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Saturday, 10 March 2018

MOTHERS DAY PAIN AND MORE BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Today I have been learning all about the lump in my eye. Old Bloggets will remember that for years I had a lump like a dry pea under my eyelash. I had it for six years. I visited the Doctors many times but they just kept saying they weren’t worried… Nice, as I, was. Then one day it suddenly wasn’t there. But what was left was a white mark on my eye. Not visual to others, just it was on my eye lense. Though I can’t see, I can still today see this nasty dirty finger-mark at the very bottom of my eye. Like a foggy window. If I’m blind, how can I see this? Anyway, I just learned by internet research that the lump is in fact, called a Chalazion!

 

There are various ways to get rid of this lump and it’s not considered dangerous. But what concerns me is the fact I can see this dirty foggy mark. Is that the fluid that has come from this cyst?

 You can get rid of this lump by a clean warm cloth with some baby shampoo on or, dip a green teabag in hot water for five minutes, squeeze it out and place it on your lump twice a day for a couple of weeks. There are various other ways to get rid of this lump, but will mine come back? As it just burse two years ago and came back last month. I had it for the first time for six years. I’m aware of it all the time. It’s not nice.

 

Sadly, our dogs are not getting out today for a free run as the field is flooded. It’s a shame as they know at weekends they get their free run. It’s rained all night and forecast to do so all day too. Still cold as well. 7 degrees.

 

Hub is on the treadmill. He’s totally obsessed by the gym. He listens to his sport and off he goes. He’s doing about 10 kilometres just over 6 miles per day. Me? I’m a total lost cause and it really bothers me.

 

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day in the UK. A sad day for those of us who no longer have our Mums. And to be bombarded by texts, emails and advertising on the TV and radio about not forgetting it’s Mother’s Day makes me quite annoyed.

 

I remember the first Mother’s Day after my Mum died as she died in the January and Mother’s day in March. So, not too long after she left me. I was totally devastated. My heart burst with pain. No amount of stitches or love would heal what I felt. So, the constant reminders really didn’t benefit me. It just rubbed salt into the wound.

 

The second year was just as bad and the third I cried buckets of tears. I missed her so very much. Every time I looked at my baby, it broke my heart, as he was without Grandparents. Something that should never happen. Every child should have a Grandparent that is good kind and different to a parent.

 

Someone to add to the bringing up of a child. My Son did without so much when it came to family. That can never be fixed. And it hurts me so badly. I tried to be everything to him, but no one can be that.

 

I remember my first Mother’s day as a new parent. No card no flowers, nothing from my ex to recognise the day. Again, I think my first Mothers day with my baby, he was about three weeks old. So, all new. Mind you, the only thing my ex brought into hospital to me was a cheese  pasty. I would laugh if it wasn’t so tragic. My now Hub says he wishes things could have been different and he was with me since we were young and he would have brought up our Son better. I know he would have been a great father in my Sons early days, and I can only thank God now that he has been in my Sons life since my boy was almost 12.  Enough to bring him up to be the independent young man he is today. It’s thanks to my Husband that my Son has focus in life and I provide the love. So, a great team. But with regards Mothers day, for those of you who are facing the day without your Mum for the first time, I know your pain. And I promise you will over the years deal with it better than you will this year. You may shed a tear or feel really sad but that will dilute in time to just a painful thought that will be replaced by other things in your life, I just so wish that companies would stop all the advertising. It’s all about money now. If you love your Mum, you will be there for them all the time and you don’t need one day to thank them. One day you are told to thank them. It will be a day of your choice.

 

For my dear Bloggets who are not Mums and never will be, you are not forgotten about, you will be appreciated by others every day for something but because it’s not a day for you called thank you for whatever day, you just may not know how special you really are. For those missing the fact you don’t have a child, a Mum to me is someone who loves and cares. You may do that with for example your dog. I do know someone who actually buys herself a gift from her dogs. And, what is wrong with that? After all, our dogs love us unconditionally every day. And, if they could, they would buy us something but to be honest, the love I get from my dogs is better than any gift. So, next time you are feeling so sad you don’t have a child, look in the eyes of your pet or someone you have just helped. We go through life not knowing just what we mean to others, it’s just we are all rubbish at telling people how grateful we are to them for whatever. My dear friend Louise is my Mum from a far. I love her and if I ever need to vent she is there to give her honest advice. My friend Pauline also is a huge help and Mary you know how much you mean to me. We have memories I can never and never want to forget.

 

You, are special. You, mean so much to so many people. You, don’t need commercial crap to make you feel better. With love from me not only on this day, but every day.

 

 

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