SEEING INTO THE FUTURE

India, Spain, America, Germany, United Kingdom, Belgium, Portugal, Kenya, Netherlands and Canada are just some of my Bloggets who are reading today. How are you all? Well I left you early last night; early for us is ten in the evening. To go to bed as my Husband had to be up at 5a.m to catch a 6.a.m train, so to give him a chance to sleep. Well, he can sleep on a clothes line. Really, he makes me laugh. He will get into bed and say. “Oh, I doubt I will be able to sleep tonight.” 

Yeah, right, about three minutes later, the walls are rattling.

 

Me? Em, nope. I’m lying there forcing myself to close my eyes. Thoughts buzzing through my head, drilling into my skull like a workmen’s tool. I then put on my IPod, with earphones of course. After an hour I feel tired. I turn it off and about an hour later, I’m putting it back on after having no sleep at all. Well, fast forward some hours. Last night or this morning, it was half three before I remember feeling as though I was drifting off. That was after getting up and eating two apples. Haha haha. Yep, your Fifi Blogget is a strange one.

 

The alarm went off at five and poor Hub got up and ready, thankfully last night he put his bag together. He’s amazing he remembers everything. My ex had to be reminded about everything and I can tell I get on Hubs nerves when I do a check list with him.

 

 Well, as ever the taxi was late. But he got there on time.  He had to make a change too. I hate it when he does that. Just more for me to worry about. But again thankfully he managed and the last time I spoke to him by phone he was in a railway café with a coffee and a breakfast snack. As it’s a long day for him and his meeting wasn’t until ten so he would be an hour early, but the trains were fully booked as he found out yesterday for a later time.

 

He has taken his faithful Long Chops with him. She will be happy she is working. He has left her at home the past two days as she wasn’t too well at the weekend….

 

Oh but we had shirt gate before he left. I got him a shirt last night from the robe and he put it on today and he didn’t recognise it… Heck, I hope it’s not one of the girls? Hehehe Pyjama top? Oh my word. We just wouldn’t know, I must say when he wore it, I also didn’t recognise it. Our girls are tiny slim so I doubt it is theirs, but you never know? That is the the number one thing that really gets to me. Clothes. Sorting them out. I really can’t deal with it. I’m getting worse too. I think it’s because we have too many. It’s not too bad for me as I remember my clothes but for Hub? As especially because my friend Vivi buys him shirts. Mind you, they are almost always blue.

 

I was thinking last night whilst the workmen were doing their job inside my brain. Imagining if I was to get sight because of a fantastic breakthrough in some years to come?  The moment when bandages would be removed from my eyes. Gosh, would I be too afraid to look? What if the operation hadn’t worked? How would my emotions cope? I guess I would be alright. As I would be no different to now. Yes of course disappointed, but grateful that the medics were trying to do something. So I was stage one, Okay, bring on stage two…

 

So this time it worked. My eyes would open to a brand new world. Wow, I would see the face of the man who performed this life changing achievement. I would search the room for my Husband seeing on the way to him items in the room I have never been able to see, even when I was partially sighted. I probably wouldn’t recognise what the tools were. Then my Husband. Oh wow, what would he look like? As I’ve said before, last time I saw him he was twelve. We both were. Oh the thought of seeing him now? As for my Son? He was one when I saw him last. In five days, he will be eighteen. A man. How would my heart deal with such shocks? Gosh, the thought of all of that and that is before I got to a mirror? Looking at myself may finish me off. Hehehe. When I could see, I could never see my whole face in the mirror. Only parts of it. Like for example, I wanted to see my eyes, I would look to where I thought they were and be able to see one eye at a time and nothing around it. I would move around my face and in my mind, put it all together like a jigsaw puzzle!

 

So if I were to be given sight? I would be able to see my full face and even what is around it. Like what is in the room. Or a long mirror and I have to add wide, hehehe, my full body too? Really? How would this be? Gosh, really, it’s so far away this thought, it’s scary when you begin to analyse it all. But then after the shock, comes the living.

 

No more hiding away, no more fear of the outside world. No more summers stuck indoors. Picnics, parks, scenery streams, rock formations, birds bees and butterflies. Green grass. Colour green, yes, reminds me what is green? I have a vivid imagination of that colour, but when I think of it now, it’s almost grey. All my colours are turning grey. Red is one of the last colours I remember, oh, and blue. If I really think hard, yellow and purple. But fading they are so fading to the back of my mind.

 

It’s so weird to think of seeing again. As for a third of my life has been with closed curtains. But now my mind sees what’s before me. It’s so odd. I have pictures as though I can see, if I’m putting something in the microwave, I can see a microwave. Now sometimes I forget and see for example a red dish. I ask my Son to pass me the red dish as he is closer to it? He replies, Mum its blue. Blue? Really? Then I remember I had a red one the same some years ago. Before I lost my sight, but in my mind, the dish I would whisk things in, was red. All the time it was blue, but my mind’s eye saw a red dish. So a white microwave? Nope, it’s silver.

 

So I would go from my mind seeing, to my eyes again seeing, so I doubt it will be like turning on a light. I would have to teach myself everything again. Oh but I would make a great student, so please miracle man or woman, keep those experiments going and don’t give up the fight for sight?

 

SLEEPY NOT QUITE

Whilst my big dog chews up a toy, my little dog tells me what her sister is doing, in fear of getting the blame, my Hub is on the treadmill again and I await teen coming in from work for his tea. Or Dinner I should say. Though it’s so late, it’s more like supper.

 

Got to pack with Hub a small overnight bag. He’s on business for two days. He had a busy day today; he came home and was here ten minutes before he had to go back out for an emergency meeting. Home fed and now exercising!

 

It’s so cold outside. Really I don’t know where the snow is hiding.

I’m dreading the next two days. They are going to be so long with Hub away. I can’t stand it. I don’t know how women deal with their Husbands being away say in the army?

 

I hate it. I feel sick. Just so alone. I look forward to him coming home at half five and us being together. We are so close. I really love him and need to know he is near me. I guess that is my insecurities and me not going out. I do have a meeting later on in the week with someone who wants something written, but apart from that, last time I was out was Saturday with Trix and the Like man. Our friends.

 

I should go out tomorrow to the shop, but you know when there is nothing you need and you just go out for the sake of it? If only I knew how to get to other places?

 

I can’t believe where this time is going. I am thinking I have plenty of time before teen’s birthday? Em, no, it’s only seven days away. Six before his driving test. Oh too quick. Slow down? I haven’t got him a gift. I treat him to his birthday day out with his friends. Thankfully managed to do that without the interference of the person who he is seeing. She was away thank God so he was able to enjoy himself with his pals. I guess she will have some kind of wonderful celebration planned for him this weekend? I bet she has a ring for him too. Haha will tell you why later.

 

This weekend our friend Magda is coming we are totally boring so I fear she will not be entertained enough but she will get a wrest from her busy life. Bless her she is travelling miles by train and taxi’s.

 

We have had a lovely evening. Teen came in from work happy. Glad to know he still enjoys his job.

 

Oh I have a head full of poems today. I have to hold back on them. I could write all day and night and not be done. It’s crazy. Hub has to be up at five in the morning though for a six o clock train. I hope there are staff at the station? TO give him some assistance? If not, I don’t know what he will do, though if he can manage Africa India Karia and other far away countries, I am sure he can manage his hometown train station.

 

So before bed, here are some dreamy sleepy quotes from people like Dr Seuss, Phyllis Diller and   George Karlin

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

 

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”

 

“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.' If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen. They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.'

INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHTS

Words from greats like Helen Keller, Groucho Marx and many others inspire me to at least try to think in a different manner. Together we can learn to perhaps be a little more understanding. A little more caring and open and a little more positive, as positivity will make us live longer and the longer we are on this earth, the more chance our dreams have to come true.

I have for many years endeavored to make this vital truth clear; and still people marvel when I tell them that I am happy. They imagine that my limitations weigh heavily upon my spirit, and chain me to the rock of despair. Yet, it seems to me, happiness has very little to do with the senses. If we make up our minds that this is a drab and purposeless universe, it will be that, and nothing else. On the other hand, if we believe that the earth is ours, and that the sun and moon hang in the sky for our delight, there will be joy upon the hills and gladness in the fields because the Artist in our souls glorifies creation. Surely, it gives dignity to life to believe that we are born into this world for noble ends, and that we have a higher destiny than can be accomplished within the narrow limits of this physical life.

 

Optimism is the most important human trait, because it allows us to evolve our ideas, to improve our situation, and to hope for a better tomorrow. Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

 

Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.  

 

I CAN'T TELL YOU BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I CAN’T TELL YOU

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

The brisk northern wind in my hair

Silver diamond tears as I stare

Ice leaves me without motion

Saying goodbye to devotion

As I look to the ocean

From this cliff as my potion

I’m ready to fall

As I hear voices call

Pure white gulls fly

Through the watery sky

I ask myself why?

How did it all come to this?

My lips without a kiss

My arms empty

I want peace and to feel bliss

To have all I miss

As howling air sings to me

My eyes blurred so I can’t see

Is this really my destiny?

Is this what the Lord planned for me?

I’m dizzy now

  I ask how

How do I do this jump to end the pain?

Heavenly tears rain

Icicles hang on rocks 

Am I insane?

Sand on my face cuts

As I feel the urge to leave go

Hands trembling

 Body descending

Future depending

No time to go back now

Lines of terror, on my brow

Life before me

Once again I see

Then I’m in total shock

As my head hits the rock

But my spirit soul rises

What happened next?

Full of surprises

For this I can’t talk about

Though so badly I want to shout

As if only you all knew

Your hopes were so true

But if I tell

I will be sent to hell

I had a close escape from there

But thankfully my angel did care

And forgave me

For she knew of my pain

And fought for a second chance

So I can again

Laugh sing and dance

But my words I can’t tell

The fragrants I can smell

Water fresh from a well

Only tears of joy

Soldiers don’t deploy

Only peace is hear

We know of no fear

But I can’t tell you how or why

Just if you believe look to the sky

For here there is a land

Where you will never be alone

Or without a helping hand

But I can sadly not show you where it is yet

Though if you wait you will learn I bet

If you don’t believe

Then your time may come

But meanwhile have fun

And enjoy your world

For I can’t give you my map to my path of gold

My fortune has been sold

And I need nothing materialistic

For this world is magic

But it’s not your time

Just wait in the line

I had to come hear

For my heart was unclear

My veins burst

And I wanted no Hurst

I had to be first

Before you all

So when you need me

Just call

Fly don’t fall

I was weak

No words to speak

No pun intended

No tongue and cheek

My soul climbed high

Though my body sunk

I felt drunk

With life’s fluid

I was truant

To life as I knew it

Though I can’t tell you where you will go

I can assure you when it’s time you will know

Goodbye from the sky

Don’t ask why

For I can’t tell you

But I also can’t lie

Look to the stars at night

And know my plight

I gave up the fight

But you know what’s right

My wings are ready

My cloak material there’s plenty

I will guide you to live your life you were given

Until it’s time for heaven

Don’t knock on this door

For you have been here before

And will not be welcome until your name is called

You are on your land so small

To find who gave you your call

As you have a place there

Open your heart and share

Admire the beauty

And respond to your duty

Seas so bitter

Gulls of litter

Salt so brash

Rocks that smash

Waters so deadly

Motions a medley

Pictures so real

Thoughts surreal

Forbidden fruit I peal

No emotion I feel

No words are spoken

About the word heaven

As we are not allowed to say

Until you have your day

 

 

Copyright Fiona Cummings 2015

RECIPE 18 BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Recipe 18

By Fiona Cummings

A birthday cake just for you

With ingredients read below

Sugar as sweet as you

And icing colour blue

Jam and cream to bind together

As my love for you will last forever

Eighteen candles glow

As each year is as so

Aged 1

I was so proud of you my Son

Aged two

We were bonded like glue

At three

 I told the world what you meant to me

Four you started school

You were no fool

That was clear

Five you were so brave without fear

Stood up for yourself

At the age of six

 You entertained with jokes and tricks

Seven I had to start to let you go

My heart burned

 Until you returned

At eight

I had to wait at the school gate

Giving you independence

I couldn’t watch for you as my eyes didn’t work

But you found me with open arms

At nine you had so many charms

Ten you were really mature

But still we were so close

All sick animals you wanted to cure

 Eleven you began to pose

Little girls fell in love with you

Hair golden and eyes ice blue

Big changes darling when you were twelve

I’m sure you went through hell

But it was for the best for both of us

And like everything you created no fuss

At thirteen 

My boy a teen

Where had the years gone

Still caring and sharing

Your heart was full of love

Fifteen your hand held mine like a glove

Sixteen now a young man

Seventeen for you I do all I can

 But now you’re eighteen though in age a grown man

You will always be that baby in a pram

I will always be your mam

My home will forever be yours

With open heart and open doors

Now blow out your candles and make a wish

I want to say happy birthday to you

A hug and a kiss

Son I love you

 

Copyright Fiona Cummings 2015

 

MONDAYS DIARY HASH AND BOOBS

I think this is stereotyping blind people. I read this in the group I’m in today.   

Women being screened for breast cancer in Germany may find themselves in the hands of a blind examiner. The idea has been around for a few years, and unpublished research suggests that it really works - that blind people can in fact detect tumours earlier than their sighted counterparts

 Apparently blind people have detected a third more tumours than before. I have my reservations about this, but if it’s true, well, great, as I said in the group, more jobs for us. I know we are supposed to be good at massage. I will tell you why I think this is, because we are not looking around the room. There is nothing to remove our attention from the job we are doing. So we focus pardon the pun, on our clients. Listen to me, as though I am a professional masseur? Haha, well, you know, when money is hard to find? Better than the red light?

 

Oh there is a lady in the group who said today she went to her Doctors and went and sat on a man’s knee. I didn’t ask her how she knew it was a man. Remember when I went with Hub and we were looking for a seat and I put my hand right in between a man’s legs? Hahahahahaha. As I said then, he wasn’t very excited to see me.

 

Obviously he also was blind, and couldn’t see the delectable dolly bird coming towards him, right?

 

Haha. Now now, no need to be cheeky.

 

Well tea was a success. Hub loved it. I made Corned beef hash. I aske our Son if he wanted hash for tea and he was horrified. Well, it took me a while before I realised that hash these days means something else.

 

Basically it’s mash potato I also mashed sweet potato a little turnip and chopped onions. Then added some butterbeans and sweetcorn. Then when it’s all mashed with butter. I added the corned beef. Hub loved it said it was like his Mum used to make bless her soul. I do miss that lady. We got on so well. I loved it when she used to come to our house. It was so relaxing.

 

Well, it’s that time when I have to force myself to go on the treadmill. Thing is, I weighed myself today after over a week of exercise and I have put on more weight. But I do feel better when I do it.

 

It’s so cold and dark and windy though and the mill is in the garage.

 

Hub  was in there for half an hour. I have to find out what happened. I am smiling as I think one of our neighbours opened the garage as I heard talking and the door lifting. I hope he the neighbour didn’t bang Hub on the head like I did a couple of weeks ago? The door lifts inside the garage and hub is on the mill just where the door comes down at the top. I almost knocked his brains out when I did it? Haha haha. Ee, it’s not funny. Imagine that and he’s out for the count and I can’t find him? Hahahahahaha.

“Hub, where are you?”

No answer!

 

Hope your Monday so far has been a good one. Only four days till the weekend. Xxxx

TALKS OVER TOAST THE ILLUMINATI

Good day Bloggets. Today was another one of those dark dreary days when the battle began between the duvet and the dawn. What did I have to get up for? Dirty dishes dusting and a fight with the fabrics from the clothes basket. Or stay in bed for a little while longer and dream of designs, daffodils and dancing with my love in a waterfall in Germany. Haha, yep, we were twelve when that happened. It was in Cologne and it was the summer that broke us up for twenty eight years. The time we danced after then was our wedding day.

 

 So my dreams were not quite as I expected. They were as weird as ever. I again could see in my dream. I was wearing glasses this time. I walked along sand dunes and dipped my toes into the cold northern sea. As my feet sunk into the damp sand, my life passed in front of  me. But a life I didn’t know. It was simply odd. I was being driven by someone with my eye condition. He didn’t wear glasses but used a mobile phone with huge numbers. Scary as he drove me to my destination. If he needed that kind of mobile how could he be safe to drive? The really strange thing was, his eyes were mine. As I looked at him, they were as blue as mine were and of the same shape mine used to be as a young girl. Who was he? Not my teen for sure. I did wonder if he were some relative of mine, as I don’t know them my birth ones that is and I wondered if a sibling had developed my eye condition. This is how I dream; they are too true to be not true. If you know what I mean. I oftern think we all live a double life. When we dream we visit somehow our soul family. A mirror family on the other side. Other side of what?

 

Brings me around to a conversation teen and I had this morning at the breakfast table. Oh I love his brain. He is so knowledgeable. He got talking about the Illuminati conspiracy. I asked him what that was. I knew of course, but wanted to know what he knew. From a seventeen year olds perspective. As I’m equally interested in knowing about his views on whom he will vote for this year. It’s going to be the first year he will be allowed to vote. So we had the political points put over as we passed the butter and poured cups of tea. Now it was the Illuminati conspiracy.

 

A global elite society that is either in control of the world or is seeking control. As with most conspiracy theories, beliefs regarding the Illuminati vary widely. As a result, it is virtually impossible to give a synopsis of the’s becoming a cult.

 

If I were to attempt to summarise the Illuminati conspiracy, I would say this. It began as a secret society under the direction of Jesuit Priests. A council of five men, one  for each of the points on the pentagram, formed what was called (The ancient and illuminated Seers of Bavaria) They were high order Luciferian Freemasons, thoroughly immersed in mysticism and Eastern disciplines, seeking to develop the super powers of the mind.      Their alleged plan and purpose is world domination

“For whom their lord precisely is? This lord varies widely.

 

The Illuminati are alleged to be the primary motivational forces encouraging global governance, a one world religious ethic, and centralised control of the world’s economic systems. Organisations such as the United Nations, The international monetary fund, the World Bank and the the international criminal court are seen as tentacles of the Illuminati.

 

According to the Illuminati conspiracy, they are the driving force behind efforts to brainwash the gullible masses through thought control and manipulation of beliefs, through the press, the educational curriculum and the political leadership of the nations.

 

It is said that they have a private board of elite interlocking delegates, who control the worlds banks it is said that they create inflations, in sessions and depressions and manipulate the world markets, supporting certain leaders and coups and undermining others to achieve their overall goals.

 

So does the Illuminati have anything to do with the bible? Yes, as there are many prophesies in the bible, that are interpreted by most to point to an end times one  world Government, a one world  monetary system, and a one world religion. Many Bible prophecy interpreters see this new world order, as being controlled by the antichrist, the Messiah!  So for me the last word in this above paragraph, Antichrist, scares me. SO are they devil worshipers?

 

No religion would this really mean no wars? No. I’m sure not. Wars are the excuse. But if we all believed in one God, we must surely get on better? We sadly would still fight, as evil always will prevail. But I would like to think that one big church one big family.

 

Few, so talks over toast?

OUR GIRLS POEM

OUR GIRLS POEM

Alice Osborne

 When the earth was begun, He'en bore star, moon and sun, And o'er waters stretched great azure sky. Beings both great and small, Made all manner of call, From deep cavern to treetop on high. To Morn's endless delight, The sun blazoned with light, Watched he secrets of life by its flame. Bore he love and pleasure, In such equal measure, That he longéd it's mirth to proclaim. But Night, she stayed somber, And let her mind wander, Thinking 'life is so terribly frail.' So with airs of duty, She his poor Earth's beauty, And made haven in darkness: a gaol. Morn woke and aspied her, Through eyes filled with slumber, From beneath moonshine's flickering veil. As he viewed from afar, Thought he: 'She, like a star, Holds my heart in that visage so pale.' But knowing not nature, Not mutual creator, Doomed himself to a fate worse than death. For she with no escort, Hath no wish for consort, Bares seclusion to her final breath. So she cleavéd Morn's heart, With a tears silver dart, And his eyes were awakened to pain. The sun's discordant glare, Laid God's creatures sins bare, He reached out for Night's hand, but in vain.

OLDER PARENTS v YOUNGER PARENTS

 When I was pregnant with my Son, I was told to my astonishment, that I was considered an old Mother. I was 28. Yes, really a perfect age in my opinion. Not too old to suffer from ailments and have a child who would be constantly worrying about his Mum dying and old enough to have a house and savings. I had been married for ten years. We had done the holiday scene and outings with friends. I was ready to give my time now to my child.

 

The Mothers, who were not made to feel alienated, were the sixteen year olds who during the time I was in hospital post giving birth, stood outside my door to gather as it was near the exit. They met for their break to smoke. They had given their commands to the nurses to look after their babies and whilst waiting for the rest of the young Mothers to congregate, they would discuss who was keeping theirs, and who was “Getting rid of!”

 

The pain I suffered in there was dreadful. Lying with my new born in my arms. In a room of brown fog. As when I had my baby, the trauma of it all seriously affected my eyesight for a week at least. I saw everything but as though looking through sun glasses. Everything had a film of brown mud on it. A filter of distress.

 

My innocent baby lay close to me. I broke my heart as I thought back to the oven that gave birth to me who coldly rejected me as soon as she could. How could she do this? Hearing the cold calculating cross words from the youths outside of my room. Brought back my own existence.

 

I was so alone. My parents couldn’t get out of the house without my ex Husband bringing them and my ex was either working or playing. Let’s say he wasn’t a devoted Husband or ever devoted Father. Thankfully he is so much better now towards my boy.

 

So hours alone. I didn’t have a clue what to do with a baby. How to look after one. When my youngest Niece was a baby, I was at boarding school. There were no babies in our family.

 

I had one friend at that time. My one friend was in Russia. I had not been out of the house on my own in years. All I knew was I adored and lived for my Son. I felt the pain in that room what I had been going through for my twenty odd years. No way would my Son ever feel like that. I wanted to choke those girls and say to them, their babies didn’t ask to be born. Now they were, they were going to be rejected. Did they know how those babies would feel growing up? The nights of pain and nightmares. The constant fear of being stolen by their natural parents? Would they like me be given to older parents?

 

Which brings me onto this subject? My parents were old. So old that I have been without them since my Son was one. Since I was almost thirty. Too young to lose parents.

 

When I was a very small child, I truly suffered at bedtime wondering if my parents would die through the night. There was a gap of forty and forty-seven years.

 

I grew up with my Mum always being ill. Needing tablets. My Dad was grey before his time and he had two major accidents in his life which lead to him being hospitalised for months. One time almost dying. When I was at school, I lay in bed with a lump in my throat. Trying hard not to cry to wake up the girls in my dorm. I missed them so much. I worried about them and then I had the shame of friends at school asking me if they were my Grandparents. You knew your parents were different. My friends had Mums and Dads so much younger than mine. But I loved them more for it. Though so wish they had been younger. But I was adopted so those who wish to adopt, normally try for their own children for years before realising there is something not right. By the time they adopt, they are older. There should be a cut off period. Having said that, my parents had more love in their little fingers than any parents I knew of as a child.

Age doesn’t stop you from loving but it does stop life. It was like being brought up by Grandparents and that is another subject. I knew my Nana until I was fifteen but as for the other three Grandparents? They were long gone before I was of an age when I could benefit from them.

 

Sadly my Son was the same. Because my parents died when my boy was one, and my ex’s parents didn’t want to know. They didn’t even want to know my ex., so his child has no chance.

 

So as the generations build down the line, they all somehow suffer.

 

I was a good age. I am sure I was, but my parents weren’t so my child followed my life. I had no money to look after my baby when I was younger and because I am the kind of Mother who is devoted to her child, I wouldn’t ever leave him to be looked after by another, so my limited life I had would have been lesser.

 

I know someone who is an old Father but who has a young wife. He obviously loves his new-born. But fast forward some years and his child will be infected by sadness prematurely.

 

What a bourdon to place on someone? I am sure that older parents are more loving but the practicality of it all doesn’t benefit the child.

 

I know children who are born to older parents and they are so much nicer and tolerant than those who are born to young parents. The children with elderly parents have more morals. So a better person will come out of it for sure. But not a happier child.

 

Sometime when I see old parents with babies I feel sad and feel like the parents have been selfish. Even now I suffer with the loss of my Mother. I now wish to be loved and cared for in a way that only a Mother can care for their child. When I am having problems with my Son, I have no one to turn to to ask advice. You know when you need a mother’s word?

 

It hurts.

 

TRIX AND THE LIKE MAN

Hi Bloggets. Well sad to say our friends Trix and Like have left the building.

 

Oh but they left in style. Hahahahaha.

I can’t believe what happened? Basically Hub received a text to say the taxi had arrived. So off we all went to the front door to wave bye bye. Well, no engine sounds. So We all came back in again. Hub said it must be out there. So Like opened the door and as we stood there him and I calling the driver, as I thought he came and pulled away. Like said

“Some taxi drivers don’t have the brains they were born with.” I laughed saying wouldn’t it be funny if he was pulled up on our drive way? Hub said really what an idiot he is obviously at the wrong house? Oh the name calling went on. Still no driver, brave like decided to go to look for him with his white cane. So off he went then I heard a whacking sound as if cane to metal? Hahaha. Yep, white cane to car. They had contact. So the driver was there with his engine off. Just sitting looking at us. I mean, some people are stupid. And he charged then almost £11. So I think that was his pay back gift for us calling him. You know, what would it have taken for him to say this way? He saw our friend walking up the drive obviously looking for the taxi, but didn’t have the brain to let us know he was there.

 

Sad it was a very short visit as we were to go out tonight, but plans have changed. So they could have stayed longer. Hub just said we should rent out a cottage as we all get on so well. Really, we do laugh. I have so much fun with my friends who can’t see. And we all went off to our restaurant that would have looked funny to drivers passing by. Two with guide dogs and two with canes. All heading off. Well, I go in front and Hub navigates at the back.  Like man, is great with his cane though as he does have a guide dog but leaves her at home as we have two as well. Just another tick on our page for independence. The four of us did it. There and back. No bruises cuts or falls. And like normally sighted couples we were able to enjoy a meal out.

 

Oh I miss them already. It’s too long in between seeing each other. The house feels sad now.

 

Glad to say teen had a great day yesterday. He went out with his friends we paid for him to have a fun day for his birthday. Then he went out with them for a meal and more boys’ time.

 

It’s so very cold out there. Oh my word. I’m cold to the bone. Icy winds too.

 

I’m going to have a lovely hot bath later and just chill. I have lots of nice things to pamper myself with so pamper I will. Not sure if teen is out tonight with it! But he’s working till quite late.

 

A week before Magda is due. Our friend from Scotland. Then we are off to see Lionel Richie in concert. We are staying at my brothers overnight. Then off to lunch on the Sunday. Looking forward to that. Then I expect a few months where it will be quiet. Though will try to get Trix and Like man, to finish off our half day. Hub and I were meant to be going out tonight that is why their visit was short. But we can’t go now. Can’t say much at the moment as it’s all a bit hush hush.  More on that later.

 

I wrote the above earlier. Now I can tell you why we can’t go out, circumstances prevented. Dogs again I guess you could say. Our friend is having a surprise birthday party. Well it will be well underway now. I hope she has a great time. Sure she will.  At least we were able to give her a gift a few days ago on her actual birthday. So don’t feel too bad about going. Our dog sitter has really been letting us down of late. Our Son said he will look after them when we go to our concert. But I may get someone to pop in just to make sure he is doing as he promised. As the last twice I asked him for help with staying with them, fingers clicked and he ran. This time we hope we can trust him to be strong and tell it where to go if it asks to see him.

 

It’s not like we go out much. Last time at night was New Year so two months ago. We can leave the dogs for up to four hours but no longer.

 

So much going through my head right now, can’t think straight to write properly.

 

It’s almost eleven in the evening now. Hub is on the treadmill. He has lost 4lbs this week. So he has done so well. 9lbs since Christmas. I have almost put on what he has lost. I guess they had to go somewhere? I tell you teen will be putting on weight soon, as he has now stopped enjoying the gym. I really didn’t think that would happen. Well, someone had to pay a visit to it just to check it out, and guess what? He hardly goes since her visit. Well last time was over a week ago and he used to go three or four times per week.

 

You know the expressions kick it to the kerb and wake up and smell the coffee? I love those expressions.

 

You know I have gift vouchers for a clothes shop I like I received them from my friend for my birthday and I have not used them yet? Not like me. I think it’s because I have had loads to do of late with writing. No time really to browse. Must take time out to do so. Not sure what I would like. Shame I bought a lovely dress to wear tonight a few weeks ago. I guess it will keep.

 

Oh Sunday tomorrow. I wish I was going to my Mums for Sunday dinner like way back? I miss her dinners so much. Of course her too, but her food was so homely. If only I could turn back time but change situations? Bring my parents back to life. What would they make of my now Hub? I bet they would love him. Though he is totally different to my ex the absolute opposite in every way. As I am to my Husbands ex. She is five foot. Under eight stone and dark hair going grey. Well-spoken and sensible. Hahaha. See what I mean? Not me. I’m blonde, tall, and not under eight stone…………

 

Oh as I hear Hub on the treadmill I really should go out there and do my minutes? But it’s so cold. And late. Oh but I should?

 

Tell me how to lose weight and please tell me how to really really want to? I was reading about some new super pills, where you lose it and you don’t have to starve. Or even exercise. Well, too good to be true? Hmm. They are natural. Raspberry pills. Yep, raspberry. Does this mean they make you do raspberries?

 

I wonder if I should give them a go?

 

Okay, I’m off on the mill. Until later with love. X

WHILST THE CAT'S AWAY THE MICE SHALL PLAY

Tomorrow is a full day and night for us. My dear little friend is coming our friend from school and her Hubby. Great time we will have. Then out in the evening. More on that later.

 

Today our Son had a great day out with his friends. Fantastic. At last he could be himself and not have his hands tied. They went clay pigeon shooting and 4 by 4 driving. He loved it followed by an outing with his friends.

 

I’m so pleased we could do this for him and no one was here to spoil it for him.

 

Well, he will be married next birthday I’m sure so she can arrange it for him then. Some designer restaurant I expect so this was his last fun birthday before settling down with slippers next to the coal fire.

 

Hub working from home today and apart from seeing our Son off, I have not seen him. He is in the office.

 

I’m glad to say our canary, he’s Irish you know? Haha. Is back to being a songster again. He is still plump. We can’t understand it. He has always been so skinny. Gosh, I hope he is alright? But he is in tune for sure today.

 

So what’s making the news?

Tensions with Russia could blow up into all-out war, posing “an existential threat to our whole being”, Britain’s top general in Nato has warned.

Gen Adrian Bradshaw, deputy commander of Nato forces in Europe, said there was a danger Vladimir Putin could try to use his armies to invade and seize Nato territory, after calculating the alliance would be too afraid of escalating violence to respond.

“Well we were talking about this last night at the dinner table. I said if there is not a world war 3 in the next year, I will be amazed. As for Putin is dangerous and out of control. Why does he so badly want wars? And why are Russian aircrafts flying over our space? Three times this year.

 

Counter-terror police have issued an appeal for information about three London schoolgirls who are believed to have fled to Islamic State-controlled Syria.

“Why? Oh Why?

Just a thought, I am sure that the US and perhaps other countries will have some kind of chemical that can cause aggression I am positive that has been tested over the past year. So if this is true, can’t  they produce a chemical which will have the reverse affect? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Two Gay murderers in prison are to marry. This is the first time this has ever happened... A spokesperson said it would take place at no cost to the taxpayer and that there was no possibility that they would share a cell.

“Why even allow it? Our world is going crazy

 

I like this story. Scientists claim to have created a guilt-free chocolate that makes skin look years younger. Esthechoc is so rich in healthy anti-oxidants that a small chunk - containing just 38 calories - can boost the blood supply to the skin and reduce signs of aging.

“I bet it tastes dreadful? It has to doesn’t it? Nothing that is good for us tastes nice.

 

This is sad. Cosmetics giant L'Oreal has been urged to do more to research customers' allergies to hair dye following the death of a mum-of two.

 

So no special news sadly. But if we all want peace, and we start to believe in ourselves, and kindness. Then we will stand together and hear so much good news. Until then, our headlines will continue until we end humanity as we know it.

I am off to a concert in a few weeks. Sadly our dog sitter again has let us down. She is fully booked. Again my fault as I should have booked her weeks ago. But we think we have an alternative.

 

It’s so cold here tonight. I have had to crank the heating up. Hub is on the treadmill so he will be hot. I’m thinking about going on and you know what they say, it’s the thought that counts.

 

So what are your plans for the weekend? I remember I used to hate that question when Hub was at his last job as the weekend to us was the same as through the week. Hub was normally abroad.

 

Oh before I go. I must tell you this story. This will interest my friend Yam. You know how I believe that our lives are mapt out for us? Well, I was talking to someone yesterday who is an illustrator and is working on a children’s book right now. So, am I brave enough to take the next step?

 What is, the next step? Oh I need a push. Or some kind of help. I’m a car without petrol. Give me petrol please and listen to my engine purr.

 

Gosh, that sounds like a euphemism