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Wednesday, 6 May 2020

LAST YEAR 2020 BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Dearest Bloggets, how are you all doing/feeling? For those of my Bloggets who are living on your own, especially those of you who can’t get out for whatever reason, I’m feeling your stress, pain and loneliness! Please readers, if you know of someone who is living on their own, can you phone them for a chat, email them or knock on their door, step away as they answer and just ask them if they are OK? Try to have a light chat with them and remember, they may not be in such a good mood, so be prepared, but you could save a life by doing this.

 

I have been so touched by some people who have asked if we need help, people I never imagined and those people will stay in my heart forever. I won’t forget it for sure, especially the kids in our street, there are two who work in a shop who have offered to get us anything we need, I feel so warm inside when I think of that moment of kindness. We have not taken them up on their offer, but if I was totally desperate, I know they are there and that is the most important thing. As when this all started, oh the level of anxiety was so terrible I am sure that was part of the contribution towards my heart pains I was having for a week. Total panic struck I was having panic attacks worrying myself sick wondering how we were going to get our shopping especially when we couldn’t even get a slot for a delivery.

 

Hub and I are so independent mainly because in our past when we did ask for help, we didn’t get it, so we learned to do it on our own. And what we can’t do we do without, but when it comes to food, that is a totally different situation, again, because of my past.  And I think I need to keep learning to drop my past and live for now and the future, having said that, who would have guessed that last year at this time we would be talking about 2020 being a year when we were all told we couldn’t hug our children if they didn’t live in our house, we couldn’t even have our kids in our house and we couldn’t go shopping as most shops if not all would be closed?

 

I’m not sure how it will work when Hub goes back to work as right now, he goes by train well how can you as a person without sight, avoid people? And from what I have heard, people are seeing people with guide dogs and they are not doing anything to keep away from them and then we have the situation where by a year ago, I would have said to those gifted with sight, if they see a person who is blind out in the town, village, on transport, to just ask if they need assistance? Now we are saying avoid us? Gosh it’s awful. Especially as how now can we get assistance in the train station? Unless the staff who normally do that job wear PPE?

 

I know right now my Husband is working with trying to sort that out.  He is working fine from home, but there is so much to do he is working very hard with a ten minute break after about five hours work then back to writing, and mainly having on line meetings about what to do next. He is shut away in a room whilst I am here downstairs with my beautiful dogs who are coping with this nightmare we are living through.

 

I say nightmare, but so far thank God, no one I love has died and I thank God for that every day. We have a lovely house and now, food and no stress about getting food after four weeks of hell, we now can order with ease.

 

Hell, as in I am missing my tiny family so much. I told my Son I am going to hug him so much I am never going to leave go. Haha. He thinks I’m joking…

 

My dearest friends Geordie, my footballer’s wife, and the footballer himself have been coming to my house once a week to take our dogs out for a walk and they have walked the legs off them. The process is funny, she texts me when she has arrived and I send them out with leads attached and they grab them half way down the drive.

 

Coming back, they do the same text I open the door the dogs run in I sterilise the leaders and collars then take them out brush them put hand gel on my hands and wipe them down then come in and clean my hands

But to be honest, I’m not sure we really know what is best, who knows how this is spread. I really believe it’s airborne. I fear it’s going to mutate and we may find a vaccination, but if it mutates, we will be back to square one surely?

 

I know all across the world I am hearing from people who are saying the birds sound so much louder. Perhaps they are happier or there are a few more of them or we are just hearing them now as there isn’t as much horrid traffic sounds.

 

They too may be enjoying the clean air.  In parts of Africa where cars would once travel, lions are now sleeping. And geese are laying eggs in places where would once be populated.

 

So, when we are feeling so sad and worried, think of the beautiful creatures who are not being ruined by man.

Oh. And woman….

 

When we are feeling alone, think of the future when we will have dinner again with our loved ones where as who knows, if we had mingled and carried on as normal, we or they, may not have had a future. And we would never again be allowed to have hugs or family meals with them as one of us would be missing….

 

As a person who is blind, this is a worrying time for me and my Husband. Both having no vision at all, what does our future look like and on a totally selfish note, 2020 was meant to be the year when our Government in the UK were to give a lot of money to eye research, but obviously now that won’t be happening.

 

I have to say, I am very proud of our government who I feel have done an amazing job and hold their meetings so eloquently every day at 5 pm.

 

I still sit around my Alexa and listen to the broadcast and when Hub can, he joins me.

 

I hope we all learn from this time and I hope we will all be better people because of it. Less selfish, kinder to others and moreover, the environment. I hope we all walk places rather than get in our cars and ask our neighbours if they need anything when we go shopping, to save them going if they need only a couple of items. Halving the traffic and people, or at least significantly reducing the amount of people out and about.

 

Hang in there and lets all hope for a better, brighter more beautiful future. Remember, talk to each other and you can email me any time.


 

 

 

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