I'M SO NOT ONE OF THEM BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good evening Bloggets. It’s so cold and very wet outside. I went into the gym before and oh boy, here is a real blonde moment I had. So, I’m thinking at my age, (34)

Stop it…

How could I have grown taller?

Well this baffled me, in fact my baffle has never been so, well, baffled.

As I trotted along on my treadmill, oh, no, sorry, raced, like a speedy jockeyed horse,

 Okay.

 More like one of those donkeys on the beaches in England, you know the ones that take the small children for little strolls?

 

I pondered over the situation of how could I be taller since I have been exercising?

Oh, *blush*

 It dawned on me.

 I have had the mill going uphill. So, of course I am going to feel taller.

Let’s just keep that one to ourselves.

 

You long term readers may remember many years ago I have written about when I had a bit of sight, I went to the gym a public one, lots of people. Mainly pumped up hunks and undernourished designer cladded girls.

I was with my friend Jan. well we managed to get on a couple of treadmills next to each other, I actually didn’t get on two mills, no, I’m not that talented to put one foot on one mill and the other on the other. One may do the splits and that wouldn’t be a pretty sight, especially as one wouldn’t be able to get back up and one would have to be scooped up by one of the hunks.

Dam. Why didn’t I do that one person two treadmill trick?

Knowing me it would be one of the starving twig like gals that would come to my rescue and because she wouldn’t have the capacity to lift the Fifi up, I would have to be tugged, pulled and heaved from my situation. Either that or an involvement from the local fire station.

Again, dam.

And I apologise for all the times I wrote the word, one, in that paragraph…

 

Well there I was on the treadmill and I saw this person in front of me. Oh, I laughed to my friend saying, well I was worried about me, but look at that poor love, I look rather sprightly in comparison to them… then I focussed into the face. oh, my it was doing an impression of a tomato. She was so red. Again, scoffing to Jan I said. “she should stop, bless her.”” Well my friend by this point had to get off her mill. She was bent double. I was concerned. Oh, no my normally fit friend was having a heart attack. I stopped the mill got off and through panted breath, I asked her to lay on the floor.

Well that made her worse. Gosh the sounds coming from her were loud, but hang on, she was laughing.

She stood up slowly, I steadied her. She pointed through a teared face. She couldn’t speak properly.

I looked to where she was pointing. That red-faced unhealthy person was standing next to a person who looked just like my friend.

Hang on, it was my, friend.

Hold on,

It was, me?

 No, how?

My friend recovered and said I had been looking in the huge wall mirrors.

Well I didn’t even know there were mirrors in gyms.

Why? Who the heckers wants to watch themselves working out?

 

Oh, seriously, you know how you get really cool people in life?

I’m so, not one of them!

 

 

THE END OR START OF A NEW LIFE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Oh my, dear Bloggets. Here we are, no matter where you, we, are in the world all of our lives have changed in a similar way as common as breathing, we are all effected by this COVID 19, formally phrased as Coronavirus. Tragically, I fear I have lost some readers to this scary virus. I pray this will be over with soon. But how? Sadly some, people are not taken notice to the rules. I have read just a few, thankfully, really stupid posts on social media where people just are not believing the facts that are out there. There are so many myths and conspiracies regarding (COVID-19) and no matter of your opinions the facts are, people are dying, young and old. Those who have additional health issues, and like today, I read in the UK, a healthy 27-year-old man has lost his life to this virus, leaving behind at least his 10 day old baby. These victims are not a myth. They are not made up. This is a war and whether you believe it’s an experiment from the lab that has gone wrong, a chemical  deliberately been released, people eating poor creatures or the Bible coming true, earthquakes, bush fires, floods and quotes like “And this gospel of the Kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, then the end will come.””

It’s written that Jesus sits on a mountain of olives. (Spain, Italy?) “People will become lovers of self.” Does this translate as people being selfish all for themselves or loving the same sex as themselves? “lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless unappeasable slanderous, without self-control”” and the words go on about how awful humans will become, including how we will appear Godly but forget the power of God. In other words, humans are the scum of the earth. Which is really sad, as I know a lot of very kind people, I guess I know or have known, pure evil too. But I was gifted strength to get rid of them in my life and now I have peace, but am I good enough in Gods eyes? I’m sure I’m not. Who is, even good people are far from the perfection in the eyes of who we call God?

 

It’s also written. “And you will hear of wars, rumors of wars see that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet.””

(Few) smile.

 “Shut up the words and seal the book.  Until the time of the end many shall run to and fro. “” (Run to and fro?) could this mean leaders, medics and so on frantically reading, researching papers, signing agreements, just rushing panicking to find the serum to find a treatment for this virus that could end humanity as we know it? The words continue.

“Concerning day or hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the sun, only the Father.”” (in other words, could this mean this virus caught us all off guard? As in no one knows?

“There will be great earthquakes, and in various places famine and pestilences.””

(pestilences) translated a deadly epidemic disease. Are you getting what I am writing now? It continues. “There will be terrors and great signs from heaven”” Could terrors be terrorism? As for the great signs from heaven? Could this be the goodness that is being shown in humans at this moment because of this virus? Proving that humanity is not dead entirely? And I love this part of the bible. “You must be ready, for the sun of man is coming. Then there will be great tribulations such as has not been from the beginning of the world until now, if those days had not been cut short, no human beings would have been saved.”” So, why do I love that? Is this prophecy explaining we are now being given a last lesson to save the world? To save humans? As in end wars and pollution? It’s written “But for the sake of the elect, those days will be cut short.”” (Elect) people we choose to rule our government? I mean, they are the ones who make the changes on global decisions. They decide cuts on carbon emissions and so on, wars, journeys to lands we are not meant to have knowledge about, if we were meant to go there, I believe we would have been created there. I like most people am fascinated by space, other planets, I totally believe in other species, aliens. But if we found them, we would kill them. Humans are not good enough to except them and leave them to live their way in their own world. We hope, they tell us, to one day possibly live on another planet? Rather than saving the beautiful earth we have been given. Did humans come here to learn, or are we here for other aliens to look at us and learn from us, learn how not to behave?

  

       Some more from the bible which I would like to talk with you through my own translation.

“For as the lightning comes from the east and shines as far as the west, so will be the coming of the sun of man.”” (The east? China? Travelling to the west?)

See what you think of this? It’s also written. “So that no one can buy or sell.””

(buy or sell?) hmm shops right now? It’s hard to buy and harder to sell.

 

Another quote from the bible. This one blows my mind. “And I saw a beast rising from the sea with ten horns and seven heads the whole earth followed the beast.”” (The beast in the sea the whole world followed? Followed as in social media TV Newspapers and so on, we were all fixated by the cruise ships with people on would they die? Where would and will they go as another cruise ship no one wants so it is just waiting to find somewhere where it will be excepted. I guess in the days when the bible was written, a cruise ship would have looked like a beast, a beast as in size. The dragon is spoken of, well again, China? It’s also written that labor pains will come upon a pregnant woman and they will not escape. Okay, now it’s getting spooky. So, our wonderful Prime Minister has just been diagnosed with C-19 and his girlfriend is pregnant. So, he has not escaped from the virus. Though I pray he will be OK as he is the best PM we have ever had in my opinion.

 

It’s written both great and small, rich and poor, no one can buy or sell. Again, it’s so hard to buy as we are used to and for those selling, most now are at home, their gold they earned before has no value now, the crashing of the economy.

 

It’s written about four beasts. The first beast speaks of its rider wearing or given a crown. (Crown, translation, Corona)

Words like the King of the east coming up against Israel.

 

Well, going back to where I started this blog.

Changes. We are all experiencing change. I want to tell you what COVID 19 means to me and how it has affected me personally.

 

Firstly, I have found myself in deep thought as the above briefly shows, please let me explain, I am far from an expert of the bible, my religion heads towards Christianity, but is just face to face with it as my belief is different to what most people believe in. I believe in angels, and spirits. Aliens and a God.

I hope for kindness and despise hatred and cruelty. I believe in a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye, and don’t or can’t seem to think of myself as such a good person to be able to turn the other cheek. That is the bad side of me. I can not forgive and to be honest, I don’t want to forgive, or haven’t in my whole life, until the past few months when there is one person I have forgiven because the love I have for that person is way beyond any painful potion from my past.

 

That forgiveness only comes because the guilt has not been proven directly in front of my eyes, only my ears and possible lies I have been told.

 

I write in riddle, I guess what I am saying is I am what I am and I am not sorry for that. I believe I genuinely care about good people and I cry when kindness is being hurt. I am genuinely thoughtful when it comes to other people’s feelings and lifestyle, as long as those people are in my heart, my mind, good people.

 

This virus that is spreading around the world is making me feel very dark, disappointed and depressed. But at the same time, I feel hope, happiness and hysterical. Hysterical in a way of laughter and feeling as if I am going crazy.

 

Is this a time for us all to wake up and look around and see, hear and feel what we have closed our minds to all of our lives? Is it now time for compassion, care and cruelty free? If this virus, and I stress, if, this has come from eating poor animals, then should we now look deeper into eating food that does not bleed, cry or suffer?

 

Do we need everything we see or hear about? Do we need to keep building that wall around us to keep out those who may need to sit with us and experience some compassion? Do we need to close our windows to keep out the cold and ignore those who don’t have the luxury of warmth?

 

There are people doing things for others now that they wouldn’t have even thought about a few months ago. Personally, I have seen kindness from people who have not shown me it before and felt love that I want to except where as before I would have thought, you know what? I have those in my life I love, I don’t need any more people to love, but now I realize that love costs nothing, or shouldn’t, and I have loads to give. Lots to share. But I shall be careful who I trust as still devils walk among us, but angels have for sure been brought out of their cloaks and they have been given wings to fly and prove themselves.

 

Because of this virus, our air is cleaner by far after such a short time. Fish, dolphins and swans are places they haven’t been to for in some cases decades in fact some fish were previously thought to have become Ext inked.

 

 In my back garden, there is the fog of not so fragrant car fumes from the road of death near us, but in our front garden, wow, the air is like what it was when I lived in my green Northumberland. My home. Pure air, today it was earthy. I could smell the earth. The leaves, spring floral buds and the sky. That may sound odd, but I can’t see these things, so I use my other senses, which according to myths, my other senses kick in and become stronger, not true, they are the same as yours, only I don’t have the distraction of sight.

 

The odd thing is, from my front garden to the slightly more polluted back, it’s about forty feet, about 12 meters and I can differentiate the air quality. And the cars I would guess are half to what they normally are right now, so if doubled like before, I would not be able to once again go back to my childhood and remember the fragrant air our youth have never known. Now, stop the cars from the road at the back of my house, wow, the clean air would be amazing. I am also enjoying the sounds of the spring birds, though sadly, less than last year which saw the decrease in the birds from the previous year.

 

So, are we meant to learn from this? Or is it the start of the end of the world, at least as we ever knew it. After this is over, if it ever will be, I mean, we do still have the flu for example, will we go back to who and what we were before, or will we be better people. Are we seeing the birth of humanity? Already I am seeing amazing people. Is this our lesson, or are we preparing ourselves to go with our makers son to a place we live forever or are we going to dance the flames with the devil.

 

Tonight, is freezing cold and pouring with rain, but I for one am not ready for the heat of the devil, nor am I wanting our earth to die, be stolen, swallowed up and burned out whilst I am placed on another planet. I may be reunited with my much loved and missed family and friends who have moved on, my pets too, possibly I can take with me my family I have on earth and my chosen friends? But what if I am on a different level to them, what if they are better than me? Who will judge me? I’m told by our bible; our Father will judge us. But what is good or bad to him, may not be good or bad to me.

 

Do I want to sit at the feet of Jesus, or do I want to show him respect but walk by his side?

 

I hope after this, if there is an after, we can all walk side by side and be more caring towards others and our earth. Do we really need two, three or four holidays abroad per year? Do we really need to eat as much meat? Should we not be kinder and open to others?

 

Well my next blog I shall tell you a lighter version of what this virus has meant to me. The nightmares and difficulties some of us who are blind have had and are having to face. And the amazing tear-jerking moments that have happened of late.

 

Gosh, I didn’t intend this blog to be quite as long and never expected to be so serious. Please take this seriously don’t think it happens in other countries or a certain kind of person. This is a real fight only we can beat. Stay home as much as possible and practice washing hands and spraying surfaces after you may have contaminated them. I used to put my shopping of grocery bags on my kitchen work tops. Not now, tomorrow I shall tell you the huge changes in every day life. Especially from a person without sights perspective!

 

God bless. Our creator has a lot on his mind and we can help by listening to our leaders and our souls. Not believing in every word, but at least to Annalise our situation.

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

 

     

 

   

 

CORONA DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Hi Bloggets, last week,  whilst the wind and rain threaten the sky with snow, I did wonder where spring went to and asked myself if it got lost, and from last week to now? gosh,   as this morning I heard a lonely bird singing its beautiful song, the sun Shon so warm which was a relief  Not what I wanted later on in the day as I got soaked through when the sun turned into clouds and the heavens opened to once again wash the earth as if to cleanse our land.

 

And talking of cleansing our land, wow, how much has changed for us all this week. What is happening? Could it be the start of the end of the world? Is it some experiment from China that has been released? Why are China not holding their hands up and apologising for their murders? Why do other countries have to suffer because of whatever they have done? Or, is it Gods way of slowing down the planet and making us all take a look at life and revalue what is important to us in the meanwhile, there are few flights, so our skies are without pollution, less people are travelling by car to airports and train stations? Less people on our roads in their cars and we are to stay with our family now, possibly communicate? Go back to what it was like in the good old days when parents had time for their children and actually had to use their imagination to entertain the little darlings rather than send them off to a child minder or other member of the family.

 

Is it time to appreciate elderly people? Realise just how important they are in our lives?

 

Whilst out in my front garden today, the smells were so different. It could be because spring is on its way, or is already, the air cleaner?

 

If you think about it, the start of the year right up till a couple of weeks ago in the UK, floods damaged our country and winds all over the world bashed our beings. Four weekends in a row, our city had awful floods. I said at the time, the devil has arrived. And for some now, he still visits as he takes the lives of loved ones, but let’s hope this is a cruel lesson for us all I just fear that as humans, we will never learn, but this could be an education.

 

 Again, a third day in a row I tried to purchase hand gel from our huge supermarket and other smaller shops. The lady told me today she started work at 8 a.m. and the shelves where there was hand gel were totally empty. Also, have you seen the prices of toilet rolls? If, you can get them again limited stocks are in our shops.

 

I went on Amazon and typed in toilet roll and I got loads of notifications saying out of stock, then I was offered wait for this?

Bedding sheets…

And then cat food.

But then we were back to the essential loo roll. But it was one and one only, with the face of Donald Trump… and it was £10 per roll. To put it in perspective, we pay on average, 60p there are 100 hundred pennies in one pound.

 

Thankfully our little Shamrock came to the rescue, bringing us supplies, so we didn’t have to send for the bed sheets, or, the cat food?

 

What has that got to do with well, going to the toilet?

Don’t answer that.

Yesterday I went into a large department store and it was 3 pm I was told I was the third customer that day. It was like a ghost town.

 

I, wonder which country will be the first to come up with the treatment to treat Corona virus?

So, the symptoms? A cough and a temperature. Flu like symptoms. Face masks are OK to help to stop others catching the virus if you have it, but won’t stop you from catching it by wearing one. By the time you fiddle with your face mask, after touching your face you have the virus on your fingers. After Touching a table in the restaurant or a door handle where someone with the corona virus has touched before you then you put your fingers/hands to your face without washing your hands or using a good gel, that is how it’s spread. The virus is found in droplets. Most people will be okay if they do catch the virus. But for those at risk, those who are not so strong or who have conditions for example asthma this can be dangerous.

 

So, what do we now all do? Keep clean, carry handkerchiefs and if you have to use them, throw them away safely then wash your hands. Use gel if you can’t get next to soap and water.

 

By wipes for things like phones or computers.

 

I do wonder if China will give all the countries who are affected money?

 

And finally  if you are going on holiday abroad, please check out your insurance and if you don’t have any, get it fast if you can because I heard that in England, some insurance companies, are actually stopping insuring people who are travelling abroad, those who have insurance, check that you are covered for corona virus.

 Having said that, if you still can get a flight, what will be the point of travelling as when you get to wherever, you won’t be able to do anything, as everything will be closed down. Have you ever known a time when churches are closed? Even in war, churches were open.

 

 

 

Better weather shouldn’t be long coming then I hope we are all in a better place by then and this has been a part of our history we will talk about but we will have survived the awful virus or whatever it is, don’t get me started with my conspiracy.

 

My Hub has had a really bad couple of weeks at work, he got up the other day, at 5 in the morning to get to the train station for six. To be told his train was cancelled. And here we are 11 in the evening, he walked through the door after eight tonight 12 hours after leaving home, he ate his meal I cooked then he has worked ever since. I guess he will close his lap top soon, I think he has worked about 32 hours this week so far and its only Tuesday. My Hub is like his brother, they for sure have the genes of hard workers.

 

Whilst my Husband has been working, I have been trying to sort out plumbers… my heating is now on, I am grateful it cost a lot though to get a guy out for twenty minutes. I’m not sure how plumbers can charge so much money to do a simple job, but I guess they have a huge call out charge before any work is done so we are led to think that price is for a simple job.

 

Before the world went crazy, I went to the pictures with my friends, four of us went to see a film called Emma. A real classic. Before modern day producers got a hold of it.

All four of us were, looking forward to seeing it.

All four of us at one point during the movie fell asleep.

I have never done that in my life.

At one point my lovely friend turned to me just after she had found herself in a state of slumber, she asked me with concern.

“Oh no, I fell asleep. Did I miss anything?”” to which my response was.

“Don’t worry love. It’s fine.””

 

Because I am lucky enough to have provided earphones with audio description, I really enjoyed the beauty of the setting, but the story was trashed. Still I’m glad I got out and great company as it will be a while before that happens again.

Take care please

Stay safe and well.

 

 

 

 

   

YOUR ARMS #PoetryByFionaCummings

YOUR ARMS

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

It’s so lovely to have you in my life

To fight the battle of troubles and strife

To have found someone as kind as you

To have fallen in love with someone so true

My forever loves

I thank God above

For every day you are with me

Your words bless me

Heal me

Love me

Your thoughts cure me

Help me

Release me

Our breath beats as one

It is in your soul I belong

For every second of my being

It is only your arms I want to be in

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

PEN TO PAPER LOVER #PoetryByFionaCummings

PEN TO PAPER LOVER

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Though the ocean keeps us apart

You still have found a place in my heart

Though our eyes have never met

I feel like we belong

I dream of you at nights

And think of you by day

Your pen to paper

The words you write

 Never go away

Those words I savour

Memories forever

Plans we have together

A lifetime and forever

With you by my side

No longer we would need to hide

The secret is out

Your name I can shout

For it’s you I have found true love

That is without a doubt

One day we will meet in a mutual land

 Hand in hand

As Cupid will understand

You have dressed my heart

And filled my world with hope

But first we have to travel the globe

To get to each other

Until then you shall remain

My pen to paper lover

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

JUST A DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Debating whether or not to visit the gym for the second time today. You may be thinking wow….

But I have eaten three pasties.

One for breakfast, one for lunch and one for good luck.

 

Yep, one thinks the gym may be a good idea.

 

I have just sold something on line. So, this meant someone had to come to my house when I am on my own. A total stranger. But she came firstly I was pleased that she was in fact, a she… and what a lovely she she was. So lovely. I sold my Hubs juicer. Don’t worry he knows about it. Haha.

Of course, she didn’t know I was blind. Then we had that awkward moment of handing over the money. She held it out for me to take. I opened my hand to take it. She kept a hold of it. I kept my hand there.

I don’t think I will ever understand why if my hand is open, do people not connect? It’s like the embarrassing hand shake moment where someone has held their hand out to shake and I don’t realise.

 

Anyway, I had to tell her I was blind and she was lovely. I just hate wearing that badge.

 

I actually fell a sleep last night at a good time. Before 3 a m. our house was in silence only the creaking from the heating could be heard. I’m getting used in a good way to being on my own when Hub is away because I am going out during some days which helps and I have my best friend with me my little Waggatail. I wonder if she knows how much I love her? I also have my emails from my adorable friend Louise and my live chats with friends on line. It helps that they, are from America so their bedtime isn’t mine. Well, having said that, what time is my bed time?

 

It’s really windy here today, it’s rained every day for a month and it’s snowed. We have had floods all over Britain.

 

There is a man in England who is the oldest man in the world. He is 112 next week. Wow, what an age and he still seam compos mentis. He has seen kings and queens I have only seen one Queen and I’m getting on in age haha.

 

My lovely friend Sheila said to me the other day, she thinks we ar the same age…. She is in fact three years younger than me. I do love that gal.

 

My Hub is now in Ireland. I wish he was back but I have to wait another 24 hours. Especially after there has been announcements that some flights will be cancelled due to this virus that the world is witnessing.

 

I can not believe it is my baby boys 23^rd birthday tomorrow. Where have all the years gone. His Dad bought him a very special gift a sound bar Boy wonder is like his Dad in the respect they are both into great sounds when it comes to TV and music. I’m hoping that I will be going out with BW and Shamrock tomorrow for something to eat to celebrate his birthday.

 

I hope you are all well and as we are now in Spring, lets get happy about our future months of good weather, I say this as sleet slaps itself against my windows in the coldness of the darkness outside. I am blessed that I have a roof over my head. I have heat and electric. More blessed we are not flooded though those not too far from me are not even able to stay in their homes because of floods. This year has been hell for some poor people.

 

Later on, as I take my dogs out to their dog run, I shall get back into my house, close and lock the doors, feel the heat as my bones shiver from being outside just a couple of minutes then once again thank God for my luxury.

 

It’s almost 9 pm and in the distance I hear a train. It’s so romantic the fast-flowing drops against the glass too. But sometimes reality isn’t romantic.

 

My house is filled with daffodils. I love the smell of them. When I first went blind, it was those flowers I missed the most. I in fact couldn’t buy them for about 10 years. The pain was too much. But now I am back to loving them and what they represent. New start the beginning of spring which walks us into summer and then autumn. So, a lot of lovely weather to look forward to.

 

Yesterday was one of those days when I just wanted so badly to wake up and suddenly see. You know, where for the past 22 years, my brain has been telling my eyes they can’t see but that day was going to be the day when my brain forgot my eyes couldn’t see and my eyes caught up!

 

Yesterday was going to be the day when I would open my eyes and see the sun shining through my bedroom window. I was going to wake up sit up in bed and put my fingers to my eyes and move them one by one, seeing my wedding and engagement rings for the first time. Walk to the bathroom a look in the mirror being prepared to be shocked in how old I now look compared to the young girl I was all those years ago when sight was robbed from me.

 

I lay there dare I open my eyes? I prepared myself for the worse, there we go am I telling my brain I can’t see? What if I truly believed I could see, what if I programmed my brain?

 

I once again lost the battle and blindness prevailed. I woke up in the dark grey room and went to the bathroom in the dark. My soapy wet fingertips saw my face where my eyes failed to tell the true picture.

 

But I live  another day to tell another story and pass on some words.

 

If you are feeling stressed, find somewhere comfortable to sit, open a window if it is daytime if night time, turn off your TV or other sounds and inhale and exhale. Turn your worries into wisdom and then you will find answers to life. life has a way of imposing pain on you, but it’s your choice to think about how you can get through it. And for that we have choices. Sometimes those choices are uncomfortable and difficult but still, if we have never tried it that way, who knows, that way may be the right way!

 

Life is a flower and from that comes honey. Honey is sweet and so can your life be but it takes work, it doesn’t appear in front of you in a dish.

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

 

 

DIARY OF BIRTHDAY BLIND CARPET BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Hello Bloggets. Sorry it’s been a while but been busy here in the Fifi household. It was my birthday last week, thank you all for the lovely messages, emails cards etc. from my Husband I received some amazing earphones that if I start to think of how they work, I would possibly freak out. No wires or plugs. Haha. My Son bought the most thoughtful gifts. He is fabulous at knowing what to buy. They just kept coming. He bought me too much and then Shamrock came with more gifts. Gosh a lucky wife and Mum.

 

My birthdays have always been a bit of a sore point in my life, though I have had the most rememberable ones the kind that don’t happen to the norm, but hey, I’m far from norm. haha. But still it was the day I was born and for that I have always had deep thoughts. My Husband is the same but in a different way, but because of what happened in both of our lives eleven years ago and for me last year too, I have a future, the only trouble is now, my future is getting shorter… it’s running away with my mind and thoughts, so, I hope I can pack in a  life time of dreams over the next however many years, birthdays, candles I have to blow out, I have left on planet earth.

 

Hub and I have been shopping with our Son and Sham. They are getting their lovely house ready to be a home. It’s too cute for words. Hub and I are so happy and to be a house owner at such young ages is amazing.

 

Well let me try to tell you about my day and part of my life. oh, this is so funny off paper, not too sure how it will come about in writing.

My old Bloggets may remember a cream carpet I ordered for our Sons bedroom. It came when he was on holiday. It was down a week. I even gave a telephone survey saying I would give the carpet, and company as well as fitters, 10 out of ten, but our boy looked in shock when he returned to England, telling me my cream carpet, well, wasn’t cream…. They had delivered and fitted the wrong carpet and cream became purple…. Dark beetroot…

 

Well the company came and sorted but I think now, the blind carpet story is famous in our local carpet shop.

 

So, for our stair carpet, I bought a beige carpet. Well the van pulled up to lay it. I opened the door. He shouted to me; I have the wrong address…. He then laughed. What a joker…. Obviously, he remembered the purple carpet and was taking the Michael….

 

I laughed.

He laughed.

I told him not to bring a purple one in.

He laughed again saying no, this is not purple. I asked if it was beige? Yes, he replied. I will show you.

I laughed again. Silly man knows I’m blind…. But he says he will show me.

Well he came in, he insisted on showing me the carpet. I said you are funny. He laughed again, such a cheerful guy… I then asked him where his partner was? He replied. No partner love, I work on my own. I replied. No, last time you were with someone. He answered. No, never, always on my own. Then he said. I have never been here. Oh, I didn’t stop there. I replied. You came last year to lay the bedroom carpet. No. he didn’t.

Oops

Wrong guy.

What a dope I am.

I mean why would a large company use only two fitters? Of course, they have a selection of them. But it got better.

 

Trying to hang on to Waggatail the wonderful guide dog, as she wanted to show the guy how friendly she was by doing an impression of a scarf, around his neck…. I put my hand on the money I had to pay him, just in case it got knocked off the coffee table as he was pulling and carrying the carpet and underlay through. The man was out of sight.

If I had any.

And feeling for the money with on hand, the other on the wagging one’s collar, I knocked over my small vase of daffodils.

Oh, no, water everywhere.

I picked it up, went into the kitchen to get some kitchen towelling. Got down on the floor to wipe up all the water. Just then I heard the guy coming down the stairs. Oh no, I couldn’t let him see I had spilled something. So, I quickly dried up the floor and grabbed my tiny energetic beasty girl. I then pretended I was playing with her, stuffing the kitchen roll behind the chair… acting like everything was normal and I hadn’t had a blindie moment.

He said.

“Oh love, have you spilled some water?”

Well I was speechless, I mean, how did he know? I then in a red fluster replied.

“oh, yes a little water, but it’s OK, I will clean it up….””

 

As he left the front door to get tools, I suddenly thought, Fifi, he wasn’t volunteering to clean it up for you honey….

 

Well when he left, I gave him his money. Then went around the landing and our landing is so big, and I picked up all the bits of carpet. The last guys cleaned it up so well. This man didn’t even ask for a bag or vacuum… I emptied the vacuum six times and filled a bag half full of larger pieces of carpet and underlay. Obviously, he saw my floor cleaning skills and thought I will leave it to her she can cope. Haha.

 

I then came to wipe up all the coffee table making sure it was bone dry. Where does that expression come from? Bone dry?

 

Oh, no. There it was, winking at me.

£10       

I only underpaid him….

I text him telling him. He said he would come back the next morning at 8

Eight?

Well there I was the next day, bright and early, well, not so bright, but definitely early.

Where was he?

Not here for sure. I text him again, he said sorry love I forgot. well his money is here for when he can be bothered to turn up.

 

The last guys who did my carpet one of them was so upset because his dog had just died.

This man, he was going to wait another 24 hours and get his dog put to sleep as it was so ill bless her.

I guess the moral of this story is, if you ar a dog owner and a carpet fitter, don’t come near me.

 

Today our Son went out with his Dad to play with tech. Hub was meant to do his jump today his parachute jump but it was cancelled because of storms. So instead the boys went to play and our boy was so happy when he came back as his Dad treat him to an early birthday gift. My baby has a very kind Daddy but our boy was so very grateful. He is such a lovely lad.

 

Hub and I are out to the theatre and a meal with our dear friends Geordie my footballer’s wife and, well the footballer, her Hub. Haha. I can’t wait. The four of us get on so well.

 

Before I go, I would like to say get well soon DaveKwiecinski, and if you, have been in hospital of late I hope for you a speedy recovery too!

 

Have a safe weekend. X

POLAND PETS AND HOPE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

It’s late or early, depending on your thoughts. Time is chasing shadows turning the hands of the clock to 2 a.m.

How long will we be in this world with hands that tell time? I can’t imagine our beautiful buildings from so many years ago that are still standing tall and proud with digital clocks on their faces. I know it’s so expensive to maintain clocks from yesteryear, but we must, to preserve beauty, history and respect.

 

My house is silent apart from the odd snoring coming from my dog and the creaking from my house as it tries to sleep by cooling down from the heating that has been on all day in our bitter cold winter, though it’s truly tropical comparison to years gone by.

 

My Son is in Poland on holiday and it’s coltish and wet there. No snow and not much different to the weather in England. Again, going back ten years, he wouldn’t be experiencing the same kind of temperatures.

 

All he seems to have done so far is eat. He is in shock just how inexpensive the food is there. And lots of vegan places to choose from I tell you, places abroad put our country to shame for vegans as there is much more abroad than in the UK.

 

Oh, his apartment where he is staying sounds so lovely, really posh. And full of niceties. A robe, slippers and tea coffee and cream. He arranged for his girlfriend to have roses and champagne as well as chocolates on her arrival. He is so kind to her.

 

On his return, he shall pick up the key to his brand-new house after a couple of days he will be back working every hour God allows.

 

My Husband will return home later on tomorrow night after three long days away. I have enjoyed the time to write as I love to write during the night as I become this free spirit with a different outlook and a brave mind.

 

It’s so quiet, peaceful. No cars pass no voice in my avenue of assorts. No dogs barking and it’s calm out there so no chimes from my bells outside. I’m sure to my neighbour’s delight.

 

By the way, did you know the human eye who can see colours, can distinguish more shades of green than any other colour?

Just saying, thought I may as well put that bit of totally useless information in here. Haha. I wonder why we have two parts to our eyes as in upper and lower eyelids? Why not just one closure?

Just wondering?

 

Talking of eyes, here is a great link. From blindness to sight

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/blind-alberta-man-sight-partially-restored-taking-drug-1.5451166?cmp=rss&fbclid=IwAR2RxJnKz5sPKDKYqGfPru7jkmA8DjDGZMJ9HUGEGiTsi6nz-TYVA4zrfM4

 

My little Waggatail of a guide dog worked so well yesterday. We went to the big shops of course we had to head towards our pet shop first. My little somewhat confused and traffic shy dog becomes a totally different guide dog when she is near her favourite shop. Even if I don’t want to go in there, we do. Even if I dare to suggest we go to another shop first, nope, it’s not happening. she passes by all of the shops to get to her place of paradise. And God help anyone who gets in her way. She is on a mission and of course Mummy has to buy a toy or two and treats when I’m in there. She likes to say hello to the other animals in there and volunteer at cleaning up the pet store to keep it tidy for all other dogs that enter the shop. To their disappointment, they know the Wagging one has been in before them as the floor is total treat free.

 

I guess I should try to sleep now. though to be honest I really am buzzing to write so much more, but I have to be up early in the morning. Until later, stay safe, proud and grateful for small pleasures.

 

A TOWN CALLED JOY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

This is semi deep I hope thought provoking!

Well when I write my blogs, I like to write what is on my mind, so, for todays subject it’s just that what is on my mind and yours.

 

I was just thinking about perspectives. When you feel like you are having a bad day, try to think about how your life could be worse? Is that a half cup empty or a cup half full? I think the latter is healthier, but sometimes my cup has a crack in it! Let’s chat about feelings.

 

Have you had one of those moments in your life where you have a special piece of jewellery, say a ring, you feel empty, naked somehow, you look or in my case feel the ring finger? It’s that, emptiness. The mark is there from the ring, but the ring is missing.

 

Your heart drops and your stomach lifts so hard and fast it almost regurgitates from your now open mouth. Open in shock and disbelief.

 

You are hot but shiver with fear and realisation that your most treasured item apart from your loved ones has gone. Where is it? Who has picked it up? It’s a mini grief, I think. If you have never had that experience you are lucky. To some they have nothing at all sentimental. I often think this is the best way to be.

 

Dusting the other day, I picked up a beautiful ornament that my dear friend Kingsie bought me some years ago. I got anxious in case I dropped it. I place it back with care feeling so sad that now she has gone an yet I have not only a memory of her but this item that I will treasure forever, but what if one day that breaks? Again, how sad will I feel?

 

In my sadness of missing my friend, I felt a warmth that she still lives on in my house not only my heart as in my heart, no one can remove her or break her. And at the end of the day, that is the most important thing, what is in your heart. Her fingerprint touched my heart eighteen years ago and will remain there until we meet again, perhaps in another world that will be much kinder to us both. But will I know her in the next land? I have a belief that when we think we have met our soul mate, it’s because they were in our lives in another world. That is how my Husband and I feel.

 

Remember how you felt on your first day at school? For me it was awful. My first school was so difficult as back then it was before Russia and before learning how to be partially sighted. When I say that, at first when you are tiny and you can’t se as well as the other children around you, you are totally oblivious. Your friends run, as do you. Only sometimes you fall as when running with my eye condition, I couldn’t focus. I would not see the steps, or the wall or the person in my way.

 

I didn’t know when I was little, as in four, that I would be the one who would get told off for not writing as fast as my friends because they could see well enough to copy the blackboard. I was the one who would open my reading book like my friends, but it was me who’s eyes absolutely stung when trying to see back then without glasses. As a tiny child I thought it was normal to hurt like that, so never said anything. It was only when I got older that I learned I needed glasses. That made the pain less but I still got so tired when reading as could only see a part of one letter on the whole page at a time.  All my friends had read their book, and were already writing what was necessary to complete work for class that day. Me, I had to suffer detention, but as I got older, I learned to read the synopsis on the back cover and use my active imagination to fill in the gaps. I smile with pride now as I got so many awards and points, a badge almost every week on the board for good work. But what if I hadn’t had had a good imagination or the ability to read the back of the book and fill in the gaps.

 

I was the one who couldn’t see to get to the local disco and I was the one who had to go to hellish boarding school at the age of six and couldn’t learn to drive like my sighted friends.  But I learned as I got older, I learned to slow down when running, to be cunning during lessons. To satisfy myself not going to the places other people went to at my age and to catch a bus if I needed to get places.

 

And then at seventeen I became that prisoner, trapped in a marriage of contempt of being led and taken places. Chained by what life had in for me and what I was prepared to except.

 Eleven years after I lost all of my vision, I learned how to be blind. Though this lesson is difficult, and can be so painful, mainly due to others thoughts of people who are blind, but I’m still learning and teaching and now I’m ready to face the next stage in my life of lessons and that is how sighted people live. Surely it must be so easy?

 

For those who are sighted, those who are having a bad day. I would love to try your life especially if you don’t really have anything too bad going on in your world.

 

I’m ready to live your life for you if you are not happy with what is going on. Please give me a chance to see. And let me teach people how lucky they are.

 

I thank God every day for my Husband and my Son. And for the thought that one day I can be united with those I want in my life and for my lovely house and to some standards my lifestyle. But there are dark days and those days I have to push on walk tall and climb up out of the ditch and walk along those undulating paths to a town called Joy!

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

SIT NEXT TO ME #PoetryByFionaCummings

SIT NEXT TO ME

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

A blank canvas

A brush and a dish

A pot of paint but what colour will I choose?

What will I draw?

A lady with a fine dress, and high heeled shoes?

A pretty face?

Sleeves with lace?

What colour hair?

Eyes, will they stare?

Blue, green or brown

A smile or a frown?

Will she paint tired

Will her looks be admired?

Perhaps she will be well placed with royalty

Or a poor person

A look that makes her appear guilty?

Sit with me at my easel, and see what I have chosen?

Will she be feeble, or strong?

Will she be adventurous, or in time frozen?

 Stuck in a rut

Looking over her shoulder

Waiting at home for her long-left soldier

Will he be back?

Shall I reach for the black?

Shall I give her a sunhat?

Does she look the kind to own a cat?

What does a person look like who owns a cat?

Hmm. So, much to think about

But what a privilege without a doubt

I’m fortunate

I can create a life

A talking point

As art is what the eye see’s and the mind excepts

Art can’t have any regrets

It’s a sin to disregard what we dislike

For our mistakes, is someone else’s light

Out of the darkness

Away from madness

Somewhere to go

Even if it’s only a visit to their mind

Imagination

Passion

But what for those who are blind?

What do they see before them?

If they hold a pen

How can they create a picture?

A life?

Do they see the blood on the knife?

The end of a life

The birth of a child

The beauty of the wild

From a storm to weather so mild

What is the sun to them but for the heat?

What is a connection

If eyes don’t meet

Life without colour

Must be a lonely place

Expressionless features

Upon the face

Sadness in a fallen tear

A rise of a glass at the end of the year

A love so fair

A match as dark as the night

A star jumping in fright

The moon glowing with delight

An owl in flight

A fisherman looking for a bite

A hunter traumatising a rabbit in fear

A killing machine, poised to a deer

Sitting here

What will I paint?

A cottage ever so quaint?

With a straw roof

Sitting on top of a head of stone

All alone

In a place so remote

 Or on the rough see’s

A boat

Biting through the waves

In a mist

A haze

How do I get that effect?

Nothing is perfect

Life isn’t so, why should my picture be

Oh, shells and rocks along the sea

A Stoney beach golden sands are just a memory

Driftwood finds its way to shore

Collect it to make a barn door?

Or a coat rack

And paint it black

And here we have my painting

Thank you for waiting

The sea is in the distance

A Victorian lady looks like she is doing a dance

Pointed tows tap naked on the sand

Lifting her long dress

Not to get it in a mess

Her floppy bonnet

She beams as she misspoken wet

Tiptoeing through the white waves

Out to see are all the graves

To the lost sailors and crews

The mixture of blues

Green and whites

The sailing boats and yachts

A perfect spot

To paint a picture

But does it have to be for the world to see?

Perhaps I should keep it in my mind

As that is where a person who is blind

Keeps their art work

Not on a wall

Or a shelf so tall

Looking like it’s going to fall

  From somewhere small

Like a coffee table

Or a knight stand

Welcome to my land

My world

Where coal looks like gold

And secrets should never be told

Open your mind and frame your life

Let it be whatever it wants to be

Set your mind free

Sit next to me

See if you can paint, what I can see

 

© Fiona Cummings