RP FILE CHILDREN AND FUTURE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Inherited diseases like what I have with my eyes, leaves some people a question of whether or not to have children. From what I can gather, in my case, there was a 50, 50% chance that my baby could have my eye condition and 100 percent that he will carry it and his children will be at the same risk as my child was.

 

I receive many emails from people telling me they are worried about having children as the last thing they want is to pass on this dreadful eye disease. They ask me what should they do? How on earth can I answer that? It’s certainly not my choice. All I can do is put out there what I did and my thoughts.

 

I was told when I was four, or my Mum was, but I was there to hear, I should never have children. Gosh, how times thankfully have changed. Doctors I would hope wouldn’t dare do that now. they will give you the risks and leave it up to you. Now, some people think that people who have diseases that can be passed on should never have children, and that was my belief. As a child I knew it was not my gift to have a baby. I did look into adoption, though with that I know the pain some adoptees go through in life. but I was told because I was partially sighted, they wouldn’t allow me to adopt. Even though my ex had perfect eyesight and at the time my sight was really good. I just took that as another slap in the face and another punishment because I had RP.

 

An then one day I had the strong urge to have a baby. It was as if something had been planted inside of my head and heart. I told my Husband and he was shocked because he knew my views and was quite happy to go along with whatever I wanted as far as having or not having a child and that I know is rare. Most people will want a child. And these are the emails I get. The writers don’t, because they don’t want to pass on their eye condition, but how to tell their partners that? Not everyone will hang around with the person who has just announced they are never going to have a baby.

 

I spoke with my friend and she said by the time your child is older, there will be a cure. I believed her as there seemed to be advances at the time. 22 years later, no treatment that will remove this what can be a crippling disease.

 

Thank God so far, my Son can see fine. There is always that doubt in my head though that perhaps he will show signs when he is older. I wished I had got him checked out when he was a child. But I didn’t and now he’s older he won’t get his eyes checked. I kind of don’t blame him. But in a way, if he learns he does have the gene that could make him blind, then he needs to know now, for his future career.

 

If he had had had my eye disease, he would be loved as much as I love him now. but his life would have had its challenges. Finding it really difficult to work. Not being allowed to drive. Not going out at nights with his friends, unless of course he would be prepared to learn the white cane and it took me until I had him to do that. But again, I’m no example. I fought off the thought of blindness for as long as I could. In fact, I was blind for three years before I even touched a cane. Head in sand.

 

I truly believed that my vision would come back. But it didn’t and it won’t. will it ever? I really don’t know. The older I’m becoming the more I’m thinking not in my life time. But then I have bursts of some positive news and then learn they are at least five years off giving this treatment to humans.

 

I’m told there are many advances and I read all the time of what is out there. But in my opinion, too many new things and not enough time on fixing what they think will work I would rather have quality than quantity.

 

As I always say, I wish all the brains would get together and talk about what they have and know. Then surely things would happen much faster rather than behind closed doors? So many different things going on. Some will stop people from going blind but not improve their sight. So that treatment is too late for me. Then there is treatment being researched that brings back shapes for example but not the faces of loved ones. To see a flower or a bird, to appreciate the beauty of life. to read a letter that comes through your door. But then there is a virus that brings cells that have died back to life. and then what? what else do  we see? And it all comes down to money and so much money. But then scientists say the eyes are the easiest genes to work with.

 

Who knows, may be my blogs in five years’ time will be written in silence? I won’t have to type each letter hearing a robotic mans voice telling me each letter? I may be able to publish pictures to see colours before me rather than different shapes of grey’s and blacks as I am doing today. I may be able to make this page look rather fancy. Sometimes I put blogs out there and it’s only down to you, who write to tell me that my font has gone funny, then I have to correct it, as obviously I can’t see the font. And please don’t ever think that other people will tell me about the font, so if you ever see my font looking odd, please let me know as it could be that particular day, only people who are totally blind are reading my blogs so no one has noticed.

 

Thank goodness I can touch type and every few months I stress how important this is to learn. If not for touch typing, I’m not sure I would be able to write using dictation as that doesn’t work well for long documents.

 

Thank goodness for the software called Jaws that makes my words speak to me. I can search on Google for new advances for my eye disease and when I learn of new exciting things, I shall pass them onto you.

 

Back to having a child if you have an inherited condition.

 

I worship my Son. There isn’t a day goes by when I wished I had never had him. What if he had been born partially sighted? He still would be my beautiful son only the guilt I would feel and I’m sure I would have to be prepared for the hate that may come my way when my child would be told he can’t drive like his friends for example and he would have to study really hard, extra hard if he wants a good job. As people who are blind can’t walk into any job. I have friends who are so clever and have jobs, but some of them are jobs that if they could see, no way they would do. They are far more capable to do better. And I have friends who have huge brains very good qualifications up can’t get a job. Simply because if the employer is interviewing and two people are the same but one is sighted the other blind, sadly, the employer will take the person who can see. Now a note to employers. We as people who have no vision would work extra hard for you, we are always proving ourselves and to get to work takes a lot of training. To get around work takes training. So, we do not want to be changing jobs as often as sighted people may. It won’t cost you, the employer anything extra to have us working for you. Thank God for the Government scheme that pays for software etc. so, why not give us a chance to prove to you we would be the better person for the job? Get to know us, we are like you but work harder to be excepted. We laugh, we have fun. Just our eyes don’t work. Yes, you do get people who have additional disabilities, but if we say we are blind or partially sighted, then, that is what we are.

 

For those who are wondering whether or not to have a child, then I would say fast forward a few years. In the child’s playground. Will they get invited to parties? Yes, if you make friends with parents and not keep away from them, then they will except your child as for the playground, except that your child may have more cuts and bruises than a sighted child. We hate it when our kids hurt, so, expect a lot of hurt. A lot of anger, but loads of love too. And all the other things that come with having a child. Expect the question when they get older, why did you give me this condition? Answers could be because I had so much love to give an wanted to give you the best life and show you that you can do so much and achieve so much, just you have to learn to do it in a different way to the norm.

 

Try to normalise your child’s eye condition. Don’t make them feel different, as only their eyes are and the mind will follow but what is planted in the mind will grow to be a weed or a beautiful tree that will blossom.

 

I do believe that one day there will be treatment. May be even a cure. In my life time? Not sure. Doubt it. But as I said, fast forward five years? I mean, who would have thought that it was possible to have 3D body parts? Gut bacteria treatment, cure for hepatitis C. Gene therapy to reverse some cancers and help with vision just to name a few things. Fingerprinting, every incidence of has a unique fingerprint or identity code and cancer fingerprinting allows medical staff tamanolide the mutated genes of tumours and understand how particular cancers will be to different types of treatment.

The bionic eye. I’m not a fan of this. Wires glasses all to see images. I think I would rather wait to see a little more than shapes and dots, but when I first went blind, twenty years ago I was so excited as this was first being talked about. I would never be in the dark. Isn’t it interesting that now, I would say no to that?

 

Australia have invented a fantastic new bionic eye and from what I believe there are no glasses. But an operation as a disc has to be fitted on the back of the head. Hopefully, small, haha. We don’t want to look like those old-fashioned satellite dishes.

 

Faecal transplants, sounds awful but if you read into it, it’s so interesting the many conditions that this will help with not only that, but a study has shown that the person who receives the transplant, takes on characteristics of the Dona such as body shapes and if that person had depression.

 

Seizure stoppers. Epilepsy is a chronic brain disorder producing unpredictable seizures that can have a debilitating effect on a sufferer lifestyle with 50 million people suffering with epilepsy. The fantastic system works continually monitoring brain waves and when it detects unusual activity, it emits electrical pulses before a seizure can occur.

 

Synthetic cells. If these are put into the body, then they fight cancer cells without damaging healthy tissue.

 

This sounds great, I wish this was available when I had my cataracts surgery. Drops that melt the cataract.

 

Instead of drops I had the operation that involved me being awake as they cut into my eye removing the lens whilst I was able to talk to the surgeon. Smile… hand me those drops any day.

 

The world’s first artificial pancreas. And the removal of certain things that will remove genes that will make that child very sick. So, one day soon I am sure the RP gene will also be able to be removed. We have also seen driverless cars, smart watches, and who would have thought ten years ago, that we would be able to hold a small object in our hand where we can make phone calls from, answer and write to people through emails? Print off something, go onto social media, listen to music, in our case, read a letter, photograph an object and hear what it is? See how many steps we have done that day and order our food shopping as well as anything else that we may wish to buy also in this small device, we can see what the weather is like and how to get somewhere, order take away food and theatre tickets. Have a train ticket on our phone? Remember not that long ago, when we had to sit with a desk with a huge screen and underdeck machine just to get onto the computer? So, I guess when you think like that, then there is hope. And here are some links.

 

https://www.news-medical.net/news/20190315/Promising-gene-therapy-could-restore-vision-in-humans.aspx?fbclid=IwAR08H35f3EmMf1bwStl61LTqzhNzfwLbwEMcFYkGaekNK1mdSmDo1ce5oyk

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30874546?fbclid=IwAR3Aw5cLSNKybvEzIDR5QC7EW_ausS-nyPd8a9lJIovc4MrCfHAUacIUqyI

 

 

https://www.news-medical.net/news/20190314/New-therapy-could-help-prolong-useful-vision-and-delay-total-blindness.aspx?fbclid=IwAR1KeVMTVcZ-FSNdzTQ-G8eHgHzBZ_6Z14MM7jESYkNJBKZptgfL_5RCBsk

 

 

http://www.retina-international.org/not-too-dim-not-too-slow-just-right-the-goldilocks-of-vision-restoration/?fbclid=IwAR2ZinZxHL2IyX9VSi8ODle2hFhgMzheiyUPvUEiK9nHLphBeEHWrvbDq3M

 

 

THE POTATOES OF LIFE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Well it’s past the pumpkin hour and the house is so quiet. My beautiful dog has finished her dream so, even she is hushed now after making such sounds from her sleep. Some laughs earlier in the kitchen with Boy Wonder and Shamrock. Doors all locked, I had to do Hubs jobs tonight, of filling the dog food bin up and gosh, imagine this, so it’s a huge bag, and I lift it to put in the dog bin still in its bag am I making sense? So, there I am lifting his huge heavy bag trying to find the blooming opening of the bin to sit the bag, in it. Well I kept missing it. I needed to feel where the hole was but had no spare hands. Where is the octopus when I need one? But managed in the end. My faithful dog by my side at that time, wishing, just wishing that I was going to pour the full bag in her dish. And she would make a good impression of it too. Not sure there would be much left if I gave her the choice of a constant pouring of the dog food. Why does it have to smell so bad? I’m glad it’s biscuits and not meat. As in a tin/can. And then for the recycling boxes. Oh, my, did I tell you Hub and I were like the Chuckle brothers at the weekend. For those who are not familiar with the Chuckle brothers, they are a comedy act two brothers who are always moving stuff and their catch phrase is to me to you. Well they push and pull just as we were doing this weekend, well, Hub didn’t know his own strength and snapped the handle off. And the boxes, are still stuck together. Not sure if they have swollen up with the rain? So, tonight was my Sons turn. My fit Son who goes to the gym five times per week. Who is obsessed with a good body and healthy living? My Son who is so very strong.

If anyone can bust boxes, oh, sorry, loosen boxes he can.

But he couldn’t.

So, I have had to put two boxes stuck. I am going to have to get some washing up liquid and hot water to try to separate them. As right now, they are like piggin dogs in heat.

 

My lovely man is away until tomorrow night. I know he was working until eleven tonight too, as he had loads of paperwork to do. But he had a nice meal after the office and before he started to work with his lap top. First, he said he had fish & chips. Chips are fried potatoes. But then he had a starter. Potato things with chicken in crumps, and spicy potatoes and some other kind of potatoes, hahaha, and where was the veg? the salad? Anything green would do? Well, talk about when the cat’s away the mouse shall play? Do you know I hide his Peas still…? In his mash potatoes. It took me until last year before I realised that it didn’t matter if I hid his Peas or not, he’s blind so can’t see them, but I guess if I hide them in the mash, they are mixed in so he may still eat them as he loves mash…. Well that is the theory. He would have made a good cave man.

 

If he had been at home, it would have been a sweet potatoes stew. I bet he’s glad he is away. Haha.

 

Yesterday was a beautiful day. It was so hot and sunny. I went for a lovely long walk with my girl Friday, we walked at speed. Well, speed for me. Just managing to take over the tortoise. Seriously, we walk at a healthy speed and when I got back, I felt so good. I haven’t checked how many steps but it has to be more than five thousand. And to some, that isn’t many, but to me it’s four thousand more, then what I used to do. At the weekend we walked over ten thousand. And two days last week six thousand per day, over two days. Next week I’m starting running…

Hahahaha, noooooonooooo

my running days are so long gone. I used to love running in fact I loved dancing and keeping fit, but it all went wrong when I was eighteen. I was a fully-fledged housewife with duties for my ex Husband. Gosh, I wonder who’s cleaning his house now? I can tell you, it will be clean, as my ex liked a clean and tidy house and he was house-proud.

 

We crossed the dreaded road around here, the road where the council won’t put a crossing on. But there is a crossing if you walk almost a mile up the road, on a roundabout, very safe. Not!

 

 If you can’t see, you have to hear for when there are no cars, only on a roundabout there are always cars, so it’s lethal. But, hey, they have a crossing up there, only trouble is, that doesn’t beep or turn with the twizzly thing at the bottom, you know for those who are deaf and blind, there is a screw like thing right  at the bottom of the light box that you are meant to hold and wait for it to turn, as you won’t be able to hear the beeping or obviously, see the lights change?

 So, thank goodness for my girl Friday and that crossing is awful, it’s not straight across, but on an angle.

 

Together we learned a new route too, I may try it out with the Wagging one tomorrow. Just anxious I get lost, but hey, I have all day to find my way home…

 

I have three poems to write tomorrow weddings coming up. And a paper to prepare and present,, in a couple of weeks. I have a date with an ironing board and the normal things like cooking for my family.

 

Oh my, Boy Wonder made his lunch tonight for tomorrow. I have just looked at what he has put it in, it’s like a blooming suit case. I thought once over the teen years, they slow down with their eating?

It’s not happening here. He had a cooked breakfast, then took a hot made meal to work, then had a large cooked dinner went to the gym and came back to cook again. His lunch for tomorrow and his supper as he is always starving after the gym. He’s so lucky though as he has a fantastic physique. Takes after his Mum

Stop it

Well he has the same hair and eye colour.

And that is where it stops. Hahaha. Oh, people say he has my smile. Hmm. Why did I give that up?

 

OK, I’m so tired I’m getting delirious.

I shall close for now and wish you a good sleep tonight. But before I go, I want to say to Jan, best wishes for later today and to Sheila, you are super woman. To Terry thank you so much for the support and to my most beautiful loyal Blogget Louise, my thoughts are with you today. Be strong. Things are going to be OK and some days better. Life will sort itself out. I’m praying for you.

With love.

 

THE JIGSAW PUZZLE #PoetryByFionaCummings

THE JIGSAW PUZZLE

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Pen to paper

A moment I want to savour

 To get to know you

Is a dream come true

A lifeline we share

Never knowing you

But knew you were there

Like a hidden jewel

But had to play by the rule

Feeling a fool

Time waisted

Years, so cruel

Tears, forming a pool

But now words I want to write

To say I never gave up the fight

To tell you of my plight

Blood rushing through our veins

Past memories remain

A lifetime apart

A space in my heart

But like a jigsaw puzzle

I have found the missing pieces

Putting the picture together

An angel feather

Like a much-needed cuddle

A bear from childhood

A dish of favourite food

A box in the corner

With the last two bits of wood

Wanting to open the gift

But don’t think I should

Shall I untie the bow

And lift the lid

I just don’t know

Like a game of chess

Waiting for you to make the move

I don’t want to tip the box

 And make a mess

But this is not a game

It’s real life

I want to survive

Feeling alive

So much pride

Nothing to hide

And so much to give

This moment I want to save

The ink is running out

Words I shall just shout

But can you hear me now?

My picture looks beautiful

Almost complete

My challenge is done

I hope we all have won

Strong together

 We don’t except defeat

 

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

FAMILY THOUGHTS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 Good evening Bloggets. Happy birthday to my beautiful niece. Gosh I remember when she was a little girl, every year for her birthday I bought her party dress. It was funny as it was the only time, she would wear a dress in those days. I was 13 when she was born. I was at boarding school. So, she was a few weeks old by the time I saw her. I wished I had more time with her but dreaded sight meant I had to go away to school. Thank goodness children now days can stay at home and not sent away as if they were bad for having poor eyesight. Having said that because of my Husbands education, he has managed to do really well in life as far as work is concerned, also having a brain the size of a planet helped.

 

School certainly has screwed up with our minds. But that is in our past, nothing we can do about that. Though I so wish I could have had the family time I needed.

 

Days like today I think of my Mum.  I miss her so very much and my darling Dad. 20 years seems like forever some days but the pain is as if it was a couple of months ago.

 

I was given to them when I was four weeks. The four weeks before that I think I suffered as when I came to my Mum, I was really dirty. My little clothes were filthy as were my fingernails. The home I was in wasn’t a good one. My birth mother gave me up when I was a couple of days and she didn’t even touch me the two days I was in the same building as her. I am sure as babies, we store memories up just don’t remember them well enough, though they still scar our hearts and soul.

 

But the parents that were given to me, were the best in the world, though you always as an adopted child feel rejected, no matter what your adopted parents do for you.

 

I often think what would my life have been like if I hadn’t have been given away? Having said that, I would never want not to have known my lovely parents who dedicated their life for me and worship my brother who was also adopted.

 

My parents loved my Niece and my Mum taught my Niece so much to read and write. I’m just pleased she is old enough to remember them I wish my Son could, but he was a baby when they died. So, he too has missed out on family.

 

I’m pleased to say our Son got back safely from Amsterdam last night. And of course, because of the latest terrorist attack, I was so worried. It was 21 miles from where he was. God bless the people who were murdered.

 

  Hub away for the next couple of days. On business. I miss him so much when he’s away. But I am going out with a friend tomorrow so that will be lovely and I have my most loved person to write to tomorrow, my dearest Louise. I adore her letters and we write to each other a couple of times per week though I could get letters/emails from her every day and I wouldn’t complain.

 

And Elaine asked me to write my favourite things not sure why, Elaine, why? Haha, well, here goes.

Colour blue

Pop stars George Ezra. Just love everything about him. Bruno Mars and singers

Michael Bubble and Andrea Bocelli.

Hobbies, writing, music going to the theatre and cinema and time with great friends. Walking and watching great TV. Many years ago, it was dancing and running. Not at the same time…  favourite animal dogs and elephants. I adore birds too wild birds though I had a caged one I don’t really believe in them. And I have loads of bronze horses. I always say when I die, I’m coming back as a Pegasus…

I have loads of statues in my garden, but I don’t like gardening. Though I love a nice garden.

Favourite country I have been to? Hmm. Italy, though we had a beautiful holiday with our Son in the South of France. And the happiest time was with dear friends in America. But in my head, Norway was the most beautiful of all.  Country I would love to visit, Canada.

If not for the threat of crime it would be South Africa to see my beautiful elephants, though I fear I wouldn’t want to leave them.

 

Fave film, dirty dancing. See no evil hear no evil. And old-fashioned movie I love is called Genevieve, one of my favourite names for a girl along with the names Jennifer and Alexandra.

Favourite flower daffodils. Love them new start and the colour is a happy colour. I can’t see the colours now well, not even the flowers, but I still love the thought of what they look like. When I first went blind it broke my heart to think I would never see them again, but fast forward twenty years and now I can imagine them.

 

Favourite place to live, the seaside. Northumberland beaches are the best.

  Elaine hope this has answered your questions.

 

Cherish your good and kind human connections. Treat others as they treat you. I hope for peace for those who are kind and love for those who have more to give. Xxx

 

 

NEWS AND VIEWS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good day Bloggets. Not long been in. it’s such a beautiful day but I thought it was going to rain, so I put on the correct coat for that and found myself melting as the sun pounded down. Waggs worked great as we headed to our meetings. My brother in law was on the radio today but sadly I couldn’t hear it as had to be out.

 

On my return, I had the window cleaner to deal with. His brother used to clean our windows and he was great, but sadly he fell off his ladders, broke his leg, well, that is what we have been told, and now his brother has taken over and he is not the same kind of person shall I say. He keeps telling me that he came and I wasn’t in so he had to do the front of the house only as he couldn’t get in the back. Well on the dates he tells me he has come, I know I haven’t been out until well after they come. So, I think he is a con. He gives me the chills too. Where as his brother is so lovely rough around the edges but really the salt of the earth. Who knows, perhaps he is locked up right now, my trusty window cleaner, haha, it’s been five months since he broke his leg… that is a long recuperation….

 

He asked me if he could use my plug outside to charge his machine. I said yes, I asked how long he would be, he said five minutes max. ten minutes later, I went out and he was still there… after about 15/20, he left. What a cheek… I wouldn’t have minded if it was his brother, I just don’t like this guy. I can do the downstairs windows, but not upstairs and I don’t even want to try. Climbing up ladders to hang my Christmas decorations is dangerous enough for me, let alone climbing that bit higher to the windows…

 

And now outside, there are more sounds. I really don’t know what it is, who it is, but they are on our property. I don’t like it… if I could just look out from my window, but no…

 

Awful news about a shooting in Utrecht. The Dutch Police are still looking for the gunman. I pray to God they catch him. Poor people who have been killed. Three so far. Sickening. As for the Muslims in New Zealand, they are so calm and so nice, what a dreadful thing to have happened. But it was forecast I think people are so fed up with all of the terrorist attacks but the awful thing is, it’s innocent people who are suffering.

 

One poor man lost twenty of his friends. He would have been there if he hadn’t have overslept. Well let’s be grateful that there are going to be stronger rules on guns. What I don’t understand is the killer was not from that country but from Australia. He had only been in the country for four months. So, firstly why would he want a gun and why as many? Whoever sold him them, why wasn’t questions asked?

 

Now are you ready for the most ridiculous sick trend? A man has had the inside of his ears removed for a new body modification… Just disgusting, and who on earth would do such an operation?

 

A body builder has said today since going vegan, not only has he become stronger, but his eyesight has improved. His glass’s prescription isn’t as strong as it used to be and he is leg pressing for over 400kg and for 16 reps. Whatever all that means. My Son talks that language, but as he isn’t here right now, I shall think that is good…

 

Oh, ladies, get this, a Mother has given birth to six babies in less than ten minutes. That is making my eyes water.

 

A poor whale has been found dead with 40kg about 82 lbs of plastic in it. Just humans. Shocking, absolutely dreadful out of sight out of mind situation. Dump today your rubbish and this is the kind of thing that will happen until there will be no more wildlife as not only it happens in our oceans, but on land too. So sad for the beautiful creature who doesn’t have a voice or do anything to harm us.

 

Ancient switch to soft foods gave us an overbite   to allow us to be able to pronounce F’s and V’s.

That is what researchers are saying. So people are wearing things in their mouth to make their teeth join together, so do they struggle with the letters F and V? now that is your home work, haha, check out those with teeth which don’t have an overbite and get them to say

The fluorescent frog flew rather than jumped. Very strange as for his voice?

 

Or may be not…

   

If I was our PM, I would sack my party/colleagues if I could. I can not believe just how rude they are in parlament. Poor Mrs May has been so calm and never once lost her cool.

 

Three teenagers have died at, or just after a party in Ireland. So sad. They just fell to the floor and one  died immediately two later in hospital. It’s said they were crushed. It’s shocking. It was a party at a hotel.

 

Here is a great link for future treatment for those who are blind

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/03/190315095808.htm?fbclid=IwAR3OlSX4LanKZ97QaSHkDvCTTt2EgiX86ZdUT-URgHSYEYZ7U6h54JE0pbs

 

 

SKIMMING STONES BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good evening Bloggets. How was your weekend? We have had a lovely couple of days. Yesterday just relaxed and enjoyed each other’s company and today we went out to the countryside to take a long walk. We also popped in at a craft centre and I’m pondering on going back there to create something. Not sure when or what I will make yet, but it looks fun.

 

The river was absolutely wild. So noisy I loved it but wouldn’t like to live near there as the houses will be sure to be flooded!

 

It was nippy cold but the sun shone and the birds sang so very loudly as the trees swayed in the breeze and the smell of freshly cut grass was in the air. Daffodils kissed the pathways that snaked around monuments and posts with hanging baskets with spring plants in them.

 

We stopped for a coffee and bite.

Sandwich/cake that is, we didn’t chew on each other.

Hehehehehe

 

Dogs are sleepy, we have just had dinner and now more chill time in front of the TV. We have done little housework this weekend. It’s been so relaxing. And tomorrow a busy couple of meetings in the morning for me. Hub is working from home, and my Son returns from his break. I hope he has had a lovely time.

 

Do you believe in karma? I would love to, and I’m not saying I don’t.  we know that saying. “All good things come to those who wait, or everything that’s really worthwhile in life comes to us.””

Well, apart from my Son who was the first amazing thing that happened in my life, I had a long wait until the next great thing/person came into my life and again, fast forward ten years, another long wait until something else special has happened. So, so far, many car crashes but good treatment at the end of the painful years. That is how I feel right now. I just hope I have a safe car now, haha.  Seatbelt clicked in and off we go onto a journey of a lifetime.

 

I wonder if optimism feeds positivity? The challenge we have is finding positivity, isn’t it? And I guess like a plant, we have to start at the beginning and plant the seeds of hope and smiles. Surround yourself with what you like/love and rid of everything that makes you unhappy. Unless you can change what, is making you unhappy then live with what you have?

 

We can not change our past, but we have a chance to change our future. Remember, you can’t cross the river by skimming stones!

 

 

 

 

MYSTERIOUS JOYS OF LIFE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 Seriously, this weather is shocking. It’s not so cold but so very wet! As I passed our lake today, residents told me that even the ducks had been seen wearing flippers!

 

Did you know it can rain money?

Whenever there is change in the weather…

What did the rain drops say to the others?

  Two’s company three’s a cloud.

 Do you know how you wrap a cloud?

With a rainbow of course…

 

OK, sorry, but I bet your face cracked even just a bit? Go on, it did, didn’t it? Be honest with Fifi!!!

 

Well it’s still windy but nothing like yesterday. Oh, my goodness. I was so glad to know my baby had arrived safely, who would want to fly on a day like yesterday? I was quite surprised that they actually did. He’s having a great little break abroad with Shamrock. Talking of Sham, tomorrow it’s St Patricks day. I expect every pub will be very full! But hey, no snakes in sight!

 

Patrick was captured by pirates from his home in England and taken as a slave to Ireland where he worked with animals. After six years he escaped and went back to Britain but something went wrong and he returned to Ireland where he became a Bishop. So, the Saint of Ireland was English and the saint of England, George, was from Turkey?

Not only that, but he never came to England.

 

Well it’s been a really great few days. A couple of amazing things have happened in my life that I could only dream about before. And, some other good news about a friend that is full of mystery. Seems like I was born to a world which posted me in the direction of conundrums throughout my life. Starting in Russia in the mid-seventies, there were times there where there was definitely a chill in the air and I’m not talking about their harsh winters. The Russian Mafia, KGB and well, the iron curtain was tightly closed and the material was so thick no one could get through the other side. Relationships were just times when so many questions should have been asked but there were no answers as hushed words went in my ears and touched my heart. And now, well, right now, I’m so very happy another mystery has been answered and my heart is full of love!

 

My life was such that it was full of shocking pain, but I pray that I have suffered enough now and peace can commence.

 

Hub and I have had a great day. We have a lovely Indian meal waiting for us for dinner. And a night full of just being together. Our favourite time. Appreciate who you have in your life and never stop looking for chances to leave your comfort zone for a while and you may enrich lives and have your heart filled with joy that you never thought would be possible.

Take a risk and live in hope, no matter how many times you are knocked down, force yourself back up and in the end at least you can say you tried and who knows, you may succeed!

 

 

 

FRIDAY'S SMILEY DAY'S BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 I’m telling you now, the wind is like hell.  It’s as if being stranded on an island in the middle of the North Sea. If we get by without falling fences, I will be shocked. It was well after seven this morning, I hadn’t been to sleep all night and suddenly I felt rumbling under the floor. It was like something out of a horror movie. Just the wind going under the house, I guess. I swear, one day our neighbourhood will be like the Victorian streets, all houses will be so close, we will be able to make our neighbours a cupper and open the window to hand them it through their window. Haha. If our house hasn’t moved a little this month I will be surprised. Outside there is creaking, crashing banging whacking and then there are my windchimes.

Woops.

 

But sitting here in my sitting room, the sun is shining and it’s hot, even though it’s raining.

Yep, who said the English were obsessed with the weather?

 

My Husband is a couple of hours away from home working today. Not sure what time he will be home. He has been all over this week and only been in once before six and that was just one day. He left as normal at quarter past seven this morning. My Son left at 3 a.m.

 

Of course, the news today is awful. Full of badness. But every day now something dreadful has happened. I have a friend who never reads the news or watches it. I’m starting to understand why, it does mean though your conversation has to alter to what I would normally talk to my friends about. Everything in life is around the news, right?

 

Whilst some factors that affect happiness are not our gift, I believe that apart from current circumstances, genetics play a role, so, if you find yourself in a dull place right now, let’s see if I can lift you even just a little!

 

 It’s been proven if you take the time to write down just three positive things per day, you will feel more optimistic and less stressed.

 

Just a few moments outside can give you a fresh perspective and if you can combine that with a walk or in your necessary mobility aid, even better, but don’t think that even just standing in your back yard won’t help your mood, as it will.

 

When your body feels good, your brain will follow, eat fruit and veg think of your body like a car. Feed it with the best fuel. I need to learn from my own lesson there.

 

Get rid of some clutter if it’s bothering you, even if it is a couple of things, it is amazing how good that will make you feel.

 

Detach yourself from past negativity. If someone doesn’t make you happy, why let them continue to control how you feel? Teach your brain to think positive even if you really don’t feel it right now. just tell yourself nice things and see if it helps at the end of the day.

 

Change your routine, or if you walk somewhere change your route just to get off autopilot.

 

Make plans if you have a friend you can meet up with, even if it is a plan for a month away. That will give you something to look forward to.

 

Focus on what you have accomplished rather than look at what you haven’t done.

 

Even if you fake smile, research has proven that a smile after something stressful helps so much with decreasing your heart rate  

 

Where a nice bright colour. Buy some flowers for your room that will cheer you up as they look pretty if you can’t see, get some that smell good. But if you buy lilies, then cut the centre I think it’s yellow, I know it’s the bit that stains furniture, but if it’s cut out you will be OK and have the benefit of the amazing fragrance. And chop lemons. Again, this has been proven to lift your mood.

 

Most importantly remember that there’s always tomorrow. And we were all put on this earth for a reason. It’s up to us to learn what that reason is.

It’s nice to pass on our new positive feeling to others, just leave a note or text to whoever you may share your house with, if you live on your own, then text a friend, pass on the good vibes.

 

YOUR JOURNEY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Well we are back from the pub quiz and boy we are gutted. Not because we came last again. Because we didn’t come last, tonight….

OK, we came second last.

But when we arrived in our local cosy pub with its coal fire burning, one of the lovely old fellas’ who talks to us turned to our friend and asked her if she had read the paper on the wall?

Turns out we may be losing our local pub unless someone jumps in last minute and buys it. The guys who run the pub are going to France to run a caravan park. It’s just come out of the blue, so next week is our last week. With the local pub comes the local people. It’s a community. Our friend is so sad about it. Bless him. My girlfriend is like, so Fi, where will we go now? haha. Me, I’m sad that the people we talk to every week may be no more. Let’s see what happens next week, may be someone will have bought it!

 

It’s fast approaching the pumpkin hour and our Son is doing his washing… Hub has to be up early tomorrow as he’s going a long way from home again working.

 

Tonight, I can go to bed with a very happy feeling. Something so sweet happened today and it has put a huge smile upon my face.

 

Oh, gross, guess what was outside of our back-door step today? Thank goodness my Son saw it. A dead mouse. Oh, he was so upset by it. I was like, oh no, that thing I thought was a leaf or something, could it have been the mouse? But my Son said it was intact, so if it had been Fifi’d, it would have not represented a mouse… hahaha. More like a pancake.

 

Storm Hannah is to come to us at the weekend. Is it correct that storms are named a girl’s name and then boys then girl then boy?

I wonder who thinks of the names? I guess it’s in alphabetic order as last one was Gareth, this one Hannah? So next one a boy’s name starting with I? let’s see if I’m right, I could look it up but I’m tired my brain is weak with the quiz, and it wasn’t too healthy before I started.

 

Our friends were saying that they had a rat in their garden and its stairs at them until they get really close. Oh, I really am cringing now. they live four doors from us. But they feed the birds and I know rats love that. I hate rats. I’m an animal lover and a vegetarian, but rats? Well, I couldn’t hurt one but I wouldn’t object to someone doing it for me as long as I didn’t hear anything.

 

On our lake the other day was the most amazing thing that would have made a great picture/photograph. A seagull was chasing a duck with a fish in the duck’s mouth. Bless the duck, it was swimming like mad to get away from the flying rat. Hahah. Now, seagulls, I don’t have anything against I don’t like them but I wouldn’t like people to hurt them. But rats?

 

I read today that Manuka honey is killing every bacteria, scientists throw at it.

Just thought I would put that out there.

 

I have two meetings on Monday, one I’m totally dreading. They are long too and one follows the other so I hope to get one finished before the other one starts.

 

As for the weekend, not sure what I am doing yet. I would like to go for a walk, this week I have done two big walks that’s good for me. Have I lost weight? Have I heckers like!

 

I’m ready for the spring now sick of the winter though it hasn’t been bad I shouldn’t complain.

 

Hub and I were talking the other day again and saying that it will be our last chance to have the freedom of our guide dogs as when they retire, that will be it sadly for us. I’m devastated. Gutted. Not sure what we will do to be honest. Both of us blind and neither of us will qualify for a guide dog under the new rules here. That makes me so sad as I used to take my Son to school and bring him back. Take him to school meetings with teachers etc and if he was sick at school, I could go and collect him. But that walk was about 12 minutes each way. So, say less than 25 there and back. Under the new rules, that wouldn’t be enough to qualify. We have to do forty-minute walks three different ones per week and do them every day. Well, firstly, those of you who are sighted, how many of you walk forty minutes every single day, doing three different routes?  So many people take their children to school and some people visit their parents with their guide dogs. Without the dogs we wouldn’t be able to do the routes. For example, schools are not easy enough to do with a white cane. I did it for a year and it was hell. Schools are all different shapes the buildings. There are parked cars. Children running all over. Plant pots, grass verges trees posts and more sticking out. A guide dog will avoid all of those. A white cane won’t.

 

As I have written about before, a little elderly lady who may just go out once a day to get a loaf but when she is out, she will talk to people, she will feel alive even for half an hour. Well no more. Sadly, she would be refused too. And then there is my Husband, he works in an office. But at weekends we go to our town, do our banking and other little shops specialised shops, but not during the week. So, if he needs to go to the doctors or dentist, then he will need his guide dog, but in general, just to have for work, he won’t be doing forty minutes. Even if he took a taxi then a train, that isn’t walking for forty minutes. I pray that by the time our dogs retire, the rules will have changed again. Most people with guide dogs, move to an area where they are close to things. Just to make life easier. I think they will find they have loads of guide dogs and no one to give them to if they keep this rule in place.

 

Right, grump over. On that note, I shall say some words before I go.

All you need is a plan, a road map and the courage to travel to a place where you want to go to. Get there, be happy knowing that only you have created that possibility of a new journey.

 

Fiona Cummings

 

PARTY PLANTS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I have been out and bought two large French sticks at the bakers for dinner tonight. One a salt and pepper one and the other what is called a tiger stick. Bread I’m talking. They are huge so I thought I would make some home-made soup to go with them. Our Son can’t eat the salt and pepper one as that has milk in but the other, he can. I made a large pan of leak and potato soup.  And from that to more paint… yep, I’m going to decorate again. This time our bathroom. I have bought a very pail blue.

 

Gosh the wind was so bad. Over 89 kilometres per hour about 55 mph.

It really is like the devil is on his way if not arrived already, and then I read the headlines that there has been a shooting in a school in Brazil killing at least five children. For goodness sake, this world is getting out of control. Who will press the stop button? Who will be able to talk to the world and make them understand what we have and how lucky we are? Some say God will but how and when as if another being comes to earth or if someone calls himself Jesus for example, do you think we are going to hang around and listen to what he has to say? No, we will shoot him too. Unless he has some kind of numbing power that will frees us until he has his say then leaves safely.

 

I spent some time with a great person today and life has been fabulous.

 

Sitting with a coffee now I’m shattered. Emptied the dish washer twice so, obviously filling it again to empty for the second time… cleaning the floors, ironed and cooked. Went shopping too and we walked for almost two hours. I bought plants and flowers.  Calling into Waggatail favourite shop, the pet shop where of course I had to buy our dogs some new toys… and a couple of treats.  There was a poor cat meowing as it was taking to the vet which is in that shop. Poor baby must have known where it was going. In the shop were rabbits and hamsters. The poor girl on the till I felt for. the doors were broken and they had to stay open, well, the wind was blowing a Gail but I smiled as she told me she had a heater by her legs, so her bottom half was hot and her top half was cold.

 

The second shop I went in, I can tell you I was glad to get out. The ceiling was lifting. If that roof stays on, I shall eat my hat…. Not that I was wearing one, or that would be no more…

 

Tomorrow I have a busy day in the office. So much work to do, I doubt Waggs will get out further than the end of the road as there’s just too much work. And she has had a busy week, so I think she will be glad of the wrest.

 

Reading comments today about people with RP driving. Most people who have the same eye disease as me, dream about driving but are filled with some kind of anxiety. My friend said he is afraid he is going to get caught as he obviously can’t see well enough to drive. He used to drive though. I dream of me driving and I have never seen enough to drive, even when I had really good sight, it wasn’t enough to drive safely. In my dreams, it’s always dark and I can never find the indicator and there are always a queue of cars behind me. I wonder if this is a common phenomenon amongst people who can’t see or is hard of seeing, that they are pressured in some way? Why can’t we just drive?

 

Rachael from Australia asked me to write about going to public places like parties if you can’t see well, or at all, so here goes. Well, when I had sight it was more difficult for others than it is now, I’m totally blind. When I had sight, people just didn’t get it. Where as if you are blind, then they seem to at least understand that you are not being ignorant by not smiling back at them or making eye contact with them. And they tend to come to us, rather than us having to try to go to them. It’s kind of black or white for most people. Either you have sight or not. If you have sight, then why can’t you read the menu or get your own food?  There really isn’t enough knowledge out there about vision. So, I hope you share the word to make it easier for yourselves and for others in the same boat as you.

 

People ask how to approach people at parties? Well if you can see, but not enough to walk around and socialise, then a white cane is a great indicator for others to realise that, as if you are like what I used to be like, then sometimes at a party, you can see someone’s face so clearly, then you are almost blind. It can be so confusing for us, let alone sighted people.  

 

You don’t want to wear a badge telling the world you are hard of seeing or blind, an yet you need people to know, so you feel a part of their conversation at least? And when everyone else is going to the food table at a buffet for example, don’t do what I used to do and tell people you are not eating because you are either on a diet or you have eaten before you left the house. Be honest. I spent most of my sighted life being afraid of what people may think. Well I learned the hard way if you are honest from the start, people really do except you for who you are and if you are never afraid of answering questions, they are never afraid of asking them and knowledge is power. Before you know it, you will be the bell of the ball invited to all parties as you are so interesting the fact you have been to whatever country or done what ever or simply you are just you, and maybe you make people laugh?  When you relax, they will relax and your old and new friends will soon forget the fact, that you can’t even see. Most of my friends forget when we are just talking, it’s only when I get up to leave, they remember and then the odd thing is, they will feel the need to tell you, that they forgot you can’t see. Not ever sure what response you are meant to give them in that situation…

 

If you have a plate of food using a knife and fork start from the edge eating inwards, then there is less chance of knocking your food off your plate and try to teach yourself to put the glass or cup in the same place so if you use your plate as a clock and straight ahead is 12 o clock, then put your drink may be at 1 o clock, so slightly to your right if you are right handed and 11, if you are left handed. Now, how do you go for your glass/cup? Well I used to lift my hand up as I did when I had sight and go to grab the glass/cup. But I learned that is the best way to knock it over, so if you place your hand on the table in front of you  at the side where your glass is, and slowly slide your hand towards the glass keeping it on the table so you feel the stem before the bit where there is a drink in or the bottom of your glass or cup, then you will not knock it over. Same when putting it down, if you place it on the table and push it in position, rather than gliding your hand above the table and guessing where to land your cup/glass then you may place it on a spoon for example and it will tip as it’s not level on the table, or worse, you may put it on top of something else, where as if you push it along, slowly, even using your finger to slightly stick out from your glass, as if to feel your way, then whatever  may be in the way, you will know about it and if your hand is low, again, you won’t knock anything over.

 

Sometimes we look ahead as if we are looking at someone, this way, we may look like we can see, again, confusing people. So, what I do is, look to the left, then straight ahead then to the right, and then down, so never long enough to be classed as looking at anyone as then they will smile, and we won’t, so we look unfriendly. In my old days, I have been asked if I’m bored. Answer, was probably yes, but what did they expect, I was sitting there alone so much noise, nothing making sense.  Just loud sounds a bit like a car crash. Or a nightmare you can’t make sense of!

 

Just be honest with people, don’t be ashamed or embarrassed, why, it’s not your fault you can’t see. We probably make a much bigger deal of it than they will or do. We are the ones who feel self-conscious.  We are the ones who don’t socialise or mix as we should, because of how we feel because of their reactions. If you understand yourself, they will understand you too. It’s all about communication and if you come across people who just don’t want to know you because you can’t see, believe me that is just an excuse as if you had sight, those would be the people who wouldn’t want to know you for whatever other reason.

 

And on that note, I shall go for now I have just heard from my Son, he has had some great news from work, his boss has put him forward for a pay rise, another boss,, not his, has put him forward for a bonus and he has been told there may be a permanent job going doing something he is loving right now. he is filling in for someone who is in hospital, and my boy loves it. He is working with the managers and they are really impressed with him. I’m so glad things seem to be coming around for him, I pray they continue, as he is a hard worker, has worked since the age of fifteen. He has studied hard in the work place too to get to management level in his two previous jobs. This job he started at the bottom, but the bottom was a great job and now he has found ladders and will take his first step soon. Hub is so proud of him as, am I. he deserves good things and those who deserve good, don’t always get it in this, life.

 

He has also told me that he is going with his girlfriend and two friends out. This is great, as he mainly has gone for food or for a drink but since he has started to go out with his friend and his girlfriend, he has started to do things he used to like to participate in. again, about time. So, tonight he is going go carting. Last week he went ten pin bowling.

I’m happy when he’s happy.

 

And finally loads of love to Carrie Ann, hope your eye has started to behave. Jan, please let me know about your hand? Sheila, thinking of you, hope you are feeling better. Vicki, get well soon, Lisa, you are amazing, Terry, enjoy your holiday and finally, a very happy birthday to Patsy and Catherine