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Thursday 30 October 2014

THURSDAYS DIARY


A very quick blog. Tomorrow Hub has took the day off, this is rare so it will I hope be nice? I hope the weather will be good enough and we can do our big local shops so Wagga can get some work? Today we went to the local small shop for our normal bread she was OK, at least got me there and back, via the sniffing paths and posts. And I’m not talking perfumed products, but more like poodles poop!

 

Today teen arranged his bedroom. Looks much better. Now he is washing his clothes. I’m lucky he is quite domestic like that, so less to worry aboutfor me is putting in the dreaded colours are a nightmare. but I love the idea he still asks what goes with what, it’s kind of a confirmation as he knows, but wants to make sure. Glad I have my uses for something for him?

Good news for him and another he is close to, he got the job. I am amazed. His second interview he went for last week. Well there were loads of people who applied for the job and he was told he was the youngest by miles. So two days a week now he will be working. I don’t care how long he sticks at it, its good experience for his CV. He has dealt with food now electrical and his new job will be tools.

So now I have finished my Christmas shopping, all but Hubs gifts. I really don’t know what to get him. But at least I have the three kids bought for. I bought for my Aunt and my best friend. Also Father in law, and a few friends, well, when I say few, about nine of them. It’s been a nightmare, can’t get out doing it so internet to the rescue.

 

Oh guess what? My Brother got me an amazing gift! Haven’t got it yet, when I receive it I will let you know with bells on. Very kind though.

Oh with Hub being off this weekend, I wished we could have gone away overnight, but can’t. Money is so tight for us from now on. I don’t miss his old job at all though. But it does mean our lifestyle had to change and of course with the Ex of late and his mean mannered message, which meant once again, he took from me to put into his own bank that will remain there for a very long time.

Teen is seeing him next month and no doubt they will have a lovely time. The ex is coming here, no, not to our home, but our town. Probably taking out teen and the gf I’m sure, though it should be teen treating his Father, as his father does enough for him when he goes there.

Teen and his Father played badminton at the weekend. Guess what? My fit energetic young Son was defeated by his old Father who is in his mid-fifties.

The ex has always been very fit and sporty. Good for him, but I was shocked he is still winning his games.

So tomorrow is Halloween. Well, didn’t get a pumpkin, but we have all the other food just not the soup. I will make some for the 5th of November, our next celebration.

Teen has had a great week with his friends, it’s good to see. They are all out tonight in the town to a Halloween party.

Yeah right… Spooky cocktails? Not sure if we will get trick or treeters this year, we only got one lot last year.

OK, off to do tea now. Fish grilled. Yack, double yack. X

 

Wednesday 29 October 2014

A MUST READ PLEASE?


Good day to you all my Bloggets. Well, today my heating doesn’t work… I have installed HIVE. I told you about it some months ago. Though most of the time it’s amazing as I can be hundreds of miles away and set my heating via my mobile phone, by a simple text, the internet has to be working, my internet has been jumping in and out of service all morning so now no heating and very precarious internet. So who knows when this will be published? Oh my house is so noisy today. My dogs are going mental. They are running around playing with their nails tapping on the wooden floors. It’s like being under an umbrella in the pouring rain.

Tip tap a trillion times.

 

My oven alarm keeps going off. I have pressed the right buttons so many times, but obviously they are not the right buttons, haha. It is quiet for a few minutes and starts again, really, it’s as though I have someone attached to a heart machine in my kitchen.

My Canary, he’s Irish you know? Is singing so loudly today, oh I adore him, what has he to live for and yet he is so very happy. I have never heard such a loud canary.

 

Oh now LC is growling at little Wagga. My head is spinning.

Teen went out last night in his friend’s car. All the lads now have cars and for now, they are toys. Wait till they realise how much petrol costs? They went for miles, as teen left his wallet in a pub the other day when he was with someone… Thankfully his kind friend took  him back to the same place to collect it, if not  for his friend, I don’t know when he would get it back as the person who he was with wouldn’t, as she is away again for half term.

So he had a great night, in the end there were three of the kids he is friends with all in their cars. Oh it’s scary how many of the children are driving? Of course I got wrong for telling teen not to get in the car if his friends who were driving were drinking, he told me to stop being negative and he or his friends wouldn’t be so irresponsible…

Well, five hours later, he got home safe thank God.

 

Today he emptied the dish washer for me and re filled it, even offered to make me lunch. Now he is at the gym. His friends are all at work this afternoon, but no doubt he will be out late tonight with them. They are a lovely group of lads from what I have heard from not only teen but other people around here.

Oh this week has been an odd one. On Monday I had a meltdown. I just couldn’t bring myself to do the same old housework again. I couldn’t face it. It’s the same thing every day of my life. I need a break from reality.

I would love to do something new, but what to do? I will never forget the day I was with friends in America, oh it was amazing, my friend took me to the activity centre. Where there was swimming pool and various games. We went into an art room and I painted. Oh it was freedom like I have never felt. The best thing, the ladies who were there I doubt had ever been asked to give materials for a blind person before but they didn’t make a fuss about it, I still have that mirror and will treasure it for life, and one day who knows, I may be able to see through it?

Today I read a post from a group I am in about a lady who has just found out her Son who is eight has my eye condition. She is devastated. She is in agony. She is grieving. Oh bless her. I feel so very sad for her. My Mum was in the same situation when I was four. If only I could go back to those days to tell my Mum however she worried, it would make no difference and if only she would put her efforts into looking at what I could do and not focus on what I couldn’t do, my life would be easier, but I will never blame my Mum for anything she did. She did what she thought was best and that was to take me around the world and fight for my sight. Bless her because of her, I saw my babies face, OK, only for a year, and because I didn’t live in the blind world, I couldn’t didn’t really cope when I lost my sight, if I was prepared, life would be so much better, I would have gone to University and been someone now, like my Husband is.

 But how would I cope with the news my Son was going to be blind one day? Oh I can’t even begin to tell you how painful that would be, though I would be different to my Mum, but life is different now. Blindness back then had no future and there wasn’t the technology around then. For example I wouldn’t be able to write to you all now if not for technology. I have the very deer software in my computer that talks, each word I write and as I have said before, thankfully, one and only one thing my school taught me, was to touch type. I am so grateful for that ability, as without it, I would not be able to write my blogs, my poetry or speeches I write for people, my short stories or even just to shop on line for gifts and groceries.

Oh and of course you have heard about my mystery clothes shopping?

 

Because of technology now, Hub and I can watch the TV and know what is on the screen as we have great audio description in the UK. We can set to record programs, well hub can, me? I’m rubbish, well; you know how men say that we are so much better at things around the house than they are just to get out of it? Haha, I’m like that with technology as far as the TV goes. When I see my Hub checking what’s on the TV, or setting a program to be recorded, I’m in ore.

But he does it and he can’t see. Tech can allow us to text friends on our mobile phones and kind of tell what colour clothes we are wearing. Of course nothing will replace sight. Nothing at all and this day for me to see, I still need, I just don’t live for that anymore, but I think partly because I have hope now that it’s not the long dark road we used to have to travel down.

As for my melt down Monday? Oh when Hub came home, there was no work done in the house, there was no tea ready for him, I felt so guilty. But he was so adorable. He hugged me and said the most important thing was that I was there for him to hold and for him nothing else mattered. You know I just needed that as after then, I got energy to carry on another day.

For this poor lady, I wish I lived closer to her, as I hear her pain through her words. I want to tell her and other Mums out there and Dads of course, your child may have Retinitis pigmentosa or any other eye condition that may lead to blindness, but May is the operative word. As may not either end up blind. There is so much research out there so much money being spent, sadly not enough as if so we would have a cure or treatment quicker. You know there is a race on in the world who can find the treatment first? Well, why don’t people put us before competition? Get all together with all of their knowledge and how quick would we have a treatment?

To this lovely lady, no one can tell you what to do, but from a person who blindness was thought of as a curse, and by the way, I agree it is, though I’m sure millions of blind people will disagree, and that is up to them, all I can say is if my parents told me I had RP and could end up blind, it’s not the end of the world, I would have been taught Braille, I would have been able to read to my Son rather than feeling so guilty I couldn’t read to him in print, and didn’t know Braille. I would be able now to read medication as in England we have Braille on all medication. I would be able to read our bills as they all come in Braille and I would not have waited until this old dog can’t get the spark or energy to go out into the big bad world on her own without feeling a total wreck. I would not be a failure like I feel now. I know since my days of feeling like death because of my sight loss, I have gone to college, I have taken so many exams to prove to myself I can. Every exam I took I ended up with an A, an A* or a distinction in whatever I did. It came so late though, those qualifications should have come when I was young and lead onto University and then a job.

People would say it’s never too late, I feel it is for some things. I hope one day to have my writing in paperbacks on shelves and audio books as well as Braille. Then my life would have been worthwhile. In the meanwhile I can only wait to see my destiny. I have loved the fact this week I have received three messages of kindness saying the blogs keep those people going, I really am grateful for that, as at least I feel like I am doing some good.

Going back to that lady/Mother. I would tell your Son he has an eye condition. I wouldn’t say he is going blind or to be blind one day, as he may never end up blind and one step at time. Then see what teacher he may need at school. Teach him or get him taught Braille, again, he may never need it, but if the inevitable occurs, then he will be ready, get him trained with the white cane, he may not need it now, but if he is taught it now, it won’t be like it was for me as an adult, or in some peoples circumstances, awkward teen years uncomfortable and cringe worthy. It will become normal for him to pick up his white cane and go out to the park to see his friends, really, kids will be horrid to him, but he will never make friends if he is protected in a safe environment. Little Jack, will say Tom, come out and play, but only if Tom is seen out and about, otherwise Tom will be the boy who is blind, not Tom who’s a right laugh and Tom who can ice skate better than any of his friends. I had a friend at school, he was blind and you should have seen him ice skating? He had no fear. My Hub used to ride his bike up the lanes. Yes he did have a couple of crashes, but he soon learned that you have to listen for parked cars and that is a skill as an adult, he has never lost and is so helpful now when we are out and about.

Yes blindness is dreadful, I hate it, and I can’t bare it some days. It has me as low as can be. So low I am crawling on the ground, but that is mainly because I am in the house, I’m not out at work like my Husband. I am hearing my own echoes and have no conversation with intelligent adults. If I had the knowledge of the blind world when I was young, I would be so much happier now. I can tell you though, that I have a lovely house, we have done so much to our house to make it lovely. We did it all on our own. New bathroom, including picking the tiles and all the accessories for it, new carpets again picking them ourselves all decorated, we chose the colours  as we did our furniture and conservatory size and shape. The tiles on the floor and the wooden floor in our lounge. Our blinds at the windows are also designed by us with no help from family or friends. Yes it’s probably took years off our lives with stress, but we did it and if you are the kind parent, you will be there for your child when he or she needs you, as long as you give them the ability to know that they have the knowledge to face life’s challenges on their own as you won’t be around forever as I learned when my parents died when I was thirty.

Few, gosh, this is my blog for today, when I started to write; I had only the weather in my mind. Since then, I could not type fingers so cold so I got a pen, pushed into the never ever regions of my heating box and bingo, my heating is now on. See anything is possible to get by and until I can see the beautiful flowers and smiles on my loved ones faces, I won’t ever be happy, but I have a dream for a Husband and a stunning Son, who gives me hell, but I adore him and he is a great person to so many people. I have some wonderful friends too and most important, I like you and your children, have a future as long as we keep getting the funding to fight blindness, and find treatments, we will make this difficult world together. Oh and I must add, I have a blind friend, who plays tennis. Yep, tennis, he also goes to do archery.

Could a greater miracle take place, than for us to look through each other’s eyes?

Tuesday 28 October 2014

STATS FOR OCTOBER AND MORE


Here are the top ten stats for almost not quite the end of the month. Just to be clear, this is in a year, not in a month, but there are big changes to last month. I will publish the monthly stats at the bottom of here, but we now have 61,000 plus in total. XXX

 

United Kingdom
29566
United States
16005
Ukraine
5366
Russia
2004
Germany
1465
Mexico
642
Japan
594
France
445
Canada
342
Poland
153

 

 

So for this month of October 2014

Ukraine
3038
United Kingdom
655
United States
626
France
85
Germany
46
Russia
44
Canada
32
Poland
19
Netherlands
14
Mexico
12

 

And a big thank you to the other 27 countries who visited this month who have not quite made it on this chart, because it only shows the top ten. Over another fifty countries also for the year. Thank you and welcome to our family of Bloggets. X

THE DIARY OF THE PUMPKIN


 Good day to you my Bloggets. Well, teen came home last night with the biggest pumpkin. He picked it and carved it, it looks great. He has done an amazing job. So now we have it on our windowsill. I hope it doesn’t scare our canary? He’s Irish you know? The bird, not the pumpkin. Not quite sure what nationality he is, but I can tell you, he looks happy and you should see his eyebrows? Gosh, if I had them, I would have to see a butition!  

Or a gardener… Seriously, there huu’uuge.

So he is looking out into our avenue of all sorts, smiling away like there is something not connected, like missing? Well, there is, his inner sides, bless him. Teen made soup at the house he was at, but it didn’t sound too tasty, as he used sour cream and put oil on it in the oven first? But he said it was OK. It is next to our bird and Buddha. Haha. What a combination.

Great to have him home. Of course he was starving. I fried some steak for his supper. Not seen him since Friday. He isn’t sure about the University he went to see. Shame. But he did see his Father, so not a wasted visit to my hometown. He went to the coast. Our coasts in Northumberland are the best in the United Kingdom. I promise.

 

As long as you don’t mind sun bathing with your jumper on…

Anyway, my baby is safe home and no doubt he will be driving me wild tomorrow. His leggy blonde tutor is coming tomorrow… Haha. Oh a story about her. I will tell you. Well, first week she came, was very friendly, week two she knew I couldn’t see. Didn’t want to speak. Week three, ran away and week four, was just rude. So when I see her, I’m going to make it so she can’t run away, don’t worry I’m not going to kidnap her, just stand in front of the door. Some people are just born odd. She loves Teen though and he is benefiting from her visits. I hope. He has his exam in a couple of weeks, oh heck. Time will tell.

I had my dog on my knee, as you do, and the little tinker, crawled from my knee to Hubs. She is such a man’s dog. He chased her too, saying she is a working dog… Haha. Oh but I needed a cuddle, shame she didn’t feel the same?

She loves her Daddy. And he loves her, but won’t ever show it in public.

Trying to think what we can do this weekend. Hub wants to go out, but where? If I could blooming see. I would know of loads of places. A Christmas market is coming soon to our town; I would love to go there. But impossible.

Oh well, forget the fragrant candles and cinnamon sticks, the aroma of Christmas cakes and sweet mince pies, there’s always Amazon online? Hehehe.

The weather right now here is unusually warm. It’s sunny forecasts and about 16dgs, I don’t know what that is, perhaps 60F? All I know is its warm and it’s almost November.

OK, will go for now, take care cos I care. X

Monday 27 October 2014

DON'T GIVE UP BY FIONA CUMMINGS


DON’T GIVE UP

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

At times I hit the ground

When there is no one around

But then I wait a day

And feel so proud

I want to shout aloud

This is what I would say

Please hear my words

I want to feel free

Just like the birds

Flying over the trees

Remove my chains please

Show me the door

 And hand over the keys

Turn on the light

Don’t give up the fight

Take that step with all of your might

OK, we don’t have sight

But for us there is a future

We have to find some humour

Among the rubble of our culture

If not

We have lost what we’ve got

And that is each other

Believe me there are days when I am lost

And nothing can take me out from my pain

But I wake up on a new day

And I can go on again

This life is tough

Most days are so rough

But I have one thing and that is hope

So when you want to reach for a rope

Stop and think

Your life is in a cup to drink

There is tomorrow

And next year

Be better than your sorrow

Wipe away your tears

Know you’re not alone with your fears

But listen out for the cheers

When you get your goal

You will be on a roll

  And nothing will stop you

As you have a good soul

And a hand to hold in mine

I promise we will all be fine

And that day for us will come in time

 

Copy right Fiona Cummings 2014

tails from our town


So we had to go to our town. I must say I was really dreading it. It has been about two months at least since we last went on our own to town and I feared our dog would forget the route as would we. I asked my Hub if he was anxious. He said with reassurance no. Well, I guess when you have travelled the world like he did with his job, our town is not as fearful compared with his old job. For me? I was shaking. I got dressed and sat on the bed. Then brushed my hair, sat on the bed. Put on some make up and sat on the bed. Then, I just sat on the bed.

Hub shouted up for me to come along? He asked what I was doing, I told him getting ready. He said still? I answered yes, and then thought, what the heck am I actually doing?

Oh what choice did I have? We needed to go to the bank. Couldn’t put it off. Hub had a haircut appointment too.

Blue T/shirt on, dark blue jeggings and lovely cardigan my friend bought me, its navy with really pretty buttons and all colours mainly red. I have navy shoes and I took a red hand bag. Got to the bottom of my stairs and thought, oh now then, I have some jeggings like these but purple.  That would look awful. So out came the colour machine, really it’s not much good but helps a bit. So first it read white, then dark green, then dark blue. So great, as purple reads, white, then orange then dark pink then light purple. Hahaha. So we get there in the end.

 

Poor little Waggatail was to stay behind. I got my white cane, took out some treats for Wags as I gave her a cuddle bye bye. Hub harnessed up Long Chops as I closed the door between me and Waggatail. Her pretty pooches face, pushed against the glass panes in the door, as she wasn’t coming. I did feel so sorry for her. It was different when I used to leave her with BB. At least she wasn’t alone. Our teen was away in our old hometown, looking at a University.

 

So locked the front door, mobile check, money, cheque? Haha. Bank details check, Doggy doodle bags just in case check. White cane check. Heart beating normally cross.

Off we went. On our adventure. It’s always an adventure as we never know what the heck will happen or where we will end up. I’m always amazed how we do it at all? I mean its OK people saying others do it, but those who may think it’s easy, then perhaps they would like to try it one day? We are both totally blind and walk to our bus stop. Find the door and then where the driver is, then a seat, then to know when it’s time to get off? That is almost impossible for me any of it, my Husband is the hero in all of this. The only part I am any use in our town is, when we go into a building, I know how to get where we need to be and get out. Then when we get out, I know which direction to go. Hub struggles with that, so I am some use in a very small way. To watch him and his dog work is just incredibly inspiring.

Well, on the way to our bus stop, I told Hub we needed to go much closer as we were not quite there at the stop? Oh you know me; I just plodded on, not taking any notice to him putting on the breaks.

“Come on, we are miles off” (Well, five steps…)

He muffled the word no. I took no notice haha. Oh heck, he just stopped me in time, or I would have joined two young lads, probably taking them out with one not so swift move.

 

I asked him how he knew they were there as they weren’t talking. He told me he smelt their aftershave.

Say what?

From half way down the road? And my Teen was away for the weekend. Haha. I couldn’t smell a thing. Not even as close as I got to them.

 

I could tell the boys were watching us all the time and when I said to Hub here is the bus, I could tell they were thinking, how the heck does she know? Em, I heard the engine, but you know a year ago, I used to really struggle with the difference between busses and lorry’s and believe it or not, some high powerful cars too. All sounded the same to me. It’s amazing how if you teach yourself to hear differently, how much you learn.

 

I have said it before and I shall say it again, it’s a myth that people without sight can hear better.

 

Well, it was interesting on the busses again, listening to all the people. And the unfortunate part of having to smell the smokers. Yes, I know people don’t smoke on the buses, but they have smoked whilst waiting for a bus and when they get on, oh boy they stink!

 

Oh it took ages to get to town. The traffic was dreadful. Well, I presumed that is why we were parked up for ages? Let’s hope it wasn’t because the bus driver fancied a nap?

 

It took about forty minutes to get to our city it should have taken about half an hour maximum. We got off the buss and really struggled as there were people behind us, in front of us, at the side of us and above our heads.

Yes you read correctly. People stopped to look at someone in the air. Perhaps on a tourist air balloon or some kind of craft, unless there was someone up a tree? Hehehe.

All I know is, when they suddenly stopped, to look, I, didn’t.

“Oops!”

Oh well, jog on. Oh then next thing, I was walking along, my white cane couldn’t move I’m not kidding, there is no room, so let’s just say, me, I kind of interrupted a lady eating her bag of chips. Hehehe.

I wonder if she was almost finished them.

Let’s hope so. I must say, they smelled delicious. Well, really, she just stood looking at me. How do I know? As when I apologised, she also said sorry bless her, and she was facing me at the time. So if these people can’t see me coming towards them, big Mama Fi, well, I know where they can get a guide dog!

 

Oh the worst part, dogs?

Seriously, flipping dogs everywhere. We didn’t know until one of them decided to try to have a go at our LC. LC was like

“Yeah, whah, evva

Out of me way. Don’t you know I have an important job to do?”

Then another dog, this time smaller. Didn’t bark at us until we were almost on top of it. A tiny dog with a squeaky high bark. One that hurts your ears.

 

Then there were men selling those stupid whistles. Well our dogs are trained with the whistle, so they really don’t like those? But at least we know when to turn coming back, where the whistles are selling, right?

Em, nope. The guys move about. Hehe.

Oh man, it was packed. Oh ad there was new lampposts in the middle of the path. They were not there two months ago. And we found a bin too. Right in the middle of a path. Ouch. It blooming hurt.

Or was it chip lady in disguise?

Getting revenge.

There was a point going to the bank I really wanted to just stand still. Have a moment and say I wanted to go home. I was pushed, and bumped into and knocked and we had to keep going off the path as there were scaffolding. Then there were tables outside of a café. They were not there all summer, so hey, winter, so cold, so let’s arrange a little street café. On and off the steps/path. Good old LC, really, the white cane couldn’t do such a good job. At least my cane didn’t get stuck into something undesirable on this day.

Really, still on our way to the bank. There were times I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t as needed to concentrate.

Then came the rain. Oh lovely jubly

LC was so happy. Hub said her tail was right above the harness. She is half retriever and half Shepherd, so has a long bushy tail, and of course long face, hence long chops.

 my tail was going nowhere.

 

With my new bruises, I still was shocked that we were actually doing this route. Really, only joking when I say I take people out with one swift move, haha. I may make them jump, or knock them off balance or even wake them up a little, but don’t actually knock them to the ground, oh if I did that, I would never go out again. But this day, what on earth were we doing and it will get worse as the Christmas shoppers come for real

I would love to learn the way to M&S, but there are market stalls right in front of the way there and they are impossible to find our way around, so we are so limited. Bank, a coffee shop, bakers, key cutting shop and a Chemist. Oh the soap shop and nut centre, but we won’t be going to the nut shop, again, as we are a little suspicious of the change we have been receiving from there. I.e. not enough.

And our hair dressers.

So up the steps into our bank. The staff are really lovely, but so badly organised. But they are very helpful and we always have a joke there. Yes, a joke, I know, a bank isn’t the place to joke, well, if you don’t joke when you go to your bank, then, you haven’t been to our bank…

It is a joke!

There was a little drama as we sat and waited. A man came in and started to shout and be aggressive to the lady on the front of the desk. She handled it well. But could have been really dangerous. And you know moments before, I was thinking, end of the day, oh heck, what if a bank robber comes in? Then this awful rude man entered. My heart pounded.

Out of there and on our way for a haircut.

Battled through the crowds. The dogs, I don’t know why anyone brings a dog as a pet to town? I know we have parks in the town, but they are not near the shops.

So every distraction for LC, with people, new obstacles, whistles and so on. She was amazing. Then we passed a group as in a band. Playing, we got a little too close to them; well we have to stick to the route we know. They didn’t stop playing though, then a guitarist. Oh I became hysterical. Poor Hub was so calm and wonderful, I just lost the plot. I wanted to stand still and just scream. Get me out of here. But that would look a bit daft.

Then I heard the cars. Oh God, not a road to cross? No crossing either. But we did it and we lived another day and challenge.

Into our hairdressers. Oh the noise in there too. A vacuum was blasting collecting hair, ten hairdryers at least, so many people talking it was impossible to hear any conversation or a single word. We didn’t hear our hairdresser say words to us, but we knew it was us or Hub he was addressing, as an inaudible voice was facing us. OK, it could have been a Fifi moment when I stood up, addressed the hairdresser with open arms for my blooming awful gown they put on you to find out it was a customer saying Hi to LC. But it was Hubs turn to get a cut, so I sat on my safe butt.

We got back home and I for one was totally exhausted, but we did it. How? I will never ever know. To me it’s a miracle.

Friday 24 October 2014

FI'S FRIDAY DIARY


 Good evening Bloggets. Spoke with my brother today via messaging. Oh I so miss him but going through a very odd time and this bloody wall around me right now am built earthquake proof. So much is going on in my world. This has been a dreadful year and I can’t wait to see the back of it. I just want to give my big brother a huge cuddle but my pain factor won’t allow any more damage

Just a quick blog before I must dash. Hub due in from work in five moments. Not sure what is going on at his place of employment, but there is a lot of action that is causing him stress. But he is a perfectionist so whatever he does I am sure he will be fine.

Looking forward to the weekend with him. Tomorrow we are off to town, oh boy, that will be hectic, as I just got back from there an hour ago and it was pretty full.

Teen just left for the weekend. He’s gone to someone’s for tonight and tomorrow he will visit a University in our old hometown. He’s staying overnight and coming back on Sunday tea time. I hope driving without any insurance won’t be on the cards this weekend? He will stay with the ex. At least he’s had some food before he left to go tonight. As it will be tomorrow tea time before he will get any more food as where he is going, it’s never clear if he will have anything to eat.

Today he went for a job interview. The other job he applied for didn’t take him on though they took four weeks to tell him. I am sure because he won’t work Saturdays. Of course that is when they want their workers. I don’t mind if he gets a job or not, he works to buy for other people and I can’t see the benefit for him. He’s still only seventeen at the end of the day.

So I will let you know how we got on in our town, but I really expect it to be incredibly busy.

I am not sure if I am looking forward to it. Really, it’s been weeks if not months since Hub and I went out on our own to town. You know when you don’t do something for so long? Oh I am rather anxious. It’s almost like our first time there. I always wonder how the heck we manage to do it. How we know or should I say Hub knows when it’s time to get off the bus? We in two years have made one mistake got off the wrong stop by a mile and it was hell.

 I got a Christmas present today for our Son. It’s so difficult buying Christmas gifts and I am so stressed about it. But I managed today as I went with my neighbour and I hope he will like what I got him? I love it… I know it’s not even Halloween yet and I’m talking about Christmas, but we have to grab every opportunity as if I only buy one thing every few weeks, then by the big day, I hopefully will have everything. I have to have most of them by the start of December as we are visiting our friends then so the majority are going to be handed over then. My Aunt is coming the leading days up to  Christmas so we will exchange then. I always get wrong as she complains about having to carry them all the way home on the train, so this year I have to try to find small gifts for her. She doesn’t quite get the fact we get what we can when we can but my friend Di is great, so I hope to go shopping with her at some point and my dearest friend Julie is coming in December. Well, that is the theory; I can’t rely on that as she has loads going on in her life as she is moving from the North East to London at that point. Oh I will miss her doubt I will see her as much, though she says she will come the same amount of times.

It’s odd; loads of my friends are moving areas. Different parts of the country. I am sure my friend Julie will not like the capital, I hope I am wrong, perhaps it’s because I hate London and can’t understand why anyone would like to live there?

There is a house been sold two doors down from us, so we will have a new neighbour, but when?  The house has been sold for a couple of months and no one has been seen near it. Oh I hope we don’t have students or undesirables living there? Haha haha. Our avenue of all sorts. Hmm. Let’s see who moves into a house like that?

We are blessed as our neighbours are amazing, so quiet, and never party or have loud music. I guess we are a little on the noisy side, well our Son is when he has his music on. Hub never plays the piano now; I can’t remember the last time he did. I bet a year ago? He has wasted talents. If I could sing and play as well as he can, I would be getting removal people to lift and push the piano into our front garden. Haha.

OK, I’m being summonsed. Must dash for now. Later gators with tales from our town. X

Thursday 23 October 2014

TOM CAT


Hi Bloggets. It’s almost half ten in the evening and it’s pouring with rain. What does my Son do? Puts on his coat and goes to the movies.

He will be in at one at the earliest. That’s one a.m.

So six hours sleep before college, or sleeps longer and is late for his lesson. Well, his problem. He has complained as I am he said not fair as I cooked seven chicken breasts for his lunch and more. Because I won’t let him eat seven to himself, I’m not fair. Well, at almost £10 I asked him as a university student, how will he live if he thinks he should eat seven in one sitting?

He has an enormous appetite it’s mad.

Yes you read right, now he is going to University. So that’s great. He will love it. He will have lots of attention from tutors for sure… As for girls? Well he gets lots of that so all those girls away from home, will be glad of some attention I’m sure.

I expect a person he knows though will be at the same University and if they can’t get into the same Uni, well, they may not bother going.

Teen is off to our hometown at the weekend. I expect he will be out and about enjoying the northern nightlife. Hub wants to go back there one day, but I really don’t know. I have some great friends there and my aunt, but I have some good people here too. And though I broke my heart leaving the North East, I guess boarding school taught me wherever I hang my hat, is my home!

“Now, where did I leave me hat?

 

I think your home is where you feel comfortable, happy, and safe and have those around you who you care about and who care about you.

People walk through our lives, but only true friends leave footprints on our hearts.

 

When I know my Son is happy, then I will feel at peace and at home here.

 

It’s really cold tonight. Our heating is on. There was someone killed in London with our storms. Dreadful. But my heart goes out tonight to the poor man in Canada guarding the Prime minister and other delegates, who got gunned down by an evil person. Why do people kill those they don’t even know? Why? I don’t get it. Same for our soldiers. I know they are doing a job, and I will never know how they do it and I feel so worried for them as they are mainly young kids dying for what?

Great protect our country, save the people on our streets getting mugged and stop illegal people getting into Britain, but killing? No. Awful. So you kill who you don’t even know? That’s just awful and pointless and so very sad. Well that killer is dead now too, so for what did he do that crime? Where is he, now? Hein, hell? Just in a mortuary on a slab? How do his family feel? He could have been with them at home. I mean, Canada is a wonderful place to live.

Update, I wrote this last night, but it’s a new day now. Teen came in at half two. Got his stuff and left to sleep out. His poor friends Mum and Dad? It’s horrible for them. I am embarrassed.

He did get up though and said he went to college. Even asked me to call his tutor to make sure. Well I am due an update to see how he is doing?

He won’t be back till seven tonight as he’s out after college seeing someone…

So today loads of emails and phone calls to do for my Husband. I have two dogs at home. Hub left LC. He said she would be good company for Wagga, well that is a laugh? She’s still in bed and it’s after one.

 

Our post person is funny; he comes to the door so carefully putting the mail through ever so gently. He is scared of our LC. Haha. With reason?

Later gators but before I go

Our prime purpose in this life, is to help others and if you can’t help them, then at least, don’t hurt them

Monday 20 October 2014

FIFI FIGHTING THROUGH THE FOG


Good morning to our Bloggets today from Slovakia, China, Australia, Germany, Canada, UK and US, Belgium and more. It’s great to see you all here. When I first started this blog page two years ago, I really thought perhaps a few of my friends would take a look and not return. Bless them they looked and came back and I’m pleased to say, they are still my faithful Bloggets and joining them are all of you and how proud I am to say that we have reached well over 60,000 views. It’s almost crazy? I keep thinking how? Why? But it’s great and as I keep saying, God only knows why this blog is still going? I mean you have seen my life turn upside down whether in words of a story/blog or a poem and you have been to the shops with me, church, and Doctors concerts and even in my garden not to mention when we got decorated? Oh remember back then? I was so anxious what the heck we were putting on our walls, but I picked our wallpaper and I am delighted with it. Now the cream with gold embossment looks in my mind and according to my friends, really well as specially as I have now stained the fireplace shiny black to match our piano and black leather sofa’s. I have two alcoves and they are so slim, but I got a great joiner to make really lovely shelves in there so I can put all of my Beatrix Potter ornaments, fairies, angels and elephants on there. I love them. I also have a black Ceiling light fitting too, and a wall light, oh heck, the wall light? Well, em, that was a kind of blind moment, or should I say blonde moment. I just didn’t think. Basically there was a wall light on the fire breast wall when we moved in. Oh it was hideous. It was rusty, not joking, it was a picture light. So Fifi thought, OK, take it off, not me personally, but my electrician. OK, I’m not that daft to mess with wires… So take it off and I was happy with the one I bought to replace the old one. I handed it over with pride as I managed to find a wall light shaped like a candle, but it was cream, with gold? Get me? To match my wallpaper. Well, forgetting that it was a picture light I had before. My new wall paper, so no knew holes could be put on my walls, Have you either guessed or remembered? Well the electrician told me if he put it up the right way, the bulb would be kissing the Ceiling. So I had to have the candle looking drunk. Well, upside down, oh it looks in my mind stupid. But it was so difficult to get this one on line; I really dare not do it again, also what a waste of money? The rest of the room looks lovely though. Thank God I used to be able to see enough to remember things in my mind. So it’s odd, I look to my fireplace and see the black glossy frame around the white marble and I see the cushions on my sofa looking really lovely, cream against the black… Now what I may not see is the blooming dog hairs on the cream cushions, as naughty Wagga climbs on the sofa when I am not in the room.  Oh well, I guess her black hair matches the sofa? Hehehe.

All of my pictures but one is gold frames and the one that isn’t is my tiger huge picture that is a black shiny frame, really thick and has my beautiful white tiger looking at our huge wedding photo on the opposite wall, the fire breast wall. That was the happiest day of my life.

Oh though I would give anything to just wake up in the morning and see a different view? My eyes hurt as I stare and really think that there is a block and if I really believe that I can see, I will? The most promising future we have so far is to see day and night and shadows as well as shapes. Well, of course that will help, but still no colour, no features, no reading letters/birthday greetings or just being able to go out of the house and shop for things like home goods?

But I still have to live in hope that the shadows will lead to shapes and therefor features and small print. I wonder if it’s money or brain power that is stopping the process from being a little speedier.

Still my mind’s eye goes on, though sometimes I do get it wrong. But when I get it right and my friends tell me in disbelief how good my house looks, I feel so proud and pride is something of late I have been struggling with.

 

Oh Heck, my canary is making it really difficult to hear my computer. He is Irish you know? Haha. I love him.

We are forecast storms today in the UK.

The calm before the storm as at the weekend, well Saturday, it was so mild and warm. As for yesterday? Oh God. I went to the shop with Wagga. A total nightmare. It was really windy. Never again will I go out on a Sunday or when it’s windy. As three times now when Wags and I have had our worst adventures, it’s either been so windy I can’t see/hear/blind persons fog I call the wind. Or, Sunday, no people around to ask for help.

So yesterday a double up. Wind and Sunday. We got totally lost. Just by not turning right when she should have. All because she is a sniffer. I tell you she should have been a police dog. Though she is soft, gentle and timid, she sniffs for England. So when I thought we should have turned right, I told her, she sniffed so much. I couldn’t move her, so I thought she isn’t moving because it’s not time to turn yet and she sniffs when she gets anxious too. Haha, imagine humans, if when we get anxious we just stop, and sniff the ground? Oh heck, that’s another story for another blog, though I’m sure I have written about it before. I have written almost eighteen hundred blogs, so if I repeat just give me a nudge?

So Ok, I got it wrong so I said the words hop hop … Meaning move on a bit faster, though faster than stop?

We walked, and then I couldn’t feel any trees on my right. I thought heck there is nothing but air to my right. Normally the air is muffled by trees. Oh I was scared as on my left is a huge step onto our really busy road, where the traffic stops for no one.

 

So, I kept saying to Wags, turn right. She did and as I walked down the track, I really thought there were too many leaves beneath my feet. Also the path was thinner? I told her to turn left as that would be the way we went to the shop? She did. We walked up a steep tactile path and she led me to a door. Oh God, where were we? Not our shops for sure. I stopped. Tried to hear. Tried to see. I mean, I have been blind for 16 years, and I still believe/hope I can really still see? Well, there was nothing in front of me but dirty brown and grey. No shadows to give me a clue or nothing.

 

My heart was pounding and I began to talk to myself in my head…

 Don’t worry Bloggets, not out allowed.

“OK Fiona, where are you? Try to think? Obviously you have gone past your turn. So what’s after that? What can I hear? The road is still where I could get to, so should I go back to that and reverse my steps?”

Well, I possibly should have done, but I was so terrified to go onto the main road. The cars and lorry’s are never ending there is never a break through the day.

I had told myself that this was the doctors, but a totally different route to what I have been taught, Hmm. A better way in so many ways, half the time for sure. Interesting, very interesting and one for thought.

But what to do now? Well I went back down the tactile path, thank God for that so I knew where I had to go. Then where though? Oh God it was awful. I heard cars, so that would be the cars in the car park. I followed the sound walking so slowly. Then I realised I was in the middle of a really big car park. No people just a few cars in the distance. The roaring from the cars on my right from the road was deafening. So I had the cars from the car park that was a kind of silent murmur in the distance, the banging roaring clunking sounds from the road and the wild wind. My long hair was covering my face and the bag I took to the shops was ready for take off. Making my dog nervous

I found myself in the middle of concrete. It was set though, so I was OK, right? So I had to find a path. When I asked Wagga to do so, she went reluctantly to a leafy pathway it was soil basically, so not a path, so I stuck to that kerb and followed it around as far as it went. Then I told Wagga to find the door. OK, we were miles away from any door, but she is a great door finder, perhaps because she is a “Labrador?”

OK, be sensible Fifi

Well next thing, we were on a road. Oh heck I now felt sick. I can’t even imagine what my features were like? I just wanted to cry. I was so afraid. When I get like this, I don’t think straight.

I kept telling her to find the door. She felt in her harness as though she had seen a door. Oh thank God, I felt warmth from a building line. Now someone’s house? Who knows? Then the best thing happened. Wagga walked me into Louis’s restaurant. Oh quick, get out before he comes running, I’m not in the mood to be happy Fi. So, I knew where to go from then on. Back home and no biscuit for Wagga, though that punishment didn’t last long, as we did get back and I am alive. If I had a stick, no way I could have done that, OK I may not have got lost in the first place, but if I had, then my cane can’t find doors and whilst it can’t sniff, it can get stuck in mud or drains, then you look like you are fighting with spaghetti. As the elastic gets longer and longer between the plastic sections of the cane.

 

So back home. Few double few. That was enough for one weekend thank you?

P.S. My friend Terry reminded me I didn’t tell you what the almond breeze was in my shopping? I thought it was an air freshener. No, it was artificial milk. Made from almonds and like I said to her, no, I didn’t spray it around my room… x

Sunday 19 October 2014

MY LITTLE BOY BY FIONA CUMMINGS


MY LITTLE BOY

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

As I sit here and watch my Son

With a huge smile he’s having fun

With his building bricks

And box of tricks

His cowboys

And tubs of toys

His big blue car

Is never far

And I don’t want to know

What’s in that jar?

I’m amused

Somewhat confused

Why he takes time to build

Then thinks it’s funny

“Mummy I’ve killed!

As all the building bricks spill

It’s such a thrill

What does he expect me to do?

Mothers out there, give me a clue?

So I laugh and tell him it’s time for a bath

Then the laughter sadly turns to tears

But a promise we will find his boats

And see which one is last to float

Oh we have to have the bubbles

He’s not happy unless he’s in some kind of trouble

His water turns to purple

As he pours the liquid from the bottle

“It’s like ice cream

He yells, with such joy

I love, my little boy

Then I tuck him safe in bed

Stroke his curls upon his little head

“Sleep little darling as you are yawning

Mummy will be here in the morning

For a new day

More play

As his smooth paths will be full of rubble

He will graze his knee

And come to me for a cuddle

Then with clean clothes

Will find a muddy puddle

He’s so cute with his dimple cheeks and turned up nose

And what he will do today?

No one knows

But whatever it will be

At the end of the day he will sit on my knee

And a proud Mummy I will be

I love my little boy

He fills my heart with such joy

As I hold his hand

To show him life

A new land

Mountains to climb

Rivers to swim

He’s mighty fine

And I love him

But when he grows up to be a man

I will do as much for him as I can

Because I am his Mam

And he’s my little boy

 

Copy right 2014 Fiona Cummings