DREAMS DO COME TRUE

DREAMS DO COME TRUE BY FIONA CUMMINGS I have dreamed of him, almost all of my life In my slumber, I would be his wife But in reality, I didn’t stand a chance He had a family, no room for a new romance I learned through a friend, his world was pretend His laughter during the day, by night would end He prayed his pain would go away, but his kindness he had to lend His wife was a taker, he was a lamb to the slaughter He needed setting free, released from his jailor Who would do that? Would it be me? What did I have to offer him but my heart? But he knew that from the start What could I give him other than my life? A peaceful way of living, I would keep giving But how could I get him to believe in me I could set him free If only he would come to me Where would I start, other than words from my heart Love in his life, for the first time ever A promise he would find light, in his world without colour If we only live once, then allow choice Look to the stars, and rejoice Follow the rainbow and find that pot of gold Metaphorically of course As you can’t buy love, it can’t be forced He needed to put his trust in me To turn away from poison he called family Was I ready to take on this challenge? To except the revenge To fight for, to defend To pull towards me something that was tenacious To open his heart to life full of tenderness To wipe his mind of words so verminous To show him he could be courageous I would have to be strong As I believe he and I belong as one Two halves that were parted In another lifetime Broken hearted But now was our time If you believe in something strong enough Go for it, never give up © Fiona Cummings

WALKING IN THE DARKNESS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

What is it like to go for a walk in the countryside when you are blind? Well, for me, it’s like this.

 

If it is a new place, I do worry in case where we will walk will be undulated or flat, if hilly, will there be pot holes or ditches? Because I can find the smallest crack in the ground, almost even if the path or road is just thinking about cracking, I find it and hurt.

 

Well yesterday we went to a beautiful part of the countryside, I’m told and by description of a sighted lovely we went with, I was able to imagine. The cottages are in some cases over six hundred years old. There gothic arched windows smile out at the cobbled streets. Cobbles from days when horses had to grip onto the roads whilst they transported people in carriages. They have blue slate roofs and open fires inside.  We went past the castle and that to me meant nothing as I wouldn’t have a clue what it looked like. We heard the sounds of the waterfall. A photograph was taking of us and one of the waterfalls where my friend commented she loved the ornate bridge. I wasn’t even aware there was a bridge until she said. And I adore bridges. Why? Not really sure it’s just something I have loved since I was very young.

 

We walked up a hill that Jack and Jill would be proud of.

 

I didn’t reach the part where I felt as if I was going to die on the spot. Thank God for my treadmill for that. Oh, and an extra puff on my inhaler before leaving that morning.

 

Our sighted friend told us there was a red kite as in the bird of pray above us. I couldn’t even imagine that as when I had sight, I never saw one. There were colourful farmers crop fields all around us. Tall trees that I am sure could tell me many stories about the past. If only trees could speak the same language as me?

 

Colourful fields? I saw different shades in my minds eye, but they were shades as I really am forgetting pale colours. So, they were just squares of different greys. Not pretty.

 

The air was fresh. No floral smells though. Because of earlier rain, the soil left a fragrance of earth. I love that smell. There were a few footsteps coming towards us, peoples voices saying hello. Very friendly people mainly walking their dogs who were of course interested in our four legged fur balls.

 

As we stopped to not step on their let loose dogs, I stupidly looked down and smiled. Oh yes, of course I still can see.

Not.

So, why do I do that acting sighted thing? Should I look straight ahead? No, I have to try to look as they do, and look at something I can’t see. That is a bad habit I have.

 

Am I ashamed of not being able to see? No, not at all. I used to be, but now I’m proud of what I can do and what I have achieved being blind.

 

I titled this blog as walking in the dark, but guess what? it’s not dark for me. Or Hub. For Hub it’s nothing like looking from his elbow. What do you see from your elbow? Black? No, nothing that is what he doesn’t see. As for me, well I have a varied blindness of grey, white dark red or brown with the odd times of black spots on top of greyness. But no shadows or difference between day and night. Sometimes at midnight outside I see white sheets in front of me as if there is a light on. Then during the day when it’s sunny, I see dark red as if the curtains are closed, but I wouldn’t say I walk in the darkness. So, why did I title my blog as that? Not sure but my old readers will know I don’t think of my titles, I write the first thing that comes to my mind. And leave it as that and that way, it’s my spirit writing and my spirit is the writer in me, not my mind or my shell.

 

Before I go off on one and talk about spirit, I will continue with my walk.

 

I could smell roses but that was my friends’ perfume. I imagined the long grass to my right and the crops. The tall varied trees but not sure I see a tree like you who are with sight would. I see a tree like I could when I had sight. And that sight was limited.

 

 Slowly I am forgetting what certain things look like, but a basic tree I don’t think I will ever forget.

 

My friend took a pic of the trees forming an arch with the golden sun shining through the branches. She said it was beautiful. In the distance there was purple heather I think but again, I was told this in words, I have never seen heather but I have seen purple and that is a colour I don’t think I will ever forget. It seems to be the pastel colours I am forgetting.

 

In the vast water fall, there were two ducks swimming. I thought they were brave. I was told the waterfall was in steps that was why it was making that sound. So perhaps it sounded more aggressive than it actually was.

 

My walk was ended with a delicious rum and raison ice cream. Sitting in the village green with lots of happy chatting people all around. Not too close though. Again, if you had sight, you could eat a tasty ice, or sip on a freshly made coffee and enjoy people watching, but we can’t watch, we can only hear and sometimes we capture more than those with us who have sight. But still I would swap my vision or lack of it any day to be able to see what those with sight see.

 

But I am grateful to have been able to get out for some hours. Exhausted by night and made more memories with my love and our dogs.

 

 

DIARY OF THE PAST THAT CAN'T LET GO BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Hi Bloggets, how are you all doing? I hope you are well and safe from modern day nasties. Our world is dying but we can hope to live by changing our lives. Our beautiful garden song has left who knows for the season, or, to get away from the pollution as people now are back at work and forgetting they have legs, so, more cars are on our roads. For those who are not back at work, who are stressed and worried about your future, I really hope something will happen today or this next few day to show you a new path you can take for employment. But I know that is so difficult, again, we can hope, without hope, what do we have left?

 

Thank you for your emails asking why I am not writing as much partly because I am busy sorting out life and partly because I know that nightmares from our past are reading this and I don’t want them to know our business. In fact, I wish they would just be happy with their own life and have a life of interest of their own, but sadly they are totally obsessed in our life, sad little people. Most of my Bloggets know where you can read more from our days and it’s where the horrors don’t know.

 

Last night before bed, I decided to hurry on my way around the house well, downstairs, and vacuum the floors, after cleaning the kitchen work tops and emptying the dishwasher. Then I put some cleaning cloths on a short wash but after fifteen minutes of my washing machine been on, I noticed my dryer was on, but then my dog asked for a drink, oh, yes, she can talk you know? Haha. I put some water in her dish, and as you do find another job to do. Empty the bin. This was at about half eleven at night. I remembered, turn off dryer. I did. Then I tidied the sitting room, then realised the washing machine was finished so, went to remove the wet cloths. Oh. No. gosh. Heck.

Swoosh.

Well earlier I hadn’t turned off the dryer, but the washing machine and when it has been turned off for a while, you can open the door. No matter if there is still water in there. Hahahaha let’s say my kitchen floor got one heck of a wash.

So, did I.

You know that sound, when there is nothing you can do, so you just stand there and let it happen as you are in shock?

 

I was walking along the beach the other day when our friend said there was a nudist laying with his bum in the air his front in the sand…. It was a freezing cold day too. I was shocked and disgusted as small children were playing around there. I was willing my dog to go and pee on him. But wouldn’t it be funny if just Hub and I were walking along there and suddenly fell over him? Hahaha. Landing on top of him, he would be sorry he was on his front not watching people. Mind you, I would be glad he was on his front too.

Oh, gosh!!!

 

My dear friend was telling me a funny story yesterday. She is partially sighted and, on her walk, she heard something in a garden, she stopped to listen but couldn’t identify the sound. She decided to take a closer look when she bent over to see what it was, she was squirted by a garden sprinkler. Hahaha. That was the sound. She returned home rather wet, but it cooled her down as where she lives is boiling right now.

 

Obviously, she lives abroad, as here in England it’s not been nice weather for July.  I want to move to Italy but Hub wants to live in the south of France. Both places are beautiful. But I love the Italian people and food, having said that when we visited the South of France, everyone was so sweet there too, but I think Italian people have the edge.  If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? For our Son I think it would be America, La.

 

For people like Hub and I it’s still awful for getting out in England. Because of social distancing, it’s hard when you can’t see and of course as amazing as our guide dogs are, they don’t get social distancing and when we go to shops, we can’t get assistance to find food and I have noticed on line groceries now are starting to charge a fortune for delivery. Shocking as one group of people during this time who have done well, are shops owners, well large food shops. An yet greed has caught up with them.

 

We have to all wear masks now in shops so this means people are not obeying social distancing, well members of public, but shop keepers are, and it’s them who we need to assist us.

 A couple of weeks ago Hub and I went to see our kids, our Son and his girlfriend Shamrock, and of course their new addition. Oh, Hub and I are in love with our new baby boy. We are proud Grandpawwents.

It was a great time; they have a beautiful warm welcoming house that is so homely. Sham cooked us dinner and it was lovely. In fact, I can say it was the best evening we have had this year. It’s the first time we have been able to spend quality time at their new house, since February.

 

For those who live in the UK, and are either a vegetarian or are wanting to eat a healthier way, in other words, not slaughtered pig, I have discovered the most delicious sausages. Even Hub who is a meat eater has told me to not ever buy pork sausages again but only these kinds. I never thought I would see the day when he gave up his English Irish, German or whatever kind of sausages. Even if it’s for curiosity, please give them a try? I cook them in the oven for twenty minutes with a little olive oil on top. Oh my, the flavour and texture is stunning. I get them from Tesco and they are called Richmond meat free sausages and I believe you can buy them in most stores. They are high in protein. And are 57 calories per sausage. Oh my, they are the best meat free food I have ever tasted in my 23 years of being a full time vegetarian.

 

Here in England, at Stonehenge, a prehistoric monument in Warwickshire has had some interesting news from archaeologists. Stonehenge is a circle of stones each around 13 feet high seven feet wide and weighs 25 tonnes.

 

The blue stones came from Wales but other stones have been a mystery until recently. Now they are saying they come from fifteen hundred miles away in England, but, how on earth did they get there? They say that the builders also came from the same place. Can you imagine in prehistoric times, how long it would take to travel 1500 miles? 2400 kilometres. Moreover, who contacted the builders??? I mean, before internet, advertising and telephones. And in the given transport they had in those days, who would travel that far? And who would want to build such a construction? I mean, why? Oh, it’s all a bit odd to me, and of course I always go back to thinking of aliens…

 

Other news China are again threatening the UK with their evil tongue. How dare China say anything to any country after what they have done to the world this year? Their Government and party have a cheek, I hope the whole world wake up to China. I feel sorry for the normal people who suffer their ways.

 

Now for some facts. In Switzerland, it’s illegal to own just one guinea pig…

A flock of crows, is known as a murder.

Oh, this is funny. 7% of Americans believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. Hahahaha.

That doesn’t sound a lot, but that works out to be around 16.4 million American people…

Kangaroos wouldn’t be able to hop in fact they would fall over if you lifted up their tails. They use their tails for balance.

Not sure who did that study? And why?

Billy goats urinate on their own heads, to smell more attractive to females.  Have they not heard of Maui moisture revive and hydrate shea butter shampoo?

I guess that is more difficult for a goat to write that on their shopping list, far better off writing, wee…

 

And finally, Polar bears can eat up to 86 penguins in one setting

Not sure how this was learned as Polar live at the other end of the earth to penguins.

Unless they are talking about the chocolate biscuit?

 

Well on that note, I shall go for now. keep your hands clean. Wipe your phones and lap tops and talk soon. X

 

 

   

DIARY OF SMELLING THE HEAT BY FIONA CUMMINGS

How are you all my Dear Bloggets. All okay here. Hub still working from home. Thankfully life is starting to get a little less crazy for him and he is managing to finish work about 5/6 pm but still has early starts of 8 a m. I don’t mind at all as he is home every single day and night. A very happy wife. But it’s surprising how many of my friends are fed up of their husbands working from home… or in some cases, their husbands are out of work and are bored out of their brains. Especially a few weeks ago when we really couldn’t go anywhere. As a person who is blind.  We still can’t really go anywhere without sighted guides. With the social distance thing going on. People with vision are so lucky all they need to do is open their eyes and walk or drive. At least they get a change of scenery. Different air. See other humans.

 

Our boy wonder is working from his office now. Sham is still working from home. Thank God so far, they both still have jobs. Six days before they get their puppy. He is a black German Shephard with white on his chest and ginger eyebrows. Haha. Bless him. Of course, his Grandparents have bought him gifts already.

 

Two of my closest friends have grown up children and they too have kids who have bought puppies of late. So, the three of us all have Grand puppies now. all around the same time.

 

My wrists and elbows are hurting. Why? Nothing to do with my wonderful treadmill that arrived last week, but I bought myself lockdown bands. You know, those rubber pully things? Oh, my Lord. Firstly, I am a little afraid of using them too much as I don’t want to end up with arms like Arnold Schwarzenegger! How to tone without grown?

 

I tell you though I feel like I have been punched in the arms. Even when I am typing. I scared myself a few weeks ago I was cleaning the tops of my units in the kitchen and the pain in my arms was awful. It was as if I was painting a ceiling. I don’t want to lose the ability to do things with my arms so, bands I bought. My Son showed me how to use them but remember he has arms like an oak tree from Queen Ann days.

 

I have just finished listening to a book on kindle on my iPhone. Oh gosh it was so easy to use. The book wasn’t mentally stimulating I guess some would call it a chick read. It was called “Take A Chance on Me!””

 

Well as the month of July has shown the ducks they need not worry about water, and the baby birds have had to gather feathers to keep them warm, I am hopeful that August will be a warmer month. We either have the worst winds causing damage, loads of rain causing floods or a heatwave.

Causing me to burn.

Oh, my word, let me tell you about last night. I know I shouldn’t and it shows you just how uncool I really am, but I lit a candle. Hmm. My Mum would turn in her grave, if she had one. She was terrified I would burn myself. Strange she wasn’t worried about me getting knocked over by cars, just burning myself. Well as this candle lit, how do I know? Put my hand over the top and feel the heat, sometimes I can hear the flame. Last night Hub and I were sitting watching TV. I turned to him to tell him I was a little disappointed that our candle didn’t smell of strawberries, in fact the small candle didn’t smell of anything. I picked it up in its little glass jar and took a sniff. Nothing. So, a huge inhale. I reminded myself of a blooming druggy snorting something illegal. Suddenly I was aware that I had sniffed so hard, that the flame went up my right nostril.

Oh my God, it hurt. Well Hub couldn’t stop laughing. He didn’t run to my rescue or get a bucket of water to put me out, he just laughed. I swear it’s changed the shape of my nostril.

 

Little Sham thought it was hilarious when I told her over whatsAp. I get so much sympathy from my loved ones…

 

In all of my candle lighting, I have never done that before.

 

Well congratulations to Tori for her graduation in the US and for all of you who too have qualified.

 

Laters Gators.

 

 

 

JUST ANOTHER DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Gosh I have just had my last brunch where I hope to be feeling quite so, full as from tomorrow, I am going to try to eat well again as in less and more healthy food rather than my diet of bread. I started off really well at the turn of the year, well in fact until lockdown then I felt a strange sensation that I needed to eat to keep well, and ate I did.

 

Tomorrow I will get my new treadmill. At last. I am super excited. Please God, let it be accessible? As in no flat screen. I hope to be able to feel something like a button or at least a risen section. Hopefully our Son will put it together for me after work tomorrow night.

 

Talking of our Boy Wonder, he took our Waggatail a couple of nights ago to his and Shamrocks house to stay overnight. For a sleep over, haha. Only thing is, he also promised his neighbour that he would look after her dog too. But not overnight.  It was a full-on following day for him for sure. But he did his neighbour a favour as all of his neighbours are so close and have a great friendship which is amazing especially for a brand-new estate.

 

Only a couple of weeks then our boy will be the proud owner of a puppy Shephard. I can’t wait to meet him. Talking of dogs, I got the call from Guide Dogs today hinting when things get back to normal, my GDI is going to call out to put my Waggatail on the retirement list. Oh no, I totally dread that day. Though the guy is so lovely, I hate that day when the harness is removed from us. It’s sad and Heartbreaking. But I will not give her up. She and The Little Fella will stay with us until the day they leave this earth. Hopefully because there isn’t a lot of hard work to do here for Waggs, she will be able to work a little longer as she is still fit and healthy.

 

I have been reading a lot of news about treatments for Retinitis Pigmentosa and there is some good news out there. I shall share some links with you at the bottom of here.

 

I dream of the day when I am writing to you telling you all about my day in a sighted world, but to be honest, I would be happy with being partially sighted. Whilst I hate being blind, it’s tough and cruel, we do have moments when I am better off now than what I was when I had some vision. Like being able to go out in the dark as before I was blind in the dusk only could see during the day. Now day and night all the same. But that can be a problem. All the same, day and night every morning waking up to the same view, same challenges and same feeling of exhaustion as to remember every single step I need to take makes me so tired. As a sighted person, I didn’t even have to take in my location. I just walked. Not needing to map routes out in my head.  As a person who is blind, I have to think ahead all of the time.

 

Oh my, here is my dear neighbour come to cut our grass at the front of our house. He is so kind to do that.

 

I read something today. She’s not fragile like a flower, but fragile like a bomb. Haha. That’s great, thanks to Amy and Dorie for that.

 

Happy birthday to Patricia, Lisa,  Amy and everyone of you who have birthdays today.

Thanks to Murat Yabas and Bill Stell for this information.

https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/reneuron-announces-further-positive-data-in-retinal-clinical-trial-301085299.html?fbclid=IwAR2-EVeoiQppcprEr-bsJ8cysj0VwQy9nHPQDEWqtOMq-nPeKD0BJ6NKt04

 

https://www.medgadget.com/2020/06/injectable-liquid-prosthesis-to-treat-retinal-diseases-developed.html?fbclid=IwAR1DlPUjVQ0Zod-_WqkdpmEUXWFJjJwr4wdaa9omP1BbOb3w0kZAvE0jeRA

 

https://www.natureasia.com/en/research/highlight/13362?fbclid=IwAR2mGKHU6MTnjzHgdetOYTWpad5bCHeE8lu850Y5tNqmjUO9too7CccvRfI#.XvoZTazYhAA.facebook

 

DIARY OF PERFECT MEMORIES BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I had a really difficult decision to make last Friday it was so hard but I did it. I made it. It was against my Hubs desire but he went with my thoughts. The pressure of it all was really stressing me out and once I braved up and said what I thought, it was like a bottle of fizz that had been shook then the lid was pulled off. What a mess, but it was out, nothing could be done about it then or now.

 

It meant Saturday was slightly fragile and I wanted to run away, but Sunday arrived our Son and Shamrock came and I had a wonderful conversation with someone very special who gave me words that has given me some peace at last over something so important. That was then, this is now, the weekend has arrived with another decision.

 

Our lovely friend and neighbour came to us the other day bringing hot out of the oven the most delicious stuffed bread with wonderful spices and potatoes in. oh my it was amazing. Hub was enjoying his so much. She is the best cook. So, kind too.

 

My Son has gone and bought a puppy. He and Sham drove all the way to London to see it. He is just turning four weeks. Right now, he is a fluffball but going off the parents, he is going to be a real bruiser. The kids are really excited, I just hope to God when they are both back at work, they will be prepared for the damage the poor dog may cause. Thankfully that won’t be for a while, and they already have a dog walker in place to walk him every day and my Boy will walk him too at night and weekends. I personally can’t wait to see him. I love puppy’s but Hub won’t let me have one as we have our two guide dogs that will also become pets as they are much loved family members, so when they retire, they will be carrying on living with us.

 

Father’s Day came and went. Hub saw our Son and Sham and our boy was as always so kind. Then a hard week at work and Thursday, time for a break from the half six wake up alarms for work and time to celebrate our wedding anniversary. A special one this year. And special it was.

 

We decided to put my friend on our car insurance. She was so anxious. Then when we were sitting in the back, all windows open and our dogs in the large boot, cold juice ready to take, cold water for the dogs and my friend froze and considering it was the hottest day of the year so far haha. She didn’t know our car was an automatic…. She has never driven one before. Oh my, what a   hoot… thank God that Hub knows how to drive the car…. How? Not sure considering he has no vision haha, but he managed to get us out of a very dangerous situation by instructing Abbs what to do.

Oh, my, stuck on a very dangerous round about, our car wouldn’t move. Twice this year that has happened to us, once with our friends in their car and once yesterday. Cars tooted at us; I was fearful that the dogs would get hurt in the back if a car crashed into us. Anyway, long and short of it all, she managed to do what Hub said and we started up and on our way.

 

What a great time we had and Abs managed the car after then with ease.

 

We went to the woods. It’s a new wood and it was a great find another long story how we found them, and one day I shall tell you that story. But we parked, we only saw three people. A man on a bike and a couple of lovely ladies. One of the two ladies said to us.

“I know you two… Did you used to come into a pub a lot?”

 Hahahaha. Abbs said Hubs face was a picture. I mean, that sounds so bad, doesn’t it? We used to go into a pub a lot? Turned out to be the pub we used to go to once a week with our friends before lockdown happened.

 

I let Waggatail off her lead and harness to have a free run. Oh my, suddenly we heard the panic of a Wagging one splashing about in a stream. The stream was down a little hill. Oh, the sounds. I was scared stiff as I know she can’t swim. Well she managed to get out, and she was so proud of herself. Poor Little Fella still working on harness for Hub looked to her as if to say, Waggs, you idiot.

 

The pine trees were lovely. The walk was fabulous. Hub let LF off and he loved it. My nine-year-old guide dog loved her brother being off too, so, the two of them lolloped and played happily, but we came back to the car as didn’t want them to get over hot. We gave them a drink and drank our cold juice and then came home. Our Son came with the most beautiful card for us with such loving words inside he wrote.

 

 He is our darling son we are so proud of the man he has become.

 

He loved my gift from Hub. My Son appreciates the good things in life just like his dad and his dad got me this stunning rose made from Cornish tin. But it’s solid you would think tin would be soft and bendy, the detail was beautiful. Roses are special to me and my Husband for many reasons, but my wedding bouquet my much-loved mother in law made me was beautiful roses. She also made our wedding cake and it had sugar roses on the top which I still have by the way, in my china cabinet.  And of course, I have written before about the thornless roses she bought us for the garden that we dug out of our last garden to bring here. But thornless they certainly are not.

 

Our Son ordered us a lovely meal to be delivered and we had strawberries and Prosecco and to end the perfect day Hub played the piano, all of the tunes/songs that we had on our wedding day. It was so romantic.

 

Today we have shared the day in our garden and welcome the weekend together. Happy birthday to Judy Hannah and today, it’s Mikes birthday if it’s yours, happy birthday.

    

 

 

WHY AM I HEAR? BY FIONA CUMMINGS

OK let’s think for a while.

Gosh what is life all about? A question I have asked myself so many times along with why was I born?

 

Have you ever wondered why you, were born? To some it was because our parents had a little fun and nine months later, we popped out to say hello to the world. But for me that was slightly different. I was adopted at four weeks to parents who really wanted a baby they were childless for fourteen years before they adopted my brother who isn’t blood related but as a child that didn’t bother me at all. My big brother who is seven years older than me, was that, my big brother. My hero. My parents were older than me by forty and forty-seven years. They died when I was far too young. A fear I went to bed with every single night from the age of about four. I always knew they would leave this earth when I was young with them being a lot older than myself, but I hope for my Sons sake, I shall, outlive my parents as they were only in their seventies when they died, I was thirty.  I had a baby and I needed them more than ever. Still today I feel robbed being without a parent to support me or for me to send birthday cards to or visit hug them tell them I love them, be a voice at the other end of the phone. Christmas and Mother and Father’s day I wish I could visit my parents. But one thing my Mum said on her death bed, not that I knew she was dying at the time, was that I, was meant to go to her. And I believe I was. My birth mother didn’t want me and my birth father had no choice back then so, I was thrown away like unwanted rubbish at the age of two days.

 

I for sure have suffered a lot of pain in my life a lot of heartache, depression and seen things no one should have seen at any age. I have visited hell on earth been held down by the devil and if not for my poor angel who watches over me, I am sure I would have been suffocated by his strength.

 

I had to go through the long dark tunnel and fight my way through it to get out, but in the journey, I fell down ditches but thankfully I was pulled out of them, left dizzy and confused. Sad and alone. But coming up to ten years the love of my life married me and put me on a fast track to get out of the long tunnel that I had been in all of my life.

 

I got out of there and out into the sunshine, only thing is, I had been in that tunnel so long I was like those mining pit ponies who were blind when they got out of the coal mine as they had been underground for so long. Only I was blinded by a cruel eye disease called Retinitis Pigmentosa who came and stole my vision overnight leaving me with a baby and little did I know then, that I was going to  be without my parents weeks later.

 

I still don’t see the sun, but I feel it and I still wait with bated breath and a beating heart for treatment to release me from this prison of nothingness that I wake up to each morning. I wait for research to write Eureka!

 

Rather than a long dark damp tunnel these days, I go under lots of bridges and some of them are really low, making me claustrophobic, only these days I have my love and he walks by my side!

 

I have gone through life feeling like a punch bag or something to be used as a worthless being, and still have days when I have those thoughts, but I am stronger now and don’t allow those large boots to kick me and trample all over me. I tell, not ask those people to remove their footwear and put on some carpet slippers and I talk to them. If they are not willing to undo their laces, then I tell them to take a walk to another place, another poor person will have to deal with them and I am free of whatever they had planned for me. I have got rid of the rubbish and I am left with only quality, but it has taken many years to get there, to get here. But still, I ask why was I born, especially as the woman who gave birth to me tried everything to get rid of me when I was still inside of her. How many more years do I need to live to learn that answer?

 

My Husband tells me if I had not have met him, he wouldn’t be here now. Perhaps I am here for him and he is there for me and we are both here for my Son who makes us proud every day. But I hope one day I will be able to say to you all, this is why I am here!

 

  

 

THE BLACKBIRD @PoetryByFionaCummings

A blackbird sings to me

From up high on the apple blossom tree

It’s like he knows I cannot see

As he seems to sing only for me

His song is pure

He’s like treatment or a cure

He removes my stress

With his song I feel blessed

By nature, so divine

Wings flutter, so fine

Through my open window

As the gentle summer breeze does blow

He can fly where ever he needs to go

An yet he stays close by

I wait for him to fly

But still the songster sings

In the distance church bells ring

As if to accompany the chorister

Then my blackbird turns into a forager

Cleaning the tall tree’s

Of the bright red berries

I close my window

And alone again with silence

And a reminder of nature from the beautiful fragrance

Of the vase of roses, I picked from my garden

Life with Gods gifts is so amazing

Away from trouble and violence

Sadly, we have to face as a forbearance

But now and then

A song we find

A moment in time

 Peace without crime

 So, next time you hear the blackbird

Know I have sent him to you

Listen to his tune so true

Appreciate what he is telling you

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

 

DIARY OF KIND THOUGHTS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good afternoon dear Bloggets. It’s cold outside and wet but I am sitting in my lounge with my window open allowing cool air to cleanse the house and pretend I am outside. Because that is what you do when it’s summer, right? Sit outside. Not cuddle up to your jumper and crank on the heating…

 

Well we have been told that one person can  come and stay in our house overnight now as long as they are from the same bubble, so, only one person if your Mum for example lives on her own, and of course she has been lonely, then you can go and see her now and stay overnight. We are allowed one, bubble friend.

(Michael Bublé?)

I am joking, he has a family, he isn’t alone…. But still, he is welcome here any time. Haha.

 

Still no treadmill. Shops are not selling them on line and our shops are closed until Monday. Monday is the big opening of shops in England. Then things may start to move. And if they do, I get my treadmill, I too, may start to move.

 

It’s funny in the distance I can hear an ice cream van. They come around our streets playing a tune to let people know they are in the neighbourhood. Only thing is, they don’t hang around so you have to run like mad to catch them or chase the van down the street doing an impression of a hungry stray dog with too much energy.

 

My Hub has had really dry painful eyes for weeks now but he can’t go to the local Doctors as it’s not really an emergency and again with the queueing social distance thing. I really am not sure what it is going to be like for those of us who are blind in the future. I have a feeling that the 2-metre thing will be relaxed. It has to be for many reasons, but then what will happen I guess over the next two weeks, we will find out.

 

Our M&S are selling a large bar of chocolate with peanuts and caramel, yum doesn’t that sound delicious?

I think they brought it out for Father’s Day which is on the 21^st of June.

 

I was reading today what it would be like if there were no humans left on earth. I have often written what a paradise it would be for the animals, but with the power stations and equipment that we have in place to control floods and all of the damage we have caused with plastics, granite and other items that are not biodegradable! Apparently, it would take thousands of years to get to the stage where the animals would be allowed to live in a perfect world for them but never will they be totally free of human errors!

 

My lovely friend came with her Husband today to take our dogs out for a very long walk even though it’s been raining all day. It’s dull and cold but still bless them they came. So now my dogs are shattered for the next 24 hours. They walk the legs off them. They will sleep

 

Well I have done all of my on line banking and housework for the day now I just need to prepare dinner for Hub finishing work. I’m making him fish pie. With creamy mash potato with a cheese topping. I’m going to make myself a vegetarian pasta. Tomorrow I think I will make a stew. It’s that kind of weather.

 

Today has been a day of what I call dirty jobs like washing out the bin, mopping the floors and cleaning the fridge and cooker, not all in that order. I hate those jobs, well actually I love mopping floors I know, I’m sad, but I love to make a clean shiny floor. All of my floor’s downstairs are hard flooring and that is perfect for having two dogs. I have vacuumed the floors down stairs three, yes, three times today. Hub says I’m obsessed with my floors, but the three times I emptied the vacuum, it was full. I have changed the filter too in my vacuum. I have gone from a Dyson to a Shark and I much prefer the Shark. Though it is like having a workout when using it as it’s heavy in comparison to the Dyson. We bought our Son and Sham one like ours and they love theirs too though Sham has had a few casualties as it lives up to its name, Shark. Once something is in its jaws, it tends to eat it up!

 

Hub will finish work then have dinner, then take his Friday night bath to mark the ending of a hard mentally challenging week at work then we will have a cupper and cosy up  to watch TV I think I am going to put on the fire as it’s chilli but not cold enough to turn on the heating all night. And then let the weekend begin. I hope the kids come to see us tomorrow and we may fit in a walk with a friend and a chat on face time with our besties. What about you, are you doing anything different? We are kind of restricted, aren’t we? We can’t go to the movies or the theatre or for a meal yet, I hope one day soon, this summer has all been a bad memory but one we shall all learn from!

 

Stay safe, remember to take your hand gel wherever you go and wash your hands whenever you get the opportunity. From Monday in England, if using public transport that includes taxi’s, people are to wear face coverings and it’s mandatory. Thank God I don’t need to use any public transport.

 

And just before I go some quotes.

To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. Take care of your thoughts when you are alone and take care of your words when you are with people.  Happy birthday to Paula and Sheldon and I wanted to share a hug to let you know I care. Laters.

 

DIARY OF HAIR AND MORE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good day Bloggets. Hub and I have been in very close contact for three months now, thank God we are a couple who are in love and can live together without the thought of putting one of us under the patio…. But there must be so many couples out there who really are ready to visit a solicitor. May be a lot of you didn’t know your real partners before lockdown? All I can say is give it a chance, if everything ever goes back to normal, then your relationship will go back to what it was before this evil poison that has spread across our world.

 

Out came my jumper this morning, I can’t believe how the weather has changed. A week ago, we were burning and now shivering.

 

I’m sitting in my lounge after a very long days work. Long because I did a lot and long because it has been so dam boring.

 

I was saying to my friend over messenger today how lucky she is, she is really good with furniture upcycling it. I would love to do things like that. My other friend is a great artist and another friend goes out every day for a jog. I can’t do any of those things and I’m starting to get really frustrated.

 

In normal times, I could go to the shop even if I didn’t really need anything urgently. I would visit the chemist even if it was for headache pills, just to get out. I would go to our lovely fish and chip shop or even a walk around the block. I would meet a friend and we would go for coffee. Or out for a meal. But again, all off the menu.

 

Not having my treadmill to use up some energy is driving me crazy but you just can’t buy a basic treadmill, when I say basic, I mean not an all flashing singing and dancing one. The flat screens are pointless to us. We need one that we can at least use.

 

What have my readers who are blind been doing during lockup?

 

Hub has been playing his piano more and we have both been listening to music at nights. Classical music which is very relaxing, but it doesn’t use up energy.

 

We ordered our Son and Shamrock a sofa for their house four months ago from Furniture Village. Oh, my goodness. I will never buy anything from them again. Simply for their poor customer service. They have told so many lies it’s unbelievable. I said to them I was going to cancel the order, they told me I would have to pay 20 per cent to do that. Shocking, I have not got the goods so why should I have to pay anything? So many times, I have been told so many different stories, so many times I have been promised a call back that didn’t materialise.

 

Well that was yesterday this is today. Haha. If you know what I mean. I wrote the first part of my blog last night I have nothing much to do these days an yet have no time to write. That also may not make sense.

 

Some news on eyesight now, because of COVID-19, a lot of people around the world  may lose their eyesight because they have not been able to go to the Optician or eye Dr. eye conditions that could have been saved if only they could have received medical help at the right time. This is dreadful news. Let’s hope one day soon there will be a cure for all kinds of blindness, not just Retinitis Pigmentosa. Just something I read of late re help for sight I shall post at the bottom of here.

 

Ladies, how are you coping with your hair during lock down? My friend in America went to the hairdressers the other day. Vicki said she had to wear gloves and a mask. That to me is funny as those who can see sit in front of a large mirror to see what they look like I’m sure they are not enjoying looking back at themselves as an  apprentice bank robber?

 

Our hair dressers are not open yet. As I keep telling you, my Hub will look like a 70’s reject by the time he gets his hair cut.

 

I got a call today from my lovely lady who is a Chiropodist. Her prices have gone up £9, so now they want £40 to cut my nails? No, not happening. it’s not her fault it’s her very greedy boss’s fault. I wonder if hairdressers are going to charge more as well? I think that is bad because our government have been kind and left no one without money, even those who have their own business’s. but they are taking advantage of people.

 

Some hair facts. Black is the most common hair colour in the world.  

red is only 1 % and blonde 2 per cent.

We lose between 40 and 150 strands of hair per day. In 1950 only about 7 per cent of women died their hair, now it’s about 80 per cent.

Hair has been used to absorb oil from the water.

 Not sure if this is right, but I read today that 90 per cent of Japanese people wash their hair twice per day.

All of our hair follicles are formed in our body by the time we are five months old when we are still in the womb.

Just saying. Haha. And now for those links.

 

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2020-06-vision-gene- therapy.html?fbclid=IwAR3tuWQ3EgSAWndB7CjIFTIZQeXnHsJbWP0saK8KV2ZT37l_VhwzbdAN8ys

 

 

 

JUST A RANT BY FIONA CUMMINGS

How are you all feeling? Are you all coping with todays world?

What a world we live in. we are struggling with this dreadful evil so called virus around the world, we cry and are appalled by the dreadful murder of the black man in America who was brutally killed by a policeman who I hope is suffering now wherever he is. But rather than everyone protesting peacefully, there are thugs out there destroying statues and setting fire to buildings and cars. But what is totally disgusting is throwing bottles and worse at our Police in the UK. Most Police are good people who spend their working life protecting us.

I’m white so of course I don’t understand what people go through who are treat badly because of their colour, but I am disabled with blindness, so I understand discrimination.

 

All I know is, I have respect for those who are protesting peacefully but for those who are damaging properties and so on, I feel total anger towards you all and you are just thugs who are using this serious situation to get off on your disgraceful behaviour.

 

Thank God today saw the lowest number of people dying of COVID. 77. Of course that is 77 too many. For all the 40,000 plus who have lost their lives, it’s agonising. Just because our country is starting to open up, doesn’t mean the virus  has gone and remember those numbers, 77 people, A, have loved ones who are pining, grieving right now and B, remember those figures are from two or three weeks ago because you don’t get it one day and die the next.   So, in two weeks’ time, let’s see what the numbers are like. I pray they are low, but I think most people are relaxing now. I just hope people remember to wash their hands over and over again and with it being hay fever season in the UK, please carry handkerchiefs with you at all times.

 

Re masks, I hate them. I also feel for those who need to lip read if people wear those, how can that happen if people wear masks?

 

It’s hellish for those of us who are blind, a new world we have gone backwards to a hundred years ago as far as people’s opinions and outspoken views. As far as us not being able to go to a shop without a sighted person and for those who don’t live with sighted people, how can we not mix with people with vision if we need to shop. It’s great we are now getting at last groceries delivered but only once a week, sometimes you, run out of milk, bread, so, why shouldn’t I?

 

Sometimes going to a shop, is a person who is blind only outing. That has been removed from us. With social distancing how can we do this and how can we see to get to the back of a queue that is sometimes around the outside of a building? We are prisoners and we have committed no crime.

 

Horse racing is back on our TV. Sadly. No crowd though, empty Grand Stands. Silent races. Going back to the awful violent demonstrators, a poor horse was hurt yesterday whilst carrying a police woman who fell off the horse. I hate horses being used like that. I wish they were left to be free to run in fields.

 

Zoo’s are really suffering with this shutdown because people are not going to visit them. I hope we can do our best to donate to them to keep them from having to get rid of some beautiful creatures. I mean they still have to be fed. The beautiful animals depend on us visiting. Some zoos are trying to offer other services like paintings, please check out your local zoo on line, please?

 

In the UK they are now starting to open churches and other places of worship. But only one person at a time is allowed in to pray. I really don’t understand this. What ever God you pray to, he is everywhere, isn’t he? You can pray from home or in a park, you don’t need to go to church to do that? And the poor person who is going to have to sterilise everything before and after your visit. Church is about community, but if communities are not allowed in, then why go?

 

Well rain has fallen today for the third day in a row. It’s been so cold we have had to turn on our heating. It’s June…. We don’t live in South Africa, it’s summer in England…

 

How about a few laughs?

(I went skydiving today. A guy strapped himself to me and as we plummeted through the sky, he asked, so, how long have you, been an instructor?)

Oops.

(My Husband said. I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis. I replied, that’s 15 love.)

Thanks for the laughs Ian and a very happy wedding anniversary to Carrie and Gord. Xx

 

 

 

#PoetryByFionaCummings CLOSED BEHIND DOORS

CLOSED BEHIND DOORS

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Closed behind doors

Thank God for my four paws

She seems to know

I have to be alone

Sure, there’s a voice on the phone

But no hand to hold

No smile to see

Just my dog and me

A prisoner locked in

Without committing a crime

Sadness deep with in

More than a moment in time

Months have gone by

Tears I cry

Will life ever be normal again

Or is this the new pain

No one seems to be taking action

For those who are to blame

I don’t understand people’s reaction

So calm but I’m going insane

I can’t look out of my window

As there is nothing there

The world has gone away

As if no one to care

But the birds sing their sweet song

And then I feel I belong

And then I read of human destruction

And life for them goes on

No one has learned a lesson

We should have read this as a blessing

Our world is dying

Some, humans are crying

Grieving

But what can we do?

The wrong people are suffering

Whilst the evil continue

What will the outcome be?

Let’s wait and see

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

BLUE EGGS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good after noon Bloggets. Here I am in my back garden. The birds are still singing, I say still, as the sounds of the cars on the nearby road haven’t caught up with the birds yet, they are still hoping that us humans are still on lock down and their skies are clean, clear and the pollution from the traffic is so small, it’s not bothering or choking them.  Their sweet song has been the best thing about this killer virus. I say killer as it has sadly killed so many people, but, it’s also had its benefits to the environment such as somewhere in England a white stalk has laid eggs for the first time since 1400 and something, six hundred years ago was the last time this bird laid eggs in England. Fish are swimming in our rivers who have been strangers to our waters for so long, the annoying thing about lock down being slightly relaxed is, we were told there were some sports we could do again. Such as, fishing and hunting. For Gods sake, why? Why allow this evil to murder the beauty that is in our world. Let people play, golf, tennis and so on do we really have to murder innocent creatures? Can’t we leave them alone can’t we learn from this lesson that is far from over?

 

The sun is out, there is a breaz but it’s refreshing.  A pigeon is singing in a near by tree, the same song, do they not get sick of hearing the same words over and over again, or is it us, who can’t hear the other tones the pigeon is making? Or, does he sing the same song, but in his eyes or the turn of his head translates to other birds what he means?

 

There is a high pitch bird I think protecting her nest and another bird that sounds as if it’s kissing someone’s cheek. Another one is flying around and singing as she flies. And then there are the crows. Hmm.

 

I am waiting for my shopping to be delivered. They have not let me know yet of the time they will be coming. I just hope it’s not within the next half hour, or I won’t hear the doorbell. But normally we get a text to let us know the rough time and we have not had that. That is a bit worrying. As it’s due within the next five hours.

 

My Husband put the order in this week, he said it was due on Tuesday, haha, he better not have thought it was this week and it’s indeed next!

 

How are you all doing these days? I hope you are managing to eat well and keep as fit as possible then if this hideous whatever catch’s you, you will be healthy enough to beat it. Talking of health, my treadmill has gone to the mill in the sky. It’s dead. I have killed it. It took its final smoke and pop pop bang a few days ago. I’m annoyed as I need it more than ever.

 

For part of our dinner tonight, I have made mash potato with herbs. Added salt and pepper lots of butter (very healthy) and cheese. On the left side of a oven dish, I put a hole in the potato and cracked an egg in. why the left? That will be hubs side, why the left? Because I’m always right……..

 

Now to decide what to have with it. My son is a fantastic cook he has a great imagination too and he thrives on healthy food. I brought him up well. From a baby I have always given him lots of fruit and vegetables and it’s now shown in his lifestyle. Shame I am good at giving out goodness, but not so good at taking it in myself.

 

Oh, the smell of manure is wafting in from the fields. Fields? Where, I live in the city. It’s mixing in with the blossom in my garden and the sun that is burning the wood on our fence. The fragrance from food that is being cooked in our international avenue of all sorts evening meal preparation’s and a smell that is quite nice that I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was. Until now. it’s only my sun tan lotion. Hahaha.

 

I could sit out here and chat forever but soon I have to go in and cook dinner. Hub is working till six tonight. A ten-hour working day. He will be starving he hasn’t had a thing to eat all day. He has had no time and he insists in eating in my peace room where I have a lovely massage chair. It’s the only room in my house that isn’t cluttered with stuff. You know, just stuff. Life. it’s a clear room for a clear mind. Only it’s full of the Hubster all day now as he works from home. What is wrong with his office? Good question. That room used to be our son’s bedroom I kind of feel sad when I enter it, I wish he was still with us. The pain of him living elsewhere burns my heart, but I am blessed we still see each other, I know some of you readers don’t see your children as they live too far away, I could never ever live far from my Son and I hope that choice is never removed from me.

 

My biscuit man is due but I didn’t know he was coming back until one of my neighbours phoned me. So, I have ordered lots of goodies for our shopping this week. Or, is it this week? Imagine how annoyed I will be if I have said no to our biscuit man and our biscuits are not coming until next Tuesday? Oh, that won’t be a good moment in the Fifi household.

 

The other day we were quite desperate for milk. I felt so flat as I couldn’t go out to our local shop and buy some. This blooming distance thing is killing those of us who are blind. And you get some absolutely evil narrow minded people who say things like if blind people can not keep safe from us, then they should stay in. shocking, if a sighted person can not see me coming with my guide dog, then they need to have a word with Guide Dogs UK.

 

Listening to the radio whilst I was pealing potatoes this afternoon, I was listing to Radio 4 about people talking about how water has affected their lives. Water is such a powerful thing. It can kill, an yet we can’t live without it. I love the sound of water, do you? A lovely water feature is so calming in a garden. Out in my garden, I wouldn’t be able to hear it as it would have to fight against the sounds of the traffic. A trickling babbling stream too, oh, how beautiful!

 

I received a lovely few message from my friend who spoke of the veg she is growing in her garden. That is a perfect life. one of the people in this afternoons radio show said she used to keep chickens and they produced blue eggs. Gosh, how pretty.

 

My early readers, old Bloggets as you are lovingly known as, do you remember our canary? He was Irish you know. Oh, he could sing. Why has my mind gone from chickens to our Irish canary? Oh, I guess the sun is getting to me I shall go in now and cook. Such a wonderful life. a hot day and a hot oven. Bliss.