SCREAM BY FIONA CUMMINGS

SCREAM

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 I shall take my tired legs

 Up the stairs

And before bed

I shall have a shower

Use the gel which smells like a flower

Step out close the door

Hear the dripping on the floor

Take my towel

Wrap it around me like a shawl

Then from the warmth of dryness

I will take the toothbrush

Just by habit still

Look in the mirror

And rather than sounds staring back at me

I will not be able to breathe

As somehow

I can see

Who is that looking back at me?

She looks like a lady

Oh this is crazy

All in my mind

Stop kidding myself

For I am blind

Yes, I have mirrors

But they are for others

Who are those eyes

My fingers move

 Same time as my brain tells them too

Am I shocked or surprised

Is it a dream?

Shall I scream?

No, I don’t want to spoil this moment

I feel sick

So scared and alone

Who shall I phone?

What will I say?

What if my sight goes away?

No, I can’t see

I’m being so silly

It’s all an illusion

Just put it to tiredness and confusion

Things like this don’t happen to me

I will never again see

Who is teasing me

Who would be so cruel

Making me out to be a fool?

I’m almost filled with terror

As two blue eyes like mine but older

Are peering over my shoulder

No stop, they are my shoulders

God, I look so much older

It can’t be me

I can’t see

Wow, do my eyes really look that blue

Could this be true?

It’s been fifteen years

And millions of tears

Since I last saw

When I opened the door

To another world

A harder world

Filled with sadness

Drove me to madness

Deep dark depression

Damaged emotions

Lost all devotions

Said goodbye to my baby

Who now is a young man

He will have huge hands

And a different face

Where is this place?

Is it reality?

Testing my disability?

Oh my God

This is so hard

Something I have prayed for

So long

Begging my maker to keep me strong

So I could carry on

For my Son

Now my Husband

This is a strange land

Look at my mouth

Who stole my youth

Those lines don’t belong to me

I don’t want to look around the room

As what will I see?

My husband is laying in bed

How can I tell him

What words will be said?

I have my sight

No more do we need to fight

And look at him lying there

With now peppered hair

Still in a world of sightlessness

But I will see

And the world we will go

No more troubled waters will flow

I shall see snow

And have so much fun

Under different colours of sun

My Husband can be at peace now

No more tell tail signs upon his brow

We won’t age years every few days

Hard times are in our past

This must last?

Please? Down on my knees

I start to frees

Droplets of water

Slowly slaughter

This beast I call reality

I shall see our dog’s faces for the first time

Smell the blooms through my eyes

Taste the food

By looking what is good

Run free

No chains tied to me

Walk out of my prison

And see the world

I won’t need gold

For my fortune will be

In what I can see

Living will be so much better

I will be able to open a letter

And read who it’s for

See who is standing at my door

Know what is in my parcel

Enjoy the glitter from the Christmas sparkle

Do silly things like match up socks

Clime rocks

Look out of the window

See the colour yellow

Changing seasons

 Oh no more tears will be bleeding

For now a new life

I shall do for others

What I need for myself

Light up their world

Not stand back and watch them fold

It will be alright now

I shall show them how

But who gave me this gift

Who put me in this lift?

And who pushed the button

Sending me to my slumber

A bolt like thunder

I awoke

No one spoke

Same old Television

A blank screen

No vision

Rubbing my head

Pushing away my dream

I did not go to bed

It was a dream

Now I for sure

Will

Scream

HAVING A DOWNER OF A DAY

 Good day Bloggets. I hope I find you well. I am not having a good day but I hope that changes as I am about to talk with my bf on the phone. (Best friend)

As today was a real downer and I woke up feeling and looking like rubbish the downer continued as everything went wrong.

Enough of that though such is life and for sure my, life.

Last night was a time to reflect my lovely longest friend, not because she is tall, but because long as in we have been friends for so many years. Half my life.

I lit a beautiful candle she bought us and the house still smells of it though it was blown out before bed yesterday. I miss her and look forward to seeing Olga again in the summer. I just wish she could live here.

Christmas is coming too quickly this year. It’s also so stressful. I just can’t get what I need. I have most of it; thanks to my friend Olga I really don’t know what we would have done without her to be honest.

I have been sleeping so well of late and this is a God send.

Did I tell you Hub and I made a Chilli last night for tea? Oh it was delicious. I love it. And the good news is, there is some left for Tea. So I think I shall have it with baked potatoes, as the majority of it was eaten last night.

Yesterday I went for a coffee and a chat with my lovely neighbour/friend Dianne. She is a really nice kind person.

Not seeing Beanie tomorrow, this is a shame. Her boyfriend told me she was ill.

I was to go out with Arty with the dogs, she could only do tomorrow, but because I was going out with Beanie as that is our day and the only one she can do I had to cancel it, but may try to ask if she is still available.

Though it is sunny and not rained, the field is still so muddy though.

I have just finished cleaning the floors and seeing to all the dogs. Gosh, they are really hard work. It was funny whilst I’m cleaning the kitchen and conservatory; I let them have their toys. When I had one dog, her toys used to stay out all day, but, with three, they drive us mad, as the two young ones fight for the same toy. Though I put a few out. Little old BB, just stands looking as there is nothing she likes better than playing but won’t when the other two are there which is sad really, Hub and I try to put the other two out of the room, and let little BB have her time. Bless her, she would be the one who would be bullied at school, and never get invited to parties. Hehee. But the funny thing is, if we are out and there is another dog, she will growl at them and bark.

Not too sure what she would do if one came for her?

Did I tell you my friend has a lilac leather couch? Oh how pretty will that be? I have never seen such a colour in leather.

Don’t worry; I’m not going to change our sofa, not until it is flat. This one has to last us at least five years.

Hub is in Birmingham today. Tomorrow Southport and Thursday Peterborough.

I’m waiting in for a wire to come to fix Hubs internet. All fun.

By the way, the man came out to fix our box for the internet yesterday and he was so professional and really charming. He even came back in the house and reminded us he had left a light on in Hubs office.

I was mortified he had to go in there, having said that, our bedroom has a lot to be desired. What a mess?

I must do that this afternoon. It just has boxes and paper all over. From wrapping Christmas presents.

OK, my canary, Irish you know, is singing so loudly I can’t hear my computer saying the keys I am typing in.

So shall go for now. Take care and I really hope your day is better than mine. Xx

 

DIARY OF MANCHESTER PART 3

Part 3

Diary of Manchester

The band members were clearing the stage. The hall had been clear apart from two people who were talking to us. That was nice, as being alone feeling like you have been forgotten, is not a good place to be.

They offered to take us out, but we thanked them and said someone hopefully was coming for us.

At last, a lady came, about the seventh or eighth different person to help that day. Glad I didn’t bother remembering all of their names…

She walked us out, we ordered a taxi and she even walked us to the driver, which was really lovely of her. But, to get a taxi, and to get someone to come for us, took about half an hour. So again, no time to eat. We got to the station, the driver told us where to go as in the station, and we stood at the door, wondering where the staff were? I by then was in control God help us, as Hub was in his usual pain. He was dizzy and told me he felt as though he was going to pass out.

O

K

So I tried to hear for voices and the Tanoy, “Can’t spell that word. The escalators, lifts and just trains and people sounds were blocking my ability to hear voices. At last I heard someone and asked if they could help. Well, obviously not as nothing else came from them. I laughed when over the tannoy, it was announced that security cameras were all over the station for added security. OK, well someone please see us and come?

I told Hub to link my arm and off we went. Well, we ended up in a very quiet place. God knows where but if we were not meant to be there, hopefully someone would let us know?

I stood hoping for help.

Nothing and no one.

We came out of there and then at last a very nice lady asked if she could help. I think she was Eastern block by her accent. Thank God for her as by this time, it was about seven minutes before our train.

We had to go up the lift. Then she found a member of staff who asked our names. We told her. She told us Johnny would be the person we needed to meet with. I told her we had five minutes before our train. She asked what train and where, I told her she said no, you need the 17.11 train, I said no, the 17.01. She said no. I thought teen must have made a mistake, but when a second man came, I showed him our tickets. He looked at them and said it was the 17.11.

Johnny would come to us. Well, there was an announcement for our train, guess what time?

17.01.

Unblooming believable

  I could not hear anything it was so noisy. Then though I could not make anything out, I heard a radio. I called to it, as didn’t know if it was a man or woman.

It was the woman. I said we missed our train she said we hadn’t. Johnny would come.

I said well, now it was five past. She said we had time.

Well, about eight minutes past, I got cross and glared at the two members of staff laughing and talking about a meal they had planned. The man saw me and asked if he could help. I told him we missed our train, he said no, I checked your tickets I said well even if it is in three minutes, and we need to be on the platform?

He hummed and sighed and then said he would have to take us.

God knows where Johnny was?

Well, we had then to go in another lift. Then he stopped He asked if we needed a “Buggy?

I said no, run.

He looked again at our tickets to see where we would need to sit.

Well, you won’t believe what he said?

“Oh, you have missed your train, it should have been 17.01.”

*

OK, he had to put us on another train. I was not impressed.

It was again packed and again in someone else’s seat.

We got home in the end and I knew there would be a blog in our day, but never imagined it to be like this one.

X

DIARY OF MANCHESTER PART 2

Part 2

OK, five seconds seemed like two minutes until I heard Hubs voice asking where was I. I held onto him as we wobbled up the train, OK, I wobbled, he gracefully walked the catwalk.

I by this time still didn’t know if we were on the right train. It was packed.

At last we found a seat with two sets next to each other.

Whose seats? Didn’t know, didn’t care.

I was roasting and exhausted. Didn’t know I could still run. Hahhahaha.

LC as ever was great, lay down under the seats.

The ticket man came and said it didn’t matter we were on the wrong seats but told us the most important thing; we were on the right train.

Few.

One and a half hours later, we arrived.

We were met perfectly at the station, great, what a gentle breaze. It was still sunny and the smell of coffee was wafting in from the side café’s. What a huge station.

Down a lift then up a lift.

Out into the street. Across three small roads. Up a ramp and there was a taxi.

We knew it was ten minutes max to the event so the man said he would wait for us at the taxi rank and asked when we would be there?

I knew it finished at four, so Hub and I agreed about twenty past?

When we got out of the taxi at the other end, the driver stood close to his taxi. We faced him as we paid him. I asked if he could tell us where the venue was?

He answered

“Straight a head. Well, straight ahead, was towards him. Then his taxi. So I pointed to him. He said no, turn left, then left again.

O

K

So, left and left again, is straight a head.

Into the door and there was a ticket person on the door. From then on, it was a piece of cake, or cup of coffee at least, as we aimed for the coffee bar, where the only sandwiches available for vegetarians like me were cottage cheese and pickle, or, wait for it?

Cottage cheese.

Yack, with a capital Y.

I just had coffee as did Hub and we thought we would eat on the way back, as this place was packed.

We ended up not paying for the coffee, because there was no one there to take money, or they saw the absolute desperation on my face to just be there safely.

I must say the staff were amazing. Though from stepping in the hall, to leaving, we must have had the attention of about eight different staff, they were all wonderful and so friendly.

They said someone would be there to collect us to show us to our seats.

Haha!

Well, as we had about two minutes left before the show was to start, we got a little anxious, but by this point thought it was just funny, it was a case of laughing or crying.

The massively filled café became empty.

The silence was amusing.

Not even the coffee machines made a sound.

One minute to go, and at last, on the dot, we were rescued. Our seats were right in the front row. Four foot away from the big band.

Candle light and all in Victorian costume! The brass band began with the Christmas concert.

It was great. Hub and I really enjoyed it. It was jolly and really professional. This is why Hub and I are good together, as Bruno Mars a few weeks ago and Sunday, a big, brass, band. We have such variety in our tastes of music, from heavy rock to classical. The only thing Hub and I don’t agree on, is he likes Organ music. I would rather poke my eyes out with cocktail sticks, rather than listen to organ music, but all other kinds of music we both enjoy.

It was rather funny to hear the Hooray Hennery’s too. There were a lot of them in the audience.

It was toe tapping hand clapping and we even got to sing a song.

Oh God, this was rather funny as there was a lovely couple next to us and the lady thought she was still a young choir singer and went big time for the almost impossible notes. Well, I’m not saying it was painfully high, as that would be nasty, I shall just say, that LC had to put her paws over her ears and we had to restrain her from howling.

Well, I had to keep very streight faced, as I knew as an x choir singer myself, there was a part of this famous carol that as a singer, you could really turn the Carol around and form so many different harmonies. Oh she went there, bless her, she was the only one in the hall, but she dared to go and once you make such a huge statement, you can’t go back on yourself.

Well, one of the notes just went on and on and on. I wondered if her hat pin got stuck in her skull. Just as I was about to call for an ambulance, I heard to my relief and LC’s, a deep breath. Few, thank God. But then she went for another note. This one lasting longer than the last.

Being so close to the stage, I did wonder if one of the musicians mutes had slipped and rather than up the instrument, had gone elsewhere and made a closer contact with the lady than was comfortable.

The mat thing with LC was funny. As the lady who worked there asked if we would like a mat for our dog, they provided her with a door mat. Hahahahaha. She was not impressed. It was one of those mats you know, the spiky straw, or coconut ones.

Like a bristly brush, which would leave burns to LC’s delicate skin.

So the end of the concert and so’oo’oo’oo much more to come, getting home was as dramatic as going there.

More later. X

OH MY GOD! DIARY OF MANCHESTER AND MORE PART 1

Good morning Bloggets. OK, again, waiting for the man from our internet provider to come and hopefully fix our connection problems. Again I can use my lap top from the living room, but you know in the summer I like to use my laptop in the conservatory. Well, as soon as you leave the living room, it cuts off. Hub can’t use his work desk top either on our new provider and he rather stupidly, cancelled his work internet to save the company money and we would pay for one provider. I can tell you, I was not at all impressed. Working from home, we are saving the company money on electric and heating, so the internet too?

Also I think and always have done, if we have two providers, and one goes down, there is the other one if he is working.

Both of us feel ill today. Hub with his pain and all of the medication he took from it yesterday and me? Well, not sure what is wrong with me, apart from I’m falling to bits.

I think yesterday’s stress has caught up with me too!

Please allow me to tell you my diary?

We woke up early on a sunny Sunday morning. I knew I had to take Waggatail for milk to our shop, as she was going to be left for a long time as we were to go out for the day but couldn’t take her.  The one I don’t talk about was to go to a house overnight. He would not give me a streight answer as to him coming home to let the dogs out so I was already worried sick as to how long the poor things would be left.

My insides were churned up with the prospect of leaving the safe dome of my house and going on the train to a strange land.

As for the shop? Well, you know how I feel about that.

Hub knows he could do the  job in half the time with no anxiety what so ever.

But rightly so, makes me do it. The fact is, you just never know when you as a blind person are going to be on your own and even if we pay for help or get volunteers, they are never there when you need them and you also don’t like asking them for little things like milk?

So, I made breakfast, I couldn’t eat mine, just had to concentrate on going to the shop.

   Put Waggatails harness and leash on and off we went. I was shaking before I left the house.

My neighbour’s husbands were across the road.

My neighbour has only one husband, hahaha. But the other neighbour has one too, so collectively, two of them.

I said good morning, and they echoed words of positivness

 I thought, I can do this.

Hmm. Well, Wagga did so well getting there, only made two silly mistakes which could be rectified.

We got to the shop. Oh around it she was awful. Sniffing everything, pulling to get under the shelves and fridges. It was an embarrassment.

I was having to pull her leash; this was making her choke so she was making sounds as though she was going to be sick.

I could not wait to get out. Got my milk and two tiny chocolate bars to have with coffee on the train, as it would save a fortune.

Wagga went under the till, mind you, as does Long Chops and Black Beauty also used to.

When my Son worked there, he said there was always food under there. Disgusting.

Anyway I thought, let me out of here, as Wagga continued to make sounds like a rather grumpy piglet.

Could I find the door? Yes, I turned right after the tills. A lady spoke to me and I thought, oh no, please don’t break my mind’s map?

Anyway, there is a fine line between the door and going around the whole shop again. In the summer, they leave the door open so I hear the outside and feel the air blowing in, but in the winter? It’s closed.

Wagga pulled me far to the left. I couldn’t take her leash in my right hand to correct her whilst her harness was in my left hand, as I was carrying the bag of two heavy milks as we buy the large ones.

So I got more tightly chested and redder.

Found the door. I was so cross with her. She would not come out of the shop, would rather sniff again. Oh God this was so bad. I pulled her like a heavy sack of potatoes.

So who guided who?

Got out of the shop, I was in a state and told her off. She couldn’t care less.

So then time for a mammoth mistake. My falt I guess. I was so fed up with Wage’s performance, I rather than turned two lefts, turned one, then right. Huu’uuu’uuu’uge mistake.

I knew I had done an error. This made me panic. The ground came up to meet me, the sky fell down to earth and the loud sounds were amplified by terror.

The cars sounded as though they were all around me. Was I on the main road? Yes, I thought I was.

Do I go forward into the road or backwards into a truck.

Then I fell up a large step.

Oh God. I felt so sick. I hated life, I was cross with my Husband for making me do this, I wanted to cry.

I was so lost. Then a lady came to my rescue in the time foreverness.

That is how long it took to wait for help. I thought it was never going to happen.

She told me she worked as a guide dog puppy walker. These are the people who have the pups from the age of six weeks until they go into kennels to have their final training.

I explained I needed the main road path. I after all wasn’t on the road, just on a totally different path, closer to the road than I would like and with the fear, everything sounded louder.

She kindly got me on the right path, but turned out not to be the right one after all.

In fairness, Waggatail did try to get me back to the shop, looking back now, but I didn’t trust her, I mean, would you?

So we got lost again, to cut a very long story short, I got so lost again, but got saved in the end, by whom? The same lady, she was horrified by Wagga and the way she was walking, sniffing everything and picking up sticks as she walked along. A fifteen minute walk there and back for Hub, 25 minute for me normally, took me fifty minutes. I also was aware that our taxi was due to take us to the train station.

I got home, Hub was worried about me and I could tell he was furious with Wagga, but I am sure looking back, if I put some trust in her, she would have for sure got me back,

I just wished that her puppy walker would have corrected her sniffing everything in sight and smell as a baby.

OK. Home, no time for anything but to phone the taxi company to ask where were they?

As we had a train to catch. Oh, turned out that they were not going to make it to us. I was by this point, really angry. This was the second train we were to catch the last one was to see our friends in Newcastle, my old home town. Remember way back a few months? The taxi didn’t come and we lost out on seeing them and our train tickets were waited.

Well, this time not only our day out, but train was rather deer and the tickets to our show were very expensive.

I really told the stupid woman off as I was doing this, Hub and I were waiting in the street for our taxi. The one that was on its way, but would be about half an hour late?

My lovely neighbour Dianne came out and told us she would give us alift. Bless her heart she is so kind and would do anything for us, never ever have I had a neighbour like her. Many years ago, I was fortunate to have a lovely old couple next door, but it was a very long time ago. Our last lot of neighbours would have watched us burn rather than hose us down. Same with the ones from our house previous. I remember my x Husband used to be really kind with one of our neighbours. He would always pick her up from bus stops and take her into work. Even took her out for driving lessons. As soon as she got her licence, I one day, was stepping out of the house, it was pouring, there I was before dog, with my white cane and the rain was lashing down. The wind was horrendous. She got out of her car. I said hello to her. She asked where I was going. I told her to pick up my boy who was four at the time. I told her I hated the wind as it was so hard to hear anything. She replied, “oh well, never mind, it’s only a ten minute walk.

After my x had spend years, I’m not joking transporting her. My x really made it clear after then, he didn’t want to know her and would do nothing for her, but of course, she didn’t need anything after then.

But Dianne is not at all like that, she is a wonderful person and turning into a lovely friend. I just hope I can help her in life too!

Anyway the taxi company got on the phone saying the driver was a few minutes away. So we decided that the taxi would be better as they can go down roads she would not be able to. Also they could park up close to the station, like outside the door.

Also if they got a speeding ticket, their problem.

 I told the driver we had a fifteen minute journey, if the traffic was good, for a twelve minute train. His answer?

Not my problem. I have just been given this job. I was more cross with the company, as we booked it the night before.

I booked it for 11.15. He was given the job at 11.20.

And he was in the town when he got that.

The town he said was busy. And we were at one end the train station at the other.

We heard the woman from the company telling the driver she was looking up other train times.

I thought what a cheek. I told him, we could not wait forty minutes as would not get to the show on time. Well, we may have done in reality, but to be honest, it would be tight and my heart had not recovered from the shopping event.

He said a member of staff from the taxi company would meet with us and take us to the train. I told him he had three minutes; he said he was about seven from the station. I told him to put his foot down. He muttered it’s not his fault. I told him I didn’t care whose fault it was, just to get us there.

Hehehehe. I think I was his worst nightmare of a customer.

Anyway, we arrived. One minute before the train was to leave. The staff member took my arm. Hub took my shoulder with LC, on her harness and the four of us ran like hell through the station as though to do a marathon. Oh my God, this was it. I was about to go down in style, not, in the middle of the station.

My heart beating at a speed I didn’t like, All I could hear was trains pulling out, were were about to go onto the track as I didn’t have much confidence in the person running us.

She was shouting to tell everyone to move out the way, imagine, this, hahahah. I’m laughing now but at the time was awful. So you are walking to your train in a state of relaxation. You hear someone shouting excuse me. You look over your shoulder and realisation kicks in. You are about to be rammed by a scary looking woman, as I’m sure she was, and if not it makes a good blog, hahahahaha. Fat lass with a white cane and a bloke with a guide dog, running like hell after you.

I can tell you now, people did move but I think we may be on a few videos.

Next thing I know, as the lady who was our runner, could not speak, but by the  time I got to some steps. I was going up the steps of a train. Who’s train? Ours? Hmm. Not sure at this point and didn’t know if she knew either.

The doors closed. Was Hub on? Oh my God?

More later. X

A DAY NOT TO FORGET

Dearest Bloggets, I have one heck of a blog for you later. Oh my Lord. Just you wait until you hear about our day.

It was absolutely unbelievable.

Put it this way, It started with fear and tears then fury, then anticipation, excitement and again angry. On top of that, I have not run so much in years. Now looking back, it was one hell of a day.

And a blog and a half.

Exhausted dot com now so shall take to my bed, then write about our day not to forget. X

 

CHILLAXING

 Tomorrow we are off on the train to a concert, which reminds me, I need to A, book a taxi and B, look online where we are meant to go for the show? I mean, that would help to tell the taxi driver, wouldn’t it?

Hub says we will have about an hour after the show to get something to eat before going onto the train. OK, where? On our own in the middle of Manchester, is slightly daunting.

But I have my right arm with me and the best guide dog on the land.

Waggatail is staying at home with Black beauty.

I just hope teen will be from work to let them out?

So tomorrow, there will be interesting blogs.

Tonight was a lovely chill out evening

Hub and I watched our favourite show on the telly, tree lights on and a glass of warm mulled wine.

Some delicious cheese bought by our lovely friend Olga. From our Christmas market.

Our dogs are at last a sleep. The vet trip has got to them. And me, so off to sleep.

Night night and tomorrow with our adventures. X

RICHARD BRANSON IS HE A BLOGGET?

So the vet today, well, we got all three dogs into the rather large taxi. Managed to control all three to get them to sit down and tell them they were not going out to the beach for the day, but going instead, to the vet.

That knocked the smile from their faces.

We had a lovely driver, which is rare, though the company we use now are much better than the old ones.

Got into the vet, I let Hub control his beasty girl and little old BB. I had enough to handle, with Waggatail, who just had to be dragged into the vets, even though she had her harness on.

And when she doesn’t want to move away from the smell of anything other than work, she will not move. It’s as though she puts the breaks on of stubbornness.

Got in were told to sit down, I asked if she would show us a seat, as didn’t want to sit on Mrs. Bridges Poodle

 Or Mr. Lenard’s rabbit.

Or worse, Mr. Lenard’s knee.

Oh really, the conversation went like this.

Could you show me please where to sit?

“Oh!”

 

“Well could you?”

She looked around and then asked a man to do this. He asked her to repeat herself as eh didn’t hear her.

She did.

We waited.

He then said

“Em.

We waited.

She asked him again. He made some odd sounds then asked her what she said again. In the meanwhile, I’m thinking who the hell is he?

I was just about to tell them I would do it and not to bother. And he asked if I wanted to take his hand?

Yack?

I took his elbow.

 Now this will make you laugh. We literally walked three steps to a seat.

Then a lady walked in the vet with her dog and all I could hear, was the poor animal screaming. I turned to hub and said

“Oh my God, I hope our dogs don’t get him?

Hub was not impressed with my comments. Hehehehe. Why, they were true?

Guess what? We did get him.

Anyway, all got a healthy pass but BB needs to loss some weight. Oh she is like a walrus

Beautiful though, her fir is like a mink coat.

Wagga is like pure silk.

So we are home now and I hope for a more relaxed night as today with the vet and internet going wrong, a bit of a nightmare of a day as we think we have made a huge mistake in our new provider. Richard, if you are reading this, I can tell you where Virgin is going wrong if you give me a call?

I’m sure Richard Branson, is a Blogget? Hehehehe.

Steak pie for Hubs tea so must go and get it all ready. The one I don’t talk about is going out in half an hour. Where? Not sure. Who with? Don’t know.

I kind of can guess, but nothing is in stone yet, as he doesn’t know totally.

X factor tonight, hoping for Sam to stay in. I keep saying, watch out for her, she is world class.

You will know her all over the world in six months.

She is the best singer ever to have left the UK and sadly, she will leave the UK, they all do.

x

I'M NOT A VIRGIN

Hello Bloggets. Today we are having a nightmare with our internet service. Virgin? Hmm. Well, it’s not working unless you sit on the box.

God I wished we just left it alone.

Now on the phone they are talking about putting more wires all over the house.

I wished we stayed with BT.

God, I’m furious.

So now teen can’t do his homework. He has a deadline as well. My Hub can’t do work on Monday.

The man Hub is talking to has appalling English. Hub has to ask him to repeat everything, and Hub is having to say everything about three times and my Husband speaks really perfect English. This really makes me mad, as we put all the work out to India, or other countries, like Sweden, then we can’t communicate.

 He has been on the phone about an hour and a half.

It’s a costly number too.

Now an engineer is going to have to come out but not until next Friday.

A whole week before there is good internet.

Today we took all three dogs to the vet.  Oh Lord. That was not easy.

I can’t wait until we get new vets around here. It’s supposed to be happening.

Very soon.

OK, I need to breathe. We have had a hard day. Made huge mistakes. But our dogs are all very healthy and Black beauty is going on a diet, bless her.

She needs to loss 7lbs.

X

DIARY TODAY AND MANDELA

 Waiting for our internet man to come. My plumber was supposed to come two weeks ago and still waiting. He told me he didn’t know when he would be able to come.

So in the meanwhile, we just wait until our decorating is all spoiled and our water bill is so high we can’t pay it. Oh I am fed up of men.

Hub went out this morning to catch the man who cleans the bins. I asked him in July to clean ours. If you remember my blog from then? He was rude. Hub said he told him, we didn’t ask him and he doesn’t have time now. He then got in his car and drove off.

Another row in our house this morning. A lot of tension.

This makes me ill.

I am like a yoyoIf I stupidly let myself get to the top, I am thrown down to the bottom so fast. This is why I never allow myself to be happy. If I stay half way, this is a result for me.

I am not going to tell hub but I think my burn is now infected.

The one I can’t talk about told me today it was very red around the huge burn.

Our real tree doesn’t smell half as good as it did last year. But still has a fern fragrance.

My orange decorations in my mind’s eye look lovely against the dark green pine needles.

I think the one I don’t talk about is in tonight too, though after college he is seeing someone and this someone is fine by me.

Sunday we have our day on the train and the musical of Christmas will begin.

Tomorrow. Oh God. Three dogs and the vet.

How on earth we are going to manage is just stressing me out.

Wagga sniffs everything, BB has to be dragged and fights with everything and LC is terrified.

There are horrid steps too.

OK, as for the news, we all know and respect the fact that who some people think is a great man has died. Nelson Mandela. But to be on every channel of our Television? 24/7 too? Why can’t he be reported as a soldier or fireman who has died are?

I remember the horrible barbaric news when in South Africa they used to kill the black people taking tanks to the streets. Thank God that doesn’t happen now, but it is still really bad over there. My Hub was there in October and remember I told you about the white driver who drove to kill or at least knock over a black man on the road. That still goes on. Horrible, I hope so much that this can bring together black and whites over there because after all, black people should have more right than the whites

It is their country, white people came after them and I am a strong believer in whose there first belongs there. But all this on Google and other media services, he was 95, some children in his country and ours don’t get to five.

Cry for them, perhaps??

 

I guess I must go now and start a very long day of cleaning. I absolutely hate it. Same thing day in day out. But at least Hub is home and that makes life liveable.

OK more later I hope a fun blog. Xxxx

MAGDA MARTA LULLABY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Magda Marta lullaby

By Fiona Cummings

Time for bed now

Lay your head down

Close your eyes and count the sheep

Soon you will be fast a sleep

Dream sweet dreams darling

Of swans so graceful

Hear December snow falling

See the frozen lake so beautiful

Standing at the bottom of your slumber

Is your guardian angel so dutiful

Before you fell to a place of dreams

I wonder what was your number

How many sheep did you count?

Hopefully it was not a huge amount

A peaceful pleasant place you are

And know I’m never far

If you need me just say my name

And I shall sing you that song again

Lullaby

Don’t ask why

Just know I love you

And will be forever here for you

Lullaby

Rain falls from the sky

Silver tears of joy

Sun shines

Summer times

Lullaby

Seasons pass

Growing grass

Bare trees

Shivering knees

Lullaby

Know you’re warm

No matter what the storm

Sleep with ease

I beg you please

Lullaby

Feel so safe

This is your place

Away from pain

And fear

Lullaby

Remember whatever

I am always here

Lullaby lullaby

Sing to sleep

As once again you count the sheep

Night night sweet loved one

Tucked in bed at home

Never need to feel alone

 

LISTEN FRIENDS, CAN YOU HEAR WHERE YOU ARE? (A BLOG FROM MY HUB)

Careful where you walk

At a recent meeting of the European Blind Union's Road Safety and
Transport Commission, we discussed the concept of smart pavements.  This
was all new to me, but I have now done a little reading around the
subject and it's amazing what could be under our feet as we walk around
in the future.

The world is getting used to an assault on our senses.  Everywhere you
look there are advertisements and literally thousands of opportunities
to grab our attention and make us buy or interact with organisations
every day.  This has all changed so much from the days of advertisements
in newspapers and magazines plus 1 television channel as the key means
of reaching us all.

Until now, most of the advertising is offered on a 1 to many model - 1
big poster, lots of opportunities to see it.  True, some advertising
focuses on the individual through our phones etc, but it's still quite a
blunt instrument.

Smart pavements could become the new hot advertising space.  As you walk
over a paving stone with an RFID or some other tag, you get information
about where you are, what's on offer and who is offering it.  Stand
outside that shop window for a few seconds and the pavement lets the
shop know you are there. Privacy issues not withstanding, the pavement
might even know if you regularly shop there or whether you like that
kind of food... Where we walk might have a huge bearing on the
information we get.

Before this gets too scary, imagine how useful all of this could be for
blind people.  However good you are at finding your way about,
remembering exactly where shops are is a huge challenge, especially as
there are so many changes on our high streets these days. Approach that
doorway which you think is Boots and have it confirmed by your phone.
Approach a new doorway and discover it's that Italian restaurant you
have always wanted to visit but could never find...

A project in Rome has installed talking pavements which, in the first
instance, guide you from a taxi rank in to a building.  The beauty of
these technologies is that they work outside and inside, and they can be
easily re-programmed to take advantage of new or changing information.
In this instance, people get information about one of the largest
hospitals in Rome, including times of clinics and meter by meter
guidance through a mobile phone application.

Smart cities are coming and they have huge potential for blind people,
are we ready for them?



--

DIARY TODAY

Good day, it’s late in the afternoon. A time when people in England take high tea, or in my case, rather than tea from a silver tea pot, poured into ones daintiest cups and saucers, sticking ones little finger out. Fine fresh scones with jam and cream, finger sandwiches and delightful homemade cakes, I have my mug of tea, and bag of crisps. Heheheheehe.

Well, today was the day I was to go out and learn new routes with Waggatail and lady from guide dogs, LC was to be tested too in    what they call aftercare.

We cancelled as the stormy winds here are really dangerous. For the obvious reasons, but mainly because when it is windy, it is what Hub cleverly calls a blind persons fog.

The wind makes so much noise we can’t hear where we are. As we use our hearing to cross the road, so won’t be able to hear cars coming and we listen out for parked cars as the air changes also if a throwaway carting or bag is blowing on our pathway, we won’t hear it is its windy.

To concentrate when my long hair is giving me a balaclava is not a good look.

I have had to move all the furniture in our conservatory. I am shattered. The heavy table and chairs. The cream massage chair and the glass coffee table as well as the hostess trolley. Then I cleaned the floors lifting everything up, so it was done really well. Dusted and changed the table cloth again. I have given the windows a clean in there too. As for my kitchen? Oh God, it took me two hours to do the conservatory. I also cleaned the living room so the kitchen can wait and Hub can help.

Hub is going to write a very useful blog I hope VIP’s will find interesting. I know if it is a success what he will be talking about; it will be great news for those with sight problems.

My burn on my arm is still looking rather dreadful. I have never had such a huge burn like this one.

My friends in Mexico, I still have not heard from but on a social website, I saw that Yam is well, sporting her lovely new car, but sadly, DD is ill again.

For my friends Husband from my old home village, he has had huge problems with his heart. The Doctors stopped all of his tablets to get him to a place where they can operate on him before Christmas as he is very ill.

Well, the last thing I heard was that the Doctors have signed him off, and the hospital has not been in contact with him for ages.

Good old NHS.

Like every organisation, the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing. I just hope they don’t wait until he is too ill or worse.

I mean a few months ago, his heart op was going to be so big, they asked because of the rarity, could students observe.

And now?

OK more tomorrow I hope as we are getting new suppliers for our network. Cheaper. Our land line is coming out in a week, we shall save about £10 per month, but that is over a hundred per year.

Later with love.

Stay safe. X

FIFI TRAPPED?

 

Good afternoon Bloggets. Today I was up and out and about in my front drive. I was wakened by the gusts of wind, I thought of my angel and the bell, as you do. Hahahha.

My poor Christmas lights outside would have smashed if I had not gone out. I no way could go back to sleep knowing that, I just hoped I was not too late.

I went downstairs, the sound of the drum of the wild wind, whizzed around our house.

Put my key in the door and as I began to open it, oh my word!

The front door pushed open as though a giant was standing on my doorstep pushing it open with force.

The letters inside my hall, started to blow around the room. I quickly ran out shutting it behind me. I removed my decorations thanking the Lord they had not removed themselves before I got to them.

I opened the garage door, to place them safely in the garage, as I entered the garage, the up and over door, began to close leaving me trapped in there. Oh God, it was before the birds were awake and Hub knew I was going out, but would not sit up in bed waiting for my return safely to bed, he would be fast asleep by then, hahahaha. Nothing can wake the one I don’t talk about, even our alarm going off in the house the other night, didn’t wake him, my fault, I took my Mums advice and vacuumed the house from he was a day old, played music when he slept, so he is used to all sounds. I never liked it when the baby was a sleep, you had to whisper, haha. No chance of that, so baby got used to noise, but, a house alarm?

So there was no way he would have heard his trapped Mummy in the garage. Well, I almost did a backflip. And Fifi doing a backflip in the garage, with a huge angel and bell in ones hands/arms in the garage through the night was not a good thought.

But I did, and saved myself from being in the tomb of gloom. Hahahahaha. I probably would have got out, but as I have never tried doing so from inside out, I was not ready for that trial.

OK, more on my day later, but because of the weather, not as planned. Xx

 

THE CHRISTMAS FLY

Good evening. I saw Beanie today; we had a lovely time in the town. I bought the one I don’t talk about a beautiful Christmas gift I am rather delighted about. I hope he will love it, as he really deserves a break from the downers of life.

Now I didn’t say that. I got Hub a gift too, so now it’s the waiting game to see if all will be accepted with smiles.

My lovely friend Vivi phoned me from Northumberland. The lady who came last week to see us.

We are going to see her near or just after Christmas. Can’t wait, as Yvonne is going to do the cooking, I love her food, so will be great.

On our way back, Beanie and I talked about how really cold it had become. So Santa must be on his way as in the sky of course, there must be enough snow, for the sleigh to travel.

Hub and I did some wrapping tonight and we all watched the telly for an hour. Had supper and now ready for bed.

The funny thing is, Waggatail, has been caught three times half way up the stairs. We can only think that it is the fly that has been oddly buzzing around our house. He came with the groceries. We had our order delivered and with them came this annoying fly and Wagga is such a softy, she is terrified of it.

Oh dreading tomorrow. The lady from guide dogs is coming.

Scared dot com comes to mind.

We have a pretty terrifying day a head and Long Chops is getting her after care/test done too. But of course she will get an ology in her exam as she is a clever girl, as for Wagga? Hmm!

I shall let you know how we got on tomorrow; I just pray they don’t tell me they are taking her away, as I truly love her. Xx

THE CHRISTMAS FLYGood evening. I saw Beanie today; we had a lovely time in the town. I bought the one I don’t talk about a beautiful Christmas gift I am rather delighted about. I hope he will love it, as he really deserves a break from the downers of life.

OUCH

Good evening or morning I guess it depends where or when you are reading this blog. I have no way of telling the time, as I will wake the house. All my time pieces, talk.

I would guess about three in the morning. I have not been to sleep I am so tired, but can’t sleep for pain.

On a scale of one to ten, I would give myself one. Ten being the healthiest. I have put on so much weight of late, it’s simply horrible.

I feel ten years  older than I am.

Old operations are talking to me and they are not happy and I can hardly walk with a really bad knee I have had for years. When I was a teen, I used to do a lot of running and now I suffer. Also there is too much of me to be held by my legs, even though ones legs are the size of an old oak tree.

Every part of my body hurts. As though kneedles are being pushed through my bones.

And the huge burn I gave myself on the iron the other day, doesn’t help.

As the bed covers keep rubbing against it.

Grumble over. Today I am going out with Beanie and yesterday I saw my beautiful Geordie friend. She was like a light being turned on when she visited.

Typical, she is moving house soon; I really hope we can stay friends. She is such a lovely person.

Next week, Hub has nightmare of travel, so I have a bad week too. I hope to meet up with Arty to walk our dogs, if she is free?

Then Hub off for three weeks. During that time, my mad aunt is coming; I hope to have my lovely friend Julie come to stay. She and I have been friends for about fourteen years and then I am meeting a lady for the very first time. Someone I met online from Japan. She and I connected immediately. She is a lovely person and really cute. Her sense of humour is amazing. I am really looking forward to meeting her and  her friend.

So a lot of people over the next few weeks as well as taking our three dogs to the vet this Saturday. Oh Gosh. That will be a blog for sure. How on earth Hub and I are going to manage three dogs is beyond me.

We also have to see Louis from our restaurant as it is his birthday soon. And on this coming Sunday, we are off to Manchester, to a concert and that  will be a really warm blog, as there will be loads to talk about after then, I am looking forward to Hub and I having our adventure on the train an trying to find our way to the concert hall.

I hope this blog makes sense, as my eyes are closed and my fingers are moving, but in what direction as I type, is nobody’s guess.

Until later when I am awake with love.