Today I have been learning all about the lump in my eye. Old
Bloggets will remember that for years I had a lump like a dry pea under my eyelash.
I had it for six years. I visited the Doctors many times but they just kept
saying they weren’t worried… Nice, as I, was. Then one day it suddenly wasn’t
there. But what was left was a white mark on my eye. Not visual to others, just
it was on my eye lense. Though I can’t see, I can still today see this nasty
dirty finger-mark at the very bottom of my eye. Like a foggy window. If I’m
blind, how can I see this? Anyway, I just learned by internet research that the
lump is in fact, called a Chalazion!
There are various ways to get rid of this lump and it’s not
considered dangerous. But what concerns me is the fact I can see this dirty
foggy mark. Is that the fluid that has come from this cyst?
You can get rid of
this lump by a clean warm cloth with some baby shampoo on or, dip a green
teabag in hot water for five minutes, squeeze it out and place it on your lump
twice a day for a couple of weeks. There are various other ways to get rid of
this lump, but will mine come back? As it just burse two years ago and came
back last month. I had it for the first time for six years. I’m aware of it all
the time. It’s not nice.
Sadly, our dogs are not getting out today for a free run as
the field is flooded. It’s a shame as they know at weekends they get their free
run. It’s rained all night and forecast to do so all day too. Still cold as
well. 7 degrees.
Hub is on the treadmill. He’s totally obsessed by the gym.
He listens to his sport and off he goes. He’s doing about 10 kilometres just
over 6 miles per day. Me? I’m a total lost cause and it really bothers me.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day in the UK. A sad day for those of
us who no longer have our Mums. And to be bombarded by texts, emails and
advertising on the TV and radio about not forgetting it’s Mother’s Day makes me
quite annoyed.
I remember the first Mother’s Day after my Mum died as she
died in the January and Mother’s day in March. So, not too long after she left
me. I was totally devastated. My heart burst with pain. No amount of stitches
or love would heal what I felt. So, the constant reminders really didn’t benefit
me. It just rubbed salt into the wound.
The second year was just as bad and the third I cried
buckets of tears. I missed her so very much. Every time I looked at my baby, it
broke my heart, as he was without Grandparents. Something that should never
happen. Every child should have a Grandparent that is good kind and different
to a parent.
Someone to add to the bringing up of a child. My Son did
without so much when it came to family. That can never be fixed. And it hurts
me so badly. I tried to be everything to him, but no one can be that.
I remember my first Mother’s day as a new parent. No card no
flowers, nothing from my ex to recognise the day. Again, I think my first
Mothers day with my baby, he was about three weeks old. So, all new. Mind you,
the only thing my ex brought into hospital to me was a cheese pasty. I would laugh if it wasn’t so tragic.
My now Hub says he wishes things could have been different and he was with me
since we were young and he would have brought up our Son better. I know he
would have been a great father in my Sons early days, and I can only thank God
now that he has been in my Sons life since my boy was almost 12. Enough to bring him up to be the independent young
man he is today. It’s thanks to my Husband that my Son has focus in life and I provide
the love. So, a great team. But with regards Mothers day, for those of you who
are facing the day without your Mum for the first time, I know your pain. And I
promise you will over the years deal with it better than you will this year.
You may shed a tear or feel really sad but that will dilute in time to just a
painful thought that will be replaced by other things in your life, I just so
wish that companies would stop all the advertising. It’s all about money now.
If you love your Mum, you will be there for them all the time and you don’t
need one day to thank them. One day you are told to thank them. It will be a
day of your choice.
For my dear Bloggets who are not Mums and never will be, you
are not forgotten about, you will be appreciated by others every day for
something but because it’s not a day for you called thank you for whatever day,
you just may not know how special you really are. For those missing the fact
you don’t have a child, a Mum to me is someone who loves and cares. You may do
that with for example your dog. I do know someone who actually buys herself a
gift from her dogs. And, what is wrong with that? After all, our dogs love us unconditionally
every day. And, if they could, they would buy us something but to be honest, the
love I get from my dogs is better than any gift. So, next time you are feeling
so sad you don’t have a child, look in the eyes of your pet or someone you have
just helped. We go through life not knowing just what we mean to others, it’s
just we are all rubbish at telling people how grateful we are to them for whatever.
My dear friend Louise is my Mum from a far. I love her and if I ever need to
vent she is there to give her honest advice. My friend Pauline also is a huge
help and Mary you know how much you mean to me. We have memories I can never
and never want to forget.
You, are special. You, mean so much to so many people. You,
don’t need commercial crap to make you feel better. With love from me not only
on this day, but every day.
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