THE DARK SIDE OF ME BY FIONA CUMMINGS #PoetryByFionaCummings

These poems are dark, so come with a warning.

HATE IS A STRONG WORD

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I despise you for all you have done

Cutting away at the love

And removing the fun

Unleashing the child

 And making him run

Breaking in and showing such harm

He was so caring and incredibly calm

Now filled with anger red faced and hurt

Shattered soul and, a broken heart

You get such pleasure in seeing him torn

Digging him with your evil horn

God I wish you had never been born

He wore a smile now is forlorn

Why don’t you move on

Find another

Leave him alone

  Let him be with a new lover

Put down the phone

Close your electronics

Drink a new tonic

Find someone fresh and full of life

Say goodbye and show him the light

Let’s hope he let’s you go without a fight

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

THE VALLYES OF HEAVEN AND HELL

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

Valleys part

The flowing rivers start

Life begins in my heart

The warmth from the sun

Life truly has begun

A fluffy floating cloud

So graceful without a sound

Flies by

In the new sky

A beautiful crimson butterfly

And among a floating marshmallow

Is a bird colours of blue and yellow

Valleys green

Bumble bees visit their queen

Baby lambs play in the field

Cows Graze

Under a leafy tree

This is a new world to me

Mountains high

Point to the sky

Where warmth is given by the sun of orange and gold

Where the earth races to hold

In the palm of its hand

Our new land

Where we will never understand

Why we were given such a gift

This morning I have a lift

From angels I have never met

From silver raindrops so delightfully wet

My morning view

Of sky so blue

Oceans of salted turquoise

Oh such wonders, such joys

Without noise

Just beautiful sounds

All around

Birds sing their morning song

This is where I belong

How did I get here?

I’m without fear

An yet there are no others like me

I can see

 And hear as well as walk

My voice, can I talk?

Yes I can 

But it’s not a voice I know

I can hear it echo

I don’t understand

What is this land?

Valleys below

Tipped with snow

Did I climb up here?

If so when

In the far

I see a hen

Laying eggs of gold

The breaze blows

An yet I don’t feel cold

Petals float from a rose

It’s a different kind of air

There are no wires

No tires

No smug

A deep green leaf

Entertains a ladybug

There is no grief

No pain

Carpets of love protect me from falling

Canopies shelter me from rain

The sun doesn’t burn

Am I here to learn?

If so I will be the best student

I will never be truant

My work shall be fluent

But who will teach me?

I guess just look around and see

Such wonders

No blunders

I never want to end my class

Who showed me this path?

I ask

As I look to the sky

A silver wing floats by

I reach up to touch it

I feel so fit

I can do anything

I pulled down the wing

Took a flight

Into the night

The bruised sky

Threw me high

Oh why?

Why did I want more?

Through this flaky door

Into amber flames

This isn’t funny

Not wanting to play these games

 Stood before me

Failing sight I see

A creature in red

Wanting me dead

Black is the day

Fear is the night

Life full of fright

Please take me back

Away from black

To that world so beautiful

Where I would be dutiful

Never would I ask for more

Please guide me through that evil door

Where are my angels

Where have they gone?

Allow me another chance

To hear that bird song?

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

HOPELESS

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I’m simply a hopeless case

A number without a face

I look in the mirror

And see a disgrace

But what do I do about it?

Everything I start I quit

Pains in my stomach with grief

My life I’m in disbelief

How could that be

And why me?

How to move on in life

Without facing challenges and strife

Which way to go

I just don’t know

Others aren’t telling me

Or giving me the key

Where is that door

And once more

If I find it where next?

I feel so angry, so vex

Pains in my chest

Tears rusted

I’m busted

Revealing all elements for all to see

I just want to be free

From the black cloak

See through the smoke

I don’t want to choke

As I pull off the fingers which forbid me from breathing

And I sigh a relief as the bony limbs are leaving

Another stronger hand replaces

Shadows chases

Into nettles

Where are the petals?

It’s icy cold

I’m afraid

No hand to hold

Pushed into the grave

To my pain I’m a slave

I just want to cut the chains

To my soul I lose

And the devil gains

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

LOOK THROUGH MY EYES

BY FIONA CUMMINGS 

 Look through my eyes

There’s no disguise

Not one single surprise

Look through my eyes

 From my point of view

No sunsets

No pretty view

Regrets?

I have a few

That’s how the old song goes, right?

For one day and night

Take my lack of sight

See how much it changes your life

Simply pour from a boiling kettle

Cut your leg on sharp metal

Sting from the prickly nettle

Have headaches

Bruises and breaks

Sunshine?

Not for me

For these eyes of mine don’t see

A pretty bluebell?

Yes I have smell

But just to see for me

Would take me out of hell

To walk free

And go wherever

To know others are not ashamed of you

And will love you forever

If only I could see

It would mean freedom for me

To leave the four walls at whatever time

What have I done to stay in this prison?

Committed a crime?

Just for a moment listen?

 

To look through my eyes

Just for a short while

See how I paint on my smile?

Simple things in life

To you, give me such strife

To look in the mirror, before I go out

Is so frustrating I just want to shout

What do I look like?

Old young?

Why have my eyes

Deprived me from fun?

Waving my fingers in front of me

Trying my best to see

Even a shadow?

Would mean the world to me

My child’s beautiful face was stolen

When he was just born

Now he’s an adult, what does he look like?

I’m so torn

I wish you could see like me

Just for a day and night

You would see a world full of shivering fright

Open your eyes turn on the light

There would be no difference

From sunset to dusk

Difficult to judge distance

Always feeling like you are a hindrance

Hating your every existence

Pain is a must

Feeling alone

No one is in

When you pick up the phone

Not knowing the time

Can’t see the clock

Can’t turn the heating on

Or off when it’s hot

Hearing laughter outside

But they don’t hear you crying

Seeing your smile

But don’t know you feel like dying

Turn on the TV

It’s much of nothing to me

Put the radio on

It’s full of where to go for the day

Wishing the nightmare would go away

Pick up a book

What for?

Trying to cook

Can’t see the numbers on the dials

Washing clothes?

Gardening, thorn from the rose

Getting lost somewhere you knew so well

Get me out of this garden of hell

A place I found so peaceful

Tranquil and beautiful

Now blades slice through

Where flowers once grew

Friends who were never away

Are suddenly busy every day

 

Just see through my eyes

For one single day

At least you will see again

Say goodbye to the pain

 

Copyright Fiona Cummings 2015

 

AND SLOWLY HE WILL BURN

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

 Closing the curtains and the world behind

Shutting my eyes so long have been blind

Locking the darkness out of my mind

Hoping the evil won’t be able to find

Shadows of blades

Bang against my window pain

Fighting the force I prayed I wouldn’t see again

Clashing smashing, bashing sounds

Glass of poison all around

Cuts so venomous

Life is pernicious

Slipping sliding on the ground

It’s absolutely treacherous

The demon speaks and I’ve been found

His eyes bore into my soul

Piercing fire glowers

With his hatred he shows his powers

He is so dishonourable

And completely malicious

I’m so vulnerable

And he’s so vicious

Closing the doors

Cracks appear on the floors

I can’t escape the demonic wars

 My fate the cards are dealing

As blood drips through my ceiling

My eyes pulled out

I try to shout

But no one hears me appealing

So lying hear

In total fear

Just waiting

As the situation keeps inflating

He won’t be happy until there’s nothing left

But leaving him I don’t regret

As one day he will learn

His Malevolent mind

My maker will find

And slowly he will burn

 

© Fiona Cummings

www.fiona-cummings.blogspot.com

  

 

FROM THE MOUTH OF A BABE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

FROM THE MOUTH OF A BABE

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

He’s a funny little fellow

With a black snout

And his ears are yellow

He’s quite stout

With orange paws

I keep him on my drawers

Next to the door

He peers out of my window

His arms are blue

And his eyes are the colour of cinders

With a straw sun hat on

And a Dicky bow tie

He’s something to cuddle

When I cry

 

Mummy does laugh

As I throw him to fly

Just after my bath

He’s put by my side

His name is Domino

I didn’t give him that silly name

Mummy says it’s the name of a game

I used to bite him

When I had a pain

Daddy said I was teething

 

When I wouldn’t eat the food from a jar

Mummy pretended to feed Domino

And called him a star

I, wanted to be a star

Whatever that is

So, I opened my mouth

And ate that nasty slop

What’s that all about?

Feeding shrink wrapped mini peeps

 Different food to the tall ones?

They have cakes and scones

And eat with big tools

We have to be fed as if we are fools

Then handed tiny spoons

When we grow that little bit larger

But who wants squashed food

When we can easily manage a burger?

Mummy tells the tall ones

I’m still young

I think my name is one

Because that’s what Mummy says

The good thing about being a shrink wrapped mini peep

Is I can do nothing but play

 All my days

Oh, and then there is sleep

Not too keen on that

But at least I have Domino

With his silly hat

Ive tried to get rid of that

But Mummy fixes it back together

He will be my friend forever

 

Mummy made a loud noise one day

As I tried to throw that thing away

You know that thing they shrink wrap me in

Mummy puts it in the bin

Normally followed by a word called pooh

Or stink

I haven’t learned yet what it’s for

But as I threw it on the floor

Daddy came through the door

With lots of water

As I smiled at him

Mummy said she’s yours

You wanted a daughter

He said of course

So, is that what I am?

Mummy said she’s stressed

Daddy looked at me and said he’s not impressed

Well, I knew that

He’s Daddy

 

Domino never pretends to be someone else

He’s just Domino

Wherever he goes

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

THE RIDDLE OF THE GUIDE DOG BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good afternoon Bloggets. I have just got in from a lovely meeting where deep and meaningful conversation were had. I love such get togethers. Waggs was a good girl and members of the public were of great interest. A coffee and sandwich with a friend was most enjoyable. Home now, glad to see our house is still as locked up as it was when I left it as of late, we have had some strange goings on. During the night our Little Fella, who is only little in age not size, has barked at 4 a.m. and being spooked just before midnight another night but last night about elevenish our door bell rang. So late in the evening, I had to wonder as I had that dreadful feeling, it was the Police my Son had been involved in some awful incident! I’m so positive… Not…

 

No way I was answering the door so I shouted who is it? No, answer. So, I repeated and again no answer, no car but I thought I heard a fast couple of footsteps. So, I think we may have a chancer on the prowl.

 

There is no better feeling than to get home, know your house is safe and feel comfortable. My heart goes out to all of the people who are being affected by earthquakes and hurricanes right now. The news is full of such sadness and fear.

 

As you may know, my Son was due to go on holiday to Cuba. Thank God, the holiday company have had the sense to cancel it, but they have chosen another holiday. This time to The Dominican Republic. As I learned today, that too is due to be hit by hurricane Maria! I just pray firstly that it won’t be hit badly if it has to be hit at all, people and all animals, will be safe but secondly, if it is going to be dangerous there, my Sons holiday will be cancelled again. As far as he is concerned, he is going unless the holiday company will cancel. I just pray that if it is going to be dangerous, they will, stop it from going ahead.

 

As I was talking today to my friend I agree with her, about believing that our lives are mapped out for us and if he is not meant to go, then I hope he won’t. Looking at the difference between Cuba and TDR, the latter looks a much better holiday, though my Son loves culture and not sure how much of that will be in The Dominica Republic! But, it looks so lovely there.

 

Boy Wonder got up for work at half five this morning and Hub twenty past six. It’s a very long day for Hub as he is hosting a dinner tonight too. As for me, oh it’s great, I made a huge chicken pasta for the family last night and there are left overs so easy peasy tonight. I’m going to chill all day now as I was up early today and have done all of my housework. Fantastic. Half two in the afternoon and apart from feeding my dog Waggatail, there is nothing to do.

 

Out today with my guide dog with her harness saying in bold writing. “Guide dog, please do not distract, and my friend is training a puppy to be a guide dog so he wears a blue vest with Guide dog in training on, still the public ask to stroke, play and chat to the dogs. If we were standing perfectly still, then yes, but my friend was trying to get her lovely pup to meet Wagga without jumping up on her. It was rather obvious that some training was going on, but still this lady insisted that she would come over and when my friend suggested it would be a good idea not to come over right now, she wasn’t too happy. She didn’t say anything, but I can imagine what she thought. It’s a funny one, as I have said before, it’s a fine line, we of course don’t want to be rude and we are not, but there are signs saying don’t distract but people just don’t read. For new Bloggets, reason being, if I am walking with my dog to where ever, and someone just suddenly stops in front of us, firstly I will get a shock thinking I’m about to walk into someone, then my dog will pick up on that and it could disturb how our dogs  continue on that route also if the person talks to us and makes a fuss of the dog, the dog will get excited and possibly try to turn around and around leaving us totally disorientated to continue on our way, and, the next time our dogs may see that person, what if it’s across the road on the other side and our dogs forget they are working and try to take us across the road? Or, stand still refusing to move until that person comes to chat again? If we are in for example, the cinema or theatre, well we want our dogs to lay down and be totally quiet. If someone talks to our dogs, they are going to get up and cry when that person leaves to take their own seat. Then to get our dogs back down all calm again? In church, we don’t want our dogs barking in the middle of a prayer. Smile, so it’s not that we are rude, it’s just how it has to be. Of course, if we are standing still waiting for a friend for example, and you ask first, then I am sure most guide dog owners will say yes, it’s fine to say hello to our dogs, when that happens to us, I always keep a hold of the lead and the harness, as nice as people seem, as a blind person, we really don’t know who is touching our dogs and who can unclip them from us, but that’s just me.

 

Our dogs are our lifeline and to us they are like legs to the lame, hearing for those who are deaf and a way of getting out and about for those who can’t see. We can’t pick one up at a shop, we can wait up to a year and a half for a replacement as our dogs have to be matched perfectly for the partnership to work. It’s no good giving me a dog that needs to be out for a few hours every day walking for miles or a dog that is used to travelling on trains every day or no good giving my Husband a dog who is active in harness wanting to go go go. Not when he has to stand up in conferences to give a talk or sit at a boring desk all day! I would not be able to work with a dog who walks really fast as I am a moderate walker. Or a fast walking person a dog who slowly walks along. And, it’s no good giving a dog who would eat a cat for starters to a person who has cats, or a dog who doesn’t like children, to a family with kids. Not that the dog will hurt the child, but the child may make the dog anxious which will affect their work. So, this is why we can wait. My first dog, I waited twenty months and my second, Waggatail, only two months. My Husbands last dog had to be able to cope with London, on trains and tubes getting him through crowds but this one doesn’t have to be too active as Hubs job has changed, so this dog is quite different to his last one, our Long Chops. Oh, she was such a good dog, I miss her so much and I looked today, at my blog stats, for the first time, the blog I wrote about her passing, (The most Difficult Diary) has disappeared from the top five most popular blogs. For two years she was in the top five. For a year and a bit, she was the most read. I hope it’s a very long time before I have to go through that pain again. I lost my Black Beauty, my first guide dog, almost a year to the day, before we had to say goodbye to LC. LC was only nine, where as BB, was 12. But, LC went so fast within three days. To see my love in such a state too, was too cruel. Our dogs are six and three now, I pray for a long life for them as we are fortunate we are keeping our dogs after they retire.

 

Going back to stats on my blog, the US are double views to the UK and have been for the past few months. Still there is a big gap between the two countries though as far as views go. America is about 26 thousand behind the UK who have read my blogs 93 plus thousand times! Poland are hanging on in tenth position. Russia are third, Ukraine forth and Germany are fifth. 6^th, 7^th 8^th and 9^th? Canada, Australia, South Africa, and France.

 

I’m going to catch up with your lovely emails to me now and messages through other means. But before I go, some riddles.

David's father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and _____ ?

Answer? Come on, read it again and see if you can guess the other name of his Son?

David's father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and _____ ?

Answer

 

David.

Mr. and Mrs. Mustard have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the Mustard family?

Now, I bet this one gets you it did me. Here it is again.

Mr. and Mrs. Mustard have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the Mustard family?

Answer?

 

There are 9 Mustards in the family. Since each daughter shares the same brother, so there are 6 daughters, one brother and Mr. And Mrs. Mustard.

You live in a one-story house made "entirely of redwood". What color would the stairs be?

I love this one. As it’s so easy, but I still thought about the answer.

 

What stairs? You live in a one-story house. There are no stairs.

 

Hhahahaha. Who’s going to admit they got that wrong?

A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

Answer

 

 the woman is a photographer. She shot a picture of her Husband, then developed him then hung him up to dry.

There are nine Mustards in the family. Since each daughter shares the same brother, there are six girls, one boy and Mr. and Mrs. Mustard.

There are nine Mustards in the family. Since each daughter shares the same brother, there are six girls, one boy and Mr. and Mrs. Mustard.

 

This is easy, even I got this one.

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip, that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?

An apple a day, keeps the Doctor away.

 

Sending smiles.

 

 

 

 

 

  

DIARY OF TODAY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

As I sit here, after receiving my home grocery delivery, and after I have had, every single strange delivery man coming with their bags of goodies, and minds full of oddities, I can tell you today’s delivery man was the most peculiar of all!

 

So, you may be waiting for a description of him? Honestly, I wouldn’t know where to begin! Let’s just say, I was glad to close the door.

And lock it!

 

My eyes are in a lot of pain today. Both of them. This is rare, normally it’s just one eye. Both of my eyeballs feel as if they have been kicked by feet sporting pointy shoes and then pulled out by forks. They also feel as if they are being squeezed out and are bleeding behind them. The pain is giving me a headache. Just to open them feels as if A, my eyelids are so heavy and B, where there were eyeballs, now are holes. It’s as if a draft is getting in my eyes. I need a warm bath for them, a warm towel and a hug. Smile, pity? Me? No. I have a nerve, pardon the pun, to complain about pain when I know just what my poor Husband owes through with his eyes. He has pain every single day of his life. Thankfully, they are not at all like when he and I first got together. But that was down to his old life and thank God now he is free of that. But still it’s a cruel world when we have pain as well as our eyes not working. Some, would say, what kind of God would do that?

 

My love is working today at the office and he is really unwell. Shamrock brought more germs to our house passed them onto our Son then he onto Hub. He has a big couple of days a head of him too. A large conference where he will have to do a lot of talking.

 

My Son cooked chicken with garlic last night. I didn’t go near it, and I asked him to clean his dishes so I didn’t even touch them an yet, I have washed my hands so many times and two showers later, I can still smell garlic on my hands.

 

Who said garlic was good to keep colds a bay? He eats loads of it and still he has a cold, cough or saw throat. Having said that, he goes out when it’s rather cold wearing almost nothing as he heads to the gym. I fear November and beyond for him. A coat? What’s that? Smile.

 

He is at the gym for the second time today. This time he is being shadowed. Sham is going as BW has been asked to train a lady from his place of work, so I guess Sham is chaperone.

 

Today my heart goes out to you all but those in Mexico? Oh, it’s dreadful. The world has seen such devastation this year.

I appreciate the two people in my life who are closest to me, my dogs and all of my dearest friends. I’m blessed my family are safe.  

It’s really odd, there are no birds I don’t like it. I hate the sky being silent of tweets. I sit and wonder why? Do they know something we don’t know?

 

Tomorrow meeting with a lady so I guess our mouths will be working overtime. Let’s just say, there are no silent moments when we are together.  

 

Words before I go

Success consists from going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

Winston Churchill

It is never too late to be who you might have been.

George Eliot