THE WEDDING PARTY

Yesterday morning was quite relaxed as I got my clothes ready the night before. My Son looked absolutely beautiful. He wore his grey suit with a matching waist coat, pink shirt and matching tie. My Husband and I were both in pink too, so I guess you could say we were in the pink?

We took the train for half an hour and my brother in law met us at the station. Onto the wedding we went and sat in the bar. I had a couple of orange juices

Then the groom came in and he was so anxious bless him. Little did we know then, not as anxious as he was about to be?

As the guests came in my boy went off to talk with family members and we got told that we would be split up and not on the same table as people we knew. Oh God, I felt bad at this point, as I hate the initial hello.

In came the best man, my Brother in laws young lad. He’s about eleven now, so almost the same age as my Son was at our wedding.

So lots of sounds blended in with the talking, music and bar tools.

As a blind person, this is the most difficult time, in crowds. I have friends who don’t mind it at all, but I can’t stand it. As conversations by others, just blend in with each other. People laugh and we feel as though we also should be laughing as to sit with straight faces is not a good look….

Luckely we were next to our other brother in law, the other twin to who was getting married and he’s always the life of a party.

Time to go through at last, we were told 2.30 for the start of the wedding, but turned out to be 3pm.

As we walked through the narrow corridors and down some steps, I left the sounds of the repetitive bar music and entered a quartet playing classical music.

We were all told where to sit. My Son walked in with me. The three of us were on the second row. Front row was the bride’s Father, my Father in law and the grooms oldest Son

Behind us was the other twin brother his lovely partner who I love and get on so well with. So from what I can gather, we were in rows of three! There were thirty at the wedding.

Well, the music played, and played, and played.

My boy told me that the groom looked terrified. Bless him, I was four minutes late for our wedding, and my Husband was having palpitations.

But fifteen minutes had gone by and no bride. Oh God I was starting to feel a little scared for the groom.

Then there was silence from the quartet.

Few, at last.

No!

The music started again.

Oh God, this was not good.

Then in walked the lady who would marry the couple. She asked who had lost a bracelet.

Haha. I wanted to say, who has lost the bride?

She walked out and back in again, then out again. Where on earth was our bride?

Again the music stopped. OMG? At last she was here. The little bridesmaid was the daughter of the groom. Of course, I couldn’t’ see what she was wearing and my audio descriptive Son didn’t want to talk during the wedding. I can see why?

Her Son gave her away and did a reading.

It all went very well, no mistakes at all. I could hear the nerves in the bride’s voice though bless her.

My Son did whisper she looked beautiful and I found out afterwards that she was wearing a long white dress with silver in it. Her hair was half tied up and she had decorations in her hair too with a white cape across her shoulders.

We walked out, went into the reception where there was a tray of champagne

I was so hot. Really boiling. It was so warm outside, sunny and ridiculous tempratures for March.

My suit was really too warm.

So I drank the cool liquid. Then into the garden for photographs.

Oh the garden was lovely, really pretty with a river running across it with ducks in. Then came the crunch. All the men had to go to one end of the garden, me? The other with the ladies. My boy went with my Husband, and thank God, the bride took my hand and I went for next lot of photos. Then we had to go for pictures in groups. My Brother in laws partner laughed and said we were like waiting for results for the x factor.

Waiting for our names to be called out.

After about an hour, we went back into the hotel. We had to arrange a later taxi for our departure as five and we hadn’t had the meal yet. Our taxi was due for half six.

Thank God my friend and her Husband was seeing to the dogs, but still they were going to be left so long in their small enclosure.

Back to the bar. I didn’t drink. Then for the meal. I had the toste for the bride and groom, of Bucks Fizz, a sip of white wine and that was it.

The meal was nice and the decorations on the table were lovely. Very tall feathers.

The service was amazing too!

We all had hearts on our table, the were tins of sweets.

Thank God, on our table was our brother in law and his partner. Teen was on another table.

Oh the heat in the place was unbelievable. I was dying.

After the meal teen and I stepped outside

Reflecting on the day. He enjoyed himself so I’m glad about that. It was lovely to see the family too.

I am glad the lovely couple are married now. And I wish them a happy life. My Husband was in the bar, buying very expensive whisky. Oh God, I was dreading that, as whisky and he don’t get on at all.

He was with his Father though and they had a good catch up.

Though of course his Dad and eldest step brother, did have a conversation about how their sight isn’t as good as it used to be, feeling rather sorry for them. My Husband endured as much as he could before having to comment saying that he had no sympathy for them. They laughed thinking it was funny.

People can be rather insensitive. My friend tells me of late how she can’t drive because of an operation. Oh she went on about it for ages. How could she for two weeks, not get out of the house? Well, join the club honey, as we live like that 24/7

So, said bye-bye to family and left the party, to get into a taxi whereby he, the driver, didn’t know where the train station was? Haha. Oh god, only us this could happen to?

I mean, not to know where the train station was.

What?

Get me out of here?

That’s what I thought.

At last we arrived at the station, as a helpful member of the public directed the driver. We had never been there before so we didn’t have a clue.

But a local taxi driver?

I hate waiting at stations at night time, as especially the ones that are not manned. This particular station are famous for suicides, as the automatic announcement tells of the fast trains that are about to come through the station, without stopping and they come at speed, so to be careful. Well people are not careful there.

My what speed they go too? Enough to move me slightly, thankfully not in the tracks.

On the train home though and back to our dogs, we made a fuss of them and played with them for half an hour exhausting them before bed. I was shattered, just the concentration of the full day. I hope they all enjoyed themselves as the party went on after we left.

Their married now, so another member of the family and welcome she is. X

I DO BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I DO BY FIONA CUMMINGS

In front of friends and family

You make me so very happy

Our hands are joined together

As we commit our love forever

Your heart I will always treasure

Your lips I will need to kiss

When we are apart

It’s you I truly miss

From the minute I saw you

I knew my feelings were so true

And today we stand together

And say I do

We are now Mr. and Mrs.

So let our lives begin

Full of wonderful wishes

As you take my wedding ring

 

 

I DO

GOOD RIDDANCE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

GOOD RIDDANCE

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

This is the beginning of the end

No longer  we need to pretend

My heart you took a lend

I’m not even your friend

I would like to say it’s been a pleasure

But being with you hasn’t been leisure

It’s too hard

Really tough

Love has been barred

Smooth roads have been rough

Now I’m free from you

I can do whatever I like

Peddle the country lanes on my breakaway bike

No ties

You won’t hear my cries

As I’m free from what was you and me

No longer it has to be us you see

Goodbye

Good riddance

Don’t cry

Tears are forbidden

In my new life

You’re not my Husband I’m not you’re wife

 

 

THE TREE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

The Tree

By Fiona Cummings

 

 The tree that grows

Hugged by the rose

Tells a story from yesteryear

Bear in winter

Bits of bark splinter

But bloom in spring

From routes deep within

Under the ground

Stretching out all around

Bowing down

To tell a tail

Survived snow, wind and hail

Wearing its medals of flowers so pale

Circled by nettles and a lonely daffodil

If only we could sit down and get some answers

Learning all about our ancestors

How many people have sheltered under hear

Looking out to the overflowing wear

The steep muddy banks

And fast new road behind

I would like to give thanks

To all nature we find 

You ask nothing from us

You don’t cause a fuss

Just hope for seasons to be kind

And not to be replaced by concrete

You make life complete

Beautiful tree

You provide beauty for me

You keep your secrets to yourself

Put away on your oak shelf

Well, I won’t ask you to whisper

The secrets you know

And why on your trunk you have a blister

Who did that to you

I will never know

Just please grow

Tall to the sky so blue

Forever I will respect you

 

HAPPY FAMILIES

I am going to the town now with my Husband and Son. Doing some last minute things and then tonight preparing for the wedding of my Brother in law tomorrow. I’m sure it will be a lovely day. Teen wore his suit yesterday to see if it still fit. It did, just though, and he looked stunning.

It will be a big family get together. Teen gets on well with them all. A better lot than my ex’s family. God most of them were just dreadful though there were a couple who I really did care for a lot. 

I had a sister in law who everyone hated. Even my x couldn’t stand her. She was such a busy boddy. Not her fault I guess as she had issues. Let’s just say they used to say when God gave the brains out, they forgot her. I was the only one who bothered with her, as I felt sorry for her, but that was the way I used to be. Thank God I’m not so bad now. I don’t take on rejects, and boy she was a reject. The brothers and sisters used words about her that were so bad, mind you, she was the biggest gossip in history and had a mouth on her like a toilet! My x was so different to his brothers and sister. A much better person and for his sake, I managed to get him away from the scummy life in which he lived. I hope for his sake, he doesn’t fall back into that trap.

So families are funny. As the old saying goes, you can choose your friends but not your family! Though I do like my now family, though don’t see them much, as they are like my Husband, hard workers, so never have much time to be sociable. But tomorrow, there will be some socialising going on for sure. My friend has kindly volunteered her Husband and daughter to care for the dogs. Haha. I hope they know? Bless them, they are so kind.

This morning when I opened the gate for our builder, the icy cold was nipping. But it’s OK now. Dull though, but tomorrow is forecast to be nice and sunny. I hope so.

Nothing worse when you are dressed up and it’s raining.

Just found out today that my Husband has been asked to work in America. But not sure what will happen with that yet. The three of us living there may be fun?

My friend Coffee cup has her hen party tomorrow, sadly I had to say no to the invite as otherwise busy tomorrow, but love is in the air as she is getting married in a couple of months, so that will be nice to see her marry, as her husband to be is such a nice person as is coffee cup.

This lump in my eye is really worrying me. I cannot get an appointment for our surgery so will have to go as an emergency on Monday and just sit for hours I hate that.

OK must dash now. Take care later gators.

Fun for Frieday with Fi

Good day Bloggets. It's sunny and very windy. Another challenging day with a young person. Come back later with a longer blog, but here are some good jokes I found on a joke . com. Smile? x

A woman who died found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter.
She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful.
Did I really make it to heaven?"
To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you must do one more thing before you can enter." The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do to pass through the gates. "Spell a word," St. Peter replied. "What word?" she asked.
"Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your choice." The woman promptly replied, "Then the word I will spell is love.L-o-v-e."
St. Peter congratulated her on her good fortune to have made it to Heaven, and asked her if she would mind taking his place at the gates for a few minutes while he went to the bathroom.
"I'd be honored," she said, "but what should I do if someone comes while you are gone?"
St. Peter reassured her, and instructed the woman to simply have any newcomers to the Pearly Gates to spell a word as she had done.
So the woman is left sitting in St. Peter's chair and watching the beautiful angels soaring around her when a man approaches the gates. She realizes it is her loser husband.
"What happened?" she cried, "Why are you here?"
Her husband stared at her for a moment, then said, "I was so drunk when I left your funeral, I was in an accident. And now I am here? Did I really make it to Heaven?"
To which the woman replied, "Not yet. You must spell a word first."
"What word?" he asked.
The woman responded, "Czechoslovakia."

 

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am planting them too deep."

 

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple
days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard
some strange noises coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave,
listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony,
being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony,
And it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the
Sixth...the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned
on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the
cemetery. "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."

 

 

THIS IS WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME

Hi Bloggets, I’m writing a novella right now, and my Husband is going to spend time on helping me to get it published. I’m rather excited, though he gave me the challenge of writing a love story. I’m not sure if I’m any good at writing loves stories, but we will see how it goes. I’m going to try to self-publish first, please hope for me it will be a success? This really is my dream. If I am able to publish books and people would like to buy them, I will feel fulfilled! No longer the failure and I will be able to say I have achieved something, though having said that, my blog page is also a dream, but a dream I never even imagined, I kind of came across blogging by accident and if this is the only accident I will have in life, how amazing is that? To talk to you every day, is an honour.

To read your beautiful kind words in the feedback I receive is to me incredulous.

This week I received an email from a lady who wrote words to me which made tears come to my lashes. To be put down so much in life and get four lines of such kindness, was really uplifting

More so, to receive emails saying they got encouragement from this blog page is a job I am delighted to be part of. And I say part, as if I didn’t have you, my dearest Bloggets, this page would not be here. I spend hours per day writing and wouldn’t if there were  a handful of readers, not that the handful are less important than mass numbers, but one feels a sense of pressure to write knowing there are on average a hundred people per day waiting to see what I write. Now, some days if not most, I’m sure you read my words and think. “What a load of rubbish? But if one of my blogs per week, or even month inspires you or makes you feel like you are not the only one, or even just to know I care about you, as your are part of my life in this way, then my life is on its way of absolute completion.

So a few less blogs today, I will try to make up for it tomorrow, but you now know why. Whether or not this novella will be a success, only time help and luck, will determine.

You will all be the first to know my every step.

More to chat about tomorrow and its fun Friday, so we will try and find something fun to write about hey? X

GRUMPY DOT COM

Good morning. Well, I hope your day has started off better than mine? Anyway, such is life.

I tried to call our local doctors today early before even nine and the line was constantly busy. At last at five to ten, I got through. To be told there were no appointments for today, but there was one at the other place. I said I’m not able to go to that one as I don’t know how to get there. She said she would give me directions. I said I would have to know the route as I am blind. I hate it when every conversation involves saying that I’m blind. I flipping hate it.

She then said well, it’s easy to drive there.

I repeated to the idiot that I was blind, and then she said, yes, but to get there by car, is only the next village along.

“I’m blind!”

There was silence then she repeated.

“I can give you directions.

“How can I drive there, if I’m blind?

“Oh well. She said

“You will have to phone up tomorrow morning and try to get an appointment on the day again here. So tomorrow the same thing. It’s blooming awful.

I mean, people who have a full time job, how are they to see a Doctor? If they have to give notice and they can’t because the appointments are only released on the day? And always by ten, the availabilities are full.

Once I did manage to get through before nine and they said that I could come and wait, could be up to two hours, but they couldn’t give me an appointment.

Unless it was an emergency. Well, I might find myself having an emergency tomorrow. Then you see, they ask what your emergency is? I think it has nothing to do with a jumped up little minded receptionist.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

A grumpy Fi for lots of reasons today, mainly my Husbands horrible past.

Some people are born with silver spoons in their disgusting mouths and no one will ever be able to remove them to show them a lesson.

And some people are total takers and never give in return.

And some people are willing to lie down and be a door mat to the evil!

My poor builder is still doing our work bless him, he hung around last night till really late, mind you he spent a lot of time talking to a neighbour. The guy who quoted us for our work, but didn’t get the job.

This guy we have is very slow, but he works hard and we know what we get will be quality.

I hope?

 Teen in bed. Still hasn’t bought his shoes for the wedding on Sunday. Still hasn’t tried on his suit for Sunday.

I’m not sure where his college is going, but I think down the pan.

Sadly, he is not coping with the coding on his course and as I have said before, I’m not at all surprised, as it’s really like a foreign language.

My friends from America who moved to Mexico some months ago, moved into their house yesterday.

Oh God, I feel for them, they will have so much to do? I just wish I could help them. I don’t understand, there are two Sons, but they are not helping. I kind of know the feeling, as mine does very little, having said that, he did when we moved here, it’s now he doesn’t really do anything.

I think I should remove his birthday balloons outside now, as they will look a little deflated? With all of the rain we have had and wind. Having said that, the weather through the day has been nice and perfect for our work.

I don’t know what is wrong with my dogs today, but so far it’s almost eleven and they have not got out of bed.

Oh God, my bird has, he is in full flow.

Singing his little head off with the tune of the Irish haha.

Because he’s Irish, you know?

OK, must go now. To do what? Not sure. Bored dot com. X

ALL THAT IS NEW

Good morning dear Bloggets. Oh my God. You should hear the man in our front? The house is vibrating, we have more sand on our drive than the beaches of Northumberland, but our step is sorted. I’m scared to go and look at it. The last time I stepped out of my house was some days ago, apart from letting the dogs out the back of course. I don’t want to know the front of the house. Not until I know my step has been well and truly tested and had chance to fix itself together. Haha

The noise is not bothering my canary. “He’s Irish you know? Haha

Oh he is singing trying to out shout the machine in the garden.

I learned this week, a couple of things. One, our grass is the best and most lush looking in our avenue of all sorts. Thanks to our neighbour J, who is a kind person who cuts it for us in summer? He also treats it with

Stuff

What stuff? Not sure, don’t care, it is green and its winter, so whatever it is, must be good.

Also, it’s got a cancer.

So I knew you went up a hill on it, but never heard that terminology before.

Apparently, when the houses were first built, the builders just put all what was left over and covered in with grass.

So you could go skiing in our street.

Hub working very hard in his office upstairs.

My dogs have all been groomed. Waggatail ran off with the cloth I use to make her coat shine, so now it has a gross crispy edge to it, where the Wagga slobber has been. Haha.

Oh my God. I’m not kidding you, my next blog may say, our house has subsidence? Seriously, the house is shaking.

My feet are tingling with the floor vibrations.

Oh I had a great sleep last night. I was shattered. A  hard day for Hub and me, as I feel his mind and soul and it reflects back to me.

We are having homemade Chilli tonight with lots of lovely rice.

I love it.

And lots of melted cheese on the top.

Oh as you may tell, my diet? Well, I renamed it, didn’t I? My getting healthy?

It’s kind of blown out of the window.

Who left it open?

I look as inflated as my son’s birthday balloons.

And the wedding to go to as well.

Oh the happy couple are excited I can tell by their texts to me through their words. A wedding is wonderful when it’s what you want. If you are not totally happy about it, it’s not meant to be. Get out of it whilst you can.

My wedding day to my Husband was the best day of my life.

The most special day was having my Son. Though that was so much stress and worry.

Negative Nelly me, was sure he would be born unable to breathe. But thank God, he was perfect and for the two nights I spent in hospital, he never left my side. I had him in my bed when I rested, as didn’t sleep at all. Even when I went in the shower, I took him in his little cot to the bathroom.

Why? Because I was sure someone was going to take him away. There were some stories about babies being stolen from hospitals, just before I was to give birth.

He was so beautiful, who wouldn’t want him?

I can’t believe, it’s been seventeen years. Gosh, how much has happened since then?

 I lost my sight, my Mum and Dad and divorced my x, re married the love of my life and moved house twice.

I have gone from a very week person, to a very strong person, but so many days the old me comes back, and it’s those days I hate and they really affect me.

But the strong days like today?

Slowly the nasty’s from my past are dying thank God, and one of the latest ones hasn’t long to go. My head from my first school.

It’s really strange how many people like him. He wasn’t cruel in the respect like some of our house parents were, my Husbands school had a staff member who poured boiling water over the arms of a young boy and in both of our second schools, there was so much abuse including sexual, so he wasn’t as bad as them, but as I said before, he prevented me from getting home at nights, for the sake of £400 per year. He also stole allegedly enough money from the school to keep a large house in the country and pay for his car, as well as getting his pay of course.

He was removed from the school on very bad grounds. A shame as the school was lovely, house not as good but the teachers were really nice.

so My Father in-law also had to fight hard to get some outdoor equipment for us to play on tooas the head was very much against it, and we know why now. There were also roomers a huge paint job got done in the school so money was required?

Well, we never smelt the paint, let’s put it that way.

So he has cancer now.

My past is dying and I’m glad.

A future now. Only one person from my past I really hated at school as she was cruel, but now we are really close friends and it’s to her kindness as an adult and determination to make up for the past. She is a lovely friend and I would do anything for her now and I’m really glad I was not stubborn and denied her extended handshake some years ago. Funny thing is, I never forgive anyone. Once someone does me wrong, that’s it.

But my friend and I now are close and I have maximum respect for her.

So I am moving on in my own way, as is my Hub.

What is our future? No one knows, but I know it has more to come. I feel so positive and excited.

 Grateful for an open door. As my friend said yesterday, one door closes, but God will open the window? I jokingly asked where the windows were. Haha. Really though, I hope my angels guide me to the right path. I hope we get lifted over the bumps of life as we have had our share of those bumps and your share and the next persons share too.

So a new start the spring is here, with all that is new!

PANCAKES FLIP IT TOSS IT EAT IT

Well, I am absolutely frozen; I have been good with the heating as we got the shock of our lives this week. Well, OK not quite, but it was a shock how much gas we are using? We are paying over a hundred pounds per month and we never have the heating on all day. In fact, in hours on average, I would say, about eight hours per day we put it on.

We use so much more electric and the electric bill is a quarter of that.

But if I continue to be as cold as I am, my Husband will think I have been rolling in Braille sheets as the dots with Goosebumps will become more prominent.

Teen due home soon and followed by Hub.

Then it’s pancake Tuesday here. Oh I love them and my boy makes the best pancakes.

I do the mixture but let him flip them, or I may end up wearing a dress of pancake.

My workman is doing well today. My step is finished at last, but he still has some work to do in filling in the drive and path.

I hope he stays a bit later as really need to get this finished.

Oh I have tried to set an email with Google today for my Husband and it’s impossible for V I P’s.

I hope my Son will help with that. The good thing is, you know those awful numbers you have to put in to prove you are not a robot? Well the old ones used to talk alien, but now they talk normal, just don’t understand why I’m not getting in the boxes that say month of d o b and the country we live in.

My canary, Irish. Is singing so loud. And he doesn’t take a breath?

He is so cute.

Not long to go until the wedding. My brother in law. My lovely friend has said her Husband and daughter will let two of the beasty girls out. Two out of three.

Thank God for them. Really, we wouldn’t be able to go anywhere.

Really hard having three dogs, I never imagined how hard it would be.

I wouldn’t recommend it, but I would not, and never change it either as I love all three of them.

OK, must dash now and get the pancake mix ready. Until later with love. X

 

OUR NEWS THE CHANGE FOR us

OK, good afternoon Bloggets. So it’s official. My Husband and I have lived a tough life for the past five years. We have had a beautiful house and moved to a more suitable place to live for his job and for our personal lives. But we have not really what I would call lived. Yes, we have been to amazing holiday destinations, stayed in luxury; money has never been an issue. I can wear the best make up and perfumes and go to the best hair dressers. We can take a meal anywhere without worrying and wear nice clothes. But the times we do this, always at the back of our minds is what is to follow? The odd weekend we get together, is spent planning for the next few days, or a night, or a week whereby he once again, is leaving me to go a far place.

Last year, one of the very many countries, was South Africa. I was worried sick as he had a lot of travel whilst he was there and there were so many other places where he was out of reach for some time, even if for a dozen hours.

It isn’t a nine to five job either. He worked sometimes from half seven in the morning till eleven at night and this wasn’t including overnight travel which he oftern did.

 I began to hate the life we were living, though I love his importance, his brain but most of all his achievements for us blind people.

A long month living out of a suitcase has made us realise, the only way forward is for him to leave his job, hence pushing I hope him into a new job, perhaps more local? I know this is tough, as it’s very hard for blind people to find work, as especially when you have the experience and intelligence that my Husband has, there are only certain jobs he can do because of his lack of eyesight, and those jobs don’t always wish to employ blind people sadly, even though I tell my Husband he has the brain to own most organisations. His skills are far beyond anything he has done so far.

But we have decided that enough is enough. So the change I knew was coming? It’s arrived.

Only recently I have known that he is leaving his job.

I feel for his lovely Pa, but I’m sure she will be OK in finding a  new job, I also worry who will do the job my Husband has done for 21 years, but I’m sure such a great organisation like the RNIB, will not let us down and continue with the great work my love has started.

So a big change for us. No money for a start. But we have each other.

Do you know what it’s like to go to bed at night, not knowing if your love is safe? Has landed in whatever country? To be cold in bed, and not have anyone to cuddle  up to? To turn after a nightmare hold out your arms and for there not to be anyone there?

To wake on your own. To have breakfast to a silent house.  To not have anyone next to you to share a joke with? To not have your Husband after work to tell of the day’s news? To feel sad about something and not have a shoulder to cry onto? Not to be able to share a laugh with a story what has been told to you?

To marry the love of your life, but to have him part time is rather difficult.

I used to cherish the short times we spent together, but I began to resent them.

Why should I be grateful to see my own Husband?

Why should I be so elated to have him hold me when he will be ripped away from me like a heart being pulled out of a loving person?

To wave goodbye and say that dam word every week.

Well, no more.

My Husband will be with me every single night God willing forever now.

Oh I can’t tell you how good that feels, though it is totally shadowed by the fact that we have a huge mortgage and a conscience.

My Mam visited me from the land she now lives, on the 8^th of January. I wrote about the feelings I had. I never knew what was going to happen then, and my Husband hadn’t even a clue at that time, about leaving work. I just knew something was going to happen.

I want to live now please? OK, we won’t go to wonderful holidays or buy the best things, but we will afford something that is priceless.

Each other

So a month left at work then gone. But only one day away I think and home every night.

Every weekend too.

I am in total shock. I really am.

I am almost numb as I still can’t believe it.

Our world is in a spin. What will happen to the house we fought long and hard to have?

Being together every day, will we still get on and how? What will we have to talk about? His life will be as boring as mine!

Will he get regarded as just “Another blind person?”

Thought of as a second class citizen?

I pray not, as he really is so clever.

Well, it may force the hand to do more about my publishing and for him to perhaps set up his own business?

I truly believe in a life map and our map is out there, we just don’t know what road to go down next.

Will we have a successful summer?

I know we will have each other, the man I married will at last be free enough to love me and for me to love back.

 

OUR BIG NEWS AND BIRTHDAY STORY

Good morning Bloggets. Well today is the day when my Husband releases some rather life changing news.

He has got over the worst part in telling who needs to know first. It’s a big change for us all and I must say the stress in this house has been really difficult. But more on that later.

Oh my boy’s birthday went so well. It was great to see him laughing and joking. My friend brought him a lovely shirt and he was given from my other friend and his father, money which will come in very handy for his driving lessons too. First he came in from college. He of course was starving. So I was going to make him a tea party, but put a baked potato in for him with cheese. He ate that quickly, and then went to get his provisional licence to show the instructor.

Then wrote a cheque for him in of course our name. Haha.

Then opened his gifts from us. We bought him a really fancy conditioner which is peppermint. And some other smellies, we paid for a couple of driving lessons for him too and of course not just for his birthday, but every day he has the best gift the love of his Mum. . Cheesy enough?

Well, I kind of hoped that I had put his presents in a birthday gift bag, rather than Christmas, as he said nothing, we think we were OK.

I remembered to text the driving instructor to tell him not to come on our drive as it was full of holes and broken bricks.

That would have been a good start as its dark. Well my Hub reminded me, he didn’t have retinitis Pigmentosa. Haha

Well, we hope his eyes are OK?

So I was as anxious as teen was excited.

Out he went as the car pulled up

He was meant to be two hours, but after two and a half hours, my heart was beginning to ache.

I don’t know this instructor from Adam.

He was recommended by a friend of a friend.

He’s not advertised as he goes off word of mouth.

He’s ex-police though.

Well, he told me on the phone he was?

I said to Hub, he could be anyone?

He has my baby in his car?

In the dark?

Hub told me to calm down and reminded me he wasn’t a baby he was a now seventeen year old who towered over Hub and my height.

Anyway he came in and he absolutely loved his time out with the guy.

He’s booked more lessons.

We had loads for our tea party and Hub and I sang happy birthday, Hub even did a harmony. Haha

It was great, a real lovely family time and of course, we had my Mams tiny china tea cups out. Always on birthdays, we bring them out, as that means in my heart; my Mam and Nana are with us.

So that’s that for another year.

9.11 MEMORIAL MY HUSBAND

The Manhattan skyline is surely one of the most impressive in the
world.  Although I have never seen it, I have visited it many times,
although the most recent was as long ago as 6 weeks before an event
which changed the world for ever.  During that trip, I visited a
restaurant in the World Trade Centre for a meeting.  As terror struck
on that fatal day, I could remember the acoustics of the lobby area,
the space between the towers, and the stomach lurching lifts to the
heights of one of the most magnificent modern day engineering
achievements.

The American Foundation of the Blind's annual leadership conference
took me back to New York last weekend and I decided to visit the 9.11
memorial.  I actually don't usually "do" memorials, as I find them
rather sinister and sterile reminders of an event, so my expectations
were set at a low point.

Walking from Wall Street toward the site of the twin towers, you can
feel the scale of the city that never sleeps.  You don't need to stand
and look up to buildings that actually do scrape the sky to realise
that not only is this an amazing place, it's one of the most crowded
areas of real estate on the planet.  Military planes can fly extremely
accurately in order to destroy targets with pin point precision, but
it flexes the mind to imagine piloting passenger planes to their point
of destruction and to achieve this more than once must have taken
exceptional training.

It's a city in constant change, and the rumble of heavy construction
machinery mixed with the complaining of drills as they shape metal in
to ever more daring designs forms an audio backdrop to the stream of
traffic and chatter of folks as they shop and site see.  It's hard to
imagine those 90 minutes that changed everything,.

Security is very tight and entering the memorial is as challenging as
moving through an airport.  From scans to questions, everything is in
place to make sure ... to make sure of what.....

You don't hear any  sugar-sweet music.  You don't feel the inevitable
commercialisation which strikes dead any emotion in many memorials as
it's not there.  You don't feel pressured to get in, look and get out.

The basis of the memorial is 2 pools in the footprint of the
respective towers with 30 foot cascades disappearing in to bottomless
water; the chaos of falling water disappearing in to calm.  Around
each pool you will find carved the thousands of names of those who
died in terror but who are now immortalised in calm reflection.
Indelibly carved, they will not be rubbed out as their lives were on
that day and they will be remembered not least by white roses placed
on inscriptions to remember birthdays and anniversaries, or just to
remember.

The sound of the water will live with me for a long time.  Waterfalls
can thunder, echoing the angry effervescence of foam. Like Victoria
Falls, they can seemingly disappear in to mist as they forge with the
air.  These cascades almost seemed to sigh like leaves on trees as the
wind gently passes by.  They do not deafen conversation or disturb
thought, you can almost hear voices now at peace in their depths.

This could be a place full of the horror that terror brings.  It could
be a sensational depiction of the extremes of fear in order to
galvanise the fight against terror.  It is simply a reflective and
poignant  place for those who now rest in peace and those who need
peace to enable them to rest.

Quick Reply

SEVENTEEN TODAY

Good morning Bloggets. Remember the step our workman lovingly designed and took a full day to do?

Well, he’s back, Removing, smashing it all up.

Collectively we decided that it just wasn’t safe enough, he also made it too far from the house and it would stick out like a sore finger, so back to the drawing board. I do feel bad about it.

The sun is shining brightly considering it rained all night and most of yesterday.

Hub has a day in lieu after his trip to America. Oh he has a great blog on that, he’s writing right now, so will be ready later for you. I must say it sounded much more interesting than I first thought.

Today is my Sons birthday. He’s coming home from college. It will be dark then, and then he will take his first driving lesson.

In the dark.

I just hope it’s not raining too?

I also hope he really enjoys it. He will be a natural at it I’m sure, as his Father was a confident driver as was I? Haha.

Really, I did drive, very naughty and not to be recommended.

It was in an industrial park and the other times were in car parks. And I wasn’t totally blind at that point. I just wanted to feel what it would be like to drive. My Husband also drove a racing car. That was a proper planned day for V I P’s though.

I bought my Son a birthday card with an L on for driving learners licence. I thought that was rather appropriate.

It put a smile on his face this morning.

Of course, we have the hanging balloons outside tied to a ribbon.

I bought them with my friend the other day. I thought it would be safer to do that with her rather than me using the ones I still have from a couple of years ago? As last year, my teen did laugh when he saw them, as they were all but one, pink.

The other one was yellow.

These are all red. I didn’t dare get a multi pack, as I did a couple of years ago, then must have by coincidence, used all the dark colours and only left girly pink ones. Oh. And a yellow one.

It does look funny though hanging balloons with the rubble from the builder out there? And half of our lawn up.

So at eight tonight, we will have of course his tea party. I know he is seventeen, but it’s cute I think and who says getting older by years means you have to act old and boring?

Haha.

He had a nice time with his Father and he got a kind gift from him, and my dear friend from where I used to live, gave him some money to go towards more driving lessons, if that’s what he chooses. My friend has a card for him and she made him a chocolate cake. Bless her.

Oh and then there is my aunt? He will open what she sent him through the post tonight. We think by giving it a little squeeze, its shampoo. He is crazy about his hair products, well, all products.

I can’t believe its seventeen years today since I gave birth to him? My little perfect angel. No one warned me of how much hard work children are? Emotionally more than anything.

I adore him and pray this year will be a good one for him and he will see changes in his life that will benefit him. Make him stronger but face facts too and see his map for life, get a job that he loves and feels like he is going places, even just as far as a better future than the one he is waking up to now?

He’s so handsome and clever, I just hope he doesn’t do a me, and blow his life.

As for my life?

Well, we have had a real shock of late and know our life this year has to change. Just how it has changed, I will tell you tomorrow.

For now until Hubs blog, later gators with love. X

PUERTO RICO

Hello to Puerto Rico. I hope you enjoyed visiting my blog page. You are the first to view the blogs and may I say how glad I am to see you here. This week will be full of latest goings on in the Fifi Blogget family and so much more. This year, I kept saying how our lives would change somehow this year, and oh boy they have. So please visit again? Xxx

 

 

VICTORIAN TEENAGER

 

 Good morning Bloggets. My Husband will walk through the door in an hour. Thank Goodness. Teen got in last night at eleven been out with his GF.

He is leaving now to go to Leeds with her again and will be in at ten tonight.

 Oh God, what will my Hub think of the step? My boy says he loves it it is a shame to remove it. You just don’t know as a blind person what the heck looks good unless like me you used to be able to see, then, you only picture or remember what you knew way back when.

So this kind of door step, I have never had.

As for how dangerous it is, could I get used to it? Am I being a wimp? I mean, you should have seen what we used to put up with at boarding school?

Considering it was a school for the blind, oh God? There were stairs all over the place as it was a Victorian building and steps down onto the lawn where we played and the equipment that my  Husbands dad made for us to play on, was also shall we say

Rustic? Beautifully made, but no guide lines on health and safety in those days.

We also had the steepest valley we used to run down and in winter, sledged down the valley and bounced off the barbed wire at the bottom, keeping out what we used to call parkies, the children who were a little rough who used to frequent the park at the bottom of our grounds.

The same parkies who burnt our school bus down sadly.

Just said bye bye to teen who has just walked right through the house with his boots on the boots he also walked right down the dirty drive covered in cement and mud. Really, makes me sick.

How many times I have to ask him to remove his shoes at the door? I mean, it’s easy, isn’t it?

I brought downstairs from his room the other day six cups and glasses and a plate. I found two cups last night in his bathroom as I was going to bed so I put them on his sink so he would see them and remember. I asked him three times today to bring them down. He said he would.

As he left the door, in a hurry of course, I asked where the cups are. He said he couldn’t find them.

Really, my blood pressure is high, as I know too he hasn’t given his bird water. Again.

This is why I love to go away with Hub to a hotel. As there is nothing to stress about, apart from hoping teen and dogs are safe.

Perhaps all this doesn’t sound much to you, but when you can’t see, you need to know your house looks as good as possible and when you have friends staying over or coming, you don’t want’ mouldy cups laying around the bathroom? Or plates on the floor, as we don’t find them unless we get on our hands and knees and feel for them. This is how my Husband vacumes. I don’t, but he is better than me as of course I miss bits.

As for the boots? Well, we have mud on our carpets, how do we know?

I asked him to have a look around the garden to see if the dogs have missed the dog run? No time, so on with the rubber gloves and bent over trying to feel the whole area now for the mess as builder coming tomorrow.

Stressed and fed up dot com.

   

VICTORIAN HOUSE AND THE TEENAGER

 

 Good morning Bloggets. My Husband will walk through the door in an hour. Thank Goodness. Teen got in last night at eleven been out with his GF.

He is leaving now to go to Leeds with her again and will be in at ten tonight.

 Oh God, what will my Hub think of the step? My boy says he loves it it is a shame to remove it. You just don’t know as a blind person what the heck looks good unless like me you used to be able to see, then, you only picture or remember what you knew way back when.

So this kind of door step, I have never had.

As for how dangerous it is, could I get used to it? Am I being a wimp? I mean, you should have seen what we used to put up with at boarding school?

Considering it was a school for the blind, oh God? There were stairs all over the place as it was a Victorian building and steps down onto the lawn where we played and the equipment that my  Husbands dad made for us to play on, was also shall we say

Rustic? Beautifully made, but no guide lines on health and safety in those days.

We also had the steepest valley we used to run down and in winter, sledged down the valley and bounced off the barbed wire at the bottom, keeping out what we used to call parkies, the children who were a little rough who used to frequent the park at the bottom of our grounds.

The same parkies who burnt our school bus down sadly.

Just said bye bye to teen who has just walked right through the house with his boots on the boots he also walked right down the dirty drive covered in cement and mud. Really, makes me sick.

How many times I have to ask him to remove his shoes at the door? I mean, it’s easy, isn’t it?

I brought downstairs from his room the other day six cups and glasses and a plate. I found two cups last night in his bathroom as I was going to bed so I put them on his sink so he would see them and remember. I asked him three times today to bring them down. He said he would.

As he left the door, in a hurry of course, I asked where the cups are. He said he couldn’t find them.

Really, my blood pressure is high, as I know too he hasn’t given his bird water. Again.

This is why I love to go away with Hub to a hotel. As there is nothing to stress about, apart from hoping teen and dogs are safe.

Perhaps all this doesn’t sound much to you, but when you can’t see, you need to know your house looks as good as possible and when you have friends staying over or coming, you don’t want’ mouldy cups laying around the bathroom? Or plates on the floor, as we don’t find them unless we get on our hands and knees and feel for them. This is how my Husband vacumes. I don’t, but he is better than me as of course I miss bits.

As for the boots? Well, we have mud on our carpets, how do we know?

I asked him to have a look around the garden to see if the dogs have missed the dog run? No time, so on with the rubber gloves and bent over trying to feel the whole area now for the mess as builder coming tomorrow.

Stressed and fed up dot com.

 

I do By Fiona Cummings

I DO

By Fiona Cummings

In front of friends and family

You make me so very happy

Our hands are joined together

As we commit our love forever

Your heart I will always treasure

Your lips I will need to kiss

When we are apart

It’s you I truly miss

From the minute I saw you

I knew my feelings were so true

And today we stand together

And say I do

We are now Mr. and Mrs.

So let our lives begin

Full of wonderful wishes

As you take my wedding ring

 

INSPIRATIONAL HEALING

I received a lovely email today from a wonderful lady who told me about a book she read about a woman who cured herself of blindness and a paralysed arm by positive thinking.

Evelyn Monahan technique of healing           

When you reach your higher mind or assist others to reach theirs, possibilities open beyond anything you’ve ever been able to accomplish before. This higher mind is infinite and contains no limits. You can reach it through awareness or prayer or sheer intention. You make a profound healing connection, and you open to the healing power.

* Find a quiet place to be, and close your eyes. Take in three deep breaths and be aware that you’re breathing in great energy.
Say to yourself:
 “With the wisdom of my higher self and the power of my healing mind, I am healing myself now. All the cells of my body and all the powers of my mind are healing me now.”
* Then you state what you’re healing, staying as positive in your language as possible.
* Next you imagine in as much detail as possible the healed state of whatever you’d like to heal.
* You may want to imagine healing light beaming on you and streaming from you.
* Then you imagine yourself visiting a healing practitioner or a doctor who says to you:  “I don’t know what you’ve been doing. It must be some kind of miracle. You’re completely healed!”
* After this, you may want to give thanks in advance for the wondrous healing you’ve experienced.

Everything is possible, and you can remain in a consciousness of healing. Do this two or three times a day. Five minutes each time may be all you need
Well, it can’t do any harm and I do believe there is something about this way of thinking. X

--

BACK FROM THE FATHERS

Teen in town He had a nice time at his Fathers and he even received a nice birthday gift. Great, I can relax now; I think perhaps it’s getting through to my x that having deep pockets and short arms is not good. Unless of course you don’t have any money. He actually gave him money and more than he needed to. He also fed him and more important, teen liked his visit and I’m sure my x enjoyed his company. It will be sad when he leaves for the x I’m sure, and I do feel for him, as I just couldn’t live without my boy, but let’s hope the x finds a woman soon to keep him busy.

  Hub been to the twin towers in the U.S.

I almost knocked myself out bending down to get the dog dish. Slam right onto the kitchen work top. Ouch it hurt.

Oh the house is so easy to keep clean when the two boys are not here.

I haven’t taken my Black beauty to the vet for her pain killer injection for ages, as I really don’t think it works anymore.

Oh bless her; she still has all of her faculties. She is a real beauty still too.

I cannot believe how quiet it is around here? It’s quite easy to believe the avenue are all on holiday.

I am debating whether or not to walk to our Chinese restaurant later with Waggatail.

But will need to put my winter coat on for sure.

As the night makes its way to the sky, it brings with it ice.

OMG? My back yard is full of builder’s equipment. I just went out before to see. It’s like a blooming building site.

There is loads of machinery and bags bricks and boxes as well as sheets and so much more.

OK, I have a lot of mail to catch up with and have to do some work for my Husband, also I have been asked to write a poem for someone and I may write one for my Brother in laws wedding, not to be read at the wedding, as I would die with embarrassment but to put in his card.

He has been texting me all afternoon, he’s really excited bless him.

Later gators. X

STEPPING OUT

 Sorry if this doesn't read very well, but been awake for two days now and really sleepy.

 My friend came over last night and said the new step looked really odd. I wasn’t sure what she meant until I went and had a look. Oh my God. Well, her daughter today summed it up and said it looks like the step into a pub?

I joked and said I wondered what all of the men were doing outside my house last night? But in reality, I feel sad, disappointed and absolutely fed up.

Our workman took five hours to make this master peace and it really looks stupid as well as it’s so dangerous.

I told my Husband last night on the phone and spoke to him at one this morning he was furious and wasn’t very nice to me.

Needless to say, we ended up not friends, as it’s not my fault. OK, I was here overlooking the job, but A, the man told me the stone had a red fleck in it and it doesn’t. B, he told me the size it would be in mm? Well, I don’t understand anything other than feet and inches... C originally I wanted the step to be brick the same as the drive. He said he had some beautiful stone and it was left over from another job, so he could do that and not charge any extra.

I couldn’t stand on the step until it was totally solid and solid it is, just looks bloody awful.

My one high step now is two long steps. I like to know the wall is there as I’m stepping out anywhere. I am almost in my neighbour’s front garden as I step off my step and she lives across the road?

OK, slight exaduration, but only slight!

So all night, I got myself into a bigger state as I knew it was me who would have to deal with the situation and I hate confrontation unless it is about animals or something then I will fight for them.

The time was passing by. I created a text and saved it to drafts as couldn’t send it waking the poor guy up through the night?

Oh I felt so let down. I just don’t know why people cheat us.

If we could see, this wouldn’t have happened.

Thank God for my friend who told me. Well, it was four  in the morning and I tried to phone my Husband as only eleven where he is in America.

No answer. I rang and rang.

Then he answered and again it wasn’t a good call.

Five a.m.

Birds were starting to sing. I was ill as knew I should have been able to sleep so I turned on my kindle to listen to a new book.

Only to find it was a book I had listened to a few years ago when it was the old fashioned way of tapes/cassettes.

Dam double dam.

Anyway, my mind was not on books. I tossed and turned I was also wound up about my boy. He was as you know at his Fathers. Of course my x took my teen to a bar. So not only would my x be drinking and driving, but teen would be drinking too.

Oh I was furious.

I just hate this culture of alcohol only.

My Husband told me something about someone we know too and that didn’t help me to relax, so it was awful. Then I heard the ice getting scraped off the cars in our avenue of all sorts.

Cars on the road were becoming louder. It was morning; my eyes had that dreadful razorblade feeling again. I got up at six and pottered around the house. I was going out with my friend and I would look a mess

So spent the morning trying to sort out the step. My Husband said wait until Monday, another two nights without sleep? I sent him the text.

He phoned me back streight away.

At first he was not good, but then he was OK.

So, after trying to wonder if I could manage with it, trying to persuade myself it would be OK, I thought, I’m going to have to live with the step and why should I put up with such an ugly thing?

To cut a long story short. He is going to fix it how I wanted it in the start.

But charge us more.

Anyway, I ended up going out with my friend and her Mum for a cream tea, this was rather funny as A, it was for the Mums birthday and they didn’t have any clotted cream. B the Mum wanted mint tea, but my friend and I forgot to ask for that so got her normal, which was such a shame bless her, as it was after all her birthday, but the lady on the till was a sandwich short of a picnic

Had a nice chat and got my brother in law a gift card for his wedding next week for M & S.

My brother is a good cook so they can buy some nice food I guess if they don’t need anything, as they have lived together for years.

My boy phoned me and he is in our town. He may be home tonight about ten.

He is out with the g

My Husband is touring parts of New York today then to the airport home tomorrow afternoon.

Then what next?