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Wednesday, 16 July 2014

THE OCEANA PART 3


First port of call, Old Stavanger.

So there must be a new one right? Hmm. Not sure but the old one was lovely.  A neighbourhood of old wooden houses dated from the 18th century and all the cottages are painted white and often decorated with flowers. They are all resident so you can’t look inside, but people frequent them les now days as only used for water sports, skiing and day trips, as we are too used to our comforts, there is no electricity in the houses or running water. That’s outside as is the bucket like toilet…. Sounds like the old Datchers I used to visit in Russia. Quaint and full of family feeling, but in Russia now, the rich have turned their little houses into palaces and I bet they don’t have the same feel?

Best for First-Timers: The three-hour Lysefjord and Pulpit Rock Cruise takes you into a scenic fjord too small for our cruise ship to navigate. View countryside, high cliffs and gorgeous waterfalls as you head to the towering Pulpit Rock. On the way back, you'll stop for coffee, tea and waffles at the Lysefjord Centre. This would have been lovely, but we didn’t want to ask our Son to do too much and had booked one tour before we left England. That was at our next port of call. So we just took a walk along the waterfront, sat on the decking and watched the peaceful world go by. The fresh air was amazing. If there could be a smell called purity, it would be Norway. Everyone was so calm. Happy and respectable. No one shouted, it was just a pleasure to be among humans who could act in a correct manner. It restored my faith in the horrible humans we are becoming. Teen made me smile as he said he could spot the Norwegians from a mile away. Why? The way the dressed and their jaw line. Hahahaha. A true pure race I guess, whereas England is a huge mixing bowl with lots of ingredients in. Do you know in London now, one in three people are immigrants? I was watching a program last night and this fact shocked me. If I was to guess that answer I would have said about one in twelve. Anyway, I digress. On with Stavenger. As teen watched the massive jellyfish in the sea, the sun covered us with delight. The trees whispered fairy tales and I was taken off to a land of calmness. I wanted to stay there forever. My shoulders relaxed, my pain in my heart that I have had for so long now it’s become normal, just left my body. Wow, what was this medicine? How could I bottle it? Let me lay on a pillow of silk and be the mermaid of Stavanger!

Back to the tour book. Best for Repeat Visitors: For something a bit different, choose the three-hour Utstein Monastery and Music Recital tour. Travel by coach through an underwater tunnel to the 13th-century Utstein Monastery, located on an island. After a tour of this well-preserved medieval monastery and its cloisters, you can enjoy a music recital and refreshments before heading back to Stavanger.

 Sadly we had to head back. We had one hour of wonder. But I was so afraid my boy would be bored and I knew the gym would be calling for him. Also we wanted to book a massage for him. So onto the ship we went.

 Of course I thought some more food was in order too? And a cool drink please? First to the spa. There was a pretty young girl on their funny enough she shared the same name as the Olga we know from Russia, well, teen thought she was from Spain, but with that name? Oh my word, she ate him up. I mean, this is truly a new generation. Girls just don’t care…. No shame… I bet teen was red with blushing, it was so funny. She was on reception and Hub joked with teen that she’s a receptionist today, but she will be up all night taking that course to be a masseur. His massage was for the next day.

 

£91 lighter, we left the spa and headed for lunch. Well, once again, for vegetarians, it was really poor the choice of food, but whilst Hub tucked into his dressed crab and veal, Teen chicken salad and steak, me?  Em…. For starter I had tomato soup, that had never seen a tomato. As for my choice for my main? “Egg and spinnage”

Say what?

 

Fruit salad for dessert and then cheese, four small pieces and a lovely coffee. Most days apart from the last night, I lived on potatoes. There was no imagination at all went into the vegetarian food. It was simply disappointing. For some reason, I imagined swans made from ice on the table, plates with flowers on and presented so beautifully, but none of that. Hub said how it had changed since he last cruised. I mean, if you eat meat, its fine. He loved his food, as did our Son. The boys as specially Hub got a little tense with me saying I was awkward but the fact is, we went for afternoon tea one day, for meat eaters, there was ham, turkey, crab or salmon. For me?  Now wait for this one….

Coleslaw.

Yep, a coleslaw sandwich. Thankfully there was a crumpet and a toasted tea cake, so I didn’t starve, you can’t starve on a cruise, and there is around the clock food. Another day I had five bean soups…. Let me tell you it was identical to the tomato soup… But it had a couple and I mean a couple of beans floating around the bottom. Hahahaha. Hub had that choice that day and couldn’t eat it. It was so much the same soup as the tomato, even tasted sour the same. For breakfasts, there were no vegetarian options, unless you ate eggs. I don’t at home, but did on holiday. I really didn’t enjoy them though, but never made a fuss. Teen used to ask why my plate was still with food on it, then that started Hub off but I was quite happy knowing they were enjoying their food. But Hub hates the fact that I’m not. Well, the good news was I wasn’t going to put as much weight on as I thought I may?

 

Next day Flam

 

Oh this was our tour day. First we looked in the gift shop. Oh my word. There was absolutely nothing there. I mean a plain white egg cup? Say what? And clothes from your Grandmothers bottom draw. Oh and something that turned my stomach but Hub found it wonderful, was a fully skinned poor wolf. Oh when teen told us he thought from a distance it was a sheepskin, I went to touch it, to see how soft it was. It was horrible. So cores. The fur was like bristles and it even had its poor paws and ears on. Oh really who would buy that?

My Hub? Em, no. Not happening. It almost felt like our dear Longchops back in the UK.

 

Oh you should have seen Hubs huu’uuge smile? From ear to ear.

Out of there and onto the Flam train ride. A two hour journey, up into the Fjords. £186 for the three of us. I’t only twelve miles too, but takes a while as there are stops and people getting on and off also you have a five minute stop at a humungous waterfall. So this train journey doesn’t really appeal to us, but I wanted teen to see more than the water front without having to guide us. He said it was beautiful, spectacular too. I kind of knew this as this is what the information said that I read before leaving the UK.

Surrounded by steep mountainsides, roaring waterfalls and deep valleys, Flåm is a paradise for everyone looking for a one-of-a-kind experience with nature.

Take a train ride to see the water falls, or an inflatable boat. It is a small village with goats.

 I had read about the mysterious lady who comes out at the waterfall and sings and dances, and there was an announcement on the train telling us in three languages about her, saying that the men of the village used to be under her spell and have been known to be taken away by her. I joked with teen saying he would be best to hang on to me so she couldn’t do this? He laughed I’m sure thinking oh its Mum and her silly stories again. Well, the train stopped, we got off followed by a group of Japanese ladies who stood behind us, not good considering Teen is six foot two, I’m five foot nine and Hub is five eleven. They were so tiny bless them I felt bad it’s not like we could see what was going on, but I guess there was room if they wanted to get closer? The water from the enormous waterfall, splashed us it was the Norwegian angel, kissing us. Pure again and refreshing on this boiling hot day. Then it happened. She came out. The music was very eerie, Teen said she wore a red dress, had blonde hair and was very pretty. She danced and the Japanese ladies went crazy. They screamed and were so cute with the way they responded to the beauty before us.

 

Back onto the train and back down the steep hill. The man opposite us told his wife there was a snow ledge on the side of the track. For the winter so the trains were not bothered by falling snow. I’m sure what they saw from the window was amazing; teen for sure said it was.

 

The entertainment that night was fantastic. A comedian. Oh he had us crying with laughter, something you just don’t get now days. He was brilliant and teen too was laughing. Cocktails, well, one after the show, and back to our comfortable bed. It was like being a child again, teen in the top bunk. He was so funny too, my Son showed some humour I haven’t seen for so long and this gave me a peaceful night.

 

Each and every morning, Teen woke up. He opened the curtains from his bunk and said. “Wow. A new port, but the beauty must have been different? Eidfjord was our next port of call. We didn’t sadly get off on this day but this is what the information said about the place

Eidfjord offers a unique natural environment. With large contrasts and short distances you can experience most of what Norway has to offer – and also the best! Large open spaces and towering mountains. Deep valleys and blue-green fjords. Glaciers, mountain lakes, rivers and waterfalls. Our visitors can experience peace and silence in the natural environment in addition to visiting many of our activities and attractions. Eidfjord is the gateway to the Hardangervidda, the largest high mountain plateau in Europe and Norway’s largest national park. Eidfjord opened a new cruise port in 2005 and is able to handle ships up to 350 m in length. Fjord, mountain & waterfalls – all within a 30 minute drive from Eidfjord.

Teen said this was the most beautiful of all. From the ships view. Again the air was amazing, my nails were so shiny soft and I felt so free. The weather was red hot but because we were near the sea, not horribly hot.

Teen had his massage and the best thing about it, was it was Olga who gave it to him. Hahaha, we did laugh about this. As I am sure the day before she was on reception, but obviously not, but a good joke. Teen had an hour and loved it. I’m glad, as I really don’t like someone else touching my body, Hub loves them and obviously so does my boy. So we booked him one more for our last day on our cruise. This time a much cheaper one. An Indian head massage, again he loved that. He came back just so relaxed from it. I was so happy for him. I felt bad Hub didn’t have one and I know why he didn’t, because of the money. Shame he does for others but never for himself.

 

Kristiansand, was our last port of call. Oh my God why? If you can avoid this place it would be a good idea. OK, if you take a tour then different but having said that, everyone we spoke to was not really over enthusiastic about the tours that day. It is a smelly port. Industrial. You can pay £15 per person to go on an open train two miles into the town and to the beach. That will get you back too, but for that much for two miles? I would hope it would get me half way back to England?hahhaha.

 

So a very quick, I’m talking fifteen minutes off the ship. Again, we could have walked into the town, but again, not wanting to bother Teen so in the end, it was just a busy city and I was so relaxed. This holiday was for sure the most relaxing I have ever had. Why?

1, because of the normal things you get on holidays, no housework or cooking, but on a cruise you don’t even have to search streets for a restaurant it’s just there, even if you go fully inclusive, you still have to hope that there is a space? On a cruise, you will always find a seat in one of the restaurants.

2, the fresh air. No pollution on most of the cruise.

3, you are in the middle of the ocean, I thought this would scare me, but it didn’t. I just didn’t think about it. Only when Hub kept teasing me telling me how deep the water was and how far we were from land, but I just ignored him… No one can hurt you, you feel so safe. Where ever my Son was, I could sit on the deck with my Husband and I knew he was fine, he had met a lovely person called Sash and is so chatty, it was good for him to be about on his own.

4, going back to no pollution and safety, there are no roads obviously, so no need to worry about cars/traffic. On holiday, you venture out, and the traffic is so dangerous. Even when we did a little walkabout, the few cars were so slow. Also very few if any in most places, no steps…

And 5, there is, something magical about a cruise. Would I do it again? Hmm……….

 

Tomorrow, our journey back home and what happened with our dogs. X

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