When you have worn skirts or dresses for the past two weeks
and this morning so tired you put on that skirt, only it’s trousers, not a
skirt? I couldn’t understand how it seemed so tight on the legs.
And when you take time to wipe the garden table drying it
too getting all your working equipment out to write and take your seat for it
to pour down with rain? I guess it’s going to be one of those days…. In fact,
it’s been one of those weeks. Out the other day I got hit badly by a bike thank
God my dog was OK. And yesterday I did the thing that no person who has no
vision should do. I felt something on the floor whilst I was cleaning. Not recognising
what it was with my foot, I at great speed bent down to pick it up only to
learn it was my Dyson and I was kicking the base and slammed into the top of
the tube busting my mouth and under my nose. Once again, day two of Fifi being
generous with her blood.
I still have only two tomatoes on my plants. But I have more
flowers so, there is hope.
My brother in law has kindly asked me to go and stay at his
for a few days. Bless him.
Well our Son has survived almost another week at his job
amazing so proud of him as every day I think he expects to be finished as they
need to make so many cuts and they have got rid of every person who started
with our boy, before him a few have been finished and some who came after him
too. Some of them were really great workers. I just don’t understand how they
pick who is going and who is staying. He has to wait until Christmas to see if
he will be kept on full time. Hopefully he will get to then. He is doing so
brilliantly well though. His brain is allowed to shine there. Thank goodness he
has work to keep his brain alive as after work he is spending a lot of time
with people who can’t give him the stimulation he needs.
Oh, I am sick of the noise around here. The Emergency
services are constant. It’s a main road to the hospital too. Some of those
services now sound like space crafts.
A question for you to ponder over.
What kind of person
are you? If you are the weather. Are you sunny all the time, sunny with gentle
rain showers at times, blustery forceful winds, floods of damage, cold frosty, Icey
hard person? Or, all of those things. Do you ride on the force of your hurricane
being fuelled by your fury and then crash down in a mess that waits to be swept
away by the road sweepers of life?
If you are the gentle rain who falls in time with your
tears, I hope you find love. If you are the thunder and lightning and ferocious
winds that wreak havoc, I hope you are loved more. For me, I’m a total contradiction
a pendulum that swings between the sun, snow and storms of life. I crave my independence, my solitude but
tomorrow I will want to be held like no one has ever held me before. And understood
as if you can read my mind. I fear of suffocation and abandonment but don’t
want to be told what to do or kept in a cage of life. I don’t have a clue how
to find the perfect balance between the changes the insecurities I have and the
pure stubborn and self-opinionated views I think I own.
I wish I had a pound coin for every time someone told me I
am courageous, gosh I would be rich by now, I even have awards for bravery, but
to me, I am the most cowardly person I know. I am like a frightened child alone
in the world but then I fight like a lion for those I love.
I kind
of envy those of you who are quite simple in your daily forecasts. Non complicated.
Every day there is sunshine in your lives but when occasionally it does rain,
you see it as watering the plants and wildlife so it’s no big deal to you. You are
positive. Never see negative, even when it hits you in the face. Your cup is
always full where as mine is always half empty. I used to be a very positive
person. Many many years ago. Then life took over and reality kicked in!
I do love the challenge though of seeing a positive out of
something negative. Even if I totally don’t believe what I am trying to do. The
positive thoughts and words do help.
Well I’m off now to cook for my loves and then get ready to
go out with friends. So, until later, take care cos I care.
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