THURSDAYS THOUGHTS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good morning Bloggets. Another early morning and another day with our decorator. I picked the wrong colour for my walls. It’s very light cream. I hoped for a strong cup of tea with a little milk… as for the colour on my walls? Smile, just joking, that is the colour I was aiming for but the tin lied. My Son looked at the colour on the tin and it looks much darker than what is on our walls, I guess a lesson is to buy the sample pots. I always used to think, what’s the point when I can’t see them either? Well others can… We are so used to doing everything on our own, I forget to ask our Son. I try not to ask him for help as it’s not his fault we can’t see. But in future, I am going to have to ask him colours.

 This painter has been here every day from half eight in the morning until five each night for the past four days. He must be shattered. He never leaves to go anywhere just keeps going to his car but for no more than one minute. And he is so very quiet.

 

We are just going to have to be very careful not to ever touch the walls as they will show every single finger-mark. So, soon, may be tomorrow, we will put or try to put our curtain pole up again. Out will come the ladders and Hub will do his balancing act. There are four parts to it, so God help us… And then hanging the pictures the correct way… I don’t want my angels standing on their heads!!!

It has, been known…

But that angel was a Christmas light up decoration for outside.

And the difference?

Well, obviously one is a light up decoration and the others are beautiful paintings. But, none of them are obvious which way they go… Wouldn’t it be great if every picture frame and photograph frame has on the top left corner a tiny raised dot, just to let us know which way to hang up our pictures in cases like this when we have decorated? I know a lot of frames come with a hook on the back, but none of mine have this… That would be far too difficult for a Fifi to buy… haha.

 

What a hoot, I bought from Amazon, a doggy cologne. Well I read the description again and I really did smile just for half a second, don’t think I’m getting over cheerful. Smile. Well it read

“Perfect cologne for your butch boy to make him more appealing to his bitches…”

Just don’t tell our Little Fella that.

In fact, don’t mension it to my little Waggatail of a girly either.

 

Hey, guess what? I went on the treadmill again last night, wow, double wow shock and all that… and, I did a huu’uu’uu’uuge, 26 minutes…

Whoopedy doo, poopedy poo!

 

Hub did his normal time and a bit more. He’s speeding up his treadmill pace. He’ll be running the piggin London Marathon next…

That’s fine, I shall be on the side holding the supportive drinks…

 

Today we have had views from Mexico, Sweden, Japan, India, England, US, Australia, Turkey, Canada, Thailand and Poland as I have checked twice today, I managed to get eleven countries counted. As you may know my blog stats only shown the top ten results. But if I check morning like before 6 am, and then much later in the day, I get a better picture.

 

This month we have seen our regular Blogget countries, Like America, UK, Germany, France, Australia, Canada, South Africa and Poland, but since last night here are the places you are reading from who don’t visit every day.

 Netherlands, Turkey, Iraq, France, Ukraine, Norway, Russia, Italy, Belgium, United Emirates, India, Spain and countries I haven’t even heard of before.     

 

The readers from the USA, have been double this past couple of weeks. My new Bloggets? And to those of you who have been frequenting my blog page for some time now, bless you all. Oh, I got wrong for a blog I wrote the other day…. Haha. Wo from? Hub. Did I take it down? Nope. Which blog? Well, not saying, but I saw no wrong in it, and it is what it is… Sometimes Hub is like my school teacher. I keep telling him, he’s not my manager, he’s not my boss!!! He just has a very serious official side to him he forgets to hang his hat up after he comes in from work….

 

Hub has a big birthday this year coming up. He has told me he doesn’t want a party. Is a party the same as a gathering? I would only invite My Brother and family, Hubs Dad and brothers, obviously our boy, some friends and colleagues!

But he would kill me….

 

It would be lovely to see some of Hubs old colleagues too. He used to have a wonderful boss and some great guys at his old job. I can see Hubs face now….

And, hear his voice…

Maybe we shall just go out for a meal.

The three of us.

 

OK, before I go some words.

When we are children, we are conditioned to behaving in a certain manner. As adults we are pegs to fit into holes. Once there we tend to stay there. Only once in my life I have dared to jump out of my hole and escape the norm. it was the best decision I have ever made.

 

When we are children, we have dreams. Nothing can get in our way, we transition into adulthood taking with us the programming of those adults who have moulded us. Before we know it, we are older and what have we achieved that truly makes us happy? We are old computers just ready for the scrap. Our memories get wiped and we are broken up.

 

So, we have choices now. we are adults, like those adults who programmed us all those years ago. Do we have control now?

We can start from today, start to be the person we have always wanted to be, as best to our ability. Seek new jobs, new relationships and a totally new pattern in life. even down to wearing different clothes, change our hair colour.

 

I dare you to do something totally out of your comfort zone. If you do, please let me know what you did? It’s comfortable where we are but it can be really exciting if only we take that plunge. And, if we don’t like it, we can climb back into our cosy warm hole of the past.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

NANCY'S STORIES CH 1

Bloggets, get ready to laugh and say out loud. "ahhhhhhh, wow."" This lady is wonderful. I'm blessed to have her in my life and I know you will love her words.

but that little bugger is back!

  Okay, I can now get the dumb ass of the year award. I get up at 4 a.m. and am impatient to get started on my day as the heat is supposed to climb later. Before light hits the sky, I am out in the prison yard, tending to the Bad boy of the barnyard and the little chicken mafia. My faithful dog by my side as I work with flashlight in hand. I scatter chicken grain for the little carnivores, shovel chicken shit from the floor and make several trips to the compost pile. I smell like I just took a bath in the duck pool. Hurricane Jose on my mind as I think with agony of the wood that I still have to stack and wanting it done before the storm comes in. I am done with the poop patrol by 5:30 and it’s still dark, murky with fog and ohhhh so quiet on the home front. I love the early mornings. It's when I can work and let my mind venture to faraway places. Hauling out the wheel barrow I notice my Tara Belle acting strangely. Not giving it thought I head to the wood pile and begin loading the wood once again. It seems this woodpile is mocking me.

 

I've loaded and unloaded this freaking thing four times now, another story for another day. Calling Tara Belle, thinking she's just spooked by something she smells in the woods, I make my way to the woodshed. Floor is still holding so hubby won't die by my hands today. Tara belle refuses to follow me. I should have listened to the dang dog. With an arm load of wood, I make my way into the shed, and see the skunk, and that little skunk sees me, and our eyes meet. hers curious, mine horrified.... I scream like a school girl...’Oh dear God why?’ as I back pedalling to get the hell out of the way. She squeaks...lifts her tail...Pepe Le Pew...sends out a spray of the most noxious, horrible, gagging substance....and dropping the wood I run like my ass is on fire and the devil himself is hot on my heels...Tara Belle is already on the porch, and this little fu***** Pepe Le Pu is chasing me.... Since when do skunks chase people????? Aren't they supposed to run away? Thus today, my shed and wood pile have the most noxious odour known to man and I am at a standstill with loading the wood…Hurricane Jose can have it…and perhaps in all his hurricane fury he will carry that God-awful skunk from my place.

 

Part 2

And: That little bastard is back! In December! Too cold I thought for skunks, but noooooooo! It is 1 a.m. and hubby mumbles, waking me up. Him: What is that smell? Me: Grumbling. What? Him: That smell? Me: Oh fudge! Skunk! As I am burying my head beneath the covers gagging. Him: Man! That stinks, it smells like he's right here in the bed with us. Me: Go out and shoot him! Him: You go out and shoot him! I ain't going out there! Me: Please Dear God go out and make him stop! Him: You're just nuts, you know that? Me: It stinks!

Him: Go back to sleep! Me: Well you’re the one who woke ME up asshat! So thus, another early day starts up here on the hill.... paradise.

 

Part 3

And, The trees are covered with ice and it is a let down from the beautiful warm temps we had over the weekend. Laundry has been started and the big hand

on the clock above the fridge is just reaching five a.m. My day has started. My mouse is alive and well out in the wood shed, she/he peeped its furry little

head out at me yesterday. I listen as Peckerhead crows out his morning call… I am mad at that fluffy little flicker, as I limp around the house doing my

chores like some old lady with arthritis in her joints… No I don’t have arthritis..I am sporting a bruise about the size of a saucer on my knee which also

has swelling the size of an orange. And it is from chasing an escaped Peckerhead convict around the icy yard yesterday, slipping and falling several times,

as the Little Chicken Mafia cheered him on. They wanted him to embrace his freedom…I wanted him back into the coop. The Little Nasties quacked behind their

fence…wanting and hoping for another go at this handsome dude. They were preparing for a rumble, I was preparing ideas for a good stew. Needless to say,

I won the race and he went back into lockdown. He was not a happy prisoner…, crowing out his displeasure as I closed the jail house door. So today I will

go into the coop armed with a broom. Why? Because Peckerhead has been known to hold a grudge…and I want to be prepared in case he decides to strike. I

know him and the girls, the rowdy, conniving little bunch they are, have been plotting and planning my demise. It is not a matter of if but rather When!

And I will be prepared. No more prison breaks on my watch. No more sneak attacks if I can help it. Awareness is the word of the day…be aware of my surroundings…if

anything looks suspicious…take notice and take action…I feel like I’m preparing for my own little Chicken/Rooster Terrorist attack. It is an uneasy feeling.

 

Now, I have had people who read my stories ask me why I would keep such a beast around and I always tell them it’s a complicated subject. But the basic

bottom line is that I’ve come to respect this little dude. He is a great protector for the Little Chicken Mafia dudettes…he’d lay his life down in a Mississippi

minute should a fox, coyote, hawk or other predator come after them. He even protects them from me. He’s got spunk and attitude, something I find challenging

and endearing. He’s got a big and bold personality!!! And as wiley as he can be, he just has a way of looking at me that makes me smile. Yes, we have a

very dysfunctional relationship, he and I. So today I am armed with a broom…and an attitude of my own. And, I am sure he’s already got his moves all planned

out…and we will do this dance one more time.

 

Written and © by Nancy Broadley

And there are more to come. She’s brilliant and I absolutely love her stories. She is the only person who can actually make me laugh out loud through her writing.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Rooted-Nature-Stories-Healing-Feminine/dp/1542507014/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

 

 

A PART OF MY HEART BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Oh, my goodness. What a day. Let’s just say I don’t want to have anything to do with my bank for a while. Never mind, it’s mild out side no ice and all is OK.

 

Shamrock came and took Boy Wonder out for some fun… She is driving him one hour and forty minutes from here, away for something that will last max one hour… and isn’t even booked. So, when they get there, they could be turned down, but hey ho, there’s always shopping… She has no idea of timing and she told me it was just under an hour away, when in fact in this traffic, it’s over an hour and a half. They left at half one this afternoon so they will be in perfect time for all the children out of school.

 

Where are they going? Well sham likes to surprise BW so he doesn’t know, but by the time this is published, he will know where he is going. So, they have gone to a place where there are bouncy castles….

I hope for 6 feet 4-inch 14 stone men.

Shamrock is max 5 feet, so she will be OK. It was so funny she went for a car wash and the guy had to put her car aerial down. Well, she is so small she can’t put it back up. She also can’t reach the wall cupboards in our kitchen!

 

Last night the two of them were crazy. Really hyper. It was like having two ten-year-old children. Our Little Fella was joining in, just to add to the noise and poor Hub was in bed ill. He has had a huge flair up with his TN. Not sure why, normally it’s brought on so bad by stress and everything at work is OK and home, unless there’s something from his past annoying him… I hate it when he is in pain it’s so sad.

 

I did 20 minutes on the mill tonight and last night 19… Haha, tomorrow may be 21? Gosh it’s so boring. Hub loves it. Why? How even is that possible? At least I don’t come off in agony now. just frozen cold. It’s too cold out there.

 

For all my Guide dog owner Bloggets I’ve had the call…. Yep, the C word for the other word we dread. Aftercare!

 

The lady who is my guide dog instructor is my favourite that I have ever had. I still hate it… My Waggatail has to work her best as do I. We have to remember all the things that we were taught… it’s like taking a driving test… Seriously it is. I’m so critical of myself and feel she will be too, and who can blame her?

 

Another early morning tomorrow as my painter is coming at half eight. He works until five at night and doesn’t stop… I got my iPhone before to try to see what colour the walls are… oh, my what colour did I pick? Well, one picture reads grey. Another white. Another brown. So, I still don’t know and BW has spent three minutes with me today so I haven’t had chance to ask him.

 

I don’t even know what’s happening with the gloss work… it feels really odd but that could be the paint I have picked or, the painter may have used something different to put on the doors etc before he uses the real paint…

  

Whatever he knows his stuff. I’m sure it will look great when he’s finished and that is supposed to be Friday, but who knows, it could be Thursday? Not knowing what has been done it’s hard to say. Bless him, does he eat? I am so used to lazy workmen who go away to eat, then have a drink or ten and then go away as they need to pick something up, that really annoys me because they know what job is to be done so why not bring all the tools they need?

  

Oh, guess what? You know I said I was going to see our school friends? We are meeting at our besties house. And, my friend JB, gave me the best news… one of the delegation, him, isn’t coming. Great news… so, it will be Trix, The Like man, I hope Hanz, JB, possibly Sarah and Trace and of course Hub and myself. And, five dogs now not six because he’s, not going… So, a day when no lies will be told! How I was took in by him for so many years, but no more. He’s been sussed.

 

I have written before Trix and I have been friends forever. Since we were teeny weeny girls. She was my first little pal at my first dreadful boarding school. And, like Hub, when we were 12, sadly, we all parted but thank God, we were all reunited 28 years later and my first little boyfriend from school became my Husband. And all us girls are back in touch, with now the Like man who is the husband of Trix and has become best friends with Hub and myself and then there are the children who are all grown up now. Well, kind of… I was reading today that adolescence now in the UK has moved from 19, to 24. People are not moving out like they used to and marrying so young. Having children as young either or buying their first homes at such an age like they did at one time.

On average people now in the UK marry around 27 and have their first child in their thirties. It used to be marry at 19 and early twenties have your first child… then it came to me. I had to break all the rules. I married my ex when I was 17 and had my first and only baby when I was in my late twenties.    

 

I would honestly say I didn’t grow up properly until I was with my baby. I had to grow up in many ways, grow up differently, from I was six, I had to dress myself in the mornings making sure I had my uniform on the right way, knowing   where my shoes were among another 29 little girl’s shoes, who were in dormitories on the same floor as myself and know where my coat was for school. I had to know how to change from school clothes to what we called play clothes at night, there were no parents there to lay out my clothes on my bed. Even down to underwear, I had to know what to do with that. Bathed myself even ran the bath, can you imagine letting your six-year-old child do that?

 

There was no supervision apart from an abhorrent, beastly, detestable, red headed angry bitter, loathsome, thieving cruel creature who went under the name of Elizabeth. She was blind. She sent shivers down my spine. Having said all that, I do know of one person who liked her… but I know more people who felt the same as me.

 

 Oddly my next school, there was another woman but that one came with a Husband so, double trouble and double cruelty and that woman was even worse than the first one, something I never thought was possible.

 

When I was at my second boarding school, I had to learn things like when not to run out of shampoo. Soap, toothpaste and so on. I had to budget. My Mum used to send me a £5 note through the post. I used to feel so sad and guilty. The pain I felt was too bad. I was taking money from my Mum knowing she struggled so badly paying for bills, again, because of me. My stupid eyes. Going to Russia for eye treatment killed my parents. They said cancer for Dad and Pneumonia for my Mum, but for years they were dying as my situation didn’t help!

 

I missed my parents so badly I was home sick beyond belief. I would take the note from the envelope and hold it to my nose. Tears would just miss the money as I could smell the leather purse my Mum had. I could even smell her perfume and awful smoke from her cigarettes. Just as not eating properly is my escape smoking sadly was hers. So badly I wanted to be at home with my parents. From a tiny little girl, I knew they were so much older than me. My Mum was forty and Dad forty-seven when they adopted me at four weeks old.

 

So, at weekends if we grovelled enough and had totally kept out of trouble and bare in mind, getting into trouble at that place was daring to smile… or, saying yes when we should have said no. but if we were allowed out, my friend Mandy and myself would go to the town on the bus and head to the shop to buy what we needed that week. Even down to soap. And that was when I was still young. So, in some ways I had to grow up but in my head until my baby was born, I hadn’t really reached an age where I felt like an adult, though for ten years I had been cooking and cleaning for my ex.

 

What even is growing up? Who knows anyone who is the same age mentally at exactly the same year in their lives? So, you are 24, are you the same mentally as your neighbour who is also that age? I don’t feel my age now that is for sure, but, what is my age. The old saying goes. Age is just a number.

 

Well, goodness knows where this blog was meant to go. But my eyes are now stinging with the paint. So, I guess I should close my lap top and leave this room as the fumes are rather strong here.

 

Before I go, a cheerful ending, haha, goodness knows after the above we need it. A guy friend of mine said he was getting romantic in the bedroom with his girlfriend and her twin. I asked how can you tell them apart? To which he replied. “Her brothers got a moustache.””

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FOR THE LOVE OF INDIA BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good morning Bloggets. Gosh I was reading an interesting story today about a couple of Mothers in India one lady was a Hindu the other a Muslim. Both ladies gave birth to boys at the same time in the same hospital and both babies weighed the same!

 

You may be a head of me already, a week after they were born the lady who got out of hospital immediately after giving birth realised that her baby wasn’t hers. By the looks of the child and the baby represented the Mother that was in the bed next to her. Turned up eyes and larger cheeks almost Mongolian looking. She told her Husband and at first, he was really cross with his wife but on reflection he began to investigate.

 

He had no help or support from the hospital and ended up getting the Police involved but it took a couple of years and after blood tests and a letter to the other Mother, eventually the case went to court. But in the end the two families loved their children, or in this case, each other’s children and decided to keep the children the way it was but the loveliest part of this story is the families meet up regularly and are working on becoming friends.

 

Now, one child will be brought up as a Muslim the other a Hindu. One of the fathers said children are children and religion shouldn’t come in between them. Wow, if only everyone thought like that? I really feel this is a story with a lesson to us all I also feel it will make an incredible story for a movie. But most of all, I hope the children will be happy and not affected by this.

 

It must be so difficult though, I mean right now the children are just under three years old. What happens when they are older and they are all together. One child does something the natural parents don’t agree with? One of them isn’t working as they should at school and when they date? Oh, gosh, I sadly can see problems ahead. And when the Grandchildren are born? I guess some will say there are more parents to love the children as will there be more Grandparents.

 

Below is a link to this story. There is much more detail than what I have written and it’s really worth a read.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-42743982

 

 

MONDAY MOTIVATION BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 Good morning Bloggets. Gosh it’s slippy outside. At 8 am this morning, I was out and almost slipped. It’s so scary I just feel for those who have to catch a bus to work or walk to work when it’s like this. How on earth do you do it if you can’t see? You don’t know where you are putting your foot so it’s not as if you can avoid the ice. My walk was short. To the post box and back. It was the post box nearby so I was OK if I had to go to the one almost a mile away, it would have been bad. I remember asking a Mobility instructor to show me the one close by and she wouldn’t… I understand her reasons why, but she didn’t understand my reasons why.

 

She was an instructor from another area not my normal lovely lady Jane, as Jane for sure would have understood, she was brought in from another area… I think our Guide Dog branch had staff off either ill or holiday. Anyway, the reasons why the instructor wouldn’t show me how to get to this box, was because it’s so close to home. She wanted me to give my dog a long walk. And to be honest, I do still even now I know how to get to the box here, thanks to my Son showing me once… where as an instructor would show me until I am totally confident. And if she’d shown me, I may not have had a split face last year. I bled all the way home and before I got home, I was so dizzy with stress of finding the box, I ended up getting lost, or disoriented. Long story why and it’s boring but it’s one of those days I really didn’t like. One of those days that makes me remember each time I leave the house, to be anxious.

 

The reason I wanted to learn the way to the post box is on days like this when I need to post a letter and because though early it was sunny and not really that cold. But still sadly it was very icy but I didn’t realise this until it was too late because most places are fine, like my drive and the path out of our street, I thought it was a fine day.  For days when it’s raining hard or, so windy it makes it really difficult to hear where I am. And, if that lady wanted to post a letter, she would walk to the nearest one, wouldn’t she? In fact, she probably would drive to it!

 

I fed my birds today though there are few. I feel so sad for them as it’s been so cold for days now. but it’s due to get warmer. Still though the poor birds.  I have my bird table obviously in the same place in my garden and I know exactly where it is and when I think of the length of my garden it’s amazing how I just manage to find it first time every time. I changed the water today as they need fresh water not frozen as they like to keep their feathers fluffy to help with flying. I still can’t imagine how those little creatures survive in the kinds of temperatures we have been having of late.

 

It’s 10 am now my Son is still in bed though my decorator has been here since 9 am. He was exactly on time. Right now, he is rubbing down the gloss work. Gosh his arms will be killing him. I want to make him a cup of tea but I don’t want to disturb him either. I shall give him another half of an hour then offer a cupper.

 

The colour that is written on the paint tin for the walls is called white almond. My Son said it’s far from white or even cream but much darker than cream. I hope it will be when it’s on my walls as seriously, it’s such a big job this. Five full days. And things everywhere even though it’s not a room. I wrote of all the ornaments we had on the landing windowsill and the slim drawers we had to move as well as the floor standing candlesticks and the small children’s wooden and cane chair my Son has had since a tiny child. Then there are the five pictures, clock and mirror that I had to move, well, find a safe space for.

 

Our stairs have not been painted in almost six years and there is so much gloss work. Nine doors and surroundings as well as the skirting boards and loads of wood on the banister then the windowsill.  That’s just gloss before the ceiling and walls.

 

I hope it will be a nice colour I have picked for the walls. To all you paint and other colour manufacturers who are reading my blog, haha, as I’m sure there are at least seven of you out there, please can you consider people who are blind when you pick your ridiculous names for your paint/sofa’s and so on? In England the names on the paints now are stupid. Nothing close to what colours they should be. Their more like lady’s exotic names or some futuristic language that will be impossible to translate unless you understand Mumbo-jumbo.

 

Oh, my goodness… I thought it was my Son coming into my living room and I have just said in an over enthusiastic voice.

“Hello Darling.””

It wasn’t my Son… hahahhahah. He replied, my painter that is. Hello Darling, I went red and said oh, you are not the Darling I thought you were and he laughed and replied.

“I am, a darling.”” Hahaha. Bless him.

 

My Son is off to work soon. My dog is in her bed. She was such a good girl today. She walked with extra care to the post box and back. She got me to the box putting her head near it to get her biscuit and then back home. She wasn’t too happy about coming home as she would be out working all day if she could… I was glad to get back as really, I am so scared of falling these days. My knees are in agony after the last time I fell on the road about two years ago. I was with my friend my Waggatail worked really well getting to where we needed to be but on the way home because there was so much traffic and she hates noise, she didn’t work well at all. I took my friends arm she saw a gap in the traffic I continued walking forward as she didn’t let me know what was on her mind to quickly take the opportunity to turn right in a hurry, and go down the huge step. Well, that was it, my ankle bent and I went flying down the step onto the road. Cars whizzing by me around me. My dog loose on the road and my friend got flung across the road too by me as I fell. When I fall I fall? Thank God, my dog came to me and I jumped up getting her to the kerb to safety. Oh, I still have nightmares about that day and I bled all the way home. Thankfully my friend was OK too no blood but I took half of the road inside my knee. I should have gone to hospital as goodness knows what I did to my knees that day but since then I have been in agony.

 

It was a shame as that day my friend was so kind she went around the furniture shop with me and really helped me to pick some lovely things like a desk and so on for our office. But a disastrous ending for sure.

 

 OK, I shall go for now and write to a couple of my Bloggets who have emailed me. But before I go, take a moment to reflect on your week ahead. For me I must try to keep going on the treadmill and not eat before bed. But try to eat as well as I can the rest of the time. Try with a capital T and reflect on the fact I have achieved two days of the mill and eaten proper food for more than two days, probably five days now.

 

Some quotes from me

“If you have to have tears this week, I hope they are tears of joy.””.

“We are all walking a bumpy path so watch out for others not to trip up and hopefully they will watch out for you too, along the way. We will all get there in the end especially if we help each other.”

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

 

 

 

 

A WALK TO REFLECT BY FIONA CUMMINGS

A WALK TO REFLECT

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

a heavy torn blanket

covers the planets

through the navy night

peeping through stars and a moon so bright

a beautiful owl flies over my head

so gracefully, so white

my fingertips are so red

my face is blue

the snow, is unwelcome, in my shoes

the orange glow, from a swaying lamp, gives clues

which direction to go

to find my way home

into the night I roam

the silent bitter dark blue sky above

fills my heart with such love

how blessed I am

to have somewhere to go

as I enter my crooked gate

put my hand in my pocket

to find my key, place it in the door to unlock it

A warm fire will await

On my stand I will hang my coat and hat

Greeting me will be my cat

My love hands me a cup of hot chocolate

I warm near the amber flames

To have a roof over my head

A comfortable bed

Food on my plate

So, a walk to reflect

A chill to reject

For my soul is warm

No matter of life’s storms

Outside my window

The world passes by

The birds fly

The branches sway

Life for me is perfect

A walk to reflect

What life is all about

As long as I have love in my heart

And hugs in my life

Words I can shout

Sweet nothings I can hear

My family near

A view so beautiful

To my maker I’m dutiful

A walk to remind me

The simple things in life are free

To warm to others

As we are all sisters and brothers

A walk to reflect

We all hold the key

It’s called humanity

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

DIARY OF THE RED ROSES BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good afternoon Bloggets. I have just got in from our gym… I went on the treadmill today for nineteen minutes. Pathetic I know but after yesterday fifteen minutes of total agony, today nineteen minutes without any pain at all. It may have been helped by the fact I put comfrey oil on today on my knees. It’s a wonder oil for me. Also, I think yesterday was the first time in ages I have been on the treadmill. Hence the pains.

 

I just get so board on there even with music. If I were the kind of person who liked to listen to audio it would be different. My friends who are blind and go on the treadmill, listen to a talking book and Hub puts his sport on. I listen to upbeat music and my mindset isn’t at all enjoying physical exercise right now. but, I’m still in there even though it’s really cold in our gym…Garage.

 

 Outside is snowing rather heavily and our poor dogs didn’t get out today because of that. It’s really slippy under feet.

 

I’m proud of my tiny achievement, just day two such a lifetime a head but a day at a time is a less daunting process of thought.

 

Hub is in the gym for about an hour and then he goes in again at nights. When he works during the week, he just does the hour after work. And though we have a downstairs toilet, he goes to the upstairs one to get more exercise. … now, that is dedication.

 

Poor Boy Wonder was up at half five this morning again for work. He was on open today he is having a bit of a problem with his boss. He’s not happy at work at the moment and I just hope life sorts itself out for him. He’s a really hard worker and like his Dad a perfectionist. Hub likes things done properly and our boy is the same and when he sees it’s not right, he speaks out… sometimes that’s not good… if things don’t improve I can see BW looking for another job. He has been there a year and a half. Time flies and BW isn’t flying as high as he wants. He has no time for hanging around. He wants to make it to the top and doesn’t want to wait until there is room for him up there. I hope he lasts with that frame of mind as procrastination has been his middle name for certain times in his life. but not in the workplace.

 

Hub made dinner for tonight. I was going to make something that would do for dinner tonight and BW’s lunch for work tomorrow like Lasagne, but Hub got up at silly time and prepared vegetables for a Sunday dinner. So, that’s what we are having tonight…  

 

Bless my Hubster, he has helped me a lot this weekend. Yesterday I had to take down our curtains from our landing window for our decorator coming. Oh, my. What a nightmare Bloggets. A screwdriver was required. D.I.Y, is not our thing… I have never needed a blooming screwdriver to take down a pair of curtains before. And I can’t even tell you how many bits and bobs there were to remove before we could get the flipping things down.

 

Now we have a pole in two halves with two ends and screws to try to reassemble at the end of the week.

 

The worst thing was Hub couldn’t reach the screws so had to get ladders.

On the stairs.

So, a large frame of ladders on small steps. I was terrified. I asked him to wait for our boy to come home from work as he is so tall he could do it without even stretching. But oh no, independent Hub had to do it… it was so dangerous. I ended up holding the steps as they really were not steady as when he got on them they started to go sideways in the direction of the bottom of the stairs.

  

I washed dried and ironed the curtains. Hub said we should get them dried cleaned… what if they shrink? Hahaha. I said there was plenty of spare if they do… and they were far from expensive.

 

We have removed all of my paintings of my angels my American artist friend painted and my red glass clock as well as a mirror. Oh, and a photograph of my Dad and myself that I treasure.

 

A slim chest of drawers was placed from our landing into one of the bedrooms and two tall floor standing candlesticks as well as a children’s wooden and cane chair from when my Son was a tiny child was also removed from our stairs where they turn the corners there is some spare space, as my Husband says, if I have spare space, it has to be filled… haha. Cheeky chops.

 

Now, let me tell you what was on the landing windowsill…. Oh, heck… OK, firstly, it’s a large windowsill.

 Honest.

Three… yes, three Chrystal vases the centre one has red silk roses.

A Chrystal hedgehog. A glass apple with a red rose inside… a glass ladybird it’s got red in it… Getting my red theme? Did I tell you my curtains are red and the candles from the sticks are also red? I like red… there are two Chrystal dishes with lots of marbles and precious gems. And there is a shoe made from Chrystal and a glass bird.

 Oh, and a glass/Chrystal angel!

Oh, I almost forgot. A multicoloured Bohemian glass clown.

hehehehehehe

So, they all got put into our office safely. I washed every part that was washable. Doors etc. let the week begin.

 

  

   

 

 

 

THE SHAKE I NEEDED BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 I received an email from my beautiful special dearest most loved friend who started off as a Blogget and she gave me a telling off I deserve. She told me how she is worried about my health… She’s totally correct. When I think about just how I am treating myself, I shock myself. I went six days last week without one meal. I lived on junk all week and bread of course. I cooked for my family and didn’t bother with myself. Why? No excuse now, my Husband provides very well for me. I can have what I want to eat whenever. Previously if I ate there would be no food for my ex or Son. I had no money apart from half of the money he gave me what I was entitled to as I received Government benefits but only learned when I met my now Hub that actually for years in fact my whole life with my ex, I had only received half of the money I was given. The other half went into the bank of the ex and the half I had, went on certain bills and my Son. I bought him everything he owned all school trips I paid for with the pathetic amount of money I had left. So, food was an issue I just ate a bag of crisps and a chocolate bar as they were little money to buy even though my ex went to work each day with enough food for four people that I made for him.

 

Previous to him, at boarding school, we were fed terrible food and tiny amounts. When I came home either weekends or holidays, my Mum fed me all the foods she knew I loved. So, to me, comfort represented food. Then to have it taken away again when I married just like at school, sent my system into crazy mode. So, now, when I’m feeling worried, stressed fed up, I turn to comfort food. And healthy food isn’t comfort food. But as I’m eating through a huge sandwich who really am I comforting? I know no one can tell me what to eat now days.

 The delight I get when I eat bad foods, is amazing but still, when I have finished what I’m eating, I feel so very bad and guilty. So, who am I hurting, not the cruel people from my past but myself.

 

I’m like an old car that is running out of petrol. When I’m flat, I need fuel. Fuel is fat food. But bad fuel, so my engine breaks down. And the freedom of knowing I can just get what I want when I want now, is the best feeling.

For a short while. Then I realise what I have eaten and it’s not good. It’s carbs only.

 

So, from going from nothing but scraps at boarding school to home food at weekends to nothing for 23 years again and now to having food on supply. But I need to start to buy only food that will A, fill me, B will be good for me and C, won’t exhaust me by making it.

 

I can spend five hours per day in the kitchen. I need to try to half that time. Even if it means making food that will do two days. Yesterday I made a chili as I wrote about and I can tell you it’s been a long time since I enjoyed anything quite like it. And it’s certainly not like any chilli I have tried before anywhere. It was far better and I surprised myself just how good it was and it was full of really good healthy food. I put a tub in my freezer and I’m going to do that a couple of times per week.

 

Tonight, I made Gnocchi. Oh, my it was really really tasty. I boiled the water first then put the Gnocchi in and after a minute I put some granulated garlic in and some washed spinach then sprinkled some salt over the top, only a small amount. After another minute I turned it off and lay the lid on top of the spinach so it steamed. Drained it and poured it into a large oven dish that already had tomatoes and basil sauce in. I added olives and shavings of Parmesan, then lots of black pepper. Very simple but really really homely. I put it in a hot oven with the lid on for only five minutes and served. Wow, gosh, it really was lovely and it will do Boy Wonder for tonight after work and tomorrow for lunch there’s also enough for me to have for lunch if I want too. And I have bought the ingredients to make a vegetarian Lasagne for tomorrow too.

 

Hub had a simple sausage sandwich tonight I didn’t feel bad as he hasn’t been at work and every single other night I cook for him. Tomorrow I shall just put a few roast potatoes and chicken in the oven for him. As he won’t eat vegetarian Lasagne. He’s not even keen on the meat version.

 

Then for Monday, I have ingredients to make a Mushroom Stroganoff, but after that, it will be frozen food, and apart from my chilli from last night, I won’t be eating frozen food. But at least for four nights, I will have had good food. Four nights good three not, better than seven nights of nothing. I really hate frozen food but I’m not adventurous in the kitchen so apart from food that goes into one pot, I’m lost for ideas. I made my special leek pie a couple of nights ago, I forgot to tell you. It’s so easy. Boil lots of potatoes. Fry your leeks in a pan so they are just about cooked. I cook them in butter. Add a little salt. Pop the leeks in a casserole dish and pour over one can have baked beans in tomato sauce. add four cheese slices on top of the beans. Then add another can of beans and another four cheese slices. Then when the potatoes are really soft enough to make mash, do so with lots of butter… adding a teeny amount of salt to the potatoes. Then when the potatoes are all mashed lovely, add to the casserole dish and put in an oven for about twenty minutes. It’s not as healthy as healthy people should eat, but it’s filling comforting and on cold nights is so welcoming. I always find the next day it tastes so much better too. I make a large dish of it so it lasts for BW and myself to have for dinner then there is enough for us both to have some for lunch the next day. You can cook some sausages if you want to go with it. At least it has leeks and beans that are good for you but moreover it means if I make that I eat… I’m the fattest none eating vegetarian in the world. And something has to be done about it. My friend has told me off like a Mummy should her daughter and I need to take note but more so I need to believe in myself. How long can my body run on rubbish and no exercise? So, today I went into the horrid cold garage and did some fast walking on the treadmill. I hated it as my knees are so painful now it just killed. It was like electric shocks stabbing away at my knees. I felt as if my knees were about to smash at any moment and that is abuse of myself for sure. Last year I was doing so well and this year and the back of last year I really have let myself go again. But now I’m unhealthier than I have ever been.

 

My muscles are dying and so will I if I don’t get a grip and get a life. I have more to live for now than I have ever had. A loving husband and my beautiful Son. I have a tiny amount of family members too that I love very much and I have my friend who has really struck home today. Just please God, give me strength to stop abusing myself I need to stop being the victim because I have been one for too many years now. I have no confidence and no push. I’m as weak as weak can be and I hope that will change. It would help if I knew certain people or person was happy, I worry too much.

 

If you are in the same boat as me, let’s row that boat together and try. I may not get till the end of the week but I really hope to goodness I do. I really pray I will.

  

FI'S FRIDAY DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good day to you my dear Bloggets. Few, just sat down for a half hour break. It’s cruising closer to 5pm. I haven’t stopped all day. I just got the delightful doggy doodle run cleaned in time for it to chuck down from the heavens slides of slimy snow like sleet. At first, I was sure it was snow but then the watery substance showed me it was sleet.

 

Changed our bedding and cleaned our bedroom then general tidy of downstairs trying to be as quiet as one can with a vacuum and two dogs wanting to play as Hub is working from home.

 

I have made the dinner for tonight… it started off to be a vegetarian chilli… em… now? I guess one will call it in front of the family a bean feast… The food I cook tastes most times really nice but I’m as far from what I call a good cook. Anything goes and everything gets thrown in the pot…

 

I chopped some mushrooms fried them in a little butter until almost cooked. Then put them in a dish. Then grated loads of mushrooms in the pan where the other ones came from. In a large pan I poured a jar, yep, the J, word. Of chilli sauce… well, it smelled of tomatoes so how much chilli is in there I’m not sure. Spice it up a bit Fifi… In went some yellow mustard… How much? I don’t know, hahaha. Then some Fromage frais, half a pot, how big is the pot? Em. That big!!!!

Some sun-dried tomatoes, how many? I just poured some in… black pepper teeny bit of salt loads of pepper. When the grated mushrooms were gently fried I poured that into the pan then grated a courgette into the frying pan along with a grated onion and yellow pepper and chopped garlic. Then threw that into the big pan with the mushrooms I cooked earlier stirring all the time and then the fun began. Tins…cans… gosh, Bloggets, how did blind people manage before Apps like Tap Tap See? Seriously, I went for eighteen years before I had such an App.  I do remember vaguely, rattling tins trying from week to week to remember the size of the tin I just opened the feel of it, was the wrapper shiny, now, there’s a good one, Hub bought some shoes, yes, my mind digresses again… you know me, I write it as it is… he told my friend he knew the difference between patent leather and normal leather because the pantent was shiny… it was only weeks later when we realised, she must have wondered how we knew patent was shiny? Well it feels softer, glossy. So, some canned foods have a glossy wrapper on them and some are rough. Some are small some large and some have pull can lids some don’t. well I still to some degree do all of the above, but now I have the safety blanket of my App on my iPhone, it’s easier, but most times it takes ages for my phone to tell me what is written on the product. Sometimes it’s so annoying as it will say something like.

“human hand holding can!”” Or, blue and white can… very helpful. But on about the third time, it normally at least gives me a clue. Today it worked so well for me most cans it read first time. Wow, wonderful. So, in went a can of five mixed beans in tomato sauce. Then a can of butter beans I drained those along with a can of red kidney beans. Stirring the pan and then it waits for us to eat it later. It smells delicious. What it tastes like, is another matter.

 

Well here we go; another weekend is here. And on Monday, I have a week of hell as I have a painter coming to do my landing, stairs and small hall. He said he will be five days max, I hope that’s all he will be. Remember I used to have another painter he came for years. But modern ways took over and he now faces his days in a desperate state.

  It’s a shame as he was an amazing decorator. Everyone who saw what he did were blown away just how brilliant his cutting in was and the gloss work felt so smoothed. Goodness knows what I have for the walls. I hope a nice honey kind of colour… heck, what colour even is honey? Like a golden brown? In my minds eye that is what colour it was but my memory is from almost twenty years ago and I have written before now, how I’m forgetting colours.

 

So, this weekend I shall be taking down curtains and moving everything so the decorator has nothing to do but paint. As for my light fixture, I really can’t take that down and it cost a lot of money so he will either have to try to remove it and then hopefully he will be able to put it back up or he will have to cover it and paint around it… he comes with great words about him from a couple we know and he is the brother of my neighbour/friend.

 

Thankfully my eye pain is a much needed zero today it’s rare that I have no pain at all but I’m glad of a rare day.

 

BW working until late tonight bless him. Our Son works so hard. It’s close to his 21^st birthday. I don’t have a clue what to buy him for his birthday, Hub and I wanted to take him on holiday but he won’t leave the side of Shamrock. Not even for a night… Gosh, to think the life he could have if he were a little more relaxed as she is by the way, she does loads of things away from BW and she’s right and normal for doing so, but our boy wonder is glued to her. Even when he works, Shamrock pops in and she has joined the gym too with him. He used to go there on his own, now he has his partner.

 

Shamrock brought us a lovely bar of chocolate the other night, it was delicious mind you, I gave away four of our bars of chocolate from Christmas last night to the people we go to the quiz with as really, I went to put a pair of jeans on. Oh. Boy. Heck. Em. Well, let’s say, after trying to tell myself they must have shrunk in the wash, I had to face facts. Since Christmas I have put loads of weight on.  

I’m talking loads.

Like, well,

 loads!!!

So, what to do about it? Hmm.

 

On that note I shall go and see what else there is for me to do around the house. Funny if you can see, you see jobs that need doing… I just do them like a rota so if in between something looks as if it needs cleaning, tough… I also think I work harder than what I would if I had sight because I probably do things that don’t need doing… Have a fun Friday and before I go to give you a chuckle, I just asked my Alexa Dot to tell me the time and her reply was? Hahahaha. Wait for this one.

“I speak English but can help with Spanish if you enable the skill…””

Nice to know that Alexa, but what time is it?