It’s another start to another week. I have had workmen in
all week, so been busy. Saturday we had a street BBQ and today I’m out with my
neighbour who has her 50th birthday tea. There are about six of us
going so should be nice. I can’t get out to get her a card, so will have to
give her one out from my box set I bought. I hate this. A card shop is not
where we know how to get to and if we bought one from the local shop, it will
be one like other people have bought as one person works there and it’s easy for
others to get to. The ones in our town are impossible to find. I kind of hinted
to my Son to get one for me but he told us to learn the route ourselves. This
is one of the harsh facts of reality of being blind. We have had someone of
late telling us how messy our garden is with weeds, well, that’s kind, if you
feel strong enough to comment on that, are you not strong enough to dig them
out? Obviously not. I wanted a garden party for our friend from Russia this
weekend, a couple of months ago I told my friend Di I was going to have one.
But that is a good job it didn’t happen as they would think they were in a
jungle. I’m being slightly over the top; it’s not as bad as the person who told
us it was a mess said. Really, I have seen so much worse from people with
sight. But because we can’t see, of course this is why our garden is messy.
Well that is what they will say.
My friend from Russia went to a castle with her family for
her birthday. She was in England for her first birthday in the 25 years we have
known each other, but us or a castle? I bet you can guess who won? They have
had a lovely weekend for it. The weather is stunning.
Oh my black shelves I got done last year? Well, my painter
yesterday told me they were not black, but mahogany. I am furious. I told the
joiner I wanted them black, like the piano... I’m really fed up with this dam
blindness I’m living with. If only I could see even a bit, how easy our lives
would be? I’m fed up with workmen taking a blend of us. Oh we can’t see, so we
will obviously only want half a job done. This is their attitude. I’m also fed
up with people I thought I could trust letting me down. At the end of the day,
I can only trust myself and this is the way I will be forever.
OK, grump over. Not had a good week. Just when the workmen
finished on Friday, they left the house in one hell of a state. Knowing we
can’t see, they could have at least tried to clean the bits of metal up and
grit? I mean dust I can deal with. The rest I had to deal with. Cups of tea
left on our landing floor. Why can’t they bring them to the sink? I only found
them because when I was hoovering, I knocked them over. Good job they were
empty.
I will never forget the weekend I spent in Norway last year
with my Husbands job. It was amazing and if I were a millionaire, I would live
like this. We were in a forest in a centre that was so lovely, clean and
comfortable. We were surrounded by blind representatives from all over Europe.
They were highly intelligent people too and the staff were sighted, but paid to
make sure we wanted for nothing. We had freedom they were amazing, they didn’t
look at us as though we were freaks or go silent as we entered the room. It was
the only normal weekend I have ever had in my life. We were all one and away
from the big bad world in this magnificent forest of beauty with animals and
unspoiled nature, but had luxury too.
Some people say blindness or going blind is not a death sentence,
well, is it not? How many people commit suicide?
How many feel like doing so? Just today I banged my head as
I bent down to pick something from the floor. I banged it on our kitchen
worktops. I walked into a half opened door taking tea to the lads. I couldn’t
find my other shoe to let the dogs out. Oh this is just this morning. I know
these are not huge issues, but they do wear you down. Not being able to buy
things when we need them and when we do things around the house, everything
takes so long. I have a bruise on my leg as I had to go into our garage and
there is stuff everywhere. I have a cut on my face from an overhanging rose and
cuts to my fingers from the thorns too. This is from yesterday and this
morning. I’m anxious about the hospital again on Friday. I’m off on my own and
hate it. OK, it’s hot it’s Monday and I really mean it now, my grump is really
over.
I am writing a great novel. I can’t publish this one on
here, but when it gets published for real, in a book, all grown up and so on, I
shall let you know about it. Let’s just say its different and a true story but
not about me.
My Son just made me a cup of tea. I have to eat with these tablets
I am taking, for the fluid in my eye. It’s no different after a month. But I am
getting all the side effects. Oh my God. The best thing in the world is, I was
told I wouldn’t as only the elderly would get the symptoms. Haha. What does that tell me?
OK food time and start to clean the dust from my
conservatory. The boys are cooking for themselves tonight. I’m eating out, so
day off. I shall have to try to stop myself from making anything, though I
think I will cook the chicken. What they do with it is up to teen as he will be
head cheff. I’m out at tea time with the ladies. We won’t be ladies who do
lunch, but ladies who do not so light tea. X
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