WHAT NOTE? BY FIONA CUMMINGS

On that note, I shall go to bed but before I do, whilst I can tell you my dog Waggatail has come to life. She has just brought me her toy and is sitting with her head on the edge of my lap top trying to look at me with her beautiful eyes that would melt the heart of an ice queen, as if I can see them? My Son tells me of the love in Waggatails eyes, it’s a good thing I can’t see her eyes or I would give in to a lot more than I do already. My Hubs dog is laying across my left foot. I have one toasty warm foot and one that represents a cold bag of frozen peas.

 

It’s bitter out there. No kidding, I was out earlier and now my bones are so cold I think they will find it difficult to move ever again.

 

I have been on the new exercise recumbent bike twice today. I must say it’s fine apart from when I first got on it it was like riding a horse… Well you would have laughed. I was lifting my leg over the bit in the middle. Thinking, I can’t do this, my mobility is so restricted. I’m so unhealthy. My legs are thankfully long as I’m tall, just since my last fall two years ago, my knees are broken and this makes my movement challenging. No, impossible. I truly feel as if my legs are about to snap. Hence the bike to try to get more motivated.

 

Well I huffed and I puffed. Seriously, I felt like the wolf from the famous Three Little Pigs story. No hair on my chinny chin chin, but my huffing and puffing was ridiculous. So, unfit. Then, Hub said.

“Love. What are you doing?””

Me. Oh, what does it chuffing look like? Trying to get my leg over this piggin bike…””

Honestly, I can’t stand it when people ask questions to which they have obvious answers!

Then he calmly said.

“There’s a huge gap you don’t need to climb anywhere.””

Oh.

Oops.

That’s better!

 

  Goodnight.

 

THE MEANING OF EASTER BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good afternoon from this very gloomy Saturday in the UK. Yesterday was a really odd evening. Our Son was due home from work at quarter to nine and by nine he wasn’t home. Half past I was worried as he wasn’t answering his phone or text messages. I decided to text Shamrock as she knows of BW’s every abouts and she always replies thankfully to my messages. She told me he was at the pub with his friends. These are new pals. Nice of him to let me know and his dinner you couldn’t reheat. I knew he was at work this morning by 7 am so by midnight, I text him and he replied saying he would be home soon. Last week he gave his colleague a lift home and he didn’t realise how far he lived. It was a round trip of 40 minutes. So, again he didn’t let me know but that meal kind of could get reheated. So, today, I’m certainly not preparing anything until he enters the house.

 

The past two days our emergency services have been going crazy. Not sure if it’s the excitement of Easter or just the weather causing more accidents.

 

My friends Husband ended up in hospital yesterday. Bless him, not a way he wanted to spend his weekend. He went away to Scotland for a few days on his own and had to take a taxi to the hospital last night and that is where he is still today. I wish I could drive and I would go and pick him up to bring him back as his caravan which is his where he was staying for the few days, has no cooker or heating now. so, if he gets out, where will he go? He shouldn’t be driving back home and he shouldn’t stay overnight until he feels a bit better. He’s had a cat scan so just waiting to see what happened to him yesterday.

 

Our neighbours asked us to go for a meal to a restaurant I really don’t feel comfortable about, there are reasons why, believe me… So, it’s cooking for Fifi. Mind you, Hub has put a turkey in the oven for Easter Sunday dinner tomorrow. Oh, I could have been sick as he asked me to move from the bin as quotes… He had a turkey neck in his hands… Oh, gross! I can’t deal with that the legs and neck. Over to him. As for the plastic bag inside of them with all the bits and bobs in, oh, no, please…

 

So, after stressing about our boy last night, I had a rough sleep and was awake from half six this morning. Couldn’t get back to sleep so took a bath… “Where did you take the bath too Fiona?”” very funny.

 

Then we had a delivery. This was what I was talking about yesterday. We have bought a second hand recumbent bike from eBay. It’s one where the seat is like, well, a seat… Rather than the bony thing we had on our last bike. This machine is huge. It’s great. Now I’m expected to use it, aren’t I?

 

After how many calories that are in Easter eggs, yes, I must. Up to 1800 per large chocolate egg. Oh, my goodness. Really? Never in the history of bouncing bunny’s. Their hollow for chick’s sake. There’s nothing inside of them. Air… how much is air? We are not taxed on that as far as I know, so how can they be so calorific?

 

A quarter of our Easter eggs are packaging. What a waist that’s to make them look bigger.  

 

I was sent some emails asking me to explain to other cultures/countries what Easter is.

Easter is a Christian festival which celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ. According to the new testament, Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday and came back to life three days later. His resurrection is celebrated on Easter Sunday which also marks the end of Lent the forty days of fasting.

 

I made some leak and potato soup today so may have that for dinner. As tomorrow is a big one with it being Easter. I wish my boy was off then we could go out for Sunday lunch having said that, Hub has an enormous turkey to eat that I am sure he will have to freeze most of or put into a stew and then pop into the freezer.

 

Brutal snow is forecast to hit Britain tomorrow. Nice.

Can you remember when shops were all closed over Bank holiday weekend? Easter weekend? Gosh, not now. Even my boy had to turn up at work at silly hour this morning. Our blooming bin men came on Good Friday, this would have never happened a few years ago. We really are going towards a life of existence with no tradition or morals.

 

My Husband has his 50^th birthday at the end of the year. Oh, wait to hear what he wants to do to celebrate that? I shall share that with you in October but in the meanwhile, I wish he would change his blooming mind as it’s the scariest idea I have heard yet!

 

I have a dear friend and Blogget from South Africa and now my author friend and Blogget who incidentally is also, from SA, and they both speak stunning English. In fact, they put English people to shame. The way they write is pure poetry. Perfection. Their words paint a picture. What ever they were taught at school and however, we should learn from this. Though I have a feeling school life for them especially way back, may have been rather intense and cruel. So, let’s learn the good things and introduce them to our schools as young people now days are talking so badly. I think my Sons ex spoke the best English I have heard from a young person. Well, she had to have something good about her… But apart from that, what comes out of the youth’s mouths now days one would wonder even if they are from here!

 

Well on that rather odd note, I shall go to my kitchen, pop some bread in the oven and have it hot with the soup. It’s so cold out there and so very wet. Wherever you are keep warm and safe. And for those who celebrate it, happy Easter. For those who don’t, enjoy this weekend and look forward to the week ahead.

 

 

GOOD FRIDAY BY FIONA CUMMINGS @FionaPefi

Good day Bloggets. So, in your country do you eat only fish on a Good Friday? Sadly, it’s a tradition in the UK that is dying. I still cook Hub fish and of course Boy Wonder and I have vegetarian food anyway. It’s tradition that we have fish and chips/Fried potatoes on Good Friday. But I can bet you that every single person in our street today will not bother with that. So, we don’t go to church we are not typical religious people, but we do stick to tradition. I don’t know if my Husband did before he married me but I do and will always. My Son when he ate meat he kept to that, even when he was on holiday during Easter. So, I hope he will stick to that tradition when he is bringing up his children.

 

I have prepared everything, for my mini Bloggets who read this blog, the Easter chick has been and kindly left us special Easter eggs which are even magically boiled for us and come in a beautiful colour of deep reddish brown, they are shiny too almost as if they have boiled them in red onion peal and polished them with butter… They look apparently beautiful. And the Bunny has been too, not sure when all this action went on in my house, as I thought I heard chirping, and when I went in the kitchen, there was a dish of beautiful eggs. And in my sitting room, a basket for BW full of all kinds of treats and two large eggs as well as a small one. There was a huge egg for my Husband and myself and one for me and him to share. Strangely in our fridge there is another basket full of goodies for BW. Sham has a surprise too.  There’s everything from chocolate bunny paws to mini bunny rabbits to chocolate Easter chicks and golden eggs.

 

We have warm hot cross buns with butter to eat with a cup of tea. I haven’t got daffodils this year for the first time over Easter. But have had some over the week leading up to Easter. And have more coming on Monday.

 

It’s pouring with rain and this morning it was sleet. Apparently, the snow due on Monday, will be pink. From the desert. That is just very odd. Imagine pink snow?

 

I have fond memories of taking my Son as a small child on Easter hunts in large fine halls, and grounds. The weather always seemed to be nice. I saw a funny thing the other day, advertising an Easter carrot hunt…

Firstly, I thought to myself, gosh, I can’t imagine many children getting excited about hunting for carrots, but then I thought of the kids who are allergic to chocolate.

 

We in England had the best chocolate in the world in my opinion then sadly, we sold out to America and now our delicious Cadbury’s tastes like Hershey bars. It’s waxy and bland.

 

Talking of America, I had the best Easter in the world there with friends some years ago. Gosh, it was so exciting and there were so many gifts you could buy. Our friends bought us the cutest cuddly toys that sang and made movements. Even down to salt and pepper pots which I had to buy to add to my collection, were of boiled eggs in egg cups. Gosh, I wish I could bring back those days for certain things. Not for the work Hub did at the time though I fear his work will get close to that as from Tuesday his role will involve more travel, only not abroad. He went for a job interview a few weeks ago kind of forced into it as there was no choice he wants the best for his team and for us as a family. Well, he got the job we only learned a few days ago. So, let’s see where the next adventure takes us. What ever the case I know Hub will do his best as he doesn’t do failure. Our Brother in law and my Sister in law, have been so very supportive and for that we are so grateful. I have been touched by Hubs brother and my Sister. Their words have shown so much care, thought and love.

 Tomorrow is an interesting day. We are due a delivery. Excited dot com… More later. Until then have a great weekend.

 

1,839 WORDS OF LIFE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I’m up for the challenge that has been put forward to me of late, from a dear Blogget and a kind person in my life who has given me strength to write something that is out of my comfort zone. To write something I have never written before. A love story. Whether it will be any good or not, is another matter and when it is written I will try to take it onto the next stage and that will be to get the story published.

 

 I got told off by my Husband today because I’m putting a comma after the capital letter I. back to school. Hahaha. So, I will try in this blog and future ones, not to put a comma after the capital letter, I! Hub is in the gym right now, so, I’m quickly writing todays blog.

 

April showers is what we have today and I wouldn’t say it was very warm either. Our dogs have had a mad half hour playing with a toy, yes, a, toy. So, they have at least fifteen toys and they always want the same one. Hub and I have had a really lazy week my housework has been basic. I shall suffer for that when Hub goes back to work as there will be double everything to do. We are talking about decorating our sitting room. I said to Hub to save some money, I will take the wallpaper off the wall. Hoping I wouldn’t bring half the wall away with the paper… I have booked our painter in, it’s almost as bad as trying to get an appointment to see a Doctor.  It was funny today when he said he wouldn’t be able to come until July, I told him he was very popular. Then said joking of course… “You should be just waiting for my call.””

Then realising, he didn’t get the fact I was joking. Oops… I just say words then think about what has been said… He’s a fantastic decorator. I trust his work, he did a great job last time he came here, but he hates plastering, so if I mess the walls up…

 

Hub says he hates paper and doesn’t want to see it again. So, it’s only paint from now on. Seriously, we have leather sofas and wood floors now painted walls? It’s cold looking, I love sitting rooms where by there is a lovely thick paper on the walls and thick carpets with material/fabric sofa’s. So, homely. But not at all practical with two dogs or children. We have the two dogs now and who knows in the near future we may have babies. Depending if Shamrock wants one.

 

Oh, Shamrocks sister is having a baby shower. Firstly, years ago when I heard of this, I thought they were tiny showers you put your baby in. Then I began to think of the practicalities of it all how would you get a baby to stand under a shower?  Then realising this is stupid, it must mean something else, I talked to people this was before the internet.  Learned exactly what it was and knew at that time, a baby shower, only happened in America. It took some years before the UK caught on. I must say, I don’t like the idea. Negative Fi, thinks, what if something happens to the baby?  Traditionist Fi, thinks, don’t be setting either pink or blue balloons off telling the sex of the baby, in fact don’t learn until the birth. Isn’t that more exciting? We live in a must have must know world right now.

 

When I learned you play games at these baby showers? Revolting games like getting nappies/diapers, filling them with revolting foods like chocolate spread or worse getting guests to open the nappy with a blind fold on and tasting trying to guess what food is in their nappy? Oh, my stomach turned. Did backflips and I wanted to regurgitate.

 

And now Shamrock is organising a huge event for her sister’s baby shower in a hall, why? What is wrong with her house? I seriously don’t live in this world, or don’t belong as I often think I am the only person with the values and ideas in life which I share with you. Or am I boring? I think the answer is yes. We spent the day with our friends yesterday and not a drop of alcohol passed our lips even though if it was summer I am sure the men would have had a beer. My friend and I were saying, we are very happy with a cup of coffee or tea. But again, we are the only ones who are like this. Every other person loves alcohol. Even TV programs we have been watching of late whereby they are looking for a house or change of location either by area or country, most people say they want to live near a pub. Or, they say they need a large drink after looking at the properties on offer. And they weren’t talking about a builder’s mug of tea.

 

I think for me I have seen so many people start to drink a little then they get a taste for it and need more then they can’t think of a night out even a day eventually without drinking. It’s an addiction and I can’t say a word as my poor diet of sometimes nothing sometimes a day of a bag of crisps or biscuits, is a way of life for me, so who am I to say anything about drinkers? I just look at my friends and family and worry about them but possibly they look at me and think the same or think. “What a mess of a person and they would have every right.

 

My Son is a vegetarian now and has gone as far as trying to persuade others and he has no chance so gets upset when their reactions is not how he expects people to be. As far as people laughing at the thought of an animal suffering or being treat in a way he feels is wrong. I feel it’s very sad and wrong but I know there are people out there who will never change their mind. So, over the years I have learned to not say anything quite so controversial as the things that my boy is coming out with.

 

 Just as I don’t understand why every person isn’t a vegetarian, I know not to speak out. I have no right to tell people what to do in life. Though it saddens me to think of them eating innocent animals/creatures. Our Son has to learn he can’t change their minds but he can have private thoughts which will upset him and disappoint him because inside his head, he knows what others are doing is awful, and I’m trying to tell him to stop looking at the cruelty to animal’s videos on the internet. No way I can look or even talk to others about those videos. He was looking at leather and wool last night. Oh, my what he found out about wool was horrific. I told him I didn’t want to know, but he kept trying to tell me as if to get me to explain why people can do such things, almost if he had a reason, then he would feel better, but there is no reason in my mind that I can tell him. I also told him not to become a vegan as I can’t cook vegan food and I don’t believe it’s healthy. Of course, it’s good for the animals, but it isn’t good for him and I know there will be loads of vegans out there in Fifi Blogget land shouting at their screens now, so forgive me for my ignorance with regards vegan meals. And that is what it is, ignorance. Also, I can’t be as selfless as not to buy leather shoes. So, am I a hypocrite? I don’t believe so. If everyone stopped eating meat there wouldn’t be as many animals slaughtered and though some say there wouldn’t be as many animals out there if we didn’t eat them, fine, I would rather not see as many cows in the field, than to see them knowing their destiny! I just hope I can steer my Son in the direction of being a vegetarian and not vegan. If BW does marry Sham and have children, I can see huge rows ahead with regards bringing their child up vegetarian or meat eater. Sham loves meat and never in the history of Shamology, will she stop eating meat.

  

Shamrock came around last night, she is so funny. The things she comes out with. Last night she had us laughing telling us she was like Jesus. Oh, my… She went to her boss and told her too, she was like Jesus. She says she keeps bringing people back to life. Well, when her story came out, some people she looks after in the home are so ill and don’t want to get out of bed, but she makes them… And suddenly they walk and are able to play board games with the others and so on. So, hopefully this will always be, and one day she won’t come across people who look ill and really are ill and die quicker than they should have! It's awful for her, she cares for end of life. If she was my daughter, no way I would encourage her to do that job, though in her words, she loves it. She does get upset though when people die. I do believe it affects her thought process though. She’s 18, too young to be around death.

 

Hub and I are out tomorrow with our dogs and we are going to look at paint for our walls. That should be interesting. I want to try to avoid cream… My whole house is full of cream. A colour I hated when I had sight but now I’m blind, it’s a colour that is easy for me. It’s a colour which goes with anything. I just wish I could see the shop assistants faces when two blind people with guide dogs come walking into their paint shop! We are at the pub quiz tomorrow again, how quickly a week fly’s by!

 

In our news a man driving 72 miles per hour in a 40 miles zone and was drunk, 2 and a half times over the drink drive limit and killed as he crashed into three 16-year-old boys waiting at a bus stop then fled the scene, has today been given a stupid sentence of 13 years, so he probably will be out in eight. For three lives? Shocking. Disgusting. An insult to those poor children and their families.

 

Well on that cheerful note, I shall go for now. Be calm and excited as you never know what is around the corner, so, keep your heart at peace and feed the butterflies in your stomach!

 

 

 

 

 

TO BE BLIND WHAT A QUESTION BY FIONA CUMMINGS

It’s beautiful outside. Walking today with my Waggatail I just wished I wasn’t among the pollution of life. Today was easy to step out as I received a pill of love and support from a dear Blogget from South Africa. He sent me such words that I will treasure forever and coming from him such an acclaimed person filled me with help I needed!

 

Our neighbours are all out in their gardens. The ones off work either taking holidays or retired. Digging cutting grass and so on. I joked with one this morning as he told me he was putting holes in the grass. “So, the rain and snow can get through and not flood?”” He laughed and agreed as we have been told that snow is going to make a recurrence.

 

I tried to make an appointment for my Son to see the Doctor but it was going to be 16 days. Oh, my goodness. Isn’t that ridiculous? He’s had a really horrid cough for six weeks now and it’s not getting better.

 

Our besties are coming to spend the day with us tomorrow. Hub is doing the cooking. He’s making home made bread too, so, it will be up to me to serve and smile. Hahaha. It will be a lovely day though.

 

I have been asked or said to this week some similar thing at least three times it’s odd that the same thing has been said as many times in such a short time. So, I shall try to answer by writing rather than talking to them and hopefully will be able to get across in a clearer way!

 

“What is it like being blind?”” And. “I, can’t imagine what it’s like being blind!””    

Firstly, I used to imagine what it was like being blind, as I, had that threat since the age of four. It terrified me so much I couldn’t sleep from childhood. I, used to be so afraid of the dark and ghosts. As they only come out at night time, right? I learned that no, they come out day time as well!

 

I didn’t like having black all around me. I used to put my fingers over my eyes but still I saw shadows and colours of reds and orange’s. still dark red I even closed my eyes so tight covering them with my hands that I started to see floating white lights. So, in other words, I was never really blind as a child, there was no practice, no dress rehearsal, so when the big day happened when I was thirty, my hell became reality.

 

I, can’t lie, waking up blind was 100 times scarier than what it was previous in my head. The world left me and I was so alone! I, shivered inside and out. I couldn’t cry. But it didn’t stop me from making sounds of pain and hysterical screeches. Fearful isn’t even a word that can describe how I felt. I wish as a writer I had the words to tell you just what went through my mind, soul and body at that time, But I, don’t. All I can say is it was the worse time of my life. Worse than finding out I was adopted, worse than boarding school and that was lifechanging. Worse than my very first trauma in Russia when I was six and worse than what happened to me when I was still a teenager that I have never written about but will do when I write my autobiography and even worse than losing my parents who I worshiped so close to each other in time. It was grief beyond hell, murder and agony!

 

I, had to start my life again. I had no teachers at the beginning of my new life living in the sighted world as a blind person. No lessons to go to. No internet then or books I could read. I didn’t read Braille and couldn’t read print. Doctors were then my enemy because of my travels to the USSR.  My only crutch to lean on, was my baby. He was totally oblivious of what was happening to his Mum thank goodness. Already he had adapted to having a Mum with sight loss, it just took me some time to realise that. As a tiny baby he adjusted faster than I had.

 

I will skip by the pains of opening my eyes each morning and still seeing nothing. Turning to look at my child’s face but then the kick to the stomach, no longer I could do that anymore. Those of you who are sighted, look to your child, no matter how old they are and appreciate the fact you can see their smile and joy in their eyes.

 

It’s taken me twenty years to learn to adapt to the world of no vision, but it’s no easier today than it was twenty years ago, only I’m not as afraid now. I have learned to do so much thankfully and I’m learning from my Husband who is also blind and my friends who also have no sight.

 

When I went blind my ex Husband was sighted and old Bloggets will know weeks after I went blind my parents died, so I had no one. I didn’t want to join groups where by people told me I could do anything sighted people could do. I hated those people. To me they were patronising. Lacking in understanding, though I am sure they thought they were doing their best. But they weren’t. I was grieving but the only person who died right at the beginning, was me. Though I still was walking around and breathing, though breathing was difficult for me. Shallow, shaking and short!

 

I, go through stages now days when I’m simply bored of blindness. It’s a colourless life. there are no shapes, shadows or smiles. Friendly faces or flowers in summer time. Golden leaves in Autumn, snowflakes and snowdrops or robins in winter and little lolloping lambs in Springtime! Not through the windows of my eyes anyway. But today I, have hope something I didn’t have ten years ago. But hope is taking so long. Where will I be in ten years’ time? Will I be seeing the words I’m writing on my lap top? Will I have had the honour of seeing my unborn so far grandchildren? Will I be able to shop for clothes I want, rather than what they sound like on line or what I’m told to feel and buy? Browsing the shops, something I know all of my friends who are blind dream of doing.

 

Let’s see where we all are in ten years’ time. For those of you who are losing your sight, for those of you who don’t believe you ever will and for those of you who are perfectly sighted, let’s all have hope. Technology now days has moved on so every day life is better, but I will gladly forget tech to be able to see a garden full of butterflies, birds, colourful bushes and blooms.

  

 

TERRY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

TERRY

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

She’s always there

To show some care

Though her vision is narrowing, she sees for me

One of the only ones, who takes time out

To describe or just a shout

To paint a picture in my faceless world

She’s to me, pure gold

I hope she will always be

My pet name for her, my A, E

My Angel eyes is what you are

Though you live so very far

You will forever be close to my heart

And if one day

Your sight goes away

I will be here for you

And prayers we will say

That soon there will be help for people like us

And together we can be free without a fuss

Thank you, my friend and soul sister Terry,

Who’s known to others as Mrs. Brekke

But to me whether it’s light or day

You will be my A E

You mean everything to me

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

THE WEDDING OF TIME BY FIONA CUMMMINGS

 This weekend our clocks sprung forward, for most people with my eye disease this means lighter nights. I remember those days when I dreaded dusk nights as dusk meant I couldn’t see anything other than shadows and lights. Now days, I would be grateful to see shadows and lights. But more grateful to see a sunset or the moon or, baby lambs playing in a field or even to see my face in the mirror would be for me a wonderful start and ending to my day. Start because I would have life to wake up to, and ending, to my day then I could sleep and hopefully have better dreams than what I have now where the paintbrush has run out of colour and the edge of the paper has disappeared.

 

There are a lot of things going on in life for us right now, but for my Husband his Dad is coming up 80 there will be celebrations but we won’t be there. This upsets my Husband but we are powerless. There are two or three women going there who my Husband doesn’t want to see two of which really have no right to be there but so be it. Once again, my Husband is an outsider. He’s use to it and though of course it upsets him, he will like many times before move on!  

 

I’m not sure of my Husbands future with the job he is doing. I think his job may be under threat. As will a lot of positions where he works. As always, he is worrying more about his colleagues. It’s keeping him awake by nights and by day, he’s stressed.

 

He’s a fair boss and his team are his babies. I, just hope all works out for them all. We were told we would learn last Friday, then Monday gone but now I’m hoping for tomorrow.

 

I have been searching through the jobsites trying to find work for him, my Son and myself. So, far, no luck. I have really noticed a difference, a change in job hunting now days. You have to be specialised to stand a chance. And that has changed over the past year. At one time, there would be so many jobs my Husband and Son could do. My Husband has been a manager for years climbed a high ladder and my Son has been a supervisor in two totally different environments. And still, out of 16 pages I looked at just today, not one job either of my boys could do for whatever reason!

 

I, mean, if they wanted to be a carer, yes there are loads of jobs. And no experience is not always needed certainly no qualifications. So, My Husband who has three degrees and a Masters in Business and my Son who has very good qualifications/A levels from school and college, would have less chance at getting a job at their level than what Shamrock for example would have and she has no A, levels or college experience. So, next time your children are saying they don’t want to go to University, hmm. What to say to that?

 

Personally, if my child is bookish and strong, then I would encourage them to go to Uni. If my child is intelligent but hates study, like our Son, then I would suggest them to study in a specialised subject like electrician or engineering, for example. Plumbing or anything that you see when you are looking through the job pages. If your child isn’t an A, student, then hairdressing make up or painting and decorating. I see there are two choices for our kids. One to be happy earning pennies or two, study either at University or be taught a profession. But to just go it alone with no apprenticeship or only a first from University, then it’s going to be tough.

 

There are so many jobs which require University degrees so, they will cherry pick only those who get the best results so you can go to University for years, get into so much debt and get decent marks, but not the highest, so to get a job where by your education warrants a good position, you won’t have a chance so will end up doing a job that is far inferior to your capabilities.

 

I’m so trying to talk our Son into going to college again to study something else. Even night classes trouble is, the job he’s doing he can be there till really late. University won’t suit him he’s so similar to me but his brain is healthy and requires knowledge and feeding.

 

So, back to the pages of job hunting, gone the days when you can climb the ladder in the work place unless you get a start somewhere and the boss of that place has the authority to promote you without going through red tape! I still see our Boy being a teacher, he would be so good at it but now he’s saying he wants to work with animals. He’s spent so much time of late with various animals and just loves them. Hence, I’m sure why he has gone back to being a vegetarian.

 

It’s funny I was asked the question the other day. “Fiona, why are you a vegetarian?” I, answered because I love animals to which she replied so do I, but I love meat… I just can’t get into that mind. If you love animals, how can you eat them? To me I can’t separate loving animals then enjoying the flesh of one.

 

My Son went to his girlfriend’s Mothers friend’s wedding yesterday. Gosh, what a day. It went on for 15 hours. It to me sounded more like a circus but our Son enjoyed it as much as he could. The food sounded rather unusual. It was the wedding of the daughter of a celebrity so you can imagine how much money it cost.

 

Boy Wonder said the brides dress was stunning white with sequence and her vail went as long as her dress. As for the food, sausage rolls, pork pies, a joint of meat, for the vegetarians, out of a hundred people only our Son was a vegetarian. So, he had a full vegetable strudel and peas came with the servings all in the middle of the tables in dishes for people to serve. Really odd choice of food. And he didn’t say anything about dessert.

 

 So, did my Son dance the night away? No, he tried to fall asleep hahaha. But before he did that, there was a fantastic magician and BW told me of some of the tricks as he amazed BW, obviously this was before he fell asleep. The guy asked a lady for her wedding ring she was then told to put it in a mans pocket. Then she was told to go to another man go into his pocket and pull out a tea bag. She did this. He asked her to open the teabag and inside of it was her ring…

 

There was a booth for you to get your photograph taken and a lady who did glamorous caricatures. There was an orchestra, during the day and by night time a live band with two female singers.

 

As my Son lay on a sofa, even with a blanket on top of him, hahaha, where he got that from, I didn’t dare ask. One of the celebrities came over to him to have a chat… Talking about how he was this, and is, now that and so on. My Son wasn’t overwhelmed at all and said to me he just wished he’d gone away to leave him to sleep…

 

He left this house at half eleven on the Saturday morning, and got back to Shamrocks at 2 the next morning. They had booked a mini bus for 1 am. But it was a drive and a half from home. So, yes, a long day. The most exciting thing BW loved was a cute tiny baby who kept grabbing his fingers. The baby was in a pram and BW was cooing over it. I think he is getting broody!

 

Sham wore a pretty white dress with peach flowers and BW wore his dark blue suit with a pink shirt and pink and blue tie.

All in all, it sounds a lovely day the venue was very interesting too, but after the experience of two weddings personally I prefer a wedding where it’s personal to the bride and groom, rather than wanting it to be an occasion where by people are walking around as if at a fairground and the bride and groom just happen to be there in the background.

 

I, hope the couple will be happy forever. Time will tell and as I started this blog with time, I shall end it with the time now, it’s 1 am. So, it’s goodnight from me and goodnight from them… x

 

 

SO MANY TEARS BY FIONA CUMMINGS @FionaPefi

 

SO MANY TEARS

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

The tears are burning now

Lines growing on my brow
I’m not sure what I have done wrong

Don’t know which direction to go in
Where why or how
Tears are falling
Names are calling
Searching for answers of forgotten questions
Life’s undulating pathways I’m trolling
Years which have been stolen
Shadows and reflections
Of ghosts from my past
Worrying wicked memories linger
An yet happy times don’t last
Tears I’m tired of
Just need them wiped up by love
But instead I stay in my cell
By the flames from hell
A lot of time to dwell
But no time to change
Inside my head full of rage
A new chapter, turning another page
Hoping to read words I want to hear
But stained on the paper, falls another tear

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

DIARY OF LIFE BY FIONA CUMMINGS @FionaPefi

Good day Bloggets. My Husband was very happy when he heard a lady’s voice give him good news today. My Son wasn’t too impressed at where he has gone, though I’m sure he will have a lovely time. And I’m becoming more and more disillusioned in our world.

 

We have a Russian gent in our hospital I guess isn’t a good man, with his daughter who I expect won’t be the most innocent person, though having said that, I have known some adorable Russian people who would give you their last Kopek or slice of khleb!

 

They are still alive after the worst chemical was given to them and there is a heroic Policeman in France who gave himself, his life for I’m sure a total stranger in the latest terrorist attack in the south of France. I was so sad to see today he has died. God bless him and his family. And how will that person feel now who’s life he saved? Where is the justice in the world when the above happens?

 

So, the ladies voice my Husband heard early this morning and he didn’t even have to leave our bedroom….

Our talking scales.

She announced that Hub has lost more weight he is the lightest he has been since we met. I think he’s too skinny now. He is still going though. He wants to be less. Let’s see what he will be when the Easter bunny has visited us. I hope he stays where he is now as any more weight he will be too thin. I remember his Mum saying when we first met how she was happy to see her Son looking so well… As he put on weight when we met, that’s because he got fed, where as his old life things were very different. He became too fed with me though but has done so well over the past few months and lost 2 stone, 28 lbs, 12.7 kg.

 

  My Son is at a wedding. He has gone with Shamrock and her family. He was dreading it. The person getting married is close to a stranger. It’s going to be a long day and night for him. They are driving miles away to get to the wedding. It’s the daughter of a famous celebrity in the UK. I could tell some funny stories about it but I won’t. hahahaha. Not yet any way.

 

Looking through the job sites today feeling as useless as ever. I thought I would take a look on the local Government website. They have positions for training people with quotes disabilities who can’t get work… I took a look. I don’t feel disabled and I hate the fact that I even looked at this section, but fact is, every job requires experience

No one will take me on so how can I get experience?

So back to my writing and hoping one day my bookshelves will be full of books that I have written. On the website today,

 the jobs offered to disabled people were painters and decorators, waste disposal and other very visual work or something so very easy I fear it would bore me to tears. My brain is active and my heart is willing. But my fear of failure is immense. I, do write so much and I, guess that could be considered a job but it’s not full time. Other terminology that was used was   protected placement. I, don’t need protection.  I don’t consider myself as vulnerable either an yet as blind people, we are classed as vulnerable by societies such as The RNIB and Guide Dogs. I, know of many sighted people who believe me are far more vulnerable than what I am.

 

OK, off to put the Lotto on and hope to win enough money to open my own business. Also going to prepare the dining table Hub and I are having a feast tonight, our little mouse is away, so, Hub and I will play.

Well, OK, we will eat… Food that our Son doesn’t like. Indian food. I, love it as long as it’s as mild as  baby jarred food.

 

Stay fit my Bloggets and get creative with your minds. Keep in touch and to my  latest Blogget Hatty, I will write more soon with what you were asking about. To my Dearest Louise, I shall look forward to writing in answer to your much awaited email. Hugs to you all.

 

https://m.facebook.com/www.blogspot.co.uk/

 

 

NIGHT NIGHT NAVY NIGHT BY FIONA CUMMINGS @FionaPefi

Good evening Bloggets. My Son was due home at quarter to nine tonight but it’s now after eleven and he’s still not home.

All I can say is thank goodness for mobile phones. He’s out with a couple of colleagues. Interesting ones too. One of them I could write a book on. He’s English, as English as I am. Honest just ask Siri… Or, perhaps not as Siri really struggles with my Geordie accent.

I, don’t know why?

 

Shamrock must be out tonight with her friend or possibly her family otherwise no way Boy Wonder would be with his pals. The other friend he is with used to work with BW but left. The really bad thing is, yesterday he went to see BW at work and went in the office made himself a coffee and sat putting his feet up. When the big bad boss entered, he wasn’t impressed. I kind of don’t blame him, it was a bit forward. This is the pal who always has a business venture for him and BW. So, goodness knows what will come home tonight.

 

Sitting on this sofa it’s so uncomfortable it wasn’t expensive when we got it and it has lasted five years. But we really are in need for another one. Getting to the shop to buy one is more of a challenge. But hey, if my Husband and I can take our guide dogs and design and choose a full kitchen and all the electrical goods we can pick a sofa. It’s just finding the shop among the mass of industrial estates. I hate those places and even for those who are sighted, half of my friends with vision don’t even have a clue what is among those bricks and glass buildings. I have told some friends of businesses that are there to which they didn’t have a clue of their existence. How did I learn of what was there? Haha, basically finding a door walking in and asking whilst I tried to find a paint shop!!! Did I find the paint shop in the end? Yes, but did I get assistance in choosing the colours? Nope, they said they weren’t allowed to help in case I took them to court over a colour I didn’t agree with or like, well, let me tell you, I was there a while and I don’t think they will forget me in a hurry. The thought of decorating now days adds stress to my life, and my Husbands. I, mean, to pick a colour when we both are totally blind is bad enough, but when we come across people who are like uncaring robots, it’s not helpful. I, wonder if one day they may need such help, let’s hope they don’t meet with people like themselves!

 

On Facebook this week I have excepted some really positive friends one of them is the author who rightly corrected a word I wrote wrongly the other day, I put wrested with a W, rather than rested with an R. I tried to befriend him but found his page and couldn’t find where to send for a friend request and today, there he was a request from him. I’m very excited about that.

 

I have so many authors on my friends list on Facebook one is a dear friend Nancy. She brings tears to my eyes, not sad ones but tears of joy.

 

Facebook is getting better for those of us who use screen readers or software like Jaws. It’s nice they are considering us when they plan. I, know they have had bad press of late, but in all honesty, we now live in a big brother world and my travels to the former USSR have nothing on what goes on in the West now days.

 

I have a huge passion to write books I know I can write children’s stories as well as many other subjects from romance to mystery and my autobiography will be the cherry on the top of the cake as that will be unique for sure. I just need some encouragement as I have no push. I admire those who have get up and go. I smile when I read of people who write 500 words per day, gosh, I can do that in five minutes, in this silly little blog, there are over a thousand words. This is my second blog today and I have written three poems for people,  and when I put my writing head on, not my chit chat head like what is on now, I go into another world and I can be someone else and that person is so far from myself it’s unbelievable. Lately I have read about a university course I would love to do but then I think of the job that will follow and I have my negative hat on and realise that there is no chance I would get a job and this makes me so sad. I really wish when I was young I had that push I really do.

“It’s been my life’s long ambition to become an optometrist, but I just couldn’t see a way to make it happen. Haha.””

Seriously, that would not be my choice of work.

 

The birds in my garden are telling me it’s spring, but the weather is telling me different. Did you hear of two lambs who were in a meadow? Which one frequented a Casino?

The one who’s gambolling….

 OK, that was bad I know, well I, did say this is a chit chat blog….

 

Are we ready for a really deep blog? It’s been a while since I got controversial. Possibly there will be one coming up this weekend. Remember if you have any suggestions for a blog and you are on my following list on my blog page, please let me know or through Google Plus or, you can send me an email.

visionsforfuture@googlemail.com

 

Just before I close the house for the navy night to go to sleep, I will leave you with these thoughts.

The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you learned why you were born… I’ve personally yet to learn about my second day…

 

Don’t waist your energy on your past, concentrate on your future.

I, hope I’m in your future.

Nighty night. Sleep tight.

 

 

 

 

 

  

SIMPLY THE BEST @FionaPefi

Good day Bloggets. Thank you so much for your responses to my blog yesterday. I’m honoured you read my blogs it always amazes me how many countries take time out to pop into the Fifi life, smile.

 

Last night we went to the pub quiz. Oh, we were as rubbish as ever. We certainly don’t let the team down by lack of our knowledge. The proprietor was proud to announce to us that there is no picture quiz this week.

Great, we are in for a chance. Right?

Wrong.

So, the ten questions were to name the top ten most populated cities around the world.

My Husbands last job was Head of International Development which meant that he went to so many countries I have said before the last three months he worked there, he visited twenty countries in those twelve weeks. So, he should have a rough idea on this subject, right?

Wrong!

We got 4 out of ten. They were as follows.  Shanghai, Beijing, Delhi and Tokyo. Other cities were Osaka, Mexico City Which Hub said but wasn’t written down obviously the pen holder mustn’t have agreed. Mumbai, New York and other cities I have never even heard of I’m sure the quiz master makes things up as he goes along. Haha. Bless him.

 

There were 54 questions all together I won’t embarrass myself by telling you how many the four of us got. It was our worst week by far.

 

As ever the lovely coal fire was lit it was warm and cosy and the punters were friendly, I wish it was closer to home and we could pop in one night just for the atmosphere.

 

My poor Son is working right over Easter and it looks like he is opening and or, closing every day too. That will be three weeks he has done that without a break and the boss said he only puts people on three days per week opening or, closing, yeah right, it’s a joke.

 

I do hope he finds a new job soon. I hate it when bosses are unfair and BW’s boss is a disgrace I don’t care if he is reading this right now. He’s a shambles. And he knows why too. Loose lips, yep, he knows all about that.

 

My heart goes out to France. Once again evil strikes and people have unnecessarily died. I feel for the murderers Mother if I have heard correctly as she was at the scene of the final murders, I would hope trying to change his mind. She is without her Son now and for that reason I feel for her. But the victims’ families, there are no words I expect from now on, their lives will never be the same, and what did they, do to him? The South of France is warmly in my heart as Hub, our Son and myself spent two wonderful holidays there.

 

I hope Europe and the UK are going to stay as close as we have been over the Russian incident! We belong together.

 

Now part of today’s subject, dating etiquette around the world, how it differs.

In Spain I’m told on great authority, you say hello with a kiss on each cheek. And, you don’t talk about religion or politics. Splitting the bill is the norm. different to Brazil where the gent will pick up the bill.

 

Sweden a verbal word is better than a hug or kiss especially if you are new to each other. The Swedish people, I’m told, don’t normally go for a meal on their first date but meet for a coffee or beer, I like that. Now, Russia, this is where I can clarify at least this part is true. Whoever initiated the date greets the other normally if the guy has done this he will kiss the ladies hand. If it’s him who has asked the lady out, he also pays the bill and makes sure the lady get’s home safely either by walking her back or, arranging a taxi for her. Oh, I could write a book on my experiences with a couple of Rusky Russians.

But I won’t….

Not yet any way!

 

It’s written that ASOS, is the most desirable company to work for in the UK, my Sons favourite place to shop, it’s on line for him and until recently, he has had no trouble with but for the past six weeks he has gone through hell with them and their serious lack of aftercare. They took his money, didn’t deliver the goods, removed vouchers he had and now are messing with him saying they will pay the money due but it never appears. He has emails has made countless calls to the company and is getting nowhere. If a manager in ASOS is reading this, please get your act together this is not good for business. It’s theft basically. When, if, this is resolved, I shall gladly report so. But in the meanwhile, I would urge people to be very careful with them. As I said BW had no problem with them until six weeks ago but the stress they have put on him is not good and it’s a lot of money.

 

  The BBC came second best place to work followed by Apple, JP Morgan,McKinsey and company.

HSBC, Amazon, L’Oréal, Selfridges group and a couple of banks.

Gosh, interesting. So, if I could work for any of those companies, it would have to be the BBC.

 

Now, my lovely friend and Blogget Bill lead me to a link today the top happiest countries to live in the world, so, let’s see where they are according to the United Nations.

Number one, Finland. The Nordic countries did well like Norway and Denmark.

 There isIceland, Switzerland, Netherlands   but Canada came seventh. Australia tenth The US dropped to 18^th place I couldn’t find England, oddly, Haha, strange as this is where most people end up who are wanting to move abroad, obviously we must all be miserable so and so’s!

 

Before I go I hope you have a lovely weekend. Sending hope your way, get ready to catch it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

BACK IN TIME WITH THE POOR PORKY PIG BY FIONA CUMMINGS @FionaPefi

Today’s blog, I mentioned yesterday that I put it out there on Facebook asking for a subject today and my school buddy was straight in there with a suggestion, so, her topic coming up! But first, I have to tell you about a restaurant mine and Hubs friend went to, to celebrate his significant birthday.

   get this for a name.

The Lusty wench

 Haha. Isn’t that the best?

 

So, subject today, it would be interesting to talk about how we would all feel going back in time to our school days.

 

Well if I knew I had stepped back in time, obviously knowing what I learned and what I know now, I am sure I would have been a lot stronger at school and not allow some of the evil staff to do what they did. Of course, I would have been expelled, and probably sent to a school for badly behaved children. That is what happened to my friend from school, she was so clever, and was expelled for something so small. Her education was suffocated by what was to follow. Sadly, for her, she went down a loveless, lawless lane and her life for sure was ruled by her former school’s decision. Having said that, because of visiting Russia and London hospitals as much, my education certainly was badly effected, and has subsequently affected the path I chose or, was chosen for me.

  

Imagine you and your school pals now, you can all go back in time. You will be those children again but A, you all know of your futures and you are there because you have stepped back in time. The other kids don’t know about the time situation, as far as they are concerned it’s normal every day they are still at school, they haven’t grown up like we did. The staff are oblivious to what’s going on. What would you do and what would you change? Oh, I would love that time…. But if, B, we could go back in time but once there, our minds were wiped clean of any future going ons, I would hate that because we would be like the above other school friends, who were oblivious to everything so would just have to go through everything all over again, and I wouldn’t wish that on me or my pals.

 

My Husband wants to visit our first school so badly. I really don’t. It’s not a school anymore it’s other buildings and for me there are too many ghosts from my past and skeletons that need to be kept in the closet.

 

So, to conclude, would I wish for my life all over again with exactly the same occurrences and outcome? No, what would be the point. Would I like to live my life again knowing what I know now? No. I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone. Would I like to go back to being a tiny child with the head, brain and mind of the age I am now, so I would have more influence on my path of life? Yes, I think so, as I would have had so much more to say and I would be someone by now. Not just that blind woman or BW’s Mum or the wife of, or, that fat lass down the street. Haha.

  

Will I grow old wishing if only? A little part of me will. It does, but nothing I could have done with the mindset I had would have made my life easier or better. A different outlook perhaps. But I didn’t have a different outlook, so I did the best I could with what I had.

 

As for my future? There are days when I really hope my life will change. I adore my Husband and he and I are together forever I pray. I worship my Son and I hope he will marry a good lady and I look forward to having Grandbabies. I of course will worry in case the children will be cursed with my eye disease, but the curse isn’t what it was for me, at least there is hope for our future generations with new research. Real people are starting to get treatments now. for my type of RP? Who knows, because who knows what kind of or, strength of RP I have? Four years now I have been trying to find that answer and failed.

 

There are so many different kinds of Retinitis Pigmentosa.

Knowing my luck, I will have the kind that isn’t being researched… But then I have days when I think no one could go through the life I have gone through and die without the sun shining, even for a couple of years? And I dream of the days when I see enough to go on holiday with my Husband. To be free of restrains and not to be excoriated by words inside of my head. To witness once again resplendent lakes and icicles, as well as gardens abundant in colours of all kinds of blooms!  

   

To be able to visit others who are not as fortunate as myself and make a difference in their lives! Who knows in five years’ time, I may be seeing the words I’m writing to you rather than listening to a little man inside of my lap top. Gosh, I’m almost forgetting what letters look like now, I really need to spend time keeping that part of my memory alive. Colours are slipping from my mind at great speed. Not being helped by the fact all these new words for colours, colours which I am sure have been around forever but had more simple descriptions when I had sight.

 

Hub is in Manchester today working. So over two and a half hours in transit each way.

But tomorrow he is on holiday for two weeks. I think our besties are coming to visit us next week. That will be lovely. I was just saying to my other friend today I miss her so much and wished she lived closer. One day it would be great to live so close to all of my pals. In a community. Haha. Oh, goodness, if you knew us all, that would be one heck of a community.

 

Received a lovely phone call from the sweetest friend today, gosh, bless her heart, she is going through hell right now. I just wish I could help her. I love her and going back to school days, if I had to go through what I went through at school, just to meet with her, it was worth it.

 

I’m cooking a poor part of a pig for Hubs dinner. Well, dinners as it’s huge. I ordered it on line, em, well, it’s kind of family size. Hub tells me off saying I never check sizes of things…. And?

Seriously this pork would serve eleven hungry builders!

 

I’m a vegetarian as you may know. So, how long do you cook a joint of Pork for? Good question… hahahaha. I don’t do many joints it’s just too close to reminding me what my Husband is actually going to eat. I must say though, forgetting for a few seconds what it actually is, it smells rather lovely. I removed foil for half an hour and let it go crispy on the top. I forked holes into it with black pepper herbs and garlic as well as some celery salt. Is that sounding OK? Oh, I’m totally hopeless but so far, I haven’t ever managed to poison anyone. I’m surprised I have any skin on my hands though the amount of times I washed my hands today whilst preparing the meat. I’m paranoid when cooking.

 

I guess I should go and iron. I also have some poems to write for people. A poem for a wedding, one Christening and one just because she knows I will. Smile. Subject of that poem? She doesn’t mind. Anything, and it’s not like it’s for an occasion either. So, where to begin on that one.

 

A big shout to my Sister in Law today, your words today were gratefully received appreciated and found themselves inside of my heart.

Later gators.