DIARY OF PERFECT MEMORIES BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I had a really difficult decision to make last Friday it was so hard but I did it. I made it. It was against my Hubs desire but he went with my thoughts. The pressure of it all was really stressing me out and once I braved up and said what I thought, it was like a bottle of fizz that had been shook then the lid was pulled off. What a mess, but it was out, nothing could be done about it then or now.

 

It meant Saturday was slightly fragile and I wanted to run away, but Sunday arrived our Son and Shamrock came and I had a wonderful conversation with someone very special who gave me words that has given me some peace at last over something so important. That was then, this is now, the weekend has arrived with another decision.

 

Our lovely friend and neighbour came to us the other day bringing hot out of the oven the most delicious stuffed bread with wonderful spices and potatoes in. oh my it was amazing. Hub was enjoying his so much. She is the best cook. So, kind too.

 

My Son has gone and bought a puppy. He and Sham drove all the way to London to see it. He is just turning four weeks. Right now, he is a fluffball but going off the parents, he is going to be a real bruiser. The kids are really excited, I just hope to God when they are both back at work, they will be prepared for the damage the poor dog may cause. Thankfully that won’t be for a while, and they already have a dog walker in place to walk him every day and my Boy will walk him too at night and weekends. I personally can’t wait to see him. I love puppy’s but Hub won’t let me have one as we have our two guide dogs that will also become pets as they are much loved family members, so when they retire, they will be carrying on living with us.

 

Father’s Day came and went. Hub saw our Son and Sham and our boy was as always so kind. Then a hard week at work and Thursday, time for a break from the half six wake up alarms for work and time to celebrate our wedding anniversary. A special one this year. And special it was.

 

We decided to put my friend on our car insurance. She was so anxious. Then when we were sitting in the back, all windows open and our dogs in the large boot, cold juice ready to take, cold water for the dogs and my friend froze and considering it was the hottest day of the year so far haha. She didn’t know our car was an automatic…. She has never driven one before. Oh my, what a   hoot… thank God that Hub knows how to drive the car…. How? Not sure considering he has no vision haha, but he managed to get us out of a very dangerous situation by instructing Abbs what to do.

Oh, my, stuck on a very dangerous round about, our car wouldn’t move. Twice this year that has happened to us, once with our friends in their car and once yesterday. Cars tooted at us; I was fearful that the dogs would get hurt in the back if a car crashed into us. Anyway, long and short of it all, she managed to do what Hub said and we started up and on our way.

 

What a great time we had and Abs managed the car after then with ease.

 

We went to the woods. It’s a new wood and it was a great find another long story how we found them, and one day I shall tell you that story. But we parked, we only saw three people. A man on a bike and a couple of lovely ladies. One of the two ladies said to us.

“I know you two… Did you used to come into a pub a lot?”

 Hahahaha. Abbs said Hubs face was a picture. I mean, that sounds so bad, doesn’t it? We used to go into a pub a lot? Turned out to be the pub we used to go to once a week with our friends before lockdown happened.

 

I let Waggatail off her lead and harness to have a free run. Oh my, suddenly we heard the panic of a Wagging one splashing about in a stream. The stream was down a little hill. Oh, the sounds. I was scared stiff as I know she can’t swim. Well she managed to get out, and she was so proud of herself. Poor Little Fella still working on harness for Hub looked to her as if to say, Waggs, you idiot.

 

The pine trees were lovely. The walk was fabulous. Hub let LF off and he loved it. My nine-year-old guide dog loved her brother being off too, so, the two of them lolloped and played happily, but we came back to the car as didn’t want them to get over hot. We gave them a drink and drank our cold juice and then came home. Our Son came with the most beautiful card for us with such loving words inside he wrote.

 

 He is our darling son we are so proud of the man he has become.

 

He loved my gift from Hub. My Son appreciates the good things in life just like his dad and his dad got me this stunning rose made from Cornish tin. But it’s solid you would think tin would be soft and bendy, the detail was beautiful. Roses are special to me and my Husband for many reasons, but my wedding bouquet my much-loved mother in law made me was beautiful roses. She also made our wedding cake and it had sugar roses on the top which I still have by the way, in my china cabinet.  And of course, I have written before about the thornless roses she bought us for the garden that we dug out of our last garden to bring here. But thornless they certainly are not.

 

Our Son ordered us a lovely meal to be delivered and we had strawberries and Prosecco and to end the perfect day Hub played the piano, all of the tunes/songs that we had on our wedding day. It was so romantic.

 

Today we have shared the day in our garden and welcome the weekend together. Happy birthday to Judy Hannah and today, it’s Mikes birthday if it’s yours, happy birthday.

    

 

 

WHY AM I HEAR? BY FIONA CUMMINGS

OK let’s think for a while.

Gosh what is life all about? A question I have asked myself so many times along with why was I born?

 

Have you ever wondered why you, were born? To some it was because our parents had a little fun and nine months later, we popped out to say hello to the world. But for me that was slightly different. I was adopted at four weeks to parents who really wanted a baby they were childless for fourteen years before they adopted my brother who isn’t blood related but as a child that didn’t bother me at all. My big brother who is seven years older than me, was that, my big brother. My hero. My parents were older than me by forty and forty-seven years. They died when I was far too young. A fear I went to bed with every single night from the age of about four. I always knew they would leave this earth when I was young with them being a lot older than myself, but I hope for my Sons sake, I shall, outlive my parents as they were only in their seventies when they died, I was thirty.  I had a baby and I needed them more than ever. Still today I feel robbed being without a parent to support me or for me to send birthday cards to or visit hug them tell them I love them, be a voice at the other end of the phone. Christmas and Mother and Father’s day I wish I could visit my parents. But one thing my Mum said on her death bed, not that I knew she was dying at the time, was that I, was meant to go to her. And I believe I was. My birth mother didn’t want me and my birth father had no choice back then so, I was thrown away like unwanted rubbish at the age of two days.

 

I for sure have suffered a lot of pain in my life a lot of heartache, depression and seen things no one should have seen at any age. I have visited hell on earth been held down by the devil and if not for my poor angel who watches over me, I am sure I would have been suffocated by his strength.

 

I had to go through the long dark tunnel and fight my way through it to get out, but in the journey, I fell down ditches but thankfully I was pulled out of them, left dizzy and confused. Sad and alone. But coming up to ten years the love of my life married me and put me on a fast track to get out of the long tunnel that I had been in all of my life.

 

I got out of there and out into the sunshine, only thing is, I had been in that tunnel so long I was like those mining pit ponies who were blind when they got out of the coal mine as they had been underground for so long. Only I was blinded by a cruel eye disease called Retinitis Pigmentosa who came and stole my vision overnight leaving me with a baby and little did I know then, that I was going to  be without my parents weeks later.

 

I still don’t see the sun, but I feel it and I still wait with bated breath and a beating heart for treatment to release me from this prison of nothingness that I wake up to each morning. I wait for research to write Eureka!

 

Rather than a long dark damp tunnel these days, I go under lots of bridges and some of them are really low, making me claustrophobic, only these days I have my love and he walks by my side!

 

I have gone through life feeling like a punch bag or something to be used as a worthless being, and still have days when I have those thoughts, but I am stronger now and don’t allow those large boots to kick me and trample all over me. I tell, not ask those people to remove their footwear and put on some carpet slippers and I talk to them. If they are not willing to undo their laces, then I tell them to take a walk to another place, another poor person will have to deal with them and I am free of whatever they had planned for me. I have got rid of the rubbish and I am left with only quality, but it has taken many years to get there, to get here. But still, I ask why was I born, especially as the woman who gave birth to me tried everything to get rid of me when I was still inside of her. How many more years do I need to live to learn that answer?

 

My Husband tells me if I had not have met him, he wouldn’t be here now. Perhaps I am here for him and he is there for me and we are both here for my Son who makes us proud every day. But I hope one day I will be able to say to you all, this is why I am here!

 

  

 

THE BLACKBIRD @PoetryByFionaCummings

A blackbird sings to me

From up high on the apple blossom tree

It’s like he knows I cannot see

As he seems to sing only for me

His song is pure

He’s like treatment or a cure

He removes my stress

With his song I feel blessed

By nature, so divine

Wings flutter, so fine

Through my open window

As the gentle summer breeze does blow

He can fly where ever he needs to go

An yet he stays close by

I wait for him to fly

But still the songster sings

In the distance church bells ring

As if to accompany the chorister

Then my blackbird turns into a forager

Cleaning the tall tree’s

Of the bright red berries

I close my window

And alone again with silence

And a reminder of nature from the beautiful fragrance

Of the vase of roses, I picked from my garden

Life with Gods gifts is so amazing

Away from trouble and violence

Sadly, we have to face as a forbearance

But now and then

A song we find

A moment in time

 Peace without crime

 So, next time you hear the blackbird

Know I have sent him to you

Listen to his tune so true

Appreciate what he is telling you

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

 

DIARY OF KIND THOUGHTS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good afternoon dear Bloggets. It’s cold outside and wet but I am sitting in my lounge with my window open allowing cool air to cleanse the house and pretend I am outside. Because that is what you do when it’s summer, right? Sit outside. Not cuddle up to your jumper and crank on the heating…

 

Well we have been told that one person can  come and stay in our house overnight now as long as they are from the same bubble, so, only one person if your Mum for example lives on her own, and of course she has been lonely, then you can go and see her now and stay overnight. We are allowed one, bubble friend.

(Michael Bublé?)

I am joking, he has a family, he isn’t alone…. But still, he is welcome here any time. Haha.

 

Still no treadmill. Shops are not selling them on line and our shops are closed until Monday. Monday is the big opening of shops in England. Then things may start to move. And if they do, I get my treadmill, I too, may start to move.

 

It’s funny in the distance I can hear an ice cream van. They come around our streets playing a tune to let people know they are in the neighbourhood. Only thing is, they don’t hang around so you have to run like mad to catch them or chase the van down the street doing an impression of a hungry stray dog with too much energy.

 

My Hub has had really dry painful eyes for weeks now but he can’t go to the local Doctors as it’s not really an emergency and again with the queueing social distance thing. I really am not sure what it is going to be like for those of us who are blind in the future. I have a feeling that the 2-metre thing will be relaxed. It has to be for many reasons, but then what will happen I guess over the next two weeks, we will find out.

 

Our M&S are selling a large bar of chocolate with peanuts and caramel, yum doesn’t that sound delicious?

I think they brought it out for Father’s Day which is on the 21^st of June.

 

I was reading today what it would be like if there were no humans left on earth. I have often written what a paradise it would be for the animals, but with the power stations and equipment that we have in place to control floods and all of the damage we have caused with plastics, granite and other items that are not biodegradable! Apparently, it would take thousands of years to get to the stage where the animals would be allowed to live in a perfect world for them but never will they be totally free of human errors!

 

My lovely friend came with her Husband today to take our dogs out for a very long walk even though it’s been raining all day. It’s dull and cold but still bless them they came. So now my dogs are shattered for the next 24 hours. They walk the legs off them. They will sleep

 

Well I have done all of my on line banking and housework for the day now I just need to prepare dinner for Hub finishing work. I’m making him fish pie. With creamy mash potato with a cheese topping. I’m going to make myself a vegetarian pasta. Tomorrow I think I will make a stew. It’s that kind of weather.

 

Today has been a day of what I call dirty jobs like washing out the bin, mopping the floors and cleaning the fridge and cooker, not all in that order. I hate those jobs, well actually I love mopping floors I know, I’m sad, but I love to make a clean shiny floor. All of my floor’s downstairs are hard flooring and that is perfect for having two dogs. I have vacuumed the floors down stairs three, yes, three times today. Hub says I’m obsessed with my floors, but the three times I emptied the vacuum, it was full. I have changed the filter too in my vacuum. I have gone from a Dyson to a Shark and I much prefer the Shark. Though it is like having a workout when using it as it’s heavy in comparison to the Dyson. We bought our Son and Sham one like ours and they love theirs too though Sham has had a few casualties as it lives up to its name, Shark. Once something is in its jaws, it tends to eat it up!

 

Hub will finish work then have dinner, then take his Friday night bath to mark the ending of a hard mentally challenging week at work then we will have a cupper and cosy up  to watch TV I think I am going to put on the fire as it’s chilli but not cold enough to turn on the heating all night. And then let the weekend begin. I hope the kids come to see us tomorrow and we may fit in a walk with a friend and a chat on face time with our besties. What about you, are you doing anything different? We are kind of restricted, aren’t we? We can’t go to the movies or the theatre or for a meal yet, I hope one day soon, this summer has all been a bad memory but one we shall all learn from!

 

Stay safe, remember to take your hand gel wherever you go and wash your hands whenever you get the opportunity. From Monday in England, if using public transport that includes taxi’s, people are to wear face coverings and it’s mandatory. Thank God I don’t need to use any public transport.

 

And just before I go some quotes.

To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. Take care of your thoughts when you are alone and take care of your words when you are with people.  Happy birthday to Paula and Sheldon and I wanted to share a hug to let you know I care. Laters.

 

DIARY OF HAIR AND MORE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good day Bloggets. Hub and I have been in very close contact for three months now, thank God we are a couple who are in love and can live together without the thought of putting one of us under the patio…. But there must be so many couples out there who really are ready to visit a solicitor. May be a lot of you didn’t know your real partners before lockdown? All I can say is give it a chance, if everything ever goes back to normal, then your relationship will go back to what it was before this evil poison that has spread across our world.

 

Out came my jumper this morning, I can’t believe how the weather has changed. A week ago, we were burning and now shivering.

 

I’m sitting in my lounge after a very long days work. Long because I did a lot and long because it has been so dam boring.

 

I was saying to my friend over messenger today how lucky she is, she is really good with furniture upcycling it. I would love to do things like that. My other friend is a great artist and another friend goes out every day for a jog. I can’t do any of those things and I’m starting to get really frustrated.

 

In normal times, I could go to the shop even if I didn’t really need anything urgently. I would visit the chemist even if it was for headache pills, just to get out. I would go to our lovely fish and chip shop or even a walk around the block. I would meet a friend and we would go for coffee. Or out for a meal. But again, all off the menu.

 

Not having my treadmill to use up some energy is driving me crazy but you just can’t buy a basic treadmill, when I say basic, I mean not an all flashing singing and dancing one. The flat screens are pointless to us. We need one that we can at least use.

 

What have my readers who are blind been doing during lockup?

 

Hub has been playing his piano more and we have both been listening to music at nights. Classical music which is very relaxing, but it doesn’t use up energy.

 

We ordered our Son and Shamrock a sofa for their house four months ago from Furniture Village. Oh, my goodness. I will never buy anything from them again. Simply for their poor customer service. They have told so many lies it’s unbelievable. I said to them I was going to cancel the order, they told me I would have to pay 20 per cent to do that. Shocking, I have not got the goods so why should I have to pay anything? So many times, I have been told so many different stories, so many times I have been promised a call back that didn’t materialise.

 

Well that was yesterday this is today. Haha. If you know what I mean. I wrote the first part of my blog last night I have nothing much to do these days an yet have no time to write. That also may not make sense.

 

Some news on eyesight now, because of COVID-19, a lot of people around the world  may lose their eyesight because they have not been able to go to the Optician or eye Dr. eye conditions that could have been saved if only they could have received medical help at the right time. This is dreadful news. Let’s hope one day soon there will be a cure for all kinds of blindness, not just Retinitis Pigmentosa. Just something I read of late re help for sight I shall post at the bottom of here.

 

Ladies, how are you coping with your hair during lock down? My friend in America went to the hairdressers the other day. Vicki said she had to wear gloves and a mask. That to me is funny as those who can see sit in front of a large mirror to see what they look like I’m sure they are not enjoying looking back at themselves as an  apprentice bank robber?

 

Our hair dressers are not open yet. As I keep telling you, my Hub will look like a 70’s reject by the time he gets his hair cut.

 

I got a call today from my lovely lady who is a Chiropodist. Her prices have gone up £9, so now they want £40 to cut my nails? No, not happening. it’s not her fault it’s her very greedy boss’s fault. I wonder if hairdressers are going to charge more as well? I think that is bad because our government have been kind and left no one without money, even those who have their own business’s. but they are taking advantage of people.

 

Some hair facts. Black is the most common hair colour in the world.  

red is only 1 % and blonde 2 per cent.

We lose between 40 and 150 strands of hair per day. In 1950 only about 7 per cent of women died their hair, now it’s about 80 per cent.

Hair has been used to absorb oil from the water.

 Not sure if this is right, but I read today that 90 per cent of Japanese people wash their hair twice per day.

All of our hair follicles are formed in our body by the time we are five months old when we are still in the womb.

Just saying. Haha. And now for those links.

 

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2020-06-vision-gene- therapy.html?fbclid=IwAR3tuWQ3EgSAWndB7CjIFTIZQeXnHsJbWP0saK8KV2ZT37l_VhwzbdAN8ys

 

 

 

JUST A RANT BY FIONA CUMMINGS

How are you all feeling? Are you all coping with todays world?

What a world we live in. we are struggling with this dreadful evil so called virus around the world, we cry and are appalled by the dreadful murder of the black man in America who was brutally killed by a policeman who I hope is suffering now wherever he is. But rather than everyone protesting peacefully, there are thugs out there destroying statues and setting fire to buildings and cars. But what is totally disgusting is throwing bottles and worse at our Police in the UK. Most Police are good people who spend their working life protecting us.

I’m white so of course I don’t understand what people go through who are treat badly because of their colour, but I am disabled with blindness, so I understand discrimination.

 

All I know is, I have respect for those who are protesting peacefully but for those who are damaging properties and so on, I feel total anger towards you all and you are just thugs who are using this serious situation to get off on your disgraceful behaviour.

 

Thank God today saw the lowest number of people dying of COVID. 77. Of course that is 77 too many. For all the 40,000 plus who have lost their lives, it’s agonising. Just because our country is starting to open up, doesn’t mean the virus  has gone and remember those numbers, 77 people, A, have loved ones who are pining, grieving right now and B, remember those figures are from two or three weeks ago because you don’t get it one day and die the next.   So, in two weeks’ time, let’s see what the numbers are like. I pray they are low, but I think most people are relaxing now. I just hope people remember to wash their hands over and over again and with it being hay fever season in the UK, please carry handkerchiefs with you at all times.

 

Re masks, I hate them. I also feel for those who need to lip read if people wear those, how can that happen if people wear masks?

 

It’s hellish for those of us who are blind, a new world we have gone backwards to a hundred years ago as far as people’s opinions and outspoken views. As far as us not being able to go to a shop without a sighted person and for those who don’t live with sighted people, how can we not mix with people with vision if we need to shop. It’s great we are now getting at last groceries delivered but only once a week, sometimes you, run out of milk, bread, so, why shouldn’t I?

 

Sometimes going to a shop, is a person who is blind only outing. That has been removed from us. With social distancing how can we do this and how can we see to get to the back of a queue that is sometimes around the outside of a building? We are prisoners and we have committed no crime.

 

Horse racing is back on our TV. Sadly. No crowd though, empty Grand Stands. Silent races. Going back to the awful violent demonstrators, a poor horse was hurt yesterday whilst carrying a police woman who fell off the horse. I hate horses being used like that. I wish they were left to be free to run in fields.

 

Zoo’s are really suffering with this shutdown because people are not going to visit them. I hope we can do our best to donate to them to keep them from having to get rid of some beautiful creatures. I mean they still have to be fed. The beautiful animals depend on us visiting. Some zoos are trying to offer other services like paintings, please check out your local zoo on line, please?

 

In the UK they are now starting to open churches and other places of worship. But only one person at a time is allowed in to pray. I really don’t understand this. What ever God you pray to, he is everywhere, isn’t he? You can pray from home or in a park, you don’t need to go to church to do that? And the poor person who is going to have to sterilise everything before and after your visit. Church is about community, but if communities are not allowed in, then why go?

 

Well rain has fallen today for the third day in a row. It’s been so cold we have had to turn on our heating. It’s June…. We don’t live in South Africa, it’s summer in England…

 

How about a few laughs?

(I went skydiving today. A guy strapped himself to me and as we plummeted through the sky, he asked, so, how long have you, been an instructor?)

Oops.

(My Husband said. I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis. I replied, that’s 15 love.)

Thanks for the laughs Ian and a very happy wedding anniversary to Carrie and Gord. Xx

 

 

 

#PoetryByFionaCummings CLOSED BEHIND DOORS

CLOSED BEHIND DOORS

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Closed behind doors

Thank God for my four paws

She seems to know

I have to be alone

Sure, there’s a voice on the phone

But no hand to hold

No smile to see

Just my dog and me

A prisoner locked in

Without committing a crime

Sadness deep with in

More than a moment in time

Months have gone by

Tears I cry

Will life ever be normal again

Or is this the new pain

No one seems to be taking action

For those who are to blame

I don’t understand people’s reaction

So calm but I’m going insane

I can’t look out of my window

As there is nothing there

The world has gone away

As if no one to care

But the birds sing their sweet song

And then I feel I belong

And then I read of human destruction

And life for them goes on

No one has learned a lesson

We should have read this as a blessing

Our world is dying

Some, humans are crying

Grieving

But what can we do?

The wrong people are suffering

Whilst the evil continue

What will the outcome be?

Let’s wait and see

 

© Fiona Cummings