THURSDAYS DIARY

A rather stressful day but its half way over now. Still feel out of this world not in a good way. Hub due home soon though and I have just been given some work to do that will take my mind off everything. I went to buy a door as you do and a blind for the window in our office. We still have not heard from the electrician, so I still have wires hanging from the ceiling and a broken plug. My shower is still leaking. Our ceiling in the lounge is a mess. No bulbs in the porch still either. But we will get there. One day. Just then I am sure something will go wrong with the heating or something. It’s been a circle this house of get one thing done another starts to go wrong. Still it’s a beautiful house and what needs doing isn’t too major just we can’t get anyone to do it and we can’t do electrics or plaster…. I’m excited as we have found this joiner. I really hope he will do a good job he seems really nice.

 

Had a meeting today and that went well and tomorrow going on a course

Then, release Saturday, our best friends are coming and I can’t wait to see them. Love them to bits and we just fit together like hand in glove. Hub gets on so well with my friends Husband and he and I are like brother and sister as for my friend, well, we have history and it’s special. She was one of the few people in my life who actually met with my Mum and Dad on numerous occasions. So there is that part of my heart which is filled same for her, I knew her family well and spiritually that brings us close.

 

Thank you for your emails I have replied to you all now so up to date. I received more this week asking for work to be done and that has all been accomplished. Thankfully it was received well too.

 

A special person in my world has been offered a job promotion and this is great, but will give me some sleepless nights….

 

Me, sleepless nights? Na’aa’aa’aah  never…. Having said that, I have slept for two nights in a row for four hours. This is unheard of.

 

I need to find energy for during the daytime.  Teen says eating bread in the mornings is the worst thing. I thought it was good as it’s full of seeds and so on. Seed is to give you energy, right?  Well these ones don’t.

 

I need to find my mojo. Somehow I have lost it so if you find it, please can you return it to me? Smile.

 

Making a big dinner for the lads tonight. On my camping stove…. I shall begin.

 

Well, really it’s a ceramic hob! It’s hit or miss if I manage to turn it on. It’s flat like a sheet of glass. There are no buttons just touch dial. I hate it. So if I get one ring on its lucky so I par cook everything till Hub or Teen get in then I can turn on other rings at least. But Hub doesn’t have a clue what number the hob is on. It’s a nightmare for blind people. As I have said before, kitchen equipment is getting more difficult to buy for us.

 

For the designers who read my blogs, please when you are inventing touch dial, think of us?

 

Thank you to those lovely Bloggets who have been asking about our canary. He’s Irish you know? Well Diddleydiddleydiddlee’e’e’doo. He is very quiet but alive and eating and in my next blog, I have a funny story about a bird for you it is great…..

 

Laters

 

ANGEL OF MINE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

ANGEL OF MINE

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

  Angel of mine

You are there at all times

What is your name?

And your gain?

How can anything or anyone be so selfless?

Find in your persona such bliss?

Three times now I have felt your gentle kiss

What do I have to do to ask for help?

Are there words I should know?

Where do you come from and where do you go?

Who sent you to me

And why

To get into my mind do you have a key

How do you hear me cry

What magic spell do you create?

If I need you some days why do I have to wait?

Do you stand on guard at the pearly gate?

Or are you helping others like me

Some days I feel you are there to see

To guide me

You hear my silent words

Is it true, do you fly like a bird?

I wish I could befriend you

Why is there such mystery which surrounds you?

How do some not believe and others know you’re true

Angel of mine

So loving and kind

I want to thank you

For all that you do

 

Fiona Cummings©

GOODNIGHT THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW

Goodnight Bloggets sweet dreams. I hope tomorrow is a better day and the day after that even more wonderful than tomorrow.

 

If today has been a challenge that you have not been able to accomplish, then tomorrow there will be time for you to try again. If it’s something you really want then I hope you will achieve but if it’s really impossible to do that, try and think about it from a different perspective. Another angle.

 

If tonight you have heartache, I hope a good night’s sleep will heel your suffering.

 

If today has been a fantastic one for you, I hope you will store that feeling to remember on days when things have not been as planned. Always remember the good times. No matter how the bad times seem to push themselves forward at the front of the queue of life.

 

With love.  

YOU ARE NOT ALONE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Close the curtains

Lock the doors

Turn off the lights

Lay flat on the floor

Food and warmth who could ask for more

As when I’m forced to go out

My insides shout

I shiver

The world seams a whole load bigger

I look at the person who put me there

Why do they hurt me without a care?

Run back in

Feel sick deep within

I have let them down again

So I won’t go out to visit family

They come to me to try to make me happy

Painted on smile

Just get over this trial

They will be gone soon

Left in this room

Empty promises

A bunch of roses

Memories so ghostly

Deep diagnoses

Words come back to me

Things that were said

No wonder I have feelings

I want to be dead

Out of the world

Where troubles are living

They just take

Whilst I’m always giving

They reach out their hand

But they will never understand

I don’t belong in this icy land

Slipping each time I try to escape

Tripping on air as my mask is fixed with tape

Mended so many times

 Covering my face of lines

Fingers bleeding but there is no blood

My mind has fallen trees

Though my fire has no wood

Down on my knees

Fell with a thud

Just leave me hear please

And allow me to fade

Saving me is like cuts with a blade

 

Fiona Cummings ©

Written for someone I pray for each night. Her feelings are deep. I just hope no one gives up on her though she thinks it would be best if they did. R, you know who you are. You asked me to write this before Christmas I just couldn’t get into your psyche then. Sometimes seeing your feelings on paper helps. I’m told this every week at least once by my Bloggets. You are not alone.

 

 

RP CAGED

Hey Bloggets. I’m pleased to say that our canary, Irish you know? Is at least alive. He is very quiet but at least he is flying around. The cage he is in is huge. Three times bigger than the smallest ones you can get. I don’t like caged animals, birds have wings to fly, but my Son really wanted a bird we said no, then Mr. Clock bought him one for his birthday many years ago. The bird he bought, Jeffers. Yep, odd name I know for a canary, as is Dean the current one we have now. Jeffers was not an Irish canary, I can’t remember what he was but as Olga said in her Russian accent, when she visited.

“Goo’oo’oo’oodness, Eet eez a cheeken.”

 And he was the size of a chicken. Only thing is, he wasn’t a he, so never sang. Sadly he died. He/she was only a year and a half some people said when the females have eggs they can get stuck. It was said to me that I should try to unstick.

 Em.

 No. Not happening.

 

So teen was still a young teen we bought him another canary. This time an Irish one as we were told if they were boys they would sing so sweetly. We got him when he was a baby so how to know he was a boy? The breeder said he was… But you don’t really know with birds until they are about one year old. We waited until he was a year and he did sing so sweetly. He is about five now. Gosh, where has the time gone?

 

Anyway Teen said he is looking great. The canary that is not teen, though I’m sure if you asked my Son is he looking great, he would answer yes….

 

Talking of Teen he has just come back from the gym.   Now washing his car then after a shower he will go to visit a friend they are having lunch.

 

The weather today is really sunny it’s a beautiful day. Fresh and spring like!

 

I have a duster with my name on it. Also got to clean the windows upstairs. Don’t panic, from the inside not the out. Our outside only gets done when our window cleaners either run out of beer money or come out of jail. I have not found out what yet. They come about every six months. In the summer I do the outside ones myself but my hands will freeze in winter and stick to the glass. Smile.

 

Oh heck. Teen cleaning car with his awful music blasting. Our avenue from the front is so quiet, the back is like a motorway but the front is peaceful. Until a Teen cleans his car.

 

Waggatail is playing with a huu’uuge toy Hub got from work from a colleague. It’s an octopus. It is enormous. Half the size of a Waggatail. She loves it. As does the Little Fella. But we can only let them have it for a while or they start to think it is roadkill. Talking of that, poor animals getting killed. My brother in law who I love to bits annoyed me yesterday. He does it deliberately. He is hunting innocent animals right now in Scotland. He boasted rather repulsively he has killed 125 rabbits and 32 geese. And what does he want from me for that? I sent him a text and wanted so badly to say so much more but Hub told me off and said just drop it. It sickens me. At least when he goes to Australia he will be leaving our beautiful creatures alone. Sorry for Au though.

 

He is such a good brother in law, or normally I would not be able to have anything to do with him I just feel sad that he can do this with pride. And he is so mischievous telling me of his murders knowing how I feel. Why would you do this? If my heaven is what I hope it will be, I feel sad my brother in law won’t be joining me when it’s his turn. Each time I feel so sad because he is abroad so far away, and I will miss him, I will just remember his texts of tails of torture.

 

I want to end this blog on a positive note. So here we go. For those with RP, the eye condition I have latest news is as follows. When it comes to research, moving a treatment from the lab to a clinical trial is challenging; requiring significant financial resources and drug development knowledge.  But advancing a theory to this critical stage also brings it much closer to the people with retinal diseases that desperately need it.

 

These trials only happen because of the time, money and expertise by funding.

 

Funding has been raised to launch a clinical trial of its ontogenetic gene therapy.  By harnessing surviving cells in the retainer, the treatment holds promise for restoring some vision for some people who are completely blind, regardless to the gene mutation causing their blindness.

 

There is a breed of dog that has the canine version of our eye disease and a stage two therapy has restored vision in the dogs that were blind with this x linked related RP. The buzz on the net is the light sensing retinal cells, from cells that do not normally react to light. This research is in its earliest stage and has been conducted in the lab so far. But it sounds promising. I think if all goes right, in five years’ time, we will be seeing at least light. I doubt in my lifetime in my forties, I will ever see as a sighted person, everything is so slow, it’s down to money first secondly an understanding Government and thirdly the knowledge of people power. I just wish that all scientists around the world would work together. But it’s a race. And perhaps that is what it will take to inspire scientists? In that case let them spend time with real people who suffer with RP? Those who can’t get out of bed in the mornings with deep depression. Those who live in fear of losing their eyesight. Those who are new parents who have just been told that their child has this what can be crippling disease.  Those who don’t have holidays, or have great family days out and for those who simply want to end their lives. Sadly the scientists see those who are out there, those who are what I call the super blind. Those who have moved on and learned to adjust and thank God for people like them. As they are the guys who are knocking on doors for those who just can’t. But happy words happy faces aren’t going to bite at the hearts of scientists. We are just a test tube. We need to be real. Then who knows things may progress with speed.

 

New research from the United Kingdom has demonstrated that stem cells found in the cornea could provide a source             of photoreceptor cells for transplant in those with degenerative retinal conditions such as RP     but again early stages and won’t start human trials until 2020. Lets hope something much bigger will come before then. But things are moving in the right direction, just very slowly.

“Never give up on something you can’t go one day without thinking about.” (Winston Churchill)

“Don’t be discouraged its oftern the last key in the bunch that opens the door.”

“If you take many small steps, you won’t fall.”

“Should we look backwards, to stay where we are, or look forward to have a future?”

 

Fiona Cummings

THE BIRD IN THE CAGE

 Good evening from the UK dearest Bloggets. Well when I left you on my last blog, my canary…. He’s Irish you know? Was having a hissy fit. I felt sick. For over an hour he went mad in his cage. The noise was awful. Sounded like someone had a plastic sheet and was scraping it up and down the bars on the cage. I went to see if he was OK he went quiet. I moved my hands over the cage, no, not to scare him but to get him to move as that normally works if he were stuck he would move quickly to escape my hand? He stayed still.

 

Then I felt something gross on the top of the cage. I didn’t know what it was I got a tube from the kitchen towelling and tried to push that down gently on the top of the cage as if it were the poor lads wing or leg, I mean, what was I thinking, his leg? On the top of the cage? So Dickie himself would be upside down, so how would he get in that position?  So a wing, right? Well, Hub came in. He moved the cage. Nothing then I heard Hub say the dreaded words.

“He’s gone love.”

I felt sick I went hot then cold. No, I know he is a canary, but I love my pets. Anyway, we put the light on, that normally wakes him up. We even put some music on as he loves his music. I vacuumed the floors, he reacts to the sound of the hoover but no, nothing. So Hub almost tipped the cage over to get him to move. And he did ever so slowly.

 

Hub looked in the food pots. It’s up to teen to feed him water and clean. I nag for days before he does it, but he does, but Hub said that both feeding bowls were empty. Well, I know he wouldn’t starve as I gave him some sweetcorn yesterday the day before he had one of those posh peapods. And some apple the day before that. I also know that teen cleaned out his cage about nine days ago and gave him new food and those seed things you hang turned out that’s what it was on the top of the cage….

 

All night he has been quiet. Teen came in about eleven tonight after a jog and looked at his bird and said he was panting heavy well I know that isn’t a good sign but when Teen walked away from the cage, our canary. Irish. Started to breathe normally He is on his little swing just looking around the room Teen said. He has fresh water too. Let’s see what he is like tomorrow?

 

The funny thing is, this morning I was playing music in my bedroom whilst getting ready and I had reggae on. I could hear our bird singing I smiled as saying to myself. “Oh, bless him he is liking my music from downstairs to up he can hear it.”

At the end of the song, I realised the bird was on the record….

 

Ok.

 

The Little Fella is working tomorrow with Hub going on a train journey for work let’s hope this time; he won’t disgrace himself by doing a doggy doodle right in the middle of the platform? Oh that was funny not sure if I told you but we had to move one of the plants our brother gave us. Not the one that poked my eye out but the other one that almost poked Hubs eye out. Hahalalalalhahahalalalal  I told my brother that he was trying to blind us.

 

We had to move it out because blooming Little Fella was eating the soil. Not only was he eating it, but he was feasting on it. He loved it. We put two lots of soil in it as the roots were showing again. The third time it needed new soil I had to move the pot into the conservatory and now my conservatory looks like a garden centre. There are five huge floor standing plants in there.

Well, when LF and Hub was last at the station, LF did his doodle and the guy next to Hub said in a rather loud voice.

“Gosh mate, looks like cannabis?”

 

Oh then Hub took out a bag…

I would have died on the spot.

 

It was a fact though. The soil came straight through him and out the other end… haha.

 

Wagga and LF have had their crazy play time and now are in bed cuddled up together. Teen thought he heard other pets in our house. In our loft. Yep, you have guessed it. He thinks we have mice now in the loft. Oh please, let it be the heating turning on?

 

Oh one more really funny story, well I think it is. Though I almost broke my back in the meanwhile.

I went into the kitchen this morning to stand on something not too pleasant. It was slimy. I took some good old kitchen paper and rubbed my plastic soul on my slipper. It smelled like lemons.

 

I realise that it was washing up liquid I was slipping on. It was in my cleaning cupboard under my kitchen sink. Obviously when I was getting the polish out yesterday it must have fell and tipped some out.

 

Well, I dried it then mopped it then dried it again.

 

This afternoon. Same again. Well how? Washed it dried it again. Tea time, same again. This was a joke?

 

When teen came in, he said “Mum. It’s not the fact you have missed some. It’s the fact that it’s tipped in the cupboard and is slowly pouring out through the door.”

Oops.

My kitchen floor is very clean!

 

OK loads to do around the house tomorrow so best get to bed. Teen off work but already has plans. He has two days off in a row then working for eight days. Five of them are rather interesting. Will let you know more at the time.

 

Has your day been a good one. Until tomorrow with love and hope.

THE CAGED BIRD

 Good day Bloggets. Right now at this very second I have not got a clue what to write about. Will this be a rare blog where I close it and forget about publishing? Not many of those I have done, I normally publish without even reading or thinking. Not always a good idea… On reflection…

 

My fingertips are so cold. I have been in our conservatory and didn’t put the heating on as when I first went in there, it was OK but after an hour? Then two, well, I could have put the heating on from my mobile as it was right next to me it would have taken me ten seconds but my brain was working overtime in fact it hurts smile. I have been working for the big office doing press releases and interviews, case studies and emails. Then I had a poem to write for someone and then my own files needed sorting out. I have written a couple of press releases in the past  two days so feel good that I have got that work done I can tick it off.

 

Just mopped the kitchen floor and now sitting with a hot cup of coffee. I went to post a letter today and though I now know my way to the nearby post box thanks to a friend showing me, I walked the long way to the other one to give Wagga some work. Our local shop isn’t much for her to do and the chemist and Doctors, dentist too I don’t go to more than once or twice per year so her work is limited but when I work her I feel so good. She gets me out and it makes me feel good for the rest of the day. The other day we were at the big shops as I call them. She remembered the pet shop of course and then the coffee shop. It’s been about two months since she was last there, as we just do the local ones because of that evil road. But still knows where it is. I would love to get into the mind of a guide dog for a day…

 

Oh my word what a week we are having? Firstly you know our light in the office is broken the wires are hanging out. Goodness knows how long that has been like that? Today the mirror fell off the wall on the landing as Teen was drying his hair and smashed the plug socket in half as well as broke some of the frame from my mirror. Gutted he said he could glue it as its not wood it’s kind of chrome bits like mosaic, that is great but my Son should have been Spanish as everything is , mañaña and even then it doesn’t always get done. I got a new lap top for Christmas still waiting for word to be put on. It will take him ten seconds. Need sight to do that sadly.  

Last night I went to turn the porch light on to greet the grocery shopping delivery man we only have one out of three lights working but last night teen told me that last light wasn’t working now. Well, they are not just easy normal bulbs, oh no, we didn’t put them in they were in before us. So two out of three have been off waiting for a year. Hahaha. And finally, when it comes to latest electrical events, my lovely earphones don’t work. I’m gutted I love them. Oh, and the bottom of the kitchen units has fallen off and the light in the guest room is not working that is the switch. We need a handy man. But as we can’t even employ one by advertising, as we tried last week, we have to do it ourselves and that takes brave blind or dangerously blind people to deal with electrics. You never know, I may fancy a spiky hair style?

 

I really don’t know what on earth our canary is doing. He’s Irish you know? Diddleydiddlydiddley doo.

 

He is going crazy in his cage. Sounds like he is trying to break free. The noise? Oh heck. I’m just going over to him now to see if he is OK.

 

 

OK feeling sick now. He isn’t flapping about when I put my hand on his cage. Wish teen was home right now? Have another four five hours before he is. No way I’m opening his cage door. Especially with a curious Wagga in the house. I hope, he is just eating oh but he has been making such a noise for an hour I have never heard anything like it. I may ask one of my neighbours will give him another half hour. Oh if he has fallen and broken his little leg? I really don’t like this. Just going over again to see if he will fly. Normally he does when I touch the cage.

 

 

Well been over there no flying when I went near and no tweeting. Just came away he is going mad again just sounds like he is scraping down the cage really hard though. Just put my hand on the top of the cage. Almost died feeling something sticking out. Oh God, is it a wing? A trapped leg? I don’t like it. Going to vacuum he likes the sound of that. I went into the kitchen and took an empty paper towel tube and ran that over the top where that crispy thing was. And u’u’u’GH it’s still there and he is still acting as if he is panicking. Hub will be home in half an hour too so he is braver than me. The Little Fella though is more inquisitive than Waggatail. I will have to put them both out of the room. This is Teens pet when it comes to this kind of thing. Mine when he is singing lovely or even when he is not singing lovely.  

  

OK going to clean floors put music on do anything to get him to do anything other than what he is doing now…. Later gators. With good news I hope

BLIND LOVING BY FIONA CUMMINGS

BLIND LOVEING

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

You belong to me

I am yours

You are my destiny

You open all doors

The first time I heard your voice

I knew I had no choice

I had to say hello

But how to get to you?

I didn’t know

Were your eyes brown, green or blue?

Was your hair red, black, brown or blonde?

Just through your words I felt that bond

That connection

Some affection

Like magnets pulling together

I wanted to be in your arms forever

I knew no one in that room

You burst my bubble my balloon

I was deflated

Should I have waited?

No, I had to get to you before you went

I felt like a child in a candy shop

But money all spent

Nothing left for that lolly pop

Empty pockets

But my heart was in a rocket

Just how to fly to you?

Follow each word

Hang onto each sentence

Fly like a bird

That makes sense

As I walked in your direction

I didn’t care of others reaction

My eyes didn’t see what was in my way

Hands out what would you say?

Such a fool I must have seamed

When I found you so close to me now

My mouth went dry what to say and how?

Mumbling

Stuttering

Spluttering fool

So badly I wanted to come across as cool

As I spoke some rubbish

Saying goodness only knows what?

Suddenly the room became so hot

Everything about you I fell in love with

My entirety I wanted to give

It was obvious my eyes didn’t see

But in my heart I begged you to want me

Only you that day in my world, twas you I saw

And now what do I see compared to those with sight?

So very much more

I was blessed as you saw through my eyes into my soul

I was the flames and you the coal

It wasn’t about a part of our brain which works or not

Even feelings of cold or hot

But a deep and meaningful need

If we part our hands will bleed

Our hearts will stop

Our hunger won’t feed

We would give up on the lot

As it’s you I need

And me who wants you

You know I’m speaking words so true

  You turned my river into an ocean so blue

And dirty snow into a sheet of white

 Such a glow

You reached for my hand and we were good to go

I had butterflies inside

Joyful tears I cried

It wasn’t an easy ride

As I was the first blind person you have ever met

You look at my face

I see your soul

You see things for me I will never know

There are things I can’t do

But more I can

I look into your world

You see in mine

I wanted to thank you with these words of gratitude

I love you to the moon

I kiss you and touch you, and will treasure you always

I want to spend my life with you by my side

As man and wife husband and bride

Fiona Cummings ©

Written for those without sight. Love is out there, just go and find it.

BLIND LOVING BY FIONA CUMMINGS

BLIND LOVEING

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

You belong to me

I am yours

You are my destiny

You open all doors

The first time I heard your voice

I knew I had no choice

I had to say hello

But how to get to you?

I didn’t know

Were your eyes brown, green or blue?

Was your hair red, black, brown or blonde?

Just through your words I felt that bond

That connection

Some affection

Like magnets pulling together

I wanted to be in your arms forever

I knew no one in that room

You burst my bubble my balloon

I was deflated

Should I have waited?

No, I had to get to you before you went

I felt like a child in a candy shop

But money all spent

Nothing left for that lolly pop

Empty pockets

But my heart was in a rocket

Just how to fly to you?

Follow each word

Hang onto each sentence

Fly like a bird

That makes sense

As I walked in your direction

I didn’t care of others reaction

My eyes didn’t see what was in my way

Hands out what would you say?

Such a fool I must have seamed

When I found you so close to me now

My mouth went dry what to say and how?

Mumbling

Stuttering

Spluttering fool

So badly I wanted to come across as cool

As I spoke some rubbish

Saying goodness only knows what?

Suddenly the room became so hot

Everything about you I fell in love with

My entirety I wanted to give

It was obvious my eyes didn’t see

But in my heart I begged you to want me

Only you that day in my world, twas you I saw

And now what do I see compared to those with sight?

So very much more

I was blessed as you saw through my eyes into my soul

I was the flames and you the coal

It wasn’t about a part of our brain which works or not

Even feelings of cold or hot

But a deep and meaningful need

If we part our hands will bleed

Our hearts will stop

Our hunger won’t feed

We would give up on the lot

As it’s you I need

And me who wants you

You know I’m speaking words so true

  You turned my river into an ocean so blue

And dirty snow into a sheet of white

 Such a glow

You reached for my hand and we were good to go

I had butterflies inside

Joyful tears I cried

It wasn’t an easy ride

As I was the first blind person you have ever met

You look at my face

I see your soul

You see things for me I will never know

There are things I can’t do

But more I can

I look into your world

You see in mine

I wanted to thank you with these words of gratitude

I love you to the moon

I kiss you and touch you, and will treasure you always

I want to spend my life with you by my side

As man and wife husband and bride

Fiona Cummings ©

Written for those without sight. Love is out there, just go and find it.

THE MAGIC CARPET

Good morning Bloggets. Well, after about three hours sleep, I’m so tired I can hardly open my eyes. This time of day I could sleep forever. Though sadly interrupted as all of my sleep always is. After trying to put on a pair of my Husbands trousers that was a laugh, I eventually got dressed and came downstairs had a coffee and toast talking to my Little Waggatail and then I made my Sons lunch for work. He is still a sleep as he starts later today and works till eight tonight, so won’t be home till nine.

 

Why am I up so early? Well, I’m waiting for my carpet man. He was due forty minutes ago. I rang the carpet shop and she said, the lady with the hysterically funny voice though so sweet, that the guys will be here in ten minutes that was ten minutes ago, but at least they are coming.

 

 When my carpet is down, I wait for my new furniture. That is due in nine days. Really, everything is so slow. But my electrician still hasn’t finished the work in there so I think I am going to have to sadly look for another one. Shame as he is a lovely guy. My jointer yesterday was a good find, not that I had to find him, as he is a friend of someone Hub knows. I say he was a good find as he seemed to be a nice guy; his prices were really low in comparison to what he could have asked for. I was expecting to have a hoot (laugh) followed by feelings of sadness and disappointment with human’s greed, but no, he was OK. So if he does a good job, he will be a fantastic contact. Only thing is, he kept calling me Sarah. Nothing wrong with that name in fact it’s a pretty name, but I’m not her, who is she and can she see? Haha haha. If so, and she wants to be my Doppelganger or whatever you call them, then I’m obliged to accommodate.

 

Oh my man is here….. Yeah. Great. Excited dot com. I’m sad I get all in a fluster when nice things are getting done to my house. Our office really was disgraceful. When we moved we just threw everything in there and it was like a large cupboard just also happened to have a desk in there so it became the office. He is getting rid of our carpet for us; there was a bag with some old bits of carpet from that room in and old paint tins. We also had in there an old curtain poll. Hub said because it is an easy room, we have removed every single thing from there, it took us forever mainly Hub, we kind of hoped that the man would take our bag with him for the skip. No such luck. He has just told me that he has put it on the landing for me so I know where it is…. I told him it was rubbish, and he answered, do you want me to bring it down for you? I said no, just leave it there thank you. Hmm… Grrrrr. Oh well, there you go…. Worth a try. Really, if he is going to tip the carpet, why not a bag too? I know that if everyone did that it would fill his van, but it’s one bag… He is a nice guy though, oh I can’t wait to feel and smell the carpet. Gosh, what on earth did I buy? Remember, He only brought four or five samples, they were all plain. I told them I wanted a milky coffee kind of gold colour. I didn’t say plain or patterned. He showed me one type of carpet. In three or four shades. I didn’t like the carpet but liked one of the colours he called gold with hints of cream, depending which way you looked at it… Then there was another carpet, I liked as it wasn’t that kind of open pile that the other ones were. It was a thick flat carpet. If you know what I mean. But it wasn’t in a colour I liked. It was beige and I wanted fancy beige. Haha. So I asked him for that carpet in the other colour. Never thinking he would be able   to find such a thing. He said he had. So what we have right now? And is it as thick? I bet if there is a decent chunk I could use as a door mat, he will blooming take that away?

 

Tell you Bloggets a really odd thing, the lady on the phone always refers to them as “They?” Well, they it may be, but there has always been just one man here… Where is the other? Who is the other? Perhaps it’s Sarah?

 

Going back to my joiner, why did I not tell him my name was Fiona, not Sarah? He was so enthusiastic about my name being Sarah; I just didn’t have it in me… hehehe. What am I like?

 

OK, going to sort out the cheque where did I put it? Teen kindly wrote it out for me last night and I just signed the back. I have one of those cheque things you may know they are a plastic grid; you pop on top of your cheque and there are tiny places for you to fill in and on the plastic,  Braille writen what you are to put in there. Great, if you can read Braille? Next time my friend Julie is here, I may get her to show me how to do this. She doesn’t read Braille as she is sighted, mind you, that’s no excuse… But she can see what the print is and then I just need to remember. There are a lot of open empty grids to remember. Hub saw it and said that he hasn’t seen one like it. So I’m a little afraid to learn with Hub as of course he reads Brail perfectly, but what if the bank gave me a grid that is from before cheques have changed and I fill in things that no longer exist? That is what I mean when I say what I do, when I said it to my Brother in law a couple of weeks ago, bless him, he was rather shocked and was so sweet to me when I said I was illiterate. Well, that is what my darling of a Husband once said to me and I have never let him forget it. Hahaha. He is right of course. I can’t see to read or write, though I used to read when I had sight and I still do write, and I can’t read Braille. Or write it shamefully. At one point in my Husbands career he was head of Braille in the UK. Shame on him for not teaching me, right? And I tried to learn it myself, oh I’m rubbish. My fingers just don’t seem to be able to feel the dots. When I was a child, my school was for the blind and everyone read and wrote Braille. But me. Russian Doctors insisted that I wasn’t to learn anything that may make me believe I have poor sight.

 

My second school was for those with partial sight and there was no Braille read or written. It was all print. In fact I remember I had so much detention there as my writing used to go over the lines a little. I used to be able to see a tiny bit of a letter. If I were to write the word, AND,

 I would see a small fraction of the A. Sighted people could read that full word that line and even the page and what is around the room but the tiny pin prick in my eye of sight, prevented me from doing that and our very loving kind understanding school just didn’t get that. In fact the evil place as of course I was being flippant before, didn’t understand any of our needs. It was a hell of a school though great kids having said that, I’m closer to those from my first school for the blind. We are still friends. My Dearest Trix is from there and JB as well as Tracy. Of course that is where I met my Husband too.

 

OK, will go now, my washing machine is finished so will do that then empty the dish washer as that is done too. My washing has to go in the dryer which is in the garage. Not looking forward to that as its so’o’oo’oo  cold today. Laters with love and a new carpet….. eeeeeeeee’eeeee’eeee 

ROAR BY FIONA CUMMINGS FOR THE PARENTS OF LITTLE CAITLIN RUDDY

ROAR

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

The distant roar

The grain of sand

I want to hold your hand

I need you to walk through the door

I put a shell to my ear

It’s your voice I can hear

Your laughter blows in the wind

Your smile is in the sun

You’re free to run

In pastures green

My darling Princess will become a queen

I look to the ocean

For a second it’s an evil potion

I remember the emotion

Knock to my world

My little girl

Hair of gold

Words in a swirl

They said you had gone

Couldn’t carry on

Your heart stopped in fright

On that cold January night

In shock

My insides did lock

Words said to me I wanted to block

You weren’t coming back to me

A life full of misery

How could I go on?

Looking at still water

So green and calm

How could that have taken my daughter?

And why?

I look to the sky

I need answers

Always the chancer

Never played safe

Why did you go out that night?

“Stay in where it’s warm?”

But you were a free spirit

If you had stayed just for one more minute?

 Would that have saved you?

Ocean so blue

These words are true

You took my baby

Into your night so navy

A salted mermaid

It’s you I hate

 How long do I wait

To hear your explanation

Where is my daughter’s destination?

My heart is in threads

My darling child is dead

Because of you

This view

In front of me

They call it the sea

It’s the devil to me

Nothing good about it

Here I sit

Upon a rock

Bitter blades bruise my gaze

In the foggy haze

I pray

My daughter will return one day

This will have all been a nightmare

Yes, I see her now, she’s there

The salt bites at my lips

My feet in the icy water dips

I put out my arms to touch her

But I’m pulled back by her father

He holds me we breakdown

We fall to the ground

Don’t care who is around

They know us

They fuss

Try to help

But among the kelp

Is footprints

I hope my princess meets with her Prince

 

Fiona Cummings ©

For the family of

Caitlin Ruddy

R.I.P little girl.

NEWS VIEWS AND MY DIARY

A lovely Sunday. We woke it was a bright crisp proper winters day. There was snow in parts of the UK. Scotland had it really cold below freezing in parts, about eleven I think?  We had a dust of the white stuff but nothing bad and thankfully Teen got to work and back without any issues of ice.

 

We did our housework and then it was time for our dog walker to come to take Waggatail and Little Fella for their weekly walk. Or should I say run? Our lady said that they once again ran for the full hour. A poodle took a liken to LF and they had such fun, Waggatail found more Greyhounds, not the same ones oddly enough to the weeks before, but three walks out of about fifteen , there have been three sets of Greyhounds and Waggs loves them.

 

We had an easy dinner tonight and chilled the rest of the day. Listening to music and chatting.

 

I went to bed at a decent time but now it’s silly o clock and I’m downstairs writing. I can only guess it’s about three in the morning, but it may not be that far into the day of Monday.

 

Today is the day our carpet gets put into our office/whatever room. He is coming at half nine. So by the time I get to bed part two, fall asleep wake up when Hubs alarm goes off I guess I may have three hours sleep?

 

The new joiner came. I really thought he wouldn’t bother coming at all. He was nice and friendly. He gave a great price because we knew the guy who recommended him to   us and that guy is a friend of his. Now, that other man, I could write a book on his adventures in life. He is shall I say, a colourful character. And he keeps bringing Hub pies. Haha haha. Don’t ask. As can’t tell.

 

Hub off to Peterborough again this week. Remember, the place he said he would never go again as long as he lives? He hates the place but still, he has been asked to work there to take care of another team. How long for? Your guess is as good as mine and Hub isn’t asking that question. I just hope the Little Fella doesn’t do his doggy doodles again on the platform at the station. LF’s spending issues are a bit of a problem. Today, he went to the loo this morning, this afternoon, and then again when he went on his free run. One hour after that, Hub let him out again, he went again and then Hub worked him and guess what he did? Another Doodle. It’s awful. He is a brilliant guide, never makes a mistake. Nothing fazes him but he has to do what he does when he wants. And that is every time he goes out. I blame the new dog food it may not be new to him, but it is to Waggatail and she really isn’t happy with it.

 

It’s dreadful when a dog is like that I know when I first got my Black Beauty, AKA Hannah, she spent every single time we went on the school route. Right in the middle of a road. Always the same blooming road. It was mortifying. In fact my mortif has never been so fied. I used to have to pick it up, right in front of the snobby Mothers I lived near as they passed with their little darlings, sticking their noses up and the worst bit was, the cars used to stop and wait for me to do it, well, thankfully. Or I wouldn’t just be picking it up, I would be saying ****

 

I changed her feeding times and that helped huge amounts…. Literally. Gosh, if you haven’t got a dog, I do apologise for this blog… Just like hub, when you are in a suit, and you are on your way to your office, the last thing you want to be doing is the doggy doodle dance.

 

My big brother is now I hope having a great time with my Sister in law on holiday. They kindly asked if we wanted to go, but the price is rather expensive, and as we didn’t win the huge amount on the Lotto last week, we shall be staying at home. As for the US version of Lotto? I don’t know if that got won, but goodness, that was an obscene amount of money, whoever wins that can campaign to be President?

 

Reading our news online, in the UK a fifteen year old girl was pulled into the sea in my old home ocean of Cullercoats bay, in North Tyneside. She was walking with friends. It was bitter cold. The Sea in the Northeast is perishing in the winter, even in summer it’s really cold. The poor child had a heart attack. She was walking with her two friends. It sent a shiver down my spine for three reasons. One my Son oftern used to go to the beach at nights with his friends. I used to ask him why? It was dark. In the summer days, they never went. Now winter, nights, they go to the coast. I can’t imagine if anything happened to him how I would even be able to carry on living. And two, such a young girl what a total waist of a life. She was innocent and had the world at her fingertips. Three, where do her parents go now? The pain the grief. I really don’t know how they will cope. I feel sick at the thought of their poor broken hearts.

 

Remains of serial child killer Robert Black, lie unclaimed in a mortuary as no one wants to claim his body and politicians say they don’t want him buried in Northern Ireland. He was an evil man, burn him and forget about what is right and wrong. I mean, he had no care for others when he was alive, why waste money and time on him?   

 

Britain have new invaders. We have giant worms. Two feet long and growing. Oh no, that sounds like a nightmare to me. Where have they come from? I don’t even want to read more. I can’t stand tiny ones in the garden, let alone worms the size of snakes!

 

Oh this made me sad, I love Celine Dion. I just read that her Husband died not long ago. He was so much older than her and they had a child may be more? She loved him from what I remember seeing in interviews. I never understood it as he was so much older than her. More like her Father. Well, two days after his death. Celine’s brother also died. Poor lady. Just really shows, money can’t buy you everything.

 

A flower has bloomed in the zero gravity of space for the first time ever. US astronaut Scott Kelly, announced the historic news that a zinnia plant has flowered on the international space station.

 

So, there you go, up to date with the news and my views which I know you may not agree with but each to their own…. I know one thing we will all agree with and that is my final story is a great one there is nothing negative about this.

 

Cure for MS? Patient’s condition permanently reversed after a pioneering new stem cell treatment is reversing and then halting the potentially crippling effects of multiple sclerosis.

 

Fantastic, bring it on. And now for the eyes to see please?

 

Talking of eyes, I guess I should get some shut eye? Later gators with love. X