too but sadly I can’t say here why. As for the news at the weekend? Again that has been squashed.

 

Our Son has been a darling today. He has looked after his old Mum. He has matured into such a beautiful young man. I adore that lad. I was talking with a lady yesterday who was devastated as she had to allow her Son to carry out his dream of joining the forces. She isn’t coping with it at all.

 

That is as unusual as normally when you see forces Mums they say they are so proud and they act all happy. I always say how on earth can they be happy? There was talk of my Son joining the army. Oh, there was fire in the Fifi house that month. The lady yesterday   SAID how could she stop his dream? Wow. Em. That is selfless. As a Mum I would want to protect my child no matter what age. And of course he could join the army and be fine or stay at home and be knocked over or in a car crash, but sometimes I think it’s like giving a toddler a box of matches. Being happy with them going off to the army.

 

I can’t ever imagine watching your child go off to the army. I can’t imagine how Mums cope with that. Yesterday was the first time I have ever heard a Mother saying how she isn’t managing with it and I felt for her. I mean, what could I say? Normally I find words to comfort, but yesterday? No. Nothing. I felt so helpless.

 

Hub had a tough day at work today and had to make a difficult decision. He didn’t like it. And I hated it. Tomorrow, he has a busy day and if I were a witch Doctor, I would put a spell over his place of work to give strength. And power to the staff. I hope they find their voices and work them. Teen did today and oh boy he did well. I wish I could be so strong. To know what one wants and know what one needs to lead to get what one will get. It’s too late to think of a more eloquent way of saying that.

 

I’m off to lock up the house say goodnight to the moon and hit my pillow with my head. I pray that I won’t cough all night bruising my lungs stomach and back of my throat. I hope that tomorrow I wake without a hammer hitting on my forehead. I really hope my voice will return to normal. I’m so tired of this now. I am so behind in my work and volunteering, sadly it is all about talking either to a group or over the phone. I tried today to make some calls and it was embarrassing. Only every three out of five words could be heard.

 

Before I go some words.

Why do we close our eyes when we sleep, dream, pray and kiss? Because the most beautiful things are not seen, but felt only by heart.

 

Too many of us are not living our dreams, because we are living our fears.

  

I guess that is me in a nut shell. Having said that I have done some things this year that I would have never even thought of doing last year and I’m so delighted and privileged that I have been given the opportunity of carrying out this task.

 

Do one thing this week you would never ever even think about doing. Let me know next week what it was and how you got on?

Contact me here or email

visionsforfuture@googlemail.com

 

Sleep soundly Bloggets. X

A CANDLE FOR DAD BY FIONA CUMMINGS

A CANDLE FOR DAD

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Another cake another candle

Another kiss on your photo on the mantle

I hear your voice though it’s fading now

You were the best you made me proud

If I couldn’t see you in the crowd

I would find you still

You radiated warmth from a chill

Your words were spoken

And I beamed with delight

When you left I was broken

In my heart someone turned out the light

Who would make me feel safe now?

Hold me tight

The pain was unbearable

You were so adorable

Made everyone laugh

Stories of your childhood having a tin bath

 Your friends who were so poor they had no shoes

You loved a bet on the horses though money you would lose

Your funny little sayings

I wished I had written down

The fear as you worked under the ground

You would take your bate

Wrapped in brown paper and some string

Bread and jam and a drink in a tin

You had a heart of gold not a bad bone within

Daddy I miss you so very much

There’s not a day goes by

 When I don’t long for your hand to touch

Today would be your birthday

And I wish I could bring you back

But wherever you are now

I hope your days are sunny

 Your nights are black

With silver stars and a blue moon

You have a beautiful room

 In a house for a king

Fed foods fit for the Gods

 And your horses always win

Wherever you are Dad

Don’t be sad

Keep that smile wide

For you gave me such pride

Blow out your candle and make a wish

I’m blowing that kiss

Catch it, its heading to you

I hope all your dreams come true

Dad I love you

 

Copyright Fiona Cummings 2015

THE CAT AND THE CHRISTMAS CAKE FIONA CUMMINGS

Hello Bloggets. It’s about one in the afternoon here. I am so weak again. I do too much and then it back fires. My head is splitting eyes are a tiny bit better. Only one now hurts. My ear is still ringing but I can hear a little better out of it now. My stomach pains are almost gone but I’m left with severe joint pains. I have no energy. My darling Husband got up at silly hour during the night to bring me fruit and cool drink. I had such a fever. He also got up half an hour earlier to hoover the floors and do the dish washer as he knows how I struggle coping with the fact that it needs doing and I really can’t be bothered. Physically I just can’t put one foot in front of the other. I have to be well soon. I have too many commitments and as I said yesterday I gave it my all throughout the day so that I could do what was needed to be done so today I suffer.

 

I went to bed at ten that isn’t like me and I was in so much distress. I couldn’t breathe at all hardly in a normal fashion for sure. My asthma was preventing me from doing so. But today, my asthma seems to be better. Thank goodness. My throat is worse though. I am craving fruit yogurts and cold drinks. Gosh, last time I was like this, I was pregnant.

Em. No. Unless a baby Jesus will be born to me on December the 25^th?

 

 I’m not sure how long our blinds have been closed in our front room. No wonder yesterday I couldn’t hear our Canary, he’s Irish you know? Smile. Singing as he doesn’t when it’s dark. No blooming wonder the poor thing has been so quiet. I only learned as I went to him before as I walked to the window, I could feel the closed blinds as the air became thicker.

 

Today would have been my darling Dads birthday. I haven’t cried yet and hope this will be the first year I haven’t and I won’t again. Don’t get me wrong, I do through the year but of late, I have had a close spiritual feeling towards my Dad and that has been so comforting. I totally believe that he has helped me and my family this year. I still wish I could buy him his jumper and slippers that I got him every birthday. Wherever he is right now, I hope he is waltzing and smiling his way through his day.

 

We ordered a Pizza last night well, two. My dog ate a slice from the cooker hob. Now, it was one of two left and she would have taken two but Hub ate it earlier. We never allow her in there but because I’m not on the ball, she got in. So naughty she was and she got wrong. She is so tiny I really don’t know how she can jump that height.

 

The house is so warm. I haven’t had the heating on since yesterday and the temperature is 18.5C.

Outside must be higher than that. It’s crazy for November. It should be max 5.

 

Do you know what I opened last night? My Mum would have gone mad. A Christmas cake. I don’t care. It was a really cheap one from Morrison’s only £4 with icing and marzipan on it too. Mind you there are not really any nuts or fruit, not much anyway, hence the price of it.

 

My friend Trix has made her own. I love that tradition. My ex Mother in law used to make the best cake. It was delicious. Only trouble was, when she gave you a slice, it was as thin as a wafer and the cats had tried it out first….

 

Thanks to my lovely friends who have sent well wishes. Love and hugs to you all. Virtual of course, as real ones, you will catch what I have.

 

Later gators. X

 

WORDS BEFORE BED FIONA CUMMINGS

Good evening Bloggets. I made a quiche tonight so I must be feeling better. Just need to keep reminding my body so.

 

Hub has had a long day in Peterborough long because he got  a taxi to the train station at quarter to eight this morning and didn’t leave the office till well after five and when he got to the station, because of winds here, at this end, his train was delayed. So it was half seven tonight when he walked through the door. Just like the bad old days.

 

He was due to go to the cinema tomorrow with a friend to see the latest James Bond movie Spector? But sadly they told him today it wasn’t audio described. That was the View Cinema told him, not Bond himself. Hub wasn’t impressed. He is phoning the manager tomorrow as he was sure it was described, and the woman on the other end of the phone, didn’t even know what audio description was…. When you call the cinema, they ask you to press hash if you need wheelchair access. For blind or deaf people? Tough. Anyway Hub pressed wheelchair and got through to a desk girl who wasn’t shall I say on the same planet he asked to speak with her supervisor she came on the phone was as bad as her colleague. Hub asked to talk with the manager, he/she wasn’t there. It shouldn’t be so difficult these days. A few years ago we went and asked for audio. We were given earphones and were told that they the staff didn’t know how to turn it on. Really.

 

The wind is wild as my wind chimes are going crazy but the temperature is 15 C so it’s really warm for this time of year.

 

I’m giving a talk tomorrow. I so hope I feel better than I do now. I am getting better, but it’s so slow. Right now I sound so husky and I’m not sure how my voice will carry. I’m deaf in my right ear too so any questions????

 

May have some news of interest by the weekend. Stay tuned.

 

A few thoughts before sleep.

 

I was reading that people, who liked to go to bed late, normally go to their pillow with dark words running through their head. So is this you? You can purposefully redirect your repetitive or intrusive negative thoughts by firstly going to bed a little earlier. Try to move your bedtime schedule into fifteen minute increments.

 

 So you are not tired, it’s all about getting into that pattern. Try taking a positive or gentle book to bed or some relaxing music, not a love song that will remind you of a past love, just something kind of natural.

 

Self-talk. Popular with cognitive behavioural    therapists.

 So simply talk sweet words to yourself. OK your partner may look at you in an odd way, so pre warn them you are going to do it.

 

Breathing techniques are said to work. And relaxing your muscles from head to toe.

 

Remember don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. Mistakes are proof that you are trying. Never be afraid to fall apart as then you can rebuild how you wanted to be all along. If people are trying to bring you down, it only means that you are above them. Finally, you are yourself. Be that and stop trying to be someone else. Nighty night Bloggets.

 

FLU

Hello Bloggets. I hope this finds you better than what I am? At least now I have my voice. Gosh I have been so ill. Only last week I was saying that I hadn’t really been too ill with colds since Hub and I got together. Oh it started with a sore throat it killed me. Like swallowing glass. Then I began to cough and then sneeze. Then my asthma was affected and I couldn’t breathe. I never need medication for Asthma but I should have had it this week for certain. I have been so very ill. Even spent two days in bed this is so unlike me. I feel like my weekend has been stolen time with Hub but I had no choice. I couldn’t even put one foot in front of the other. My ribs were in agony. I am deaf in one ear. My head has been pounding, my eyes are red hot feel as though they are bleeding and have been kicked by someone in pointy shoes, my legs and arms are really hurting and I sound like I should be on some kind of breathing machine. Today I’m able to write. I haven’t even been on my lap top. Thankfully I feel as though I can today but can’t do housework it would be stupid of me to even think about it. I’m wheezing like someone with emphysema. I’m starving all of the time and yet can’t eat as feel so sick. My whole body aches. From my head to my legs. I feel as though I have been kicked by three horses not four or two, but three. But at least today my humour is back. I’m fed up though as for seven days now I have been unwell. It’s been flu for sure.

 

I’m meant to have a flu jab but this is something I totally don’t believe in. I always struggled when my Son was a baby with these needles we as parents are meant to feel comfortable with. When my darling Hub used to travel abroad to faraway lands, I used to fear what they were injecting him with and after he worked out in those countries for some years, he really began to get ill. I swore it was the injections they gave him.

 

I have missed you all. How have you been? Today my canary has been so quiet, I hope he hasn’t got bird flu???

 

I have never known him be this quiet.

 

My Son bought me some flowers over two weeks ago I think almost three and they are still alive.

 

Friday night, my voice came back though I did still sound as though I had been out on a heavy night on the smokes. Our friends came over for a meal. It was lovely evening but boy; did I feel so ill in the end? Saturday and Sunday I went to bed after breakfast and stayed there until dinner time. My Husband used to do a load of cooking when we first met. Now? He won’t I don’t understand why? I wouldn’t care, he’s a brilliant cook. I tell you, the way I’m feeling now, I really don’t know what or how I can cook tonight. I wish I didn’t feel so guilty.

 

 My little Waggs has been on a walk with a dog walker. So at least that has tired her out. As I haven’t worked her since Friday.

 

OK short blog sorry. I’m really shattered. Just feel awful. Doesn’t help that the air around here is totally horrid. I’m a through and through country bumpkin and love the fresh air. Can’t deal with the pollution we have around here. To some it would be fine, but to me it’s suffocating. 

 

I hope soon I will be back to normal, well as normal as a Fifi Blogget can be. Later gators. X

 

NIGHT NIGHT SLEEP TIGHT

 Good evening Bloggets. Our friends came around and we had a lovely evening. Hub wanted me to cancel and I’m glad I didn’t as I was looking forward to this evening. We had a lovely meal. I didn’t talk all day to preserve my voice and I must say, I did sound like I said in an earlier blog, as though I smoked forty cigarettes per day, but at least most words came out tonight, this morning and even when I spoke to my dog in the afternoon, my mouth was going but nothing was coming out of it…

 

All the medication I am taking today helped.

 

So tonight was lovely food and even better company. Teen even joined in and it was an all-round good night that went far too fast.

 

I will tell you something funny though, we were only blooming sitting in the dark in the conservatory for ages before I realised that there wasn’t a light on? Hhahahhahaha. Our friend said he thought we were going for the romantic look as I did have a candle burning. Oh and that was a good one. Took me three matches to light the blooming thing.  I asked Hub how you know when it’s lit. He said to put my hand over it to see if it’s hot. Well that’s good; how high do I hold my hand? Knowing me I would burn it? Well, anyway in the end we got there.

 

We had some good music and a most enjoyable evening and best thing is, He and Hub planned an evening out next week just the two of them and four of us are going out to a very interesting place I will blog about when I know more.

 

Twitter. Now then I have touched on this before. I do tweet my blogs. How? A blooming miracle that is how. I really don’t get Twitter and Tweeting is what my canary does. He’s Irish you know? ()

 

When it is said that someone mentions you, what does that mean? OK they say your name, and then, what?

 

 My friend Luke may be able to let me know if he is reading this now, as he is a Twitter king. I simply don’t get it. I just press # a lot and attach words to it randomly….. Am I doing the correct thing? I mean, when I manage to read through some of what is written, it’s like double Dutch. I am none of the wiser. I just wish someone could explain it to me in a very very simple way.

 

I’m going now to bed with a hot drink and pills. And I hope I don’t keep my poor Hubby awake all night with my coughing. Tomorrow let’s hope I am back to normal, well, as normal as one Fifi could be and I can at least shout at my boys? Really, it’s so frustrating; they are getting away with murder….

 

I hope you all have a lovely weekend full of love and caring people around you, if you haven’t got those kinds of people, I care and I’m here. Will chat tomorrow nighty night. X

FRIDAYS DARLEK DIARY

Good day Bloggets. I hope you are all feeling better than what I am?

Yesterday I was with some lovely people in the office. I felt dreadful. As so badly wanted to do what I could to help, an yet so badly didn’t want to pass on whatever I have. As the day progressed, I felt decidedly worse then, the long one hour and fifteen minutes journey back home. I had to make phone calls and honestly, I sounded like I was smoking forty cigarettes per day. Today, well, I’m much worse. All night I coughed and coughed and it really hurts. I have asthma just a little, but when I’m like this, it’s as though someone is sitting on my chest forbidding me from breathing.  My head is killing and my throat feels like I am swallowing glass.  I’m sneezing nonstop too and my eyes are on fire. I look a butte.

 

So I had to take action today and head off to our chemist as we have guests coming tonight for dinner. So a lot of preparation for their visit just making sure everywhere is tidy. When you can’t see, there could be a right mess next to you and unless you put out your hands to find whatever, you wouldn’t know. I’m always finding cups lying around left by mainly a young lad in our house, but on occasion, they have been left by an older lad…..

 

It was only when I headed out that it occurred to me. How on earth am I going to instruct Waggatail where to go?

 

Oh my word. I sounded like a darlek. But worse as only every six words I spoke, one of them could be herd. So it would be like this.

“Wagga **** *****? Find ***? Where’s *** ***r?

 

After I was crashed into a wheel bin, I made Waggs go back, with hand gestures. We did it again, she went to the down kerb as we had to go onto the road to avoid the bin and she found the kerb back again without me having to tell her thankfully.

 

Weaving in and out of the buildings avoiding the awful steps that you could if you misjudged or your dog misjudged, knock your block off. Thankfully ones block was still in order as we arrived at the chemist.

 

Now, how to tell the lady what I wanted? And, how to stop Wagga from doing her usual thing as we enter a building, stop her from eating the carpet? With no voice.

 

Anyway, I made myself clear. Came away £15 lighter but as the lady told me with pride.

“We don’t charge for our carrier bags.”

 

It was a nice walk back kind of blew the cobwebs off a little though it did start to rain. But the wind coold me down, I had such a temperature.

 Our neighbour in the street with the parrots, well one now as he got rid of the other two, sold them. He was feeding a seagull. It was a baby and couldn’t fly. I hope it will be OK? Though I’m not a fan of seagulls. They are flying rats.

 

Talking of seagulls, have you seen the price of Christmas turkeys?

Okay, believe me, there is a connection….. Isn’t there? The most expensive turkey I saw online in our grocery shop the other day was £140. My Son asked his Dad how those kinds were so deer. Hub answered because it is what they have been fed. I then said must be caviar? Even if that were the case, that price is shocking.  As for geese, my brother in law sadly shoots them and sells them on I’m not sure how much for but the butcher buys them and they are around £50 plus. For some people that is a week’s shopping….

 

I guess you can make a lot with them though, when we buy a turkey, Hub does all the cooking of it. I refuse on principle. I cook meat for the boys all year but won’t touch a poor turkey. Hub makes all sorts with it. And the lads eat like kings for a few days.

 

My pumpkin soup I made wasn’t very nice. Not sure what I did different this year.

 

I can’t believe its Friday again. Seven weeks today we lost our beautiful Long Chops AKA Suki. Our Just giving page has reached

• Total raised£1,080.63

  https://www.justgiving.com/peter-osborne/

 

That is amazing and so very kind of those who have given to the charity. To name a puppy after our Suki. Who I hope will grow to be a wonderful pair of eyes for a blind person. If that puppy will be half as good as our LC, she will be a champion. There isn’t a day goes by when we don’t think or talk about her. Hub hasn’t been able to get out leisurely for those seven long weeks. Little Wagga still misses her and has really changed. She is still ever so slightly subdued.

 

My Husband is a boarder now for guide dogs in training. Do you think that is something you could do? It’s basically bed and breakfast for the guide dogs whilst they train during the day. It gets them used to being in a homely environment rather than kennels. It’s better for the dog too as a home is a happier place and I know Guide Dogs in our area are desperate for people who can board these wonderful dogs. They would be about one years old, when they come to you.  The trainer would collect them from you each day to train them and bring them back about tea time. If you can help and you live in the UK, please call your local Guide Dog team?

 

OK that is my PR for the day, there is so much goes on in the Guide Dog world that most people don’t know about. It’s not just about dogs. Guide dogs are the root and growing from that wonderful oak tree are so many different branches.

 

Talking of trees, there were so many leaves on the ground today. Just a little wind today and whoosh. It was like walking through cornflakes. Crunching all the way.

 

Did you hear the story last night or yesterday I should say, about the little girl baby, with cancer? For the first time her genes were changed and thanks to modern science, now she has no cancer at all in her little body. Without this future treatment, the baby would have died. It’s amazing. The only problem is why they have to call it. “Designer genes? That terminology is just dreadful. The treatment hasn’t been approved yet but in my opinion, saving that babies life, what more approval do we need? I mean, there is the long term affect, who knows what the outcome will be? But if negative, hopefully we will have moved on again by then and can fix whatever is wrong.

 

My Hub and I have this discussion. He says if we save everyone what will happen to the world? Already there are too many people, well, I say, let’s get rid of the bad and keep the good? Simple, right?

 

What’s in the news this week about Retinitis Pigmentosa?

Worms have been used to research for RP

The worms are a platform for testing. They were given the RP Gene and now are being examined and will be used for experimenting on…. It’s kind of a little sad that we are still working on worms as you know worms to rats to rabbits to dogs to monkeys before humans. So a long way off still? I think it’s because there is so much going on around the world so many tests that we have reached humans with some of what is going on, other treatments we are onto  monkeys and poor dogs, then something new comes up and the worms come out. As I always say, cut out the poor animals and experiment on humans. Prisoners who are in jail for life.  Those who sexually abuse children, who in my opinion should never get out. We would have had a cure ten years ago. For not only blindness but cancer and so on. Linking back to what I was saying about saving the good and getting rid of the bad earlier.

 

OK its Friday so some fun?

A patient came to the hospital for a MRI he was put into the machine by a beautiful young technician. When he came out, he was met by a much older person. He turned to the lady and asked.

“Okay, how long was I in there for?

 

I was reading this true story today.

“My friend phoned me up horrified and said.

“I have a mouse in my kitchen. I’m totally grossed out.”

Oh no, what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know, but I’m never going to eat what I drop on the floor again……

 

And finally a friend of mine also has my eye condition and two nights ago she took from the freezer pork chops, but it was a big joint of pork and she only knew when it defrosted. Last night she took beef and decided to cook it on the top of the hob. After a long while she couldn’t smell anything so went to her kitchen. She had put the wrong ring on…..  Well, as I told her. I got my home shopping the other day delivered. I thought I had made a mistake as they had delivered three bottles of milk shake rather than two as I don’t like it. My son came in from work. Laughed. Asked me. Mum, why have you got in the fridge three bottles of bubble bath? Haha haha. Well I didn’t need the cold water for my bath that night.

 

OK I hope my voice comes back for tonight? Before I go, a final thought.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world!

 

DIARY OF A UNWELL FIFI

Good evening Bloggets. I’m feeling so ill. My eyes are on fire. My head is burning up and my face resembles I’m sure a giant radish! My throat is killing and my nose is running. Very attractive.

Not.

My stomach hurts I can’t taste anything and my headache has gone on now for three days.

 

Ever since I was a little girl, I have suffered with sore throats. When I was with my ex I would get them every six weeks. Since I got together with my lovely Hub, about twice a year. I don’t just get a “Sore throat.” It’s as though I have swallowed glass. And why do my eyes hurt so badly? Tomorrow I’m in the office so I really don’t want to spread this. I pray it’s away by tomorrow. And no one catches it. Yesterday I made well over forty phone calls, that didn’t help my throat. I’m just glad it’s this week and not next when I have a talk to give. Oh that would be so awful.

 

I was so dizzy with pain today but knew I had the boy’s dinner to cook and I made pumpkin soup for tomorrow for Guy Fauks. Then as I was doing that, my doorbell rang with my shopping delivery. I turned around quickly and slam. Right into the wall.

It hurt.

 

I ran to the door collected all of my bags in three stages. I carry about six bags at a time and brought them through to the kitchen to put away, so dinner on the go with the soup, bags everywhere and the bell went again. A delivery Christmas gifts for our girls. Hub goes mad with me as I like to buy them girly things, he likes to buy practical. I take no notice and just order them. He will learn when they open them. Hahahaha.

 

Hub got up today at half five and left early to go to Birmingham I think…. He isn’t back till nine. A very very long day and night for him.

 

I would love to just curl up in bed now and sleep. It’s been a manic day in one way or another. Dealt with some rather angry people on the phone today but also some absolutely beautiful souls.

 

Just before my Son went out, he decided to talk about quantum physics at me…. I do find subjects like that of interest and it’s great to hear Teen talk with such an intelligent manner. Not sure how much longer he will have his car. I think he will sell it soon. So will I stop worrying? No, as then he will get lifts from his friends and they are worse drivers than him.

 

My friend JB has a possible new guide dog this week. Not sure yet, but looks like a green light. I hope so, she is very independent and she has waited so long for her replacement dog.

 

Looking forward to Friday, I hope I will be better, as our friends are coming for a curry night. They are a lovely couple from where we live. Only thing is, not sure if we have any alcohol in? We don’t drink unless our friends come like Julie; she is coming end of month that will be

fam damma dozy

 

OK I@m going to put on the fire and do myself a hot drink.Laters with love. X

 

GIVING A TALK BY FIONA CUMMINGS

A cold blog today as my fingers are numb. I’m so cold and have some kind of cold too. Really sore throat and can’t stop sneezing. I’m in my conservatory. Without heating trying to be frugal. Not a good idea. I have been here for about five hours and now I’m writing with frozen fingers. I have been working. So many phone calls. Talking to loads of people. Now my day of work is over and how better could I end it other than a chat with my Bloggets. Even though I feel like an Eskimo right now!

 

 My day so far was spending the morning cooking dinner getting that out of the way and cleaning. Then work started. Teen on his way out and hub soon in.

 

Tomorrow I am going to attempt to make Choc chunky peanut and cranberry cookies.

100g pack of peanuts

140g salted butter room temperature

250g plain flour

1 half tsp baking powder

200g white caster sugar

100g peanut butter

1 large egg beaten

2 tbsp. golden syrup

200g bar chocolate chopped into chunks

 50g dried cranberries

 

Method

Turn on oven to 160

Spread out nuts and bake for seven minutes

Grease tray

Chuck all the ingredients into bowl make into breadcrumb texture. Make into cookie balls on tray leaving space in between each one cook for 12 minutes.

 

Gosh, that was exhausting. May be I will stick to going to my local shop and purchasing a pack? Having said that, there is nothing nicer than homemade, right?

 

One of the subjects I have been talking about today is public speaking. It’s interesting how some people have no fear of addressing the public, whereas others are absolutely terrified? So, why is this? I hope to try to analyse this in the next few paragraphs.

 

I have no issue in giving a public speech. No fear at all but, I do have fear going out on my own, though I do it. I know of people who are blind and can do anything out of the house get anywhere. Even places they have never been. Now this to me is a nightmare. They are the super blind. But they will no way give a talk in public. The thought of speaking in front of an audience, sends shivers down their spines. Is a no no area.

 

I have known people with qualifications coming out from their ears hold a very high position in their workplace an yet no way can stand up in front of a group of people and deliver a speech.

 

So, how to overcome this fear. And that is all it is, fear. It’s not impossible. If you can hear and talk clearly, then you can talk to ten people or two hundred. Talking is talking. Your voice shouldn’t be affected by a number of people. You still have your tool in your speech, so you can still use it!

 

Start off with a minimalistic approach. Know that the people, audience are there to listen to you.

 That is why they have attended your event. Also know that more than half of your audience are full of admiration for your gift and that gift is given to you as soon as you learn to talk.

 

When you are giving a talk. It may help to remember these points.

1. Know your subject
2.  . Ask yourself if you were the listener, would you be interested?
3. . Learn beforehand of the environment and age of your place of speech and audience. Its pointless using words that only adults will know of the meaning whilst talking to children. And equally using simplistic language in front of for example colleagues will possibly bore them as there will be nothing gripping in what they are listening to. You need to captivate your listeners. Listening is important. So if you are in a small room, then your voice will be heard more easily. This doesn’t mean that you can talk as quiet as a mouse. But, more gently perhaps more of a softer manner. If you are to give a talk in a hall, then you need to practice projecting your voice. A good way of doing this is to keep your head forward and ever so slightly higher than the people’s heads. If you can’t see your audience, then you could ask for someone prior to your speech, to sit in the front row and say something to you. If you are talking to children, if you sit, then you will make them feel more comfortable as if you stand up, then you are more like an authoritative   character. If you are talking with children, use a lot of praise when they are brave enough to ask a question. Never patronise your audience; Make them feel important.
4. . Always leave your crowd wanting more. And that more can be divided into two sections. (1) Each sentence is like a short story. So people really look forward to the answer in the end. (2) Leave your speech on a cliff-hanger. Why? So that they will be guaranteed to ask you lots of questions in the end and questions are a vital importance of your speech. Firstly you will come away with the knowledge that you have created a thought process in another person’s mind. That thought has been inspired by your words. And out of questions, may come more information that you possibly have forgotten earlier.  
5. Try not to keep your voice in the same tone. After all, you are an actor for your time in front of people. Act your way through your speech.

 

So what tools do you need to take with you? Most importantly, a note taker whether it be pen and paper, or Dictaphone. Possibly a pencil in case the ink runs dry and spare batteries. You never know when you need to take down a name or phone number.

 Go on, give it a go?  Just tell yourself that you know your subject, so if you were telling it to one person over a coffee, how would you feel doing that?

 

If you would be alright with that, then imagine that one person as twenty plus are in front of you.

 

Deep breaths.

MONDAYS DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good day Bloggets. The fog is so thick out there. Wags and I went out before and I’m glad she is close to the ground as my Teen said it is almost impossible to see…..

Just as he drove off…..

London airport have cancelled 122 flights today because of fog.

 

My Wagga has been on a free run today. A lovely lady comes to take her so now Wagga has two paw pals one my friend Artie and the other lady today. Artie comes about once every six weeks and I love to see her we have a great chat and I enjoy her company. As for today this lady takes Waggs on her own each week, and she is out an hour oh boy, she loves it. There is nothing more wonderful than to know my dog is happy. She is flat out now and I’m sure will be having dreams about chasing the other dogs on the field. A smile I bet will be on her face.

 

The pollution on the way to the shop was dreadful. It’s really affecting my asthma and I think my Son is also getting asthma. I love this house and more so love the fact I can get to my local shop, Doctors chemist and dentist without much of a worry. But the air quality? It’s awful.

 

Our city I love with a passion. Our neighbours are the best and my house is my home. But the health aspect of breathing? There is a street in our town that is said to be the most polluted out of London. That is scary.

 

Here is some interesting news. I love this story I was reading today online. It is from Times of India. 260 designs have been carved into the earth in Kazakhstan. The images made from earth shaped into Swastika’s, circles and squares. They are said to be around eight thousand years old and now NASA are looking into how they got there.

Scientists say the people of that time, wouldn’t have had time or organisation to build such structures.

 

Well I got all of my dusting done Gosh I have so many ornaments I have to really concentrate remembering where each and every one is so not to knock it off. Lift and polish. Place very carefully with great care. There are not enough hours in the day. I love that fact. Some years ago before Hub and I got together, my days went so slowly. Now they are so fast. Tomorrows are a day of office work. Wednesday too and Thursday, in the big office. Friday start the housework all over again. I mop the floors God only knows if they are clean. What more can I do? As I have said before a sighted person sees a mark and they can concentrate on that one spot. We can’t so there we go. I did my best and my best these days is good enough. I have done three loads of washing and drying now just to iron…

 

I have had horrid eye pain all day. My eyes feel as though they have been kicked by pointy boots. Had two texts today from my besties and a phone call from my friend who is totally in love. So lovely to hear that.  

My loved one has just been on the phone to say he is on the train coming home. So I must make dinner. Its homemade lasagne tonight.

 

I hope your week will be a good one. With love till laters.

DIARY OF LOVE LOYALTY AND THE LIAR

Good evening Bloggets. Well, it’s been an emotional weekend. A fantastic lunching date with our Besties yesterday Trix, Like and Hanz. We had the most delicious meal in a beautiful cosy restaurant. We laughed and the love we have for our dearests was obvious. Can’t wait to see our friends again in my head making plans for that already. Had text from JB to our friend from school so that was lovely.

 Then to have a phone call from someone who left me cold and in somewhat shock of how people’s minds work. A call I won’t forget.

 

Realisation kicked in today with a near future plan in which I have predicted but have to live with. And trouble with someone I love with all of my heart and finally, There may be some good news on its way too. All depends…

 

Teen worked today and now is out and about. Where? Not sure…. Hope he will be in for midnight as Hub is up leaving in a taxi at six so an early start. He is off to Peterborough to work and won’t be home till about 6pm. As for me, housework all-day. Great, can’t wait.

Not!

 

Today was the hottest November on record in the UK.  Hardly any leaves are falling because it hasn’t been cold, wet or too windy. I think we had twenty four hours of wind last week.

 

Before I go just some thoughts.

“Is it easier to forgive an enemy than a friend?”

Personally I think it is. A friend should be good and kind someone you can trust and someone that you yourself would do anything for that person. I would fight for my friends and I would be so loyal. I don’t understand friends who wouldn’t do that for me. I guess at the end of the day, they are no more a friend than a distant neighbour. This is why Trix, Like and Hanz are so special to me.

 

“It is one thing to make a mistake, but another to make that same mistake over again.”

I also acknowledge the fact people make errors, but when they do it all over again, to me, then they have made the biggest mistake yet. And I never forget that. Most certainly won’t forgive that either.

 

A rather odd weekend for sure. But time with those we love I must focus on and forget the wicket that was intended. Forget the person, or perhaps people who tried to push me down again into the dark hole I hung onto the crumbling soil for so long in my life, now I have found grips that will help me climb out of that dark and unforgiving place I’m not allowing that hurt to harm but of course my soul has been chipped away at once again. “If we stay quiet and calm for long enough, then we shall find compensation in disappointment.

 

I used to have a strategy and that was never to expect anything and you won’t be disappointed. Sadly I threw away that strategic analysis and found myself in a place, environment I wasn’t too keen on.

 

Now not to leave this blog on a total downer, as I said, I spent time with the best friends in the world, so not all bad, and before I go to wrest my head I shall leave you with another thought. I hope this time more uplifting and inspiring. If you are feeling a little lost or let down, these words are for you.

 

When you do what you fear most, then you can do anything. When your life is heading in a wrong direction, turn the other way. To dream whilst sleeping, is a plan, to dream whilst awake is reality.

If you want roses in your garden of life, you have to plant them. Watch them grow and smell how beautiful the flowers are that you helped to bring into this world. Your creation and hard work.

 

Fiona Cummings

HALLOWEEN BY FIONA CUMMINGS

HALLOWEEN

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 You think I’m the little old lady from down the street?

Well on Halloween I’m a frail old woman you don’t want to meet

Smells from my kitchen

A magic potion

 Boiled bones

My oven groans

What’s inside?

Let’s say people cried

Why not come to mine?

Don’t slip on the slime

If you do

Expect the worst to happen to you

Cat’s tails

And dogs poo

Unshelled garden snails

And soup from my loo

A glass of punch

For a grizzly lunch

Where is my hat

And my broom   

My cape and special bag

I’m coming to see you soon

Down your garden path

 On your door a rat a tat tat

Open with care

My treats I will share

Dip in if you dare?

Copyright Fiona Cummings 2015