We did it!

 Wow, another day in the town. My Husbands suits had to be dry cleaned and they would not walk on their own. He fixed his IPhone and it gave us rough directions. I was terrified. Stepping out of the house is a huge challenge for me let alone go to town doing a rout we did not know. How would we know where the steps were? Which corner to turn, where were the corners? What bins would be in the way that /this day? What would we do if we got off at the wrong stop? How would we know if we were walking in the middle of a road, as sometimes there are no curbs and you just don’t know if you have walked on a road if you do not know the way. Well, we were with our guide dogs, my black beauty and my Husbands long chops. My husband’s dog has a tail like a fox. Huge bushy and so long. It wags all of the time too, she is so happy to work. Mine on the other hand says

“Mummy,  will there be a bed where we go?” She even lies down in a queue. Our bus came and we found a seat, without sitting on anyone this time.

Well on it was a mother with three children. Two of them should have been at school and the third one was a nightmare of a kid. The Mother kept telling the child to shut up or she would turn him around, so he could not see people. In the end, she did turn him around and he was not bothered, he kept crying, in a angry fashion. The louder the child got, the louder the Mother became. Saying things like

“I wished I had left you with your  Dad? Well it was really awful, as just before they got off, she stotted the kids head off the window. You should have heard the thud? I guess she would have a quiet shopping experience? The child made no sound as he was carried off the bus! I guess he was concussed?

Then it was our turn to get off. We were at the right stop. We first went to the dry cleaners. We walked about fifteen minutes. My heart once again was in my mouth Oh it was scarey. I really did not think we would find it. We went into a shop and asked if it was near, we were told close, just a bit further down. Went into another one, managing to find the door not the window? As sometimes, I do  look like a window cleaner.

 

This time it was a café. She said just across the road. Well the road was so busy and there was no crossing but in the distance, we heard a beeping so we took the opportunity and crossed, praying the cars would  not suddenly come speeding up. “Few, we made it. My Husbands long legged long chops wanted to go for a walk down some steps and we learned by listening that that was the way to the river. I can just see that one,

“This way Mummy and Daddy, careful of the steps?” Next thing we know, we have been walked on a boat. Well we resisted the temptations and went into a shop and asked if they knew of the dry cleaners as this shop had no smell, like you would imagine a washing place to have? So we asked if she knew where the dry cleaners was and she replied,

“You’re in it!” To which a cheer could be heard by my Husband and myself.

We did what we needed to do then the challenge of finding our way back, vie the Cornish pasty shop and the lovely café Rouge again, I was spoilt. The bus this time was easier to find as no road works and when we got on, I had time to reflect our day, still numbed by the shock that we actually managed to go somewhere where we did not have a clue in which direction we were to go. Passing all of the shops with their different smells, wondering, guessing, what shops they could be, wishing that we could see, so we could browse like anyone with sight, but greatful that we did the jobs we needed to do, so a chocolate orange muffin for the teen and a strong cup of tea when we safely returned home. Tomorrow? What does that have in store? I wonder if we should not get too cocky and chill at home, though my Husband back at work on Thursday and then on for weeks without a break. So let’s wait and see?

I hope you have a good day where ever you are and be grateful for small Mersey’s, as a little task like finding the dry cleaners, made us proud, so no matter what the challenge you face today, be proud of it. xxxxxx

OLDER By Fiona Cummings

OLDER

By Fiona Cummings

 

 Look at you you young thing

Thinking you have the worries of the world upon your shoulders

Look at me you young thing

You think I am a fool because I am older

 Listen to me you young thing

My words they do forget

But take notice you young thing

Ignore and you may regret

For I have lived a thousand tails

And I have travelled a million trails

So young thing, look into my eyes  and what do you see

Do you witness a soul crying out to be free

Young thing, do not be cold

If I  put out my hand, it is there for you to hold

If you see me struggle to pull out a chair

I have done that to show you I  want you there

Just give me some of your precious time

Do this for me to show you care

You young thing, you have a fresh mind

Don’t be unkind

Learn from me

Listen to me

Then you will know what I see

And one day young thing

You will be me

REMEMBER WE TOO WILL BE OLD ONE DAY

 A poem was sent to me by a very close friend, aged 83. This was written by an old man before he died. The staff from his home wanted this published. It makes you think. Respect those who are old, they are people like you and I, but with more years and more knowledge than we have. Just because parts of the body break down, does not mean we are rubbish, fit for the bin!  The next time you see a person who has more years than you, remember these words?
Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . . ... . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man .. . . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . .. . . With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . . . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . .. . .. Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . .. You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . .. With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . . . Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . .. . . My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. . . . . That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . .. . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . .. To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . And nature is cruel
Tis jest to make old age . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . .. . . Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . Life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . .. Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer . . . See ME!!

THE ART OF THE BATTLE

Today I would like to  share with you a story about one of many wonderful days I had  years ago in a place just outside Moscow, called Borodino.

I travelled to the former U.S.S.R from the age of six, till I was in my early twenties, and whilst

Suffering painful treatment to try to save my eyesight, I had afternoons of free time, where I could forget the excruciating needles that had been placed in my body that morning as well as the electric shock treatment and the inhumane conditions that I was faced with on a daily occurrence.

 

One day, our interpreter asked if we would like to go to the expedition of Borodino? I thought, “Oh, no, not another museum?” But this one was amazing. I was not sure what to expect, thought that it would involve boring artwork that I could not really see, as in those days, I could see a bit, but not enough to see paintings.

 The Battle of Borodino Panorama, is so unique, or it was to me, at the time an eleven year old impressionable girl.

Late August of 1912, Franz Roubaud's panorama "Battle of Borodino was first displayed in Moscow. Paradoxically, the greatest painting of the major battle of the Russian Patriotic War which was created by a Russian born in Odessa who came from a family of a French merchant.

. The Panorama "Battle of Borodino" had Russian artists involved in its creation. This work of art has quite an unusual, fate. Despite the fact that the painting, is now  100 years old, it was unavailable to the public, for nearly half of its creative life.

The giant canvas was commissioned to a famous artist Franz Roubaud by Tsar Nicholas II on the eve of the 100th anniversary of the War of 1812. The emperor's choice was logical, as Roubaud earlier directed the development of other large scale panoramic paintings

We went into the round building. It was dark and the history was explained. Five painters from all around the world painted this marvellous peace of art. The round panoramic building was covered floor to ceiling with art that combined  past,  present and real life works. The art was lit in a discrete manner, as though to replica daylight.

As a young girl, I refused to believe that I was not looking through a window. The painting was too realistic. There was even a fire burning close to the picture of a fence, what was real? The fire? The fence or the painting? Was the fence painted, or real? We were told that was the illusion. Oh it was so amazing. It blew my mind. Down to the expressions of the faces of the   people, which were so perfectly, painted with pain.

The art joined the earth. Soil met with the hours of paint work. A rope prevented the public from getting too close to the art and we were looked at by ladies in headscarves, watchfully, waiting to whip out weapons of torture, if you were to dare to do anything out of place, rightfully so, with such a  master peace greeting us.   

Our interpreter arranged for us to go to visit the actual place Borodino.

We had to get permission to do so, as it was outside of Moscow and it was the days when Russia was not as free as the west was then, not saying now!

We took a car and off we went. We drove forever and the road to all day. Well as the car slowed down, I looked out of my side of the car window to see nothing but trees of strong white birch, standing so tall and strong. So streight, baring few leaves, as though starving from care and nourishment. Trees what whispered secrets of days gone by. Their poor past, painfully tortured by the proximity of war!

 

The place looked so boringly baron. Our car pulled up and out we got.

This was where the war took place. The air was still, the sun had a filter of misty yellow clouds, and all that sheltered us was the vast amount of trees. Death for sure showed its ugly head at Borodino and the tragic knowledge of the battle, thanks to the panorama, came flooding back to me.

There was a wooden dilapidated building. We went to it. We were met by a huge Alsatian and went into the peasants parlour.

We were shown to a table, with its plastic cover on. The place had that smell of dampened wood, an yet, warm with smiles and sounds of the old copper, miracle that is lovingly known as the  Samovar boiling the water, for our tea.

 

Cheese was given to us on a rustic chopping board, before it became fashionable to present such food  over here in Europe! The lady with her plump Motherly frame, proudly announced that the cheese like everything from the cool plates, were all homemade. The butter was delightful, as were the jams. We were served nuts from a silver coloured dish and homemade soup, as well as the delicious crusty bread, still warm from the aga. We drank tea with lemon from the traditional cups, orange, with white spots, served from the huge matching tea pot.

The lights were dull, like church candles and the wooden framed artwork, depicting peasants picking potato’s and tea, dressed the wooden walls.

There was a ambience of sadness, an yet I felt so at home and at peace with the world.

It was a warm sunny day and we walked through the woods, our interpreter picked berries for her home. Berry’s we would leave in the U K. for the birds. There were wild mushrooms again, we, would not chance them, but our girl was delighted she had provided platters of offerings from the outskirts of the fine deprived city. Fine with culture and soul. Fine with the masterful presence the vast city offered, an yet full of darkness, from the past.

THE ANGEL APRIL

A monster took you on that autumn day

 all you did was innocently play

we prayed that someone would make that find

how much pain you have now left behind

your life was so short with those who care

there should have been more for us all to share

our hearts now have a painful tare

let’s hope you are flying high

with pure white wings in a sunny sky

For little April Jones. Aged five.

TO TOWN WITH THE TERRORIST

Whilst I am completely exhausted, I want to take time out to say have a happy Monday?

Oh boy, what a day? After a great night last night at our church, where the people were so very friendly, I met a fellow Geordie called gale and of course Kevin who is so sweet and kind and then there was our lovely  Welsh friend and his really lovely family, our  Welsh friend is a real character. He is hilarious so very funny the way  in which he tells a story and he laughs with my jokes, the man deserves a medal for that? We had a right good session of singing and eating some lovely food made by the kind people of the church and even the so called plum lady came and spoke to us. Haha, she gave us some plums last time we went, we thought we  would get a few? No, there were enough plums to keep both Robinsons and Hartley’s jam companies in business and they were delicious. So now she is loveling known as the plum lady. It’s a great night at the church where people mingle and laugh a lot.

Today? Oh my word it was just exhausting. We went to the town and my Husbands iPhone decided to not work, so the street instructions would not speak to us. Well my heart was in my mouth wondering if we had got off at the right place, we did and off we went to the bank. Then the dry cleaners with my husband looking like a cross between a hiker and a terrorist with his rucksack on his back full of suits. The dry cleaners, just closed down and was now a firework shop. So  we went to our favourite café, Café Rouge. That was lovely then the bus home, oh, after we happened to find by the sound, a shop that did keys so we got one copied for our garage. Sound is a wonderful thing, to be able to hear, though I would rather be deaf, as blind, as when deaf, you can see it is a machine in the shop that makes keys, and not a hair dressers with their hair dryer’s. You can also see the blooming steps too, so you don’t fall. We had to be so alert as the market was on and the delivery vans were parking up with their diesel engines. Some of the roads you cross, feel beneath your feet, like you are still on a path, you can not deferentuate the path from the road, this makes it hard, when you need to know at what point you need to turn down a street.

Then came the bus stop? Well there were road  works, so the bus did not pull up where it should have done, after we missed a couple of busses, we were told this, it is on a busy main road, so impossible to hear when a bus comes along. Thank God, a lovely lady asked if we were waiting for the number*? We got on the bus and then to find a seat. There was one right at the back of the bus, then you put up with all the questions about how we manage and how wonderful our dogs are? Hahahaha. IF only they had seen us earlier?

We got home, after my black beauty, fell down the step in the bus, doing an impression of a broken ironing board. We took the dogs on the field for a treat and then could not find the way out of the field. Hahahahaha. Oh well, I found loads of  nettles then the gate. Now we are home and I am going to help my Husband to fill skip number nine. Don’t ask. More tomorrow and in the meanwhile, look after yourself and if your in love and it’s not going right, look left. xxx   

Lot's to chat about

Lots to talk about this week. Had a great night tonight and in the morning, my Husband and I are going to attempt the town…..Oh boy? Will let you know all about it later

THE THINKING TREE By Fiona Cummings

THE THINKING TREE

By Fiona Cummings

 

 As the rivers flow and time passes by

I sit under my favourite tree

 wondering why

This has happened to me

The green leaves are sheltering me from raindrops falling

Protecting me from seasons warnings, calling

As summer ends and autumn falls

The raindrops sing their song of sadness

Leaving me to debate madness

Puddles of pain, pool around my feet

Shivering within, praying for heat

People passing by

We all live under the same sky

But how different our lives can be

Some lucky people have a family

For me

I have no one

No home

I just roam

But always come back to my shelter of my tree

It is here where I belong

It is here where I can be free

No one can hurt me when I am alone

Though I ponder on my past

Weary of my life going so fast

What do I have to show for it but my heart of warmth

My words of wisdom

And my story to tell

How I have travelled to heaven and found myself in hell

 

(“GOD BLESS THOSE WHO DO NOT HAVE A SHELTER TONIGHT AND EVERY NIGHT)

MY TEEN THE PLUMBER

My teen the plumber

Ok I made some homemade soup in my huge pan and it was lovely, but there is only so much soup you can eat, so by day three came along, we were sick of looking at it and I am funny with keeping food so did it go in the bin? No, it went down the sink…Next thing I know, is there is water coming out of my cupboard from under the sink. To cut a very long story short, my teen decided to get our  tool box, with its limited collection of tools and fix it? “Oh boy, I thought. But it could not be made any worse, right?

Well first he got out of his designer clothes and into a pair of black shorts. I looked at him as though to say, “Son, how wet are you intending getting?

First he had to show me something.

“Mum, come away from the window?”

I did,

“Look at my chest?” Look at my six pack. Oh God, the list went on as I am hearing dripping coming from my kitchen.

“Very nice Son, now can you look at the sink?” He did and after loads of water came out of the pipe and he shouted

“Oh no, water, what will I do?” I said get some paper towelling and a dish.

Well three rolls of towelling later, he fixed it. He is my hero……..Then the funniest thing happened.

There was a dish  of water he told me I could empty it. I did to the sound of veg from the soup going back down the blooming plug

“Oh no?” My teen shouted , that’s the soup?” quickly I rescued it and now all good.

Enjoy your weekend my friends. x

  

LOSTBy Fiona Cummings

I know I have lost you

You have left my life

But to hold you one more time

And remove this symbolic knife

Would mean the world to me

Could let me live in peace

You just did  not say goodbye

Left me in darkness to cry

It’s the unknown where are you

Don’t you know I love you?

I can hear your voice

And your laughter I need

Come back for one moment

This request I plead?

SILVER TEA POT AND A GOLDEN DELIGHT

Good afternoon friends. Today I would like to share with you the most wonderful day that we had yesterday! Searching the net, I found a lovely idea for my Husbands birthday. A visit to York’s finest hotels, for afternoon tea! The elaborate surroundence and exquisite hotel, The Cedar Court Grand Hotel York, steep in  its history was an ideal birthday treat.

The hotel was built early 1900s and  four years and five million bricks later, with its black and white Belgian marble in the entrance hall. Splendid terrazzo with Roman mosaic margins was laid in the corridors, whilst patterned wood blocks were used in the offices.

It has been known that the finest orchestras, have performed on the top of the staircase of the main entrance hall. “How romantic and different?” I  thought! We can go for an Indian cuisine for friends coming, this was a day I wanted to remember for my hard working love.  

I made a reservation the day before and the lady who took my details, was so unobtrusive and gave no fuss at the fact that we might have a guide dog or I was a vegetarian, in fact such little fuss was made, I wondered if when I arrived there was a need to remind the staff of my food choice? There was no need at all. We got out of the taxi, without our dogs, and were met at the welcoming entrance, by the delightful extremely well educated Concierge, who welcomed us and took my arm. I felt as though I was going to be married to the King of England. But you know us? There had to be a laugh. There was me, speaking my finest English, rolling my A’s and o’S Speaking in a demure fashion and my Husband had obviously a new starter at the hotel, of which I am sure will not be in the front line today. Speaking in a beautiful English accent, my gentleman asked me was I attending afternoon tea  for a special occasion. Ending the question with the word Madam. I answered it was my Husbands birthday and he politely turned to my husband  with the foreign helpful person guiding him and congratulated him. To which the man with my husband asked in his broken English

“Oh how old are you then?” hahahahahah. Love replied “Too old!”

“Come on tell me how old?” Pleaded the man.

 “Put it this way,  my numbers now can not be reversed!” As at this point I should tell you he is 44. To which the man said in a voice which did not fit the surroundings we found ourselves,

“Fifty five?” Hahahahahahahahahlolololol. Oh I so wanted to burst with laughter, but had to behave. I found myself beaming in silence thinking oh, boy, you’re in for it? Put it this way, he was not there to guide us out. I think there would be a lot of dish washing done by a certain young man that day?

We were lead to our table with the finest quality table cloths and napkins were placed on our knee. Surrounded by solid silver the table was beautiful. If we  could see, we would have the views of the castle walls but we did not need to see that day, as we had our senses and imaginations.

The waiter brought our sandwiches on platters and announced mine were vegetarian. I was in shock that it was remembered. Oh they were tiny fingers of pure delight. Sandwiches you would not make at home and my taste buds were awakened, whilst taking in the tranquil atmosphere of the long fine room, steept in history. We were asked what kind of tea we required and read out a list of about fifteen teas. I chose cinnamon and orange and my Husband chose an unpronounceable tea, in which I had never heard of but that reminded me of the person he is. A well-travelled gent. He said his tea served  from a solid silver tea pot, had a beautiful woody fragrance. Mine was so subtle and light. Oh it was wonderful I could not remove the smile from my face.

It was so nice to get out of the house and into a world in which I could escape from life. Then came the huge silver stand with decadent delights of homemade scones with a plate of clotted cream and  jars of preservatives. On the top layer of the three layered stand, was the small cakes. I cannot describe how they tasted as my taste buds have never been honoured in that fine way. One of the cakes, covered in a chocolate that was obviously home made just exploded and my eyes felt as though they were going to cry. I found myself unable to say anything as my motions were numbed by pure bliss. Oh it was beautiful and the waitress served us fresh tea to refresh our pallets. A wonderful wonderful day and a hotel and Spa I can highly recommend, if you require the typical,  opulence, quintessential English experience.

LOVE V LUST

LOVE V LUST

Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection

Scientists highlight the mental and physical clues that tell us we're in love.
Your heart beats faster. You can hear your blood pulsing in your veins. Every time he even looks at you, you feel a burst of energy. You Catch Yourself Staring.

 They say that the eyes are what matters most. When you're in love, you involuntarily cannot keep your eyes off, the object of your affection. Humans naturally find eye contact rewarding. Not only that, but we're physically compelled to pursue eye contact with our romantic interests. So how do the blind fall in love? Because believe it or not, we do! If we don’t have eye contact, what replaces that? Well, how fragranced our suitors are and how they speak.

 You Feel High when you realize you've been hyperactively talking about your new beau, you might think you've had too much caffeine. It's actually a different drug.
They say, being in love is like being high on cocaine, Many of the physical symptoms are the same: increased energy, increased heart rate and blood pressure (especially when you see the person), and the inability to sleep or eat are just a few. Feelings of euphoria also appear with cocaine use, as they do when in love. These symptoms occur because, while the brain produces dopamine on its own, it produces even more when in love. The brain also produces more of the chemical norepinephrine when we're in love, speeding up the heart when we're nervous, as we might be upon seeing our loved one..

We Can't Keep our Hands Off Each  Other when we're in love, our bodies will subconsciously lean toward each other, a physical manifestation of the brain's desire for emotional closeness.

 You Can't Stop Thinking About Him...With the increased dopamine levels of romantic love, people think about their romantic interests, on average, 85 percent of the day. This is known as "intrusive thinking."

studies have shown that people in relationships live longer; they also tend to be healthier and have a greater sense of well-being. Supposing one of them have not finished off the other in the meanwhile?

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), the heightened emotions and general euphoria brought on by romantic love, are said to eventually fade.
The first stages are regarded not to last as it would be too intense.. Even the most intense romantic love is said not to last  more than six months." But don't worry. As feelings of intense romantic love wane, feelings of attachment develop and that's what keeps people together for the long run. But that is scientific studies, in real life, I know people who have been together for years and their fires are still burning!

So what is the difference between Love and Lust?

? Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate and is a an emotion or feeling of intense uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire  in the body.

Often confused with love, it is purely physical attraction and has no lasting effect.

So who has the most fun, those in love, or those who find lust?

Love is forever and in my opinion, if you can conflate love with lust, you have it perfect.

Lust can be the best feeling in the world, if it is reciprocated. But when it leaves your life? You come down with a bump.

I simply love these quotations from the writer Jerod Kinzt. See what you think?

 “She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to. 
”

 

“When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream, I saw the future.” A little scientific today friends, but lighter topics to  follow and if you are interested, I will write a sequel to Facing the darkness my blog on the day I woke without sight.  

Until later and hope your all loved up?

THE STRESSES OF LIFE

The stresses of life

My Husband has had his flight cancelled in Madrid today, got on eventually and after waiting ages in London, for a person to assist his journey to the next stage, the London Tube, he found out that the Tubes were all delayed too! Now I’m not sure if  he is on the tube yet, as his mobile is going onto answer machine, this could be because he is underground?

He is amazing how he does all this travel.  

I could not do it. All around the world in the dark. He can never relax, as he always has to know of his where abouts and where he has to get on and off and more times than enough, there is no one to show him off the flight to the next stage of his journey. He does not travel with his guide dog abroad, as it would not be good for her. So he relies on the good public and there are a few left and his own initiative.

Talk tomorrow folks Take care x

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I have a lot of pain in my eyes today. But I  am working hard to get my Husbands birthday ready for tomorrow. He returns from Spain and Greece tonight and tomorrow is his birthday.  The old thing will be 44! We met when we were six.  How time goes by? I am so very touched at all of your lovely words you have given me with these blogs. You will never know how much that means? Though one day if I get my wish, you might understand.  I will write tomorrow and tell you about our birthday boy but for today, smile and the world will smile with you! With love Fiona x

FACING THE DARKNESS

I was born to parents who wanted me so badly, little did they know, after having me, their lives would be full of pain.? When I was a year old, My parents took me to the Doctors to inform them that they thought there was something wrong with my sight, but because my eyes looked fine they dismissed her. She told them time and time again, that I dropped toys and could not find them again. They said in a rather condescending manner, that she was neurotic and I was just a lazy child.

After lots of trips to various medics, they had to admit that I had a eye condition, called Retinitis Pigment tosa and I would be blind by the age of thirteen. My Mum was horrified in the way the nasty Doctor delivered the news.

My poor parents could not have their own child and adopted me, after being turned down twin babies as one of them had a skin complaint. They got me instead. In their words, “A beautiful baby girl, with blue eyes and gold hair.

Not once in  my life, did they say that they wished that they got the baby with the skin trouble. Even though for many years she took  me around the world to try to find a cure.

I went to the baths in Lourdes that was a very traumatic experience, a story for another day, or in time, my autobiography, I hope? I went through horrendous trips and ending up in the U.S.S.R in the days of core communism. “The iron curtain as it was unlovingly known as.

I suffered the worst conditions known to man out there. Had pain, cruelty and extreme treatment, leading to a stability for my eyesight.

My whole life was based on being able to see I was not allowed to go to a sighted school though and ended up in a boarding school for the blind, where I had/have the best friends possible but the house staff had a lot to be desired and the coldness of the nights, when I just wanted my Mum and Dad were so painful. I was not allowed to learn Braille, as the Doctors in Russia, said that was for blind people and I was not blind and never would be.

After over 20 years of going to Russia, it became like my second home. I was in a very odd country, a distant country, a fearful country an yet a place I felt at home. Anywhere would do me as long as I was with my Mum. I had to visit Russia every six months for up to six weeks. of harsh treatment.

So much went on in the  former Soviet Union but that is for a book, rather than a blog.

For me Russia was an escapism. The only place  my Mum was at peace, knowing she was in her mind, helping her daughter to see. It was an escape from

 the media, press at my parents door almost every week pushing their cameras at our windows and chasing me down the street as a child I attempted to play as a normal child would?

 My parents lives were in constant turmoil. They had may be two holidays in their life with me and always worried  about money. My Dad worked so very hard every shift down the coalmines. He had a dreadful time of it in conditions that  were horrendous. He worked with only four foot between him and the coalface. So he crawled cutting coal, with a heavy machine. A nasty job he did till one day, the pit caved in on him and he almost lost his life.

Money really did run dry and my parents’ ended up in so much debt. When my Mum died, there was £75,000 in the red in her name. I had to stop going to Russia against my Mums wishes, but I was a adult and I could not take any more. Though I am so grateful to my parents, as I was allowed to see the beautiful face of my baby boy, but just before his first birthday, it all went wrong!

Cutting a very long story short, that dooms day came when I not long had had my new born baby, my now teen.

I went to bed on that day thanks to the treatment in Russia, I had read a  magazine, watch the television, saw to my Son and cleaned the house, admiring the newly bought daffodils in the small crystal vase on the windowsill. The night was of a normal sunny, summers eve. My Husband got up very early the next day for work.

I woke to the birds in the garden singing, through a half opened window, allowing in the fresh warm air. There was no rain forecast, an yet it was so very dull. No, then I realised it was more than dull, what was happening? I went to the window and heard the traffic passing by, children going to school, our neighbours dog barking and someone cutting their grass?

I said out loud

“This is not  normal?” I went to turn on the light, looked up to the ceiling and there was nothing. I thought that the electric had gone off, “Perhaps there was a storm coming?” I went to look at the clock radio, to see the orange glow of the time, but of course, there was no electric, so that would not work. I had my baby’s bottle to warm up and I worried how I would do that?

It could not have been through the night, as my husband had gone to work, he kissed me goodbye before he left and he left at half past six and it was light then? I did not know what was going on. I went to  the phone and there was a tone. I put on the radio, it worked, so the electric was on, so I then thought that our clock radio was broken. I put down the phone, went to the window again, I then gulped as reality kicked in. It was the end of the world. Oh my God I was afraid. Some nuclear war had occurred? Hand to my chest, I picked up the phone again to see if my parents were ok? I rang their number, struggling not being able to see the dial to do the numbers, my Mum answered and I said

“Mum, are you ok?”

“Of course,” She replied.

“Mum, what is the weather like at your place?” She replied

“It’s a beautiful sunny day darling!” Then laughed as I lived only two miles from her so my weather should be the same?

I replied

“Mum, it’s so dark here. My lights don’t work and I cannot get the numerals on my clock to work. I can not even see my hand mum? Just then my baby woke up. I waited for an answer from my Mum. There was nothing. Just silence. Oh I thought now my phone does not work?

“Mum? Mum?” I panicked shouting her name, shivering with shattered realisation.

I had lost my sight.

Oh my God…

I HAVE BEEN ASKED?

Good morning my friends. I stayed up all night to see where the sun
went. Then it dawned on me.

 Well I have de stunk the dogs, gave them a good old brush with the cat brush and their glossy and black. Oh, and sneezing with the dog deodorant I sprayed on them. Johnsons velvet, the only thing that works. What story can I tell you today? Well, firstly, I have been asked by our church, to write this year’s Nativity play, so I am not only honoured but excited. I wonder if our church is ready to be Cummingsd? My sense of humour will have to be on its best behaviour.

I am a little shocked though and I must say, a bit offended that they did not ask me to be the baby Jesus? Hahahaha

So a serious blog or a fun one? Well both, I will write a serious blog after this one about a subject, that changed my world for the second time in my life. Three times in total I have had life changing moments, but my next blog, was a one which left me shattered.

Those of you who are wondering if my conservatory man survived the other day, yes he did. He did a lot of pointing and I did a lot of saying yes, so I hope I have the right colours in the right places? I even managed to make him a cup of tea, without drowning him, or me. No embarrassing moments there, oh, you see, I am so used to behaving in an embarrassing way, I did do one thing that was not too clever, when he left, and I noticed a draft. Around my chest area. On further examinations, I had one of my breasts more exposed than it should have been. I mean, quite a lot more. Oh, well, he did do a job for me that was not on the list? Hahahahahaha.

The teen has been behaving himself of late, though there is another party coming up so I wonder if that is why? The other day I was about to sew his blazer for school, when he told me he would do it. I said it was ok, I did not want it ending up like a dogs back leg, but he insisted that he would do it.

It was only four o clock in the afternoon and he was pulling down the blinds in the sitting room. I asked what ever for, when he said he did not want any of his friends seeing him sewing. I did not care it was one job lless for me and my ears got a break from the delightful Dean. “Canary!” Our canary is so loud. I am sure he is a record breaker? Did I tell you he was an Irish Canary? Yes, when he sings, he goes

“Didilididildididildidoo! Then does a little Irish jig….. …… Ok, well he tweets and jumps around his cage.

He is our second canary the first one, bless her was a he-she. We thought he was a he, turned out he was a she, but we still kept his/her name of Jeffers. “Don’t ask!”

Well my iron has blown up so I need to go and order a new one from Amazon. Let’s hope that the description is good? Believe me, I have ordered some corkers?  

Till laters my little bloggets sent from my I pod….Oh no, I have not got one of those, sorry sent from my heart instead. xxhaha

LIFE AFTER DEATH

A friend of mine of late has been discussing whether or not there is a God. Or life after death? All I can tell her in her grief after losing her Father, is we just do not know. No one knows for sure, but you cannot say there is nothing after death when you have not been there to find out. I believe in some funny religion that my close friends know about. I say I believe, though I do not know if my findings are true! All I know is that from a baby, I have sensed things that scared me as a child right up to my adult life. I could see a bit as a child and early years of adulthood. So before I lost my sight, I saw things in the same way as I do now and that is images on the inside of my lenses, so when I could see, I could be looking at someone,  but there could be a film over their face, like  a see threw picture? Sorry if this makes no sense, but I can only describe it like that. I never talked about it as a child but when I got older I started to not feel uncomfortable about it and for sure I am not ashamed of it as for me it is normal.

Now for those who have never met me, I do not live in a crooked, crumbling, cottage, in the depths of dark, damp woodland, I have a four bedroomed detached house that is 20 years old and quite modern. I do not have lank, long black hair popping through a pointy hat, and my dogs forbid me from owning a cat” The only large terrenes I own, are my soup pan and our slow cooker. So no potions going on there, though if you saw me making my soup last night, you would question that, as everything went in there.

I am a “With-it, wonder, without a wand!” Ok, I’m not so with it, and the only time I wonder, is when my guide dog gets us lost.

But I have seen faces of those who are going to die and those who are going to have babies. I knew about Princess Di, dying a week before she did and I knew about other famous people a couple of months before they left this earth and I see incidences. It was an aunt of mine who said many years ago, if you do not want this so called gift, say so, say allowed. Well, sorry like, but I thought to myself, I know I am a bit of a nutter, but I am not starting to talk to myself? Well, the next time the so called black moment occurred, I did…….Hahahahahahlololol, just before I almost broke my neck, running for a light.

Before my beloved Dad died when I was thirty, I started to see a fraction of his hair at nights when I lay my head on my pillow. He was ill with cancer, so you could say well I knew? Of course I did, but we were told for seven years he was dying with cancer and he had been in and out of hospital so many times knocking on deaths door. When I tried to block the visions out of my head, I started to see him through the day. I shut that away in one of my many boxes and that did not work either. When I refused to see his face, clothing that I had bought him the Christmas before, was showing to me. Oh it was awful. I worshipped my Dad. Then I started to see a car. I did not mind the car, as I wondered if the family were going to get a new one? Ok it was a black car? But it seamed to focus on only chrome. So much chrome on this car. I asked what cars had lots of chrome on and the answers coming back, were all cars that none of my family could afford.

My Dad passed away a week later and I could not bare to go to his funeral. I know that will shock people reading this, but you have to try and understand my circumstances?  I had not long had my new baby son, now the teased teen on my blogs, and a month before my Dad passed away, I woke to my idea of hell. Sight loss overnight. I also could never cry in front of my Mum. Another story. I also felt like I wanted to say goodbye to my Dad my way and I did that the day he was cremated. One of the things I did, was take a teddy bare to the funeral director to place on his coffin from my Son.

I could not believe the words that were getting said to me when I arrived at the funeral directors office?” They pointed. I asked what they were pointing at and they told me

“Oh, Fiona, there are seven cars here, I hope your Dad gets that one

  All the cars were plain black but there was one that had the shiniest chrome on. I asked to touch the car and I could not believe it. I just broke down. As the funeral director came out and told me that was going to be my Dads car and they would get it ready for him. Did I see the death of my Dad?

Some weeks went by. Life was num. The pain was unbearable and I visited my Mums house with despair. I just waited for my Dad coming through the door with his cheeky smile and funny whit. But he never did.

My Mum got a man in to clean her carpets; we had never met him before. He walked into the house as my Mum proclaimed, and he stopped still. Looked at my Mum and asked her was she ok? She replied yes, he then went onto tell her he sees spirit and Ray, is ok! “He knew my Dads name? Ok, he could have heard about us?” He then did the oddest thing, and that was to get my Mum to smell, yes smell, his shirt cuff. My Mum put her hand to her mouth as he went on to tell her

“Ray used soap to shave. Then told her the make of the soap he used. Well she burst out crying as he did use that soap and it was not a common soap. He then said that the only time he was sad where he was now,, was when her, and his daughter, cried. He told my Mum to prove he was alright there would be a missing ring. My Mum said no, she never took her ring off and my Dad did not have one. He said it was not her, ring, and it would become clear.

We forgot all about this and some weeks went by, about two, and I took off my wedding ring one night as my fingers were itchy from nettles in the garden that day. I went to put on my ring the next day and it was missing.  My husband and I looked everywhere for it, my friend came a few days later and she had a look, this was after we had the bed upside down and drawers lifted. She too could not find it.

About five weeks later, I was awoken by my baby. I knew it was time to get up, as he was my alarm. I shouted to him that Mummy was coming and remembered the date. November the 11^th. My Dads birthday. Tears in my eyes I picked up the phone to call my Mum, to see if she was ok on this day? Just as I was talking to her, I put my hand on my drawers, why? Not sure, but right on top of my wedding ring. I told my Mum of my findings and she was delighted like me that I had found it, though it will always remain a mystery how it got there.

 

HEADLINES

 These are some light headlines, just to remind us that you can smile when you hear some news?
A cardboard Policemen, used as a crime prevention aid, has been stolen from a supermarket
(I BET THE THIEF WAS JUST BORED?)

Postmen failed to collect letters from a postbox at one of the country's busiest railway stations for23 years
(must have been one heck of a sized postbox?)

A strange ominous trumpet like sound has been heard all over the world again
(I LISTENED TO THE VIDEO;S OF THE SOUNDS. IT IS THE MOST UNEARTHLY SOUND YOU CAN HEAR. WOULD TERRIFY ME! SOUNDED  LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN A PREHISTORIC DINOSAUR AND A HUGE IRON BAR MOVING IN THE WIND. THE SOUND HAS BEEN HEARD IN THE "THE 4 CORNERS OF THE WORLD! "SO WE ARE SQUARE AFTER ALL?)

70 year old farmer been found eaten by his hogs, in America. Only dentures remained.
(NOW HE AND HIS FAMILY KNOW WHAT THE POOR PIGS GO THROUGH WHEN THEY, GET SLAUGHTERED?

Justin Bieber throws up  on stage
(THE SICKLY SWEET SINGER, BEEN EATING TOO MANY CANDIES?)

I hope this Tuesday morning finds you all well? More later. x

Please stay?

A white stallion came my way

Something I never expected on that sad day

He beckoned me to climb on his strong back

Then galloped into the distance through rivers so blue

I did not want to come back, to the world I knew

For he had shown me a better view

I put my trust in him that day

I prayed he would never run away

He showed me the sun and taught my heart to play

He looked into my eyes and showed me his soul

I loved his heart and he made me feel whole

I developed wings and together we flew

As we drank the air so thirsty for freedom

Though without sight,  I could still see him

He took me to the sun and taught me how to have fun

He showed me I could run

He turned on my light

And gave me fight

I pray he will forever stay

Loyal to each other till the end of day

A LATE LUNCH

Powerful Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.

When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Did you hear about the geeky spider? He now has his own website

Ok, I know they are bad today, but it is Monday and laughs are hard to get on a Monday, Or, are they?

For friends who have lost loved ones

We little Knew that morning that God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly. In death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you; you did not go alone; for part of us went with you, the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide; and though we cannot see you,you are always at our side. Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again

This poem Broken Chain by Ron Tranmer is one of remembrance. It is so beautiful and I want to send it to two of my Fb friends. x 

Monday marvels

How are we all on this fine Monday morning? Me? Thank you for asking, I am absolutely fine! I just had a call from a modelling agency, For me? Naha, I am still waiting from Flab fashions . com to get back to me on that one? Must have been the boiler suit I had on on, on the photo I sent in. I thought it looked fetching? No an agency,  wanting to put Andrei forward for their agency. So will vanity prevail?

I am waiting for a man to come and fit the skirting bordes in my conservatory and a heater, though will be too anxious to turn it on as it is an electric one and they cost a fortune. I will not scare him like I did the plumber. Or, will I???

Ok here are some tips for the week

1.      To guard against fatigue, place tarragon in your shoes before starting a long hike. (POOR TARRROGON? WHAT HAS HE DONE TO DESERVE SUCH TREATMENT?) ,

2.      The darkness of night cannot stop the light of morning. (I love that one)

3.                     He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. (Explains the waistline?)

Ok, its official, I am mad. But here for you! Ok, my man has been here ten minutes, I will go and see if there is anything I can do for him? Hahahaha, Oh God, I bet there will be a story behind this one? Laters friends x