I'M SO NOT ONE OF THEM BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good evening Bloggets. It’s so cold and very wet outside. I went into the gym before and oh boy, here is a real blonde moment I had. So, I’m thinking at my age, (34)

Stop it…

How could I have grown taller?

Well this baffled me, in fact my baffle has never been so, well, baffled.

As I trotted along on my treadmill, oh, no, sorry, raced, like a speedy jockeyed horse,

 Okay.

 More like one of those donkeys on the beaches in England, you know the ones that take the small children for little strolls?

 

I pondered over the situation of how could I be taller since I have been exercising?

Oh, *blush*

 It dawned on me.

 I have had the mill going uphill. So, of course I am going to feel taller.

Let’s just keep that one to ourselves.

 

You long term readers may remember many years ago I have written about when I had a bit of sight, I went to the gym a public one, lots of people. Mainly pumped up hunks and undernourished designer cladded girls.

I was with my friend Jan. well we managed to get on a couple of treadmills next to each other, I actually didn’t get on two mills, no, I’m not that talented to put one foot on one mill and the other on the other. One may do the splits and that wouldn’t be a pretty sight, especially as one wouldn’t be able to get back up and one would have to be scooped up by one of the hunks.

Dam. Why didn’t I do that one person two treadmill trick?

Knowing me it would be one of the starving twig like gals that would come to my rescue and because she wouldn’t have the capacity to lift the Fifi up, I would have to be tugged, pulled and heaved from my situation. Either that or an involvement from the local fire station.

Again, dam.

And I apologise for all the times I wrote the word, one, in that paragraph…

 

Well there I was on the treadmill and I saw this person in front of me. Oh, I laughed to my friend saying, well I was worried about me, but look at that poor love, I look rather sprightly in comparison to them… then I focussed into the face. oh, my it was doing an impression of a tomato. She was so red. Again, scoffing to Jan I said. “she should stop, bless her.”” Well my friend by this point had to get off her mill. She was bent double. I was concerned. Oh, no my normally fit friend was having a heart attack. I stopped the mill got off and through panted breath, I asked her to lay on the floor.

Well that made her worse. Gosh the sounds coming from her were loud, but hang on, she was laughing.

She stood up slowly, I steadied her. She pointed through a teared face. She couldn’t speak properly.

I looked to where she was pointing. That red-faced unhealthy person was standing next to a person who looked just like my friend.

Hang on, it was my, friend.

Hold on,

It was, me?

 No, how?

My friend recovered and said I had been looking in the huge wall mirrors.

Well I didn’t even know there were mirrors in gyms.

Why? Who the heckers wants to watch themselves working out?

 

Oh, seriously, you know how you get really cool people in life?

I’m so, not one of them!

 

 

THE END OR START OF A NEW LIFE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Oh my, dear Bloggets. Here we are, no matter where you, we, are in the world all of our lives have changed in a similar way as common as breathing, we are all effected by this COVID 19, formally phrased as Coronavirus. Tragically, I fear I have lost some readers to this scary virus. I pray this will be over with soon. But how? Sadly some, people are not taken notice to the rules. I have read just a few, thankfully, really stupid posts on social media where people just are not believing the facts that are out there. There are so many myths and conspiracies regarding (COVID-19) and no matter of your opinions the facts are, people are dying, young and old. Those who have additional health issues, and like today, I read in the UK, a healthy 27-year-old man has lost his life to this virus, leaving behind at least his 10 day old baby. These victims are not a myth. They are not made up. This is a war and whether you believe it’s an experiment from the lab that has gone wrong, a chemical  deliberately been released, people eating poor creatures or the Bible coming true, earthquakes, bush fires, floods and quotes like “And this gospel of the Kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, then the end will come.””

It’s written that Jesus sits on a mountain of olives. (Spain, Italy?) “People will become lovers of self.” Does this translate as people being selfish all for themselves or loving the same sex as themselves? “lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless unappeasable slanderous, without self-control”” and the words go on about how awful humans will become, including how we will appear Godly but forget the power of God. In other words, humans are the scum of the earth. Which is really sad, as I know a lot of very kind people, I guess I know or have known, pure evil too. But I was gifted strength to get rid of them in my life and now I have peace, but am I good enough in Gods eyes? I’m sure I’m not. Who is, even good people are far from the perfection in the eyes of who we call God?

 

It’s also written. “And you will hear of wars, rumors of wars see that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet.””

(Few) smile.

 “Shut up the words and seal the book.  Until the time of the end many shall run to and fro. “” (Run to and fro?) could this mean leaders, medics and so on frantically reading, researching papers, signing agreements, just rushing panicking to find the serum to find a treatment for this virus that could end humanity as we know it? The words continue.

“Concerning day or hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the sun, only the Father.”” (in other words, could this mean this virus caught us all off guard? As in no one knows?

“There will be great earthquakes, and in various places famine and pestilences.””

(pestilences) translated a deadly epidemic disease. Are you getting what I am writing now? It continues. “There will be terrors and great signs from heaven”” Could terrors be terrorism? As for the great signs from heaven? Could this be the goodness that is being shown in humans at this moment because of this virus? Proving that humanity is not dead entirely? And I love this part of the bible. “You must be ready, for the sun of man is coming. Then there will be great tribulations such as has not been from the beginning of the world until now, if those days had not been cut short, no human beings would have been saved.”” So, why do I love that? Is this prophecy explaining we are now being given a last lesson to save the world? To save humans? As in end wars and pollution? It’s written “But for the sake of the elect, those days will be cut short.”” (Elect) people we choose to rule our government? I mean, they are the ones who make the changes on global decisions. They decide cuts on carbon emissions and so on, wars, journeys to lands we are not meant to have knowledge about, if we were meant to go there, I believe we would have been created there. I like most people am fascinated by space, other planets, I totally believe in other species, aliens. But if we found them, we would kill them. Humans are not good enough to except them and leave them to live their way in their own world. We hope, they tell us, to one day possibly live on another planet? Rather than saving the beautiful earth we have been given. Did humans come here to learn, or are we here for other aliens to look at us and learn from us, learn how not to behave?

  

       Some more from the bible which I would like to talk with you through my own translation.

“For as the lightning comes from the east and shines as far as the west, so will be the coming of the sun of man.”” (The east? China? Travelling to the west?)

See what you think of this? It’s also written. “So that no one can buy or sell.””

(buy or sell?) hmm shops right now? It’s hard to buy and harder to sell.

 

Another quote from the bible. This one blows my mind. “And I saw a beast rising from the sea with ten horns and seven heads the whole earth followed the beast.”” (The beast in the sea the whole world followed? Followed as in social media TV Newspapers and so on, we were all fixated by the cruise ships with people on would they die? Where would and will they go as another cruise ship no one wants so it is just waiting to find somewhere where it will be excepted. I guess in the days when the bible was written, a cruise ship would have looked like a beast, a beast as in size. The dragon is spoken of, well again, China? It’s also written that labor pains will come upon a pregnant woman and they will not escape. Okay, now it’s getting spooky. So, our wonderful Prime Minister has just been diagnosed with C-19 and his girlfriend is pregnant. So, he has not escaped from the virus. Though I pray he will be OK as he is the best PM we have ever had in my opinion.

 

It’s written both great and small, rich and poor, no one can buy or sell. Again, it’s so hard to buy as we are used to and for those selling, most now are at home, their gold they earned before has no value now, the crashing of the economy.

 

It’s written about four beasts. The first beast speaks of its rider wearing or given a crown. (Crown, translation, Corona)

Words like the King of the east coming up against Israel.

 

Well, going back to where I started this blog.

Changes. We are all experiencing change. I want to tell you what COVID 19 means to me and how it has affected me personally.

 

Firstly, I have found myself in deep thought as the above briefly shows, please let me explain, I am far from an expert of the bible, my religion heads towards Christianity, but is just face to face with it as my belief is different to what most people believe in. I believe in angels, and spirits. Aliens and a God.

I hope for kindness and despise hatred and cruelty. I believe in a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye, and don’t or can’t seem to think of myself as such a good person to be able to turn the other cheek. That is the bad side of me. I can not forgive and to be honest, I don’t want to forgive, or haven’t in my whole life, until the past few months when there is one person I have forgiven because the love I have for that person is way beyond any painful potion from my past.

 

That forgiveness only comes because the guilt has not been proven directly in front of my eyes, only my ears and possible lies I have been told.

 

I write in riddle, I guess what I am saying is I am what I am and I am not sorry for that. I believe I genuinely care about good people and I cry when kindness is being hurt. I am genuinely thoughtful when it comes to other people’s feelings and lifestyle, as long as those people are in my heart, my mind, good people.

 

This virus that is spreading around the world is making me feel very dark, disappointed and depressed. But at the same time, I feel hope, happiness and hysterical. Hysterical in a way of laughter and feeling as if I am going crazy.

 

Is this a time for us all to wake up and look around and see, hear and feel what we have closed our minds to all of our lives? Is it now time for compassion, care and cruelty free? If this virus, and I stress, if, this has come from eating poor animals, then should we now look deeper into eating food that does not bleed, cry or suffer?

 

Do we need everything we see or hear about? Do we need to keep building that wall around us to keep out those who may need to sit with us and experience some compassion? Do we need to close our windows to keep out the cold and ignore those who don’t have the luxury of warmth?

 

There are people doing things for others now that they wouldn’t have even thought about a few months ago. Personally, I have seen kindness from people who have not shown me it before and felt love that I want to except where as before I would have thought, you know what? I have those in my life I love, I don’t need any more people to love, but now I realize that love costs nothing, or shouldn’t, and I have loads to give. Lots to share. But I shall be careful who I trust as still devils walk among us, but angels have for sure been brought out of their cloaks and they have been given wings to fly and prove themselves.

 

Because of this virus, our air is cleaner by far after such a short time. Fish, dolphins and swans are places they haven’t been to for in some cases decades in fact some fish were previously thought to have become Ext inked.

 

 In my back garden, there is the fog of not so fragrant car fumes from the road of death near us, but in our front garden, wow, the air is like what it was when I lived in my green Northumberland. My home. Pure air, today it was earthy. I could smell the earth. The leaves, spring floral buds and the sky. That may sound odd, but I can’t see these things, so I use my other senses, which according to myths, my other senses kick in and become stronger, not true, they are the same as yours, only I don’t have the distraction of sight.

 

The odd thing is, from my front garden to the slightly more polluted back, it’s about forty feet, about 12 meters and I can differentiate the air quality. And the cars I would guess are half to what they normally are right now, so if doubled like before, I would not be able to once again go back to my childhood and remember the fragrant air our youth have never known. Now, stop the cars from the road at the back of my house, wow, the clean air would be amazing. I am also enjoying the sounds of the spring birds, though sadly, less than last year which saw the decrease in the birds from the previous year.

 

So, are we meant to learn from this? Or is it the start of the end of the world, at least as we ever knew it. After this is over, if it ever will be, I mean, we do still have the flu for example, will we go back to who and what we were before, or will we be better people. Are we seeing the birth of humanity? Already I am seeing amazing people. Is this our lesson, or are we preparing ourselves to go with our makers son to a place we live forever or are we going to dance the flames with the devil.

 

Tonight, is freezing cold and pouring with rain, but I for one am not ready for the heat of the devil, nor am I wanting our earth to die, be stolen, swallowed up and burned out whilst I am placed on another planet. I may be reunited with my much loved and missed family and friends who have moved on, my pets too, possibly I can take with me my family I have on earth and my chosen friends? But what if I am on a different level to them, what if they are better than me? Who will judge me? I’m told by our bible; our Father will judge us. But what is good or bad to him, may not be good or bad to me.

 

Do I want to sit at the feet of Jesus, or do I want to show him respect but walk by his side?

 

I hope after this, if there is an after, we can all walk side by side and be more caring towards others and our earth. Do we really need two, three or four holidays abroad per year? Do we really need to eat as much meat? Should we not be kinder and open to others?

 

Well my next blog I shall tell you a lighter version of what this virus has meant to me. The nightmares and difficulties some of us who are blind have had and are having to face. And the amazing tear-jerking moments that have happened of late.

 

Gosh, I didn’t intend this blog to be quite as long and never expected to be so serious. Please take this seriously don’t think it happens in other countries or a certain kind of person. This is a real fight only we can beat. Stay home as much as possible and practice washing hands and spraying surfaces after you may have contaminated them. I used to put my shopping of grocery bags on my kitchen work tops. Not now, tomorrow I shall tell you the huge changes in every day life. Especially from a person without sights perspective!

 

God bless. Our creator has a lot on his mind and we can help by listening to our leaders and our souls. Not believing in every word, but at least to Annalise our situation.

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

 

     

 

   

 

CORONA DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Hi Bloggets, last week,  whilst the wind and rain threaten the sky with snow, I did wonder where spring went to and asked myself if it got lost, and from last week to now? gosh,   as this morning I heard a lonely bird singing its beautiful song, the sun Shon so warm which was a relief  Not what I wanted later on in the day as I got soaked through when the sun turned into clouds and the heavens opened to once again wash the earth as if to cleanse our land.

 

And talking of cleansing our land, wow, how much has changed for us all this week. What is happening? Could it be the start of the end of the world? Is it some experiment from China that has been released? Why are China not holding their hands up and apologising for their murders? Why do other countries have to suffer because of whatever they have done? Or, is it Gods way of slowing down the planet and making us all take a look at life and revalue what is important to us in the meanwhile, there are few flights, so our skies are without pollution, less people are travelling by car to airports and train stations? Less people on our roads in their cars and we are to stay with our family now, possibly communicate? Go back to what it was like in the good old days when parents had time for their children and actually had to use their imagination to entertain the little darlings rather than send them off to a child minder or other member of the family.

 

Is it time to appreciate elderly people? Realise just how important they are in our lives?

 

Whilst out in my front garden today, the smells were so different. It could be because spring is on its way, or is already, the air cleaner?

 

If you think about it, the start of the year right up till a couple of weeks ago in the UK, floods damaged our country and winds all over the world bashed our beings. Four weekends in a row, our city had awful floods. I said at the time, the devil has arrived. And for some now, he still visits as he takes the lives of loved ones, but let’s hope this is a cruel lesson for us all I just fear that as humans, we will never learn, but this could be an education.

 

 Again, a third day in a row I tried to purchase hand gel from our huge supermarket and other smaller shops. The lady told me today she started work at 8 a.m. and the shelves where there was hand gel were totally empty. Also, have you seen the prices of toilet rolls? If, you can get them again limited stocks are in our shops.

 

I went on Amazon and typed in toilet roll and I got loads of notifications saying out of stock, then I was offered wait for this?

Bedding sheets…

And then cat food.

But then we were back to the essential loo roll. But it was one and one only, with the face of Donald Trump… and it was £10 per roll. To put it in perspective, we pay on average, 60p there are 100 hundred pennies in one pound.

 

Thankfully our little Shamrock came to the rescue, bringing us supplies, so we didn’t have to send for the bed sheets, or, the cat food?

 

What has that got to do with well, going to the toilet?

Don’t answer that.

Yesterday I went into a large department store and it was 3 pm I was told I was the third customer that day. It was like a ghost town.

 

I, wonder which country will be the first to come up with the treatment to treat Corona virus?

So, the symptoms? A cough and a temperature. Flu like symptoms. Face masks are OK to help to stop others catching the virus if you have it, but won’t stop you from catching it by wearing one. By the time you fiddle with your face mask, after touching your face you have the virus on your fingers. After Touching a table in the restaurant or a door handle where someone with the corona virus has touched before you then you put your fingers/hands to your face without washing your hands or using a good gel, that is how it’s spread. The virus is found in droplets. Most people will be okay if they do catch the virus. But for those at risk, those who are not so strong or who have conditions for example asthma this can be dangerous.

 

So, what do we now all do? Keep clean, carry handkerchiefs and if you have to use them, throw them away safely then wash your hands. Use gel if you can’t get next to soap and water.

 

By wipes for things like phones or computers.

 

I do wonder if China will give all the countries who are affected money?

 

And finally  if you are going on holiday abroad, please check out your insurance and if you don’t have any, get it fast if you can because I heard that in England, some insurance companies, are actually stopping insuring people who are travelling abroad, those who have insurance, check that you are covered for corona virus.

 Having said that, if you still can get a flight, what will be the point of travelling as when you get to wherever, you won’t be able to do anything, as everything will be closed down. Have you ever known a time when churches are closed? Even in war, churches were open.

 

 

 

Better weather shouldn’t be long coming then I hope we are all in a better place by then and this has been a part of our history we will talk about but we will have survived the awful virus or whatever it is, don’t get me started with my conspiracy.

 

My Hub has had a really bad couple of weeks at work, he got up the other day, at 5 in the morning to get to the train station for six. To be told his train was cancelled. And here we are 11 in the evening, he walked through the door after eight tonight 12 hours after leaving home, he ate his meal I cooked then he has worked ever since. I guess he will close his lap top soon, I think he has worked about 32 hours this week so far and its only Tuesday. My Hub is like his brother, they for sure have the genes of hard workers.

 

Whilst my Husband has been working, I have been trying to sort out plumbers… my heating is now on, I am grateful it cost a lot though to get a guy out for twenty minutes. I’m not sure how plumbers can charge so much money to do a simple job, but I guess they have a huge call out charge before any work is done so we are led to think that price is for a simple job.

 

Before the world went crazy, I went to the pictures with my friends, four of us went to see a film called Emma. A real classic. Before modern day producers got a hold of it.

All four of us were, looking forward to seeing it.

All four of us at one point during the movie fell asleep.

I have never done that in my life.

At one point my lovely friend turned to me just after she had found herself in a state of slumber, she asked me with concern.

“Oh no, I fell asleep. Did I miss anything?”” to which my response was.

“Don’t worry love. It’s fine.””

 

Because I am lucky enough to have provided earphones with audio description, I really enjoyed the beauty of the setting, but the story was trashed. Still I’m glad I got out and great company as it will be a while before that happens again.

Take care please

Stay safe and well.

 

 

 

 

   

YOUR ARMS #PoetryByFionaCummings

YOUR ARMS

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

It’s so lovely to have you in my life

To fight the battle of troubles and strife

To have found someone as kind as you

To have fallen in love with someone so true

My forever loves

I thank God above

For every day you are with me

Your words bless me

Heal me

Love me

Your thoughts cure me

Help me

Release me

Our breath beats as one

It is in your soul I belong

For every second of my being

It is only your arms I want to be in

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

PEN TO PAPER LOVER #PoetryByFionaCummings

PEN TO PAPER LOVER

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Though the ocean keeps us apart

You still have found a place in my heart

Though our eyes have never met

I feel like we belong

I dream of you at nights

And think of you by day

Your pen to paper

The words you write

 Never go away

Those words I savour

Memories forever

Plans we have together

A lifetime and forever

With you by my side

No longer we would need to hide

The secret is out

Your name I can shout

For it’s you I have found true love

That is without a doubt

One day we will meet in a mutual land

 Hand in hand

As Cupid will understand

You have dressed my heart

And filled my world with hope

But first we have to travel the globe

To get to each other

Until then you shall remain

My pen to paper lover

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

JUST A DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Debating whether or not to visit the gym for the second time today. You may be thinking wow….

But I have eaten three pasties.

One for breakfast, one for lunch and one for good luck.

 

Yep, one thinks the gym may be a good idea.

 

I have just sold something on line. So, this meant someone had to come to my house when I am on my own. A total stranger. But she came firstly I was pleased that she was in fact, a she… and what a lovely she she was. So lovely. I sold my Hubs juicer. Don’t worry he knows about it. Haha.

Of course, she didn’t know I was blind. Then we had that awkward moment of handing over the money. She held it out for me to take. I opened my hand to take it. She kept a hold of it. I kept my hand there.

I don’t think I will ever understand why if my hand is open, do people not connect? It’s like the embarrassing hand shake moment where someone has held their hand out to shake and I don’t realise.

 

Anyway, I had to tell her I was blind and she was lovely. I just hate wearing that badge.

 

I actually fell a sleep last night at a good time. Before 3 a m. our house was in silence only the creaking from the heating could be heard. I’m getting used in a good way to being on my own when Hub is away because I am going out during some days which helps and I have my best friend with me my little Waggatail. I wonder if she knows how much I love her? I also have my emails from my adorable friend Louise and my live chats with friends on line. It helps that they, are from America so their bedtime isn’t mine. Well, having said that, what time is my bed time?

 

It’s really windy here today, it’s rained every day for a month and it’s snowed. We have had floods all over Britain.

 

There is a man in England who is the oldest man in the world. He is 112 next week. Wow, what an age and he still seam compos mentis. He has seen kings and queens I have only seen one Queen and I’m getting on in age haha.

 

My lovely friend Sheila said to me the other day, she thinks we ar the same age…. She is in fact three years younger than me. I do love that gal.

 

My Hub is now in Ireland. I wish he was back but I have to wait another 24 hours. Especially after there has been announcements that some flights will be cancelled due to this virus that the world is witnessing.

 

I can not believe it is my baby boys 23^rd birthday tomorrow. Where have all the years gone. His Dad bought him a very special gift a sound bar Boy wonder is like his Dad in the respect they are both into great sounds when it comes to TV and music. I’m hoping that I will be going out with BW and Shamrock tomorrow for something to eat to celebrate his birthday.

 

I hope you are all well and as we are now in Spring, lets get happy about our future months of good weather, I say this as sleet slaps itself against my windows in the coldness of the darkness outside. I am blessed that I have a roof over my head. I have heat and electric. More blessed we are not flooded though those not too far from me are not even able to stay in their homes because of floods. This year has been hell for some poor people.

 

Later on, as I take my dogs out to their dog run, I shall get back into my house, close and lock the doors, feel the heat as my bones shiver from being outside just a couple of minutes then once again thank God for my luxury.

 

It’s almost 9 pm and in the distance I hear a train. It’s so romantic the fast-flowing drops against the glass too. But sometimes reality isn’t romantic.

 

My house is filled with daffodils. I love the smell of them. When I first went blind, it was those flowers I missed the most. I in fact couldn’t buy them for about 10 years. The pain was too much. But now I am back to loving them and what they represent. New start the beginning of spring which walks us into summer and then autumn. So, a lot of lovely weather to look forward to.

 

Yesterday was one of those days when I just wanted so badly to wake up and suddenly see. You know, where for the past 22 years, my brain has been telling my eyes they can’t see but that day was going to be the day when my brain forgot my eyes couldn’t see and my eyes caught up!

 

Yesterday was going to be the day when I would open my eyes and see the sun shining through my bedroom window. I was going to wake up sit up in bed and put my fingers to my eyes and move them one by one, seeing my wedding and engagement rings for the first time. Walk to the bathroom a look in the mirror being prepared to be shocked in how old I now look compared to the young girl I was all those years ago when sight was robbed from me.

 

I lay there dare I open my eyes? I prepared myself for the worse, there we go am I telling my brain I can’t see? What if I truly believed I could see, what if I programmed my brain?

 

I once again lost the battle and blindness prevailed. I woke up in the dark grey room and went to the bathroom in the dark. My soapy wet fingertips saw my face where my eyes failed to tell the true picture.

 

But I live  another day to tell another story and pass on some words.

 

If you are feeling stressed, find somewhere comfortable to sit, open a window if it is daytime if night time, turn off your TV or other sounds and inhale and exhale. Turn your worries into wisdom and then you will find answers to life. life has a way of imposing pain on you, but it’s your choice to think about how you can get through it. And for that we have choices. Sometimes those choices are uncomfortable and difficult but still, if we have never tried it that way, who knows, that way may be the right way!

 

Life is a flower and from that comes honey. Honey is sweet and so can your life be but it takes work, it doesn’t appear in front of you in a dish.

© Fiona Cummings